Takes

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

LeBron James is on steroids because of his size and longevity

I will go with LeBron James. I mean, how is he not on steroids? That big. I'm not throwing a flag. That's probably an honorable mention. I mean there's, that's probably an honorable mention.

Secretariat was definitely on steroids

I'm gonna take Secretariat. Some would say the the greatest athlete of all time. But its heart was like three times too big. We've documented that tirelessly on this show. Secretariat definitely on steroids. Randy Moss, white, Randy Moss agreed. Chances are very, very high.

Pepper jack cheese is yellow

I'll go with pepper jack cheese.

I used to think that if you dug a deep enough hole in the ground, you would eventually reach China

If you dug deep enough you could reach China. I honestly thought that I could... every kid and I I was probably is is that wrong? ... I looked this up a couple months ago. It's actually embarrassing how shallow the deepest hole ever dug is.

I used to think that kissing was the same thing as having sex

Kissing equals sex... that I thought for a long time. That's a really good one. That's how you thought babies were made... whether you say sex or go, they're kissing. I was like, oh, they're naked kissing... because you would watch a movie and they would [kiss] and then whatever.

I used to think that jumping at the last second in a falling elevator would save your life

If you're an elevator and it falls and you jump at the end, you survive... I just looked it up. It's not true. It's not true. You would die.

TV reruns are actually actors performing the exact same script live for a second time

I used to think that when you'd watch a rerun of a show on TV, that it was an all new taping of the exact same script... I thought that like, I'd be watching Saved by the Bell... They're doing the same song, but they're just taping it again for us.

I used to think my testicles were made of Play-Doh and that eating actual Play-Doh would make them grow bigger

I thought my balls, my testicles were Play-Doh. So when my parents told me don't eat Play-Doh, I thought they were trying to be like, Hey don't eat Play-Doh because your balls will just get bigger because it will just go right to your balls... You just don't know what they are when you're a little kid and you start touching 'em, you're like, this is weird. I'm like, oh, it must be Play-Doh.

I used to believe that all adults were smart and understood exactly what was going on

I honestly used to think that every adult was smart. I thought if you were grown up, you knew what was going on. And then you grow up and you're like, we're all dumb. No, we're all really fucking dumb. I was probably smarter when I was a kid than I am now.

Chocolate milk comes from brown cows

I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows... I was up north driving past a brown cow and I pointed to my cousin, I said, you know, chocolate milk comes from those things.

Titties are a type of meat

Titties is meat. Great choice. ... They're made out of meat. ... Is it the Mount Rushmore meat that you eat? Fact or fiction. ... I enjoy looking at the meat.

I am willing a Tom Brady return to the Patriots into existence

If I'm gonna put it on my Florio hat real quick here... I will Tom Brady back to the Patriots. ... Tom Brady has been linked to conversations coming back to New England Patriots this year per us.

I bet Hank $50,000 that the Patriots won't make a Super Bowl in the next five years

Hank and I have a five year Super Bowl bet. If the Patriots don't get back to the Super Bowl in the next five years... If they do get there in the next five years, I owe Hank $50,000. If they don't, he owes me 20 grand.

The female orgasm is a myth created by 'Big Orgasm'

The female orgasm. Not real. Big orgasm has been lying to you guys. Girls don't come. They just do it because they like to make us feel bad for coming too quick. Exactly... let's be honest, let's get real honest here. That shit's not real.

Shark attacks are not real and people just overreact to minor injuries

I don't think shark attacks are real. I just don't think they're real. I think someone hits their leg on like a coral reef or something. I don't believe them. I do not think they're real. I think someone... you're a bad swimmer. You probably stubbed your toe and then overreacted.

Shohei Ohtani's success is not real and is impossible to believe

Shohei Ohtani. Not real. Not real. Not real. Anytime an athlete does something insane, that's not real life.

Peyton and Eli Manning are the most overrated siblings of all time

If we're saying most overrated siblings of all time, [the Mannings] would probably be up there. Peyton, everyone talks about Peyton, he basically won one. Eli stole two from [the Patriots].

The Wright Brothers are technically responsible for every aviation-related tragedy in history

[The Wright Brothers] are also responsible for 9/11. I mean, it was flying. It started there. ... You're also taking responsibility for Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

I learned how to run before I learned how to walk

I learned to run before I learned to walk.

You do not want to mess with the United States Women's National Soccer Team

You do not want to fuck with the United States Women's National Soccer team. They're going for three straight women's world cups right now. And you don't wanna screw with them. They're dominant.

Men evolved beards as a form of physical armor to protect their throats in combat

I actually read this crazy thing that men developed beards because it prevented them from getting their throat slashed in combat. It was an extra like thing of Armor.

The David Montgomery run against the Packers is the greatest highlight in football history

If we did a Mount Rushmore of legendary runs, that [David Montgomery run] is number one. We'll always have 'the run'. It's number one.

Hasbulla is a bigger living legend than Michael Jordan

One-one is Hasbulla. He's a living legend. He walks in the room, everyone stops. You go to any country in the world and they're like—Hasbulla. He's got international [fame]. Hasbulla objectively is way bigger [than Michael Jordan].

Cold pasta has no carbs or calories

Here's a, here's a little fun fact for everyone as a nutritionist, pasta cold pasta has no carbs. So that's just a fact for everyone out there. No carbs, no calories, cold pasta. You can, whenever you eat cold pasta, the next day you could just eat so much of it.

Derek Carr will win NFL MVP in 2022

MVP 2,500. Oh wow. Jersey Jerry... Jersey Jerry gave it to me. I put it in. It's the first future I have. MVP the whole league... With one of the best wide receivers actually. And one of the best offensive coordinators. And they had a lot of promise last year.

