Takes

Tom Brady could still throw for 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns in the NFL right now

Tom Brady... It's football. They had the flag football event this past weekend. Tom Brady played in it. I mean, he could go out next year in the league and probably get 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns.

The Buccaneers will beat the Lions in Detroit next week.

Early prediction for the game without them playing any plays is gonna be Buccaneers win in Detroit.

Aaron Rodgers will announce his signing with the Steelers on Pat McAfee's live show

The theory is that Aaron Rodgers is waiting for [Pat McAfee's Pittsburgh show] to come out on stage and say I'm going to be a Pittsburgh Steeler to fuck over the mainstream media. Which I would love. That would be awesome... I kind of like every now and then a player stealing it from the insiders and being like, I control my own message.

JJ Watt will come out of retirement to play for the Cincinnati Bengals

JJ Watt is back. He is probably going to come out of retirement to play for the Bengals... I'm rooting for that to happen. I think he would be able to do it.

Mike Vrabel is a fraud who relied on Prime Derrick Henry

Mike Vrabel is proof that one smart clock management moment in a nationally televised game buys you five to 10 years of NFL media thinking you're a great coach... Prime Derrick Henry is not walking through the Patriots door... He was a Derrick Henry merchant.

The Ravens will win the Super Bowl

I see a play like that. I'm like, Raven Super Bowl. Yes I have. I have the Ravens for the Super Bowl. I've bought into the hype. It won't burn me at all.

There is a 25% chance Dan Snyder does not sell the Commanders

I'm realizing that there's probably like a 25% possibility that he does stick around for the rest of my life. Owns the team... and I'll probably die before he does.

The Green Bay Packers are in trouble because Jordan Love is a moron.

Jordan Love posted a video today... he said Happy Father's Day to all Bears fans out there. Jordan Love is a fucking moron. So Jordan love basically called Bears fans his dad. And it was like the first moment that I've had in a very long time where I was like, Ooh, I think things might be changing... The Packers are in trouble.

The Cowboys will pretend to be in on DeAndre Hopkins before he signs with the Bills

I bet you the Cowboys are going to make their fans believe that they're in the Hopkins running until like the very last second and then he is gonna sound with the bills.

The NFL season opener will be either Eagles vs. Jets or Chiefs vs. Cowboys.

I think I'm gonna put my pin in this one. I think it's gonna be the Eagles and the Jets to start the season. Either that or Chiefs Cowboys.

Aaron Rodgers and Zach Wilson being in the same room will fix Wilson's career

Aaron Rodgers... he might be the one guy that's able to fix what are the fuck's happening in Zach Wilson... Aaron Rodgers and Zach Wilson being in the same quarterback room is going to actually help... At least they do Ayahuasca together.

Aaron Rodgers is returning to the Green Bay Packers for the upcoming season

Leroy's first report... Aaron Rodgers is returning to the Green Bay Packers. Fuck. For the upcoming season.

The Eagles will win Super Bowl LVII

I mean regardless... I mean you guys [Eagles] are gonna win.

The Q-collar technology causes players to make bad on-field decisions

Dalton Schultz today was wearing a... Q-collar. It's supposed to help protect the brain from injury... I have a theory. This technology... it's supposed to constrict certain blood vessels going to your brain... I think these guys are just lightheaded. And it's just, he had a bird brain.

Tom Brady will win Gisele back by winning another Super Bowl

I think you have to take the Bucs for the season because if we know anything about Tom Brady, he's like, I'm gonna win her back by winning another Super Bowl.

Josh Rosen is putting up terrible stats on purpose as a bit

Josh Rosen... is on the Browns and in classic Josh Rosen fashion, he got in for, I think an entire half. He went seven for 20, for 88 yards. No TDs, no interceptions. I, he has to be doing this on purpose at this point. His stat lines are just so, so predictably exactly what they are every single time... It's a good bit. It really is.

Baker Mayfield will have no choice but to play for the Browns this season

I want to see baker have to play for the Browns this year. I don't think he will. I would be. I don't think he has a choice. I don't know. He's not gonna play football maybe. No. And he would come off looking very soft. If that happened. If he was like, I refuse to play football for you. Cause you were mean to me. No chance he'll play.

The world will end before Dan Snyder sells the Commanders

The fucking world ends before Dan Snyder sells the team. I'm going to, I'm going to take myself out back here.

Drew Brees is going to return to the NFL

Drew Brees... he could be returning to football. He could go back to NBC... usually when someone ends up, they're coming back to play, they're probably going to come back.

