Takes

Brian Kelly's tenure at LSU will probably blow up due to the bad culture fit

I'm super excited for Brian Kelly in Baton Rouge because it's such a bad culture fit, obviously. So it's going to probably blow up. Now. He can either win really quickly and he should, because if he doesn't, it's going to get bad and it's going to get bad really fast. And it can be very funny to watch like Brian Kelly pretending to be a southerner.

Cincinnati can give Alabama a good game in the playoffs because of their secondary

I'm actually already going to do it again because I actually think Cincinnati could give Alabama a good game because their secondary is that fucking good. And they have a quarterback that is like, just doesn't let anyone catch anything.

The NFL should expand the playoffs to 12 teams immediately

That's why we should expand the playoff. And guess who's the only one to blame for not explaining the playoff. Oh yeah. That's ACC... make it 12.

Arch Manning is less likely to be a bust because he has actually lost games in high school

Is he a bust? Is Arch Manning a bust... To have the discussion. No, because he's lost in high school, which I think is important for a quarterback's progression... I know guys who don't lose in high school, they don't pan out.

Coach Ed Orgeron will return as a 'full-time interim coach' for hire

Next time any program needs an interim head coach, he should be interim for hire. He should be a full-time interim coach.

Florida QB Anthony Richardson is Cam Newton 2.0 and a 2022 Heisman candidate

Florida's quarterback that they put in second [Anthony Richardson] is Cam Newton 2.0, yes. He's on my big board for Heisman next year.

Beating Alabama in the SEC is as meaningful as winning a national title

Beating Alabama, if you're in the SEC, if you beat Alabama, that's almost as good as winning a national title in terms of like, you'd be like, well, we beat Alabama a couple years ago.

Rutgers football is officially back

Rutgers football's back... back all the way. Greg Schiano, they've got a big test against Michigan this week. Birthplace of college football.

Coaches like Brian Harsin worrying about elevators is exactly why Nick Saban continues to dominate college football

Every time we hear something like this [Brian Harsin banning elevators], it makes you realize why Nick Saban just keeps kicking everyone's teeth in. Cause these guys are worrying about elevators and stairs and Nick Saban is just rolling out five star recruits... and just demolishing people.

The targeting rule should be changed so the opposing coach chooses between 3 points or an ejection

I actually threw out Mike Greenberg's dumb rules. It should be. If you, if a guy gets called for targeting, the coach gets to decide either give the other team three points or you get to give the other team three points and he can stay in or he's objected. I like that.

Northwestern fans need to stop pretending to be a scrappy underdog and act like a good football program.

I just cannot stand Northwestern fans... You can't do the, we're the little engine that could. We're the scrappy underdog. No one cares about Northwestern... Stop pretending like every win is like, oh, my God, we fucking... shock the world and we beat you. You won the Big Ten West two years ago.

If the Maryland football team beats Michigan, they are officially respected in the Big Ten.

I am officially saying that if Maryland beats Michigan, they're into the Big Ten in football.

The Jim Harbaugh era at Michigan is officially over

The knives are back out for Jim Harbaugh... I just all I'm saying is I think it's over. I really do. 24 and a half Point favorites against Michigan State... and they lose like that... I think this is actually might be close to the end for Harbaugh.

Rutgers is officially back and will be bowl eligible this season

Rutgers is back. Rutgers got a big win. They are bowl eligible. I kind of told everyone... that was going to happen. I'm a believer in this 'shadow man' [Greg Schiano]... Rutgers will hit the season over.

College coaches who claim they don't know what's happening in their programs are lying

Every coach that has ever coached in college basketball or football is the biggest control freak you've ever met. They know everything. They know everything that goes on. Everything that goes on on campus, no matter what.

The Miami Hurricanes are officially back because of Ed Reed and the Super Bowl

Either way, the U's back. Danny Boy Cane's got them covered... Recruits see that night game at Hard Rock Cafe Stadium in Miami Gardens, and they think the U might be back.

Lane Kiffin will eventually coach at Alabama

He is he's gonna end up being like the coach of, Alabama... This is it feels like this is his second to last spot... he's very clearly looking at something else and I think that something else is Alabama.