Russell Wilson will win NFL MVP in 2022

I think I'm gonna pick Russell Wilson because it's like, you know that the narratives there... If the Broncos are incredible, Russell Wilson will get all the credit. Yeah. All of it. Everything... Peyton Manning his first year in Denver what happened? He went fucking nuts. Exactly.

The Green Bay Packers will win the 2023 Super Bowl

The green bay Packers won the 20, 23 super bowl. Congrats. Aaron Rodgers super bowl MVP. Yep. He did it. So when that happens, you guys all remember that it was team cat com that picked that.

Jack Nicklaus' name is actually pronounced 'Jack Naus'

First thing, Jack Nicklaus is pronounced Jack Naus... I think that those clips were the original way they pronounced his name and just over time it's been butchered.

60% of bank robberies go unsolved

My theory about bank robbers is I think you get away with robbing banks way more than we're told... I think like 60% of bank robberies go unsolved. It's a great business model.

There is a good chance the 1980 Soviet hockey team threw the Miracle on Ice game for money

I was thinking what, there's probably a pretty good chance that, that Russian team threw the game. Right? Cause like they were, they were bigger, older, stronger professional hockey players... It wouldn't be above like corrupt Russians to take a shitload of money on the side.

I always bet the over on Bedlam no matter what

My favorite college tradition... betting the over in Bedlam, no matter what, no matter what. Oklahoma/Oklahoma State play, over, put it on your phone.

A silverback gorilla could defeat an elephant by choking it out

I'm going to go elephant versus silverback gorilla. If the elephant can fucking get on his back and get him in a chokehold... [A] gorilla can tap out an elephant.

I could probably choke out a teenage polar bear

[Big Cat: Billy, could you choke out a teenage polar bear?] I'd get pretty cut up, but maybe.

The Pyramids of Giza were probably built by aliens

I'm going to go with the real pyramids, Pyramids of Giza... the greatest structural engineering ever done, probably done by aliens.

I could medal in curling because I like cleaning

My first pick is going to be curling. I think if you just gave me four years, I could figure it out every single day. I like shuffleboard, I like ice, I like being slightly overweight... and broom guy, the broom guy seems like it's like—I love cleaning.

I could medal in pole vaulting if I trained for four years

I will go with pole vaulting. You just run, stick the stick... All you got to do is run straight and get the timing down. I'm going to be jacked by August.

I could medal in Equestrian sports because the horse does the work

This one, you actually don't have to be athletic at all, but a question in sports... you can train a horse, you don't actually have to be that good. ... It's new team names. The horse does the work.

I could medal in Olympic ski jumping by just going 'full send' once

I'm going to go with ski jumping. I'll just bomb it once and just go full send... and just land and crash and I'll have the longest one. ... I can stand perfectly still for about 10 seconds while I'm going downhill... and then you just do like one of those little springs at the last second.

Penguin meat would be a delicious treat because of their fat layer

I'm going to go with a penguin. Ooh. I would eat a penguin... And you admit though, like their diet gives them a nice layer of fat. Yeah. It's probably a delicious treat. Yeah. Right.

Animals likely understand everything we say but are collectively choosing to ignore us

What if all the animals actually understood what we were saying but just just ignoring us... like the minute they figure out that we know shit's gonna get crazy and they can't talk back.

I will break my wrist if I attempt to ride a skateboard during the tandem bike tour

I'm bad at balancing in general. So I've always wanted to surf or skateboard can't do it. If I get on a skateboard, I guarantee you within probably less than a second, I will break my wrist very bad.

I could take a boa constrictor in a wrestling match

I think I could take a boa constrictor. I don't think a boa constrictor could take down like a fucking well... I just punch it in its brain over and over. I would you kick a boa constrictor up doesn't have to take down a boa constrictor our python an anaconda might get you.

Kevin Durant is going to come on Pardon My Take eventually

I'll go with well i i mean i think this guy's gonna come on but i'll go with kevin durant as my first pick i think he is gonna come on but i really really want him to come on.

Sebastian Telfair was going to be the greatest NBA player of all time

Sebastian Telfair Through the Wire. I watched that movie like this kid is going to be... I was like this He's skipping College like he's dominating Dwight Howard. He is going to be the greatest NBA player of all time.

Joey Harrington was going to be an unbelievable NFL pro

I would have put my life my 20 no my 18 year old life on this guy being an unbelievable Pro Joey Harrington. I was convinced Joey Harrington was going to be so good... it was also like Oregon up-tempo. This is all new. Who is this guy? Joey Harrington, I was convinced I was going to be that dude.

Freddy Adu was going to save American soccer

I'm going to have to go with the goat Freddy Adu and we still don't know. He still could be great true... he was the first one I went to his very first game. DC United. I was there he got in after like I don't know 70 minutes. I was like if he's really good. He's probably be starting. That was my first clue. Yeah, but maybe he wouldn't be great.

Greg Oden was a better prospect than Kevin Durant

I was Big Time Greg Odin's better than Kevin Durant and I was like, how can you pass on a big man this good? I think I was probably biased because he played you know, I watched him play the Big Ten... I would have put everything on Greg Oden being that block.

If Rex Grossman beat Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl, Manning would have never won a ring

I still think that Rex Grossman could be a great quarterback because that arm strength come on... you could say that if Rex Grossman had beaten paid Manning in that game. Peyton Manning would have never wandering correct correct facts.

I honestly think I could fly a plane in an emergency based on flight simulators and 'Top Gun'

I honestly think I could fly an airplane... if the pilot becomes incapacitated during the flight. I'm going to raise my hand and be like, I have flown numerous flight simulators. I played the Top Gun video game. I've seen Top Gun like 10 times. I think I could get the plane close to landing.