Takes

The Yankees suck and won't even make the playoffs

They suck. Blow up the team. They won't even make the playoffs. [The Yankees] suck. It's been the same team five years in a row.

The Mets and Yankees will meet in the World Series (Subway Series)

I like a subway series. Yes. I like the New York Mets against the New York Yankees. I think with deGrom and Scherzer back and 100%, I think the Mets find a way to separate themselves even further and win that division. And I don't see anybody slowing down the Yankees. I just really don't.

Trey Mancini is the Comeback Player of the Year

Comeback player of the year. We're going to [Trey Mancini]. I think that's well-deserved came back from cancer. I mean, who can top that? Yeah, he, he was beaten out by [Klay Thompson], who came back from an ACL. [Trey Mancini] came back from cancer.

MLB might rig the Home Run Derby for Albert Pujols by giving him 'good balls'

I do think there's a pretty good chance that they might rig it for Albert Pujols. He might get the good balls.

I bet $40,000 on the Orioles to win the AL

I made a bet on the Orioles to win the AL at 400 to one... I just got caught up in the buzz and I was like, fuck, I think I want a ride. I want, I want to ride with these guys.

The New York Yankees will win the 2022 World Series

Congratulations to the New York Yankees winners of the 2022 world series. Congratulations guys.

I'm betting on a Subway Series between the Mets and Yankees in the World Series

I'm putting in subway series, future. The Mets and the Yankees to meet in the world series. I think it's 14 to one... I just want to see it in this office and the chaos that ensues.

MLB should not ban the defensive shift

I don't love the shift being banned. I really don't... I also don't like the idea of having the greatest product of the sport in the world telling guys that they no longer need to learn how to be multi-dimensional as a hitter. Manufacturing runs shouldn't be a lost art.

The Dodgers will beat the Mariners in the 2022 World Series

The Dodgers versus the Mariners. Dodgers win. I'm going to go like that. Mariners going to be the playoffs in 20 years.

Home runs are going to increase because MLB stopped testing for steroids

My cool throne are yobbos, dingers, home runs, whatever you want to call them. Because for the first time in 20 years, Major League Baseball is stopping testing its players for steroids... I love it. Everybody use the ball and juice to go back and forth.

The Red Sox would have beaten the Braves if they made the World Series

Absolutely. Absolutely. Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. Thank you. 2021 World Series champions.

The Braves will not win the World Series without Charlie Morton

Charlie Morton breaking his leg, unbelievable performance fact that he kept pitching... It's going to be very tough for the Braves to win this world series without their number one. And that sucks. I do not think the Braves are gonna be able to survive without Charlie Morton.

The Braves will win the World Series in five games

Braves in five.

The Astros will win the World Series in seven games

Houston in seven.

The Braves are going to kill the Dodgers tonight in Game 5 of the NLCS

And then we're taking me before the Braves Dodgers game. This will be all time Atlanta curse slash big cat mush. But I think the Braves are gonna kill the Dodgers tonight.

The Red Sox are the best team in baseball and will win the World Series

It's just crazy that the red Sox are just going to win the world series again... They're not that good. They're not that good. Oh, but now they're just the best team in baseball. Yeah. They're like killing the Astros.

The Red Sox are a team of destiny and are going to the World Series

Red Sox, Team of Destiny. I think they're going deep in Socktober. They're going to the World Series. They have something about them that is going to... I don't know what it is.

The Red Sox are going to win the World Series

I mean, the Red Sox, I think they're going to win the World Series at this point. I think everything that happens... doesn't it feel like they have those weird vibes going now?

I really thought this was the Cardinals' year in the World Series

It sucks because Cardinals were actually my pick to win the World Series, so I feel bad about that. I really did think it was their year.

The Yankees will beat the Red Sox 5-4 in the 2021 Wild Card game

I'm going to go Yankees 5-4... The Powerball number that was drawn in Boston was 1-9-7-8, 1978. 1978, the Red Sox blew like a 20-game lead over the Yankees... Yankees win 5-4. Yankees go on to win the World Series over the Dodgers. That's what's happening this year.

Tony La Russa will win MLB Manager of the Year

He's gonna win manager of the year. It's going to be so funny when that happens and everyone's going to be [pissed].

The New York Yankees should fire Aaron Boone

I think we should fire him. ... You let him throw the third wild pitch? Like the first two, like take him out. Like the guy definitely was not in any position to be on that mound.

I will spend $20,000 on a guys' trip for PMT if I hit 20 home runs in the second half

All right. I like that. Okay. Yeah. Just the guys... 20 home runs? A lot of home runs in the second [half]. 20 for 20. If you hit 20 home runs, we'll do a Brewster's millions, but it's $20,000 weekend where Christian just spends it on us.

There will be a chain of custody issue with the ejected pitcher's hermetically sealed glove

My prediction, there's going to be a chain of custody issue that comes into play with the glove. The pitcher's going to peel it. He's going to get off. And Rob Manfred still won't have a head.

NC State are the real national champions of college baseball

NC State got screwed. Wolfpack are my national champions. They actually did a parade, and they had everyone come to the stadium. They said, we're the national champs. If UCF can do it, why can't NC State?

Defensive teams should score a run if they turn a triple play.

Actually, I think you should be able to get a run for a triple play. On defense, you should be able to score a run if you get a triple play... give us what the fans want, and that's defensive runs.

The Houston Astros weren't just banging on garbage cans—they were using NASA technology

If the Astros got this technology from NASA that was going to steal these signs and relay them to the dugout on internet wifi... believe me guys, they wouldn't be banging on a garbage drum and give the hitter signal. It had to be very high-tech guys.

J-Lo should buy the New York Mets as an all-time flex on A-Rod

You know what would be an all-time flex if J-Lo went out and she bought the New York Mets? If she invested in it.

I am going to be a major Major League Baseball fan this year

I've decided to own a fantasy baseball team in a $0 a year league on ESPN with random people. I am going to be a major league baseball fan this year. Just like of the entire league. Just of the stats.

Fernando Tatis Jr. is at risk for a regression year as the league adjusts to him

Is there a chance he [Fernando Tatis Jr.] might not have a great season because people figure him out and it's a quote-unquote sophomore slump even though it's his third year? And is there a chance that happens and we maybe got a little bit ahead of ourselves with the hype?

The Oakland Athletics can go deeper in the playoffs this season than they did last year

There's no reason that the Oakland A's, there's no reason that the Oakland A's can't make a run deeper into the postseason than they did last year... Matt Olsen very well could lead the league in home runs. Baseball. Fuck the league. Baseball. He very well could lead baseball in home runs.

The Dodgers and White Sox are the strongest candidates to reach the World Series

I believe the Dodgers are going to be there. I believe the White Sox are a team that is being strongly considered. I just, I feel like if they can handle business in their division, I like, man, I just like how they're built.

The Chicago Cubs prospect Jesus Camargo was likely a front for a drug cartel

Jesus Camargo was arrested after police found 21 pounds of meth in his team equipment bag... Is this something that's an organizational thing where he was assigned to do that? I wouldn't put it past Ricketts to make money any which way. It would not shock me. It'd actually be good for baseball if the Chicago Cubs were just straight up like the Juarez cartel.

The blood on Curt Schilling's sock in the 2004 ALCS was fake paint

My conspiracy is the Curt Schilling sock because there's actually some smoke to that. There's some evidence that the blood on the sock was not actually blood... I do think that it's a shitload of paint that got put back there to make Curt Schilling look like he was pitching his absolute balls off.

Barry Bonds belongs in the Hall of Fame

Barry Bonds. Of course. ... there are probably 10 in the Hall of Fame right now that use PEDs. A couple I injected myself. I won't mention who they are.

The Padres will always finish second to the Dodgers, even with an all-star team

I know this makes no sense, but you could put an all-star team on the Padres and I would just assume that they would finish second.

Clayton Kershaw should be the World Series MVP

Clayton Kershaw World Series MVP, why not? I'm hoping that well—no, he's not going to pitch on Tuesday. I feel like they'll give it to him, right?

Clayton Kershaw will have an epic meltdown in the playoffs

Are you telling me that you're not going to root for an epic Clayton Kershaw meltdown in the playoffs?

The Cubs should win the World Series if they are the only team without a COVID positive

I feel like every single team has had positives actually except for the Cubs. Shout out the Cubs. They should probably win it if the Cubs are the only team that don't get a Corona positive do they win the title? Yes, right.

There is no chance the MLB's plan for reopening works

I think it's time to have an honest conversation about MLB's plan for reopening. There's no chance that it works. I've reached a point where I'm just like I've given up.

The 60-game 2020 season is Mike Trout's best chance to finally make the playoffs

Mike Trout feels like he might opt out... doesn't this feel like the one chance Mike Trout has to go to the playoffs a 16-game season [meant 60]... you could just get hot for a couple months and maybe go to the playoffs and now he's just throwing that out the window.

A 2020 World Series title for the Mets would deserve four asterisks

Mets huge huge asterisks for four asterisks for what if they win the World Series.

Theo Epstein is a genius for not trading Kyle Schwarber because he knew a pandemic and 60-game season were coming

Theo Epstein is a fucking genius. He knew that we were gonna have a pandemic and then a 60-game season and that's why I didn't trade Kyle Schwarber in 2016.

Jose Altuve was clearly acting shady during his 2019 walk-off celebration

I remember watching it... and Going something's and this is before any of the there was even a whiff of the cheating scandal and I thought something was really bizarre about his behavior after that walk off... Greatest moment of his career and he tells he doesn't want to take his shirt off because his wife is shy.

Baseball should not outlaw spitting due to coronavirus concerns

Spitting needs to stay. It's the only place in America where a guy could just go outside and spit non-stop for like four hours and nobody says shit to him... isn't it better to be spitting all your germs out? If you have a handgun and you're constantly firing off rounds into the ground you're way less likely to accidentally shoot somebody. So we should actually be encouraging more spitting.

Any competent MLB team should sign Tim Tebow as a lucky charm mascot

Any competent major league baseball team would know that they need to bring Tim Tebow into their Clubhouse for their Major League Squad... He's like a walking breathing circumcising rally monkey.

The Washington Nationals should be awarded the 2017 World Series title

I actually think that [the Nationals] should get the Astros' 2017 World Series because they beat the team that [was cheating]. They acquire the Astros' cheating World Series because they beat them while they're—the only team that has ever beaten the cheating Astros in a World Series is the Washington Nationals.

The Dodgers trading for David Price is just trading for a bigger choker than Clayton Kershaw

They literally traded for a bigger choker in David Price. ... the chances are David Price will probably choke before Clayton [Kershaw] does. They're going to be choking each other. It's going to be some real kinky shit.

The Chicago Cubs should be retroactively awarded the 2017 World Series because of the Astros and Dodgers cheating scandals

The other thing they should do is retroactively give the Cubs a 2017 World Series. So back-to-back, no big deal. We lost to the Dodgers and the Dodgers lost to the Astros. Cheaters, cheaters, cheaters. Just do the right thing.

Alex Cora should get a lifetime ban just because it sounds 'juicy'

Alex Cora, I'm not in favor of a lifetime ban, but I am in favor of hearing the term lifetime ban. Oh, yeah. Definitely. It's awesome hearing Alex Cora has been issued a lifetime ban from baseball. Like I don't think that he deserves it and what I deserve to hear that... there's nothing more satisfying than just like when you read the words lifetime bans.