Takes

Wisconsin is out of the national title race after losing to BYU

The one redeeming quality about Wisconsin Badger football fans is we are realists to a fault. I never, we're not, we're out of the national, you know. It's not going to happen. We could win every game and it still wouldn't happen. You can't lose as 23 and a half point favorites.

I will not believe Texas football is 'back' until they win a meaningful bowl game

I am firmly in the camp of I will not listen to any Texas who's back until they actually play in a meaningful bowl game... I feel like Texas every year, they're back, and they're going to go 7-5.

Nick Saban stays on top because he has a factory where he personally shits out new players

I think Nick Saban personally shits players out. Because he chews them out in practice, and then he digests them for a while, and he takes a crap, and boom, I got a linebacker. ... I'd be like, yes, Nick Saban has a factory where he shits players out.

Urban Meyer's defense in the Zach Smith scandal is just 'passing the buck' to Gene Smith

Urban Meyer has figured out his defense, and it is kind of what we all expected. He released a statement... and he basically went with the, I have always followed proper reporting protocols... Gene Smith, you are pretty much fucked and Urban Meyer's just gonna say yeah he told everyone and it's your fault for not doing anything.

The Big Ten won the bowl season

The first one is... the Big Ten. Won the bowl season. Many people are saying the Big Ten won the bowl season. Seven and one in bowls. And dominated, just dominated everyone.

Wisconsin will beat Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship

I think Wisconsin could beat Ohio State. I really do. Halftime of the Michigan game, I was like, oh, fuck, but Wisconsin put it on them in the second half, and I was like, this defense can play with... hey, defense travels. I'm there. I'm going to enjoy these next two weeks where I'm like, it's just one game to get to the playoffs.

The Miami Hurricanes are officially back

As a team, Miami is officially, officially back. Now, Hank said it last week. The U. But they are now back.

Wisconsin is only in the playoff hunt to eventually lose to Ohio State by 40

There's just a fat, slow lineman up north that's just like, hey, guys, can I come in? That's Wisconsin just waiting to get in. Waiting to lose to Ohio State by 40 with me in attendance.

Lane Kiffin definitely knows the spread and plays to it

I've said this for many years, that Lane Kiffin is one of the only coaches that I will put my fucking life on it, that he knows the spread and plays to the spread. He used to do it at Tennessee, too, where he would go for two in random spots. I know Lane Kiffin knows the spread.

College football is more fun when Notre Dame is good

Notre Dame is back. And it's going to be fun. It's going to be fun to watch Notre Dame get their hopes all the way up. College football is significantly more fun when Notre Dame is back.

The Miami Hurricanes are back big time

My Who's Back of the Week, first of all, is a no-brainer. It's the U. The U's back big time.

Coach Ed Orgeron was never on the hot seat at LSU

I'm staying resolute in my support of Coach O. I don't think he was ever on the hot seat. Don't think he's ever going to be on the hot seat.

Alabama's second string could win the SEC

Alabama debates are back... could Alabama's second team win the SEC? Because they're deep. Real deep... the Hawaiian quarterback [Tua Tagovailoa], the second string, it would be unbelievable.

Iowa and Wisconsin football programs only exist to have their hearts ripped out

Iowa and Wisconsin are both very similar in college but they just live to get crushed. It's like there's just moments in between getting your heart ripped out. So there's no real, like, excitement otherwise.

Sam Darnold isn't actually good, he just throws 'good looking' interceptions

I also have a theory that I'm working on that Sam Darnold's not actually good, but his interceptions look good. So even when he makes a bad play, you're like, this guy's good.

Florida's passing game has been so bad that Tim Tebow is their best passer of the last decade

The best passing quarterback that Florida has had in the last 10 years is Tim Tebow.

Chip Kelly will leave the San Francisco 49ers for the Oregon head coaching job.

So Chip Kelly rumors are back, and I think he's going to go to Oregon. Then again, he did say he's not interested in it, and as we know, as Nick Saban proved to us... if a coach in the NFL says they're not going to college, that means they're not going to college.

Oregon will be back on top of college football in four years when Chip Kelly returns

I'm going to call my shot. I'm going to say Oregon's going to win. If we can do like four years to call who's back, in four years Oregon's going to be back to being back. ... When they get Chip Kelly back, right?

The Miami Hurricanes are officially 'back'

The U is back. Of Miami. Okay. The U is back. They have three huge wins against Florida A&M, Florida Atlantic, and Appalachian State. So 3-0 to start the season. I think they're definitely back.

Texas is back

I'm going to ask the question right now. Is Texas back? Texas is back. I think Texas is back. I mean, it was a statement win. Charlie Strong, he needed a statement win, right? Now he's back.

Wisconsin is the mediocre pushover neighbor of college football

Wisconsin's never back. They're never gone. They're just there. We literally are just like the neighbor who you can be like, hey, can I borrow your lawnmower and just not give it back for three months? And you know he's never going to come ask. It's a total pushover.

Notre Dame is heading in the wrong direction

If you had to describe Notre Dame for the last seven years, it's perfectly this. Are they back? Question mark. They've been almost back, sort of back, never fully back. But I think now they're going the wrong direction. Now they're set back.