Michigan football is a myth that is not on the same level as Ohio State or Alabama.

I'm actually kind of agree just because the Michigan myth is one of the greatest myths going in all of college sports. They have won half a national title in the last 60 years. And they make you think that they matter and that they're on the level of Alabama and USC and Ohio State and Clemson even now. ... realistic Michigan fans probably were like... We aren't going to get better.

Michigan will beat Ohio State

I think Michigan will beat Ohio State. I'm not going to say they are going to beat Ohio State... I think it's going to be a more competitive game than people thought a month ago.

Urban Meyer is the leading rumor for the Florida State job

Coaching search season is back because Willie Taggart got the axe at Florida State and now people are speculating that they're going to throw a bag at Urban Meyer, who's waiting only for the USC job or the Notre Dame job to open up.

Oklahoma will make the College Football Playoff over Ohio State

Oklahoma will go in over Ohio State. Especially because you have... if they beat Texas in the Big 12 championship game, their loss to Texas basically doesn't count anymore.

Ohio State is a better football team than Oklahoma, but Oklahoma would win a head-to-head game.

Ohio State is a better football team than Oklahoma, but Oklahoma would beat Ohio State head-to-head... Ohio State actually plays defense. Oklahoma doesn't. But if Oklahoma played Ohio State, Oklahoma would absolutely shred them apart because Ohio State's one biggest weakness is the big plays.

Urban Meyer doesn't actually want to make the College Football Playoff because he's afraid of Nick Saban.

I actually think Urban Meyer doesn't want to go to the college football playoff. Because if you remember, Nick Saban basically forced him to have a heart attack. He made Tim Tebow cry. Nick Saban made God cry and gave Urban Meyer a heart attack. There's no way he wants to do that again.

Clemson is the one team that can actually beat Alabama.

I am getting back on my take from earlier that I think that Clemson could beat Alabama. I really think they could. I think Dabo... Dabo is as close to Nick Saban as this next generation of coaches is going to get.

Kyler Murray should win the Heisman Trophy over Tua Tagovailoa because his efficiency metrics are better.

If you want another take that you want to throw out there... Kyler Murray for Heisman. And then everyone says, but Tua didn't play fourth quarters. And you say, well, if you take away Kyler Murray's fourth quarters, he still has better numbers than Tua. Boom.

Jeff Brohm is going to leave Purdue to become the head coach at Louisville.

Jeff Braum has done just enough statements being like, 'I want to be at Purdue' for me to say, yeah, okay, you're going to be Louisville's head coach in like a month. It's the classic college coach. If a college coach does a press conference and says, 'I want to be here,' we get it, dude.

Louisville is no longer fun without Pitino and Petrino

I wish they didn't fire Pitino and Petrino, because now I feel like Louisville's just not going to be as fun anymore. They went from the horniest campus in America to now just a really boring campus.

Tom Herman's complaints about Will Grier's celebration are hypocritical given his own past behavior

If you remember just a year ago when they were in a bowl game against Missouri and [Herman] was mocking Drew Lock in his gun salute, he was basically showing up the other team. And then when he loses, he's crying to the media and saying that Will Grier was unfair.

Urban Meyer can't get his team ready for inferior opponents

Urban Meyer's sad faces on the sideline because Ohio State lost a game that they should have won... people are saying, not me, people are saying, Urban Meyer, can he get his team ready for the inferior opponents? I don't know... but this is now becoming a trend for Urban Meyer.

Wisconsin is out of the national title race after losing to BYU

The one redeeming quality about Wisconsin Badger football fans is we are realists to a fault. I never, we're not, we're out of the national, you know. It's not going to happen. We could win every game and it still wouldn't happen. You can't lose as 23 and a half point favorites.

I will not believe Texas football is 'back' until they win a meaningful bowl game

I am firmly in the camp of I will not listen to any Texas who's back until they actually play in a meaningful bowl game... I feel like Texas every year, they're back, and they're going to go 7-5.

Nick Saban stays on top because he has a factory where he personally shits out new players

I think Nick Saban personally shits players out. Because he chews them out in practice, and then he digests them for a while, and he takes a crap, and boom, I got a linebacker. ... I'd be like, yes, Nick Saban has a factory where he shits players out.