Jerod Mayo's head coaching stock is damaged because the Patriots' defense gave up 47 points to the Bills

Jerod Mayo's fucked with his interviews now. Imagine being... he's got some interviews this week. That's going to be a tough one to walk into and be like, 'Hey, you just gave up 47 points'. It's not a good look for him.

San Diego State punter Matt Araiza should be a first-round pick

Someone should draft [Matt Araiza] in the first round. ... If he can punt like this all the time, it actually is an incredible game changer. ... You think that if the Patriots took him... that's the perfect end of first round draft pick.

Sam Ehlinger would have beaten out Trevor Lawrence for the starting job if not for his injury

Unfortunately, Sam Ehlinger is out with a tweaked ACL... The Sam Ehlinger beating out Trevor Lawrence prediction has not come yet for now.

The 'Kelsey' vs 'Kelce' pronunciation controversy is actually a secret ad deal or sponsorship stunt

I actually think that this is it's bullshit. Something to me, smells like there's an ad deal out there... I haven't figured out exactly what it is yet. But you have, you have two brothers that have been in the NFL. Are they going to open a bar? Maybe, maybe. Like Hell's Bells or something like that. So they've been in the league for, so both of them playing at a very high level... I smell either a Kimmel incident or I smell and some sort of sponsorship lingering under the surface.

The Browns will win exactly 11 games in the 2021 season

I'm thinking 11 wins, regular season, nothing crazy.

Tim Tebow was signed by Urban Meyer purely to act as a heat shield for Trevor Lawrence

I'm also just a huge fan of the narrative that [Urban Meyer] brought in Tebow just to take off heat off Trevor Lawrence... Tebow is just going to be too much of a natural leader and take all the heat, including from the players, off Trevor Lawrence.

Roger Goodell has solved CTE; that shit is in the past

Let's be honest. Roger Goodell has solved CTE. That shit is in the past. He figured that whole thing out, figured out a way for us to all just stop talking about concussions again.

Cam Newton isn't fully healthy because he didn't swing on the heckling kid

That's actually what's telling me that Cam Newton isn't healthy. Because if he was, he should have just swung on the kid. Where somebody's being that disrespectful... Cam, you should be able to defend yourself.

The Vince Lombardi Trophy should be renamed the Tom Brady Trophy

Vince Lombardi only won one. You're so greedy, Hank. It's true. He won one trophy. He won one Vince Lombardi trophy. Tom Brady's won seven. Like, come on. ... It's a crime that the championship trophy isn't named after Tom Brady.

Tony Romo faked having COVID-19 just to avoid traveling to Ohio.

Tony Romo conveniently came down with the coronavirus to avoid traveling to Ohio, which he hates to do.

I'm rooting for Mitch Trubisky because 2020 needs a cool story

It's bullshit that anyone is sitting here and rooting against Mitch Trubisky. ... 2020 sucks, root for something crazy. Mitch Trubisky 2020. ... I'm ready and I have a little perspective for you from coach Matt Nagy... we're going to all support around him and give him every opportunity to have a very happy ending.

I'll gamble on Nathan Peterman winning a Super Bowl

There's a chance we see another Nathan Peterman. You want to get real fucking crazy with 2020? Get a Nathan Peterman tattoo. ... I'll gamble on Nathan Peterman winning a Super Bowl.

Jimmy Graham and Cole Kmet will be a dynamic duo for the Bears

Everyone knows [Jimmy Graham] is an elite blocker... they got Cole Kmet and Jimmy Graham. Dynamic duo. If we just get half of their production from last year, we're going to be great.

Bill Belichick will sign Earl Thomas to replace Patrick Chung

Maybe this belcheck move. Maybe Belichick picks him up. They lost Patrick Chung for the year. They get real Thomas as like an impact veteran that everybody else has given up on

Alex Smith looks like he still can't play football despite being cleared

He doesn't look like he can play football. His leg. I think I could play football better than he could play football. I don't he couldn't he couldn't avoid the rush of his five-year-old spraying like Dasani on them and then they put out pictures of his leg and it's like to see turbine not well his leg is in basically a Forever cast right now.

I'm unloading on Mitchell Trubisky whenever the game temperature is exactly 66 degrees

Mr. Trubisky has by far the highest quarterback rating in the NFL when it's exactly 66 degrees... I'm absolutely going to open up my weather app every single Sunday morning. And if it's 66, I'm unloading on Mitchell Trubisky.

Swag Kelly is the second-fastest quarterback in the NFL

Swag Kelly thinