Takes

Small ball needs to come back to baseball

There's they need to bring back small ball. Nobody's playing small ball anymore. I sound like my grandfather... You get on first base, it's easy to steal second base. You get a seeing-eye single here and there, bring that shit back. Small ball wins. That's what it's all about. You got to zig while everybody else zags. No more bunts.

I love Joe West because he thinks he is bigger than baseball

If you can't find the humor in Joe West stopping the game, telephoning up and kicking the GM from the suite out of the game, you got a fucking dump in your pants. ... I'm in favor of Joe West doing whatever the fuck he wants. In fact, I think Joe West has got a little soft in his old age. ... I would like to see more Joe West involved in these games.

Mystery teams in MLB trade rumors are never actually real

I don't think these mystery teams ever real. Swooping in last-second franchise mode... I guess the mystery team is now the front-runner.

Rob Manfred has been a total debacle in handling MLB's return

Rob Manfred being like I'm gonna threaten you guys if you don't start following the rules, we're going to cancel the league... he just has to be Rob Manfred has to go to bed every single night... he pulls out his Roger Goodell voodoo doll and starts poking it with pins being like, please fuck this up Goodell, please fuck this up because if you fuck this up, no one will give a shit.

Mets GM Brodie Van Wagenen intentionally leaked that Yoenis Cespedes was missing to spite him

He knew that Cespedes packed up his shit and left because he was opting out but he used to be Cespedes's Agent and so he's pissed that Yoenis ended up signing with Roc Nation. And so now he's like feeding all this shit into the media... first thought if somebody just ditches the Mets you don't immediately suspect that they're dead.

Dr. Fauci's first pitch was almost good because of how terrible it was

I actually think first pitches either be terrible or be incredible. I don't think Dr. Fauci had incredible in him. Might as well just go terrible. It was almost good how bad it was.

Scott Boras effectively runs the MLB players' union

He [Scott Boras] can plead ignorance all he wants... he makes all sorts of ridiculous claims about... it doesn't matter which agency you're actually with, I run the union [MLBPA] anyways, you're going to have to deal with me.

I am a better pitcher than Curt Schilling was through age 28

I find it really fun to just position a position where like you're [Curt Schilling] either worse than me or you have to admit that advanced stuff matters. I'm better than him with certain regular stats at this point in my career through 28 years old.

Taking deferred money like Bobby Bonilla is a better deal than a lump sum payment.

Bobby Bonilla has an awesome contract... the more MLB TV rights deals start to come in, the more you're seeing players push off and say, 'yeah, I'll take some deferred money coming down the line.' It's a good deal. It's like when that scratch-off 'Millions for Life' or whatever it is... I would absolutely take a deal like that instead of giving me all the money straight up.

The new Rangers stadium looks like a cheap Home Depot shed

it looks like a cheap shed that you buy at Home Depot to like keep your garbage cans so that the raccoons don't get it... it looks like a toolbox that you would see in the back of your most sunburned neighbors truck.

Hitting a baseball is the hardest single thing to do in all of sports

Hitting a round ball going a hundred miles an hour feels like it's harder than hitting a tennis ball with the racket. You always hear... the hardest thing to do in sports is to hit a baseball. I've heard it enough that I believe it.

Barry Bonds is the greatest baseball player of all time, regardless of steroids

Barry Bonds is the best baseball player of all time. I have no problems on fine without I don't care if you want to throw in steroids, whatever you want to say that you can't erase that you can't take that away that he was... the best baseball player of all time 100%.

George W. Bush should have been the Commissioner of Baseball

There was a writer who suggested that they bring George W. Bush back to be the commissioner of baseball, which I think should have been his job from the get-go. He should have never gotten the ball. He should have just he would have dominated being a commissioner of baseball. There have been no fucking tie in an All-Star Game, there have been no lockout if George W. Bush was commish.

Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Roger Clemens should all be in the Hall of Fame

Everyone was doing it one, you can't tell me that Barry Bonds isn't a fucking Hall of Famer or Sammy Sosa isn't a fucking Hall of Famer, Roger [Clemens]—like all these guys should be in the Hall of Fame.

For many players, using steroids was simply a 'business decision'

This is a business decision and you've got to—you got to—you got to think about a few things here... am I okay with being able to look the man in the mirror... look my friends, family, fans, whatever. Can I look them in the eye and be okay with making that decision? And if at the end of the day, you can check all three of those boxes, that's a business decision regardless of who's in front of you.

A 50-game MLB season is too short to weed out the bad teams

I think 50 would be exciting, but it also would be maddening to watch a team... 50 games is tough. 70-80, I think you can weed out. You'll still have a couple teams where you can point to and say there's no way they would have lasted an entire season.

MLB players are right to stand by their collectively bargained contracts

I don't expect you to have pity for the players. This isn't about pity, but it's still about right and wrong. And if we have a contract and the contract has been collectively bargained... All right. Well, I already gave you half of it back [for games not played], and now I'm going to go honor my contract, and you want me to take half less again. Well, that's bullshit.

The Milwaukee Brewers logo is the best in sports because of the hidden 'MB'

My favorite logo and all sports is though. It's a little bit more complicated the Brewers logo... It's got the middle. In there. Yeah. It's got the letters m and b hmm that blew my mind.

The Houston Astros robbed the Yankees of a World Series title

I know that my Yankees got robbed. Then there's probably a lot of other teams that got robbed right? I mean, it's out there... Altuve got MVP when it should have been Judge. Yes extra Stripes. Yeah, I mean there's a lot of things that people have to you know, they've lost focus on.

Pete Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame

I still go back to the Pete Rose, you know saying I know it was he wrong? Yes, but how is he not? You know saying in in the Hall of Fame, right?

Aaron Judge hasn't earned his Yankee Pinstripes yet because he hasn't won a World Series

He hasn't played a game [with Pinstripes]... he should have won a championship... You have to win a World Series [to earn them].

Jose Altuve's 'unfinished tattoo' excuse for not wanting his jersey ripped off is a cover for steroid-induced back acne.

No, it wasn't a tattoo. I was just embarrassed because I had a ton of bacne from all the steroids I was taking. Reframe the conversation. Type of cheating... the cheating that's allowed.

The Phillie Phanatic is the best mascot in sports

Phillie fanatic... is hands down the best mascot in sports. I love him... I met him out of his suit in Clearwater at spring training... Respect.

Kent Sterling's take on Cubs fans being 'sluggish' for getting hit by foul balls is trash

Chicago Cubs will protect fans too stupid or sluggish to avoid foul balls by extending nets... This guy sucks. This guy is trash... He basically saying he wrote this entire article to brag that parents are capable of protecting kids because he did it once.

The Baseball Hall of Fame is erroneous without Barry Bonds

The fact that Barry Bonds isn't in the Hall of Fame makes the Hall of Fame completely erroneous to me. Or Roger Clemens. Barry Bonds is the best baseball player of all time. He should be in the Hall of Fame.

Smashing televisions should be a top responsibility for a baseball manager

My favorite part of the story is that AJ Hinch not once but twice smash the TVs that Alex Cora was using to help cheat... I don't know what your job duties are as a manager, but I'm pretty sure that smashing televisions should be pretty high up on that list.

Pitchers should be required to finish the entire inning they enter

I actually think they should go one further and a pitcher gets in the game and they have to finish the inning. Because it would be so funny watching a pitcher just die out there and give up a million home runs.

The Astros scandal makes the Nationals' 2019 World Series win more impressive

This makes the Nationals world series title even more impressive. Yeah the fact that they were able to beat him. While they're eating Cheetos... 60% of the Astros runs were scored in the first inning before the Nationals would change how they were doing their signs.

Max Scherzer is the pitcher of the decade over Clayton Kershaw

Does this mean that Max Scherzer is the picture of the decade? ... everyone says Clayton Kershaw is the picture of the decade now Max Scherzer has a World Series. He has just click resize Young's his 3 Cy Young's... I would say picture of the decade Max Scherzer.

The World Series trophy is the worst of the four major sports trophies

Where does World Series trophy Sam Smith? Yes agreed. It sucks. Something's going to break a tiny pieces of chicken meat on it's awful... It looks like the World Series trophy was built just to break it.

Dave Martinez's ejection in Game 6 was a legendary move and good for the team

The hero of the night is Dave Martinez. Trying to fight an Umpire with a bad ticker... he went full fucking aggro rageaholic on the omps and I loved every second of it. That's a manager who you want to play for.

Hiring David Ross to manage the Cubs is a great idea

My stardom is David Ross. When would it ever be a bad idea to hire everyone's best friend to be the manager and boss? That's not going to be bad at all.

Only the reigning World Series champions should be allowed to wear pinstripes

Pinstripes have become too prominent in baseball. Nine teams wear pinstripes and it sucks... Only the team that wins the World Series gets pinstripes for the entire next year. You have to beat the man to be the man and get the stripes.

The Yankees would be an easier World Series matchup for the Nationals than the Astros

I'm rooting for whoever makes it easier for the Nationals. ... That would probably be the Yankees, to be honest. I would rather see the Yankees.

The Chicago Cubs are the most maddening and frustrating team I've ever watched

My fire fest is the Chicago cups. They're the most maddening team, frustrating team I've ever watched. They just want to toy with everyone's hearts and they win one game, lose one game, lose two games. Don't score for a week. Then they look awesome... I am at the point where I'm just I don't even know what I want anymore.

MLB general managers should be fired if they ever miss the playoffs

If you're not going to make the playoffs... you're only as good as this year, though, and they're not going to make the playoffs. If you can't make it... you've got to go. If you ever miss the playoffs, you should be fired.

Regional Little League World Series games are more exciting than the actual World Series in Williamsport

I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but the regional part of it before the actual Little League World Series is almost more exciting because... the America versus America, like Kentucky, Iowa versus Minnesota, those games are electric.

MLB's black and white jerseys are heinous but a genius marketing move

Way to stay relevant baseball. It's Players Weekend, and they have the new jerseys... This year... Straight black and white. I actually think this is a genius move by baseball. They're heinous, the jerseys. But genius move to get everyone to talk about them.

Trevor Bauer is a 'dumb smart person' whose antics are good for baseball

Trevor Bauer... he's a dumb, smart person. ... I think that he might be exactly what baseball needs. We always talk about baseball. We don't have a face of the game. Lean into marketing this dumbass. ... Baseball hasn't really had an asshole for a long time.

David Ross would be a great manager because modern baseball is about clubhouse management over X's and O's

I think the way that the manager position in baseball has moved to now, it's less about the X's and O's... It's a lot more about keeping a clubhouse together... and I think David Ross would be great at that aspect.

Edwin Encarnacion hasn't earned his Yankees pinstripes yet because the team lost the game where he hit two home runs

Newly acquired Yankees, Edwin Encarnacion... He had two home runs and the MLB tweeted out that the parrot has earned his pinstripes. But they lost the game, and then home runs meant nothing. You can't earn your pinstripes until you stop getting paid from your former employer.

The only thing that ruins baseball is when the game ends in a tie

The only thing that ruins baseball is when the game ends in a tie. Right. And we're not doing that anymore.

The MLB draft system is essentially a servitude that hurts the sport

The common theme was you get what the guy got last year, and if you don't accept it, you're greedy... So it basically turned into a servitude. And I really felt that was not good for the game because I felt we're going to lose the great athletes to other sports.

Long-term baseball contracts are actually deferment portals for the player's true value

Long-term contracts are... for the true value of the player in the short term being a deferment portal for those values that you didn't pay up front in the future years. For example, a player is worth $80 million a year... they pay him $32 million over 10 years. And then we have the public complaining that the last four years he didn't earn the $32 million when they forgot that he was worth $80 million the first four.

Baseball needs 'old school' guys like Madison Bumgarner to keep the ecosystem balanced

Madison Baumgartner is one of the last guys that we need in this league because he is an anti-bat flipper, anti-pimp your home run. Goose Gossage is actually very important. He's like a beaver for the ecosystem. If you don't have someone yelling about bat flips... then we're all on Twitter being like, bat flips are awesome. Fuck the old guys. It's like, dude, you're talking about no one now.

The New York Yankees' no-beard policy is the dumbest rule in all of sports

[The New York Yankees' no-beard policy] is the dumbest rule in all sports. What happens if [Dallas Keuchel] signed? I would love to see Scott Boras right now if he finds out that Keuchel already gave away the beard in the negotiation for free.

RBIs are the most important and only truly meaningful stat in baseball

RBIs are actually the most important stat when you actually look at it... The team who has the most RBIs... I'm not even counting runs anymore.

St. Louis Cardinals fans have been pieces of shit forever

The St. Louis-Chicago rivalry, St. Louis Cardinals fans have been pieces of shit forever with the way they treat Cubs. Best fans in baseball. Careful. Anyone who's listening right now is a Cardinals fan. They'll admit this. They made all the jokes. They said the Cubs would never win one.

Modern baseball players lifting heavy weights leads to more oblique and muscle injuries compared to the past.

Aaron Judge, someone wrote an article that said it's because they lift too many weights... Baseball players look like linebackers... I personally [think it has something to do with higher injury], yeah, with all the obliques and stuff like that.

If modern teams used the defensive shift against George Brett, he would have hit .450.

If they put the shift on me, I'm not bullshitting you. I'd hit 450. Because I could hit a ground ball to the shortstop or third baseman whenever I wanted... I stood far enough off the plate that it didn't matter.