Nick Saban and Bob Stoops are the ultimate football guys for ignoring a robbery while drawing up plays

They're so invested in making their points that they don't notice when a man walks into the bar with a shotgun and robs the place. So they were out having drinks, diagramming football plays, and they were completely oblivious to a dude robbing the bar with a gun. That is an ultimate football guy story.

Urban Meyer's defense in the Zach Smith scandal is just 'passing the buck' to Gene Smith

Urban Meyer has figured out his defense, and it is kind of what we all expected. He released a statement... and he basically went with the, I have always followed proper reporting protocols... Gene Smith, you are pretty much fucked and Urban Meyer's just gonna say yeah he told everyone and it's your fault for not doing anything.

The Big Ten won the bowl season

The first one is... the Big Ten. Won the bowl season. Many people are saying the Big Ten won the bowl season. Seven and one in bowls. And dominated, just dominated everyone.

Wisconsin will beat Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship

I think Wisconsin could beat Ohio State. I really do. Halftime of the Michigan game, I was like, oh, fuck, but Wisconsin put it on them in the second half, and I was like, this defense can play with – hey, defense travels.

I want Wisconsin to play Alabama in the college football playoffs

We want Bama, baby. We want fucking Bama. I'm saying it right now. I want Bama.

The Miami Hurricanes are officially back

As a team, Miami is officially, officially back. Now, Hank said it last week. The U. But they are now back.

Wisconsin is only in the playoff hunt to eventually lose to Ohio State by 40

There's just a fat, slow lineman up north that's just like, hey, guys, can I come in? That's Wisconsin just waiting to get in. Waiting to lose to Ohio State by 40 with me in attendance.

The Miami Hurricanes are officially back

The U is back. They had the black jerseys, which was just unreal. Dominated Virginia Tech. And the fans... there was multiple incidents of fans fighting police, fans fighting each other. Police fighting fans. That's back. The U's got all their swagger back.

Lane Kiffin definitely knows the spread and plays to it

I've said this for many years, that Lane Kiffin is one of the only coaches that I will put my fucking life on it, that he knows the spread and plays to the spread. He used to do it at Tennessee, too, where he would go for two in random spots. I know Lane Kiffin knows the spread.

College football is more fun when Notre Dame is good

Notre Dame is back. And it's going to be fun. It's going to be fun to watch Notre Dame get their hopes all the way up. College football is significantly more fun when Notre Dame is back.

The Miami Hurricanes are back big time

My Who's Back of the Week, first of all, is a no-brainer. It's the U. The U's back big time.

Coach Ed Orgeron was never on the hot seat at LSU

I'm staying resolute in my support of Coach O. I don't think he was ever on the hot seat. Don't think he's ever going to be on the hot seat.

Alabama's second string could win the SEC

Alabama debates are back... could Alabama's second team win the SEC? Because they're deep. Real deep... the Hawaiian quarterback [Tua Tagovailoa], the second string, it would be unbelievable.

Iowa and Wisconsin football programs exist solely to have their hearts ripped out in moments of hope

Iowa and Wisconsin are both very similar in college but they just live to get crushed. It's like there's just moments in between getting your heart ripped out. So there's no real, like, excitement otherwise.

Sam Darnold isn't actually good, he just throws 'good looking' interceptions

I also have a theory that I'm working on that Sam Darnold's not actually good, but his interceptions look good. So even when he makes a bad play, you're like, this guy's good.

The discussion of Texas being 'back' means the program is officially back

Texas football, just the discussion of it being back, means it's back. Because that's what Texas football has become. It's like Texas, Notre Dame, Michigan... certain programs where if they have one good game [we ask] is Florida back? Tennessee... Miami.

Florida's passing game has been so bad that Tim Tebow is their best passer of the last decade

The best passing quarterback that Florida has had in the last 10 years is Tim Tebow.

Ole Miss will return to sucking at football now that they can't cheat under Hugh Freeze

Hugh Freeze is out, and it looks like Ole Miss is going to have to start playing it above the board here. No more cheating. So they're going to suck at football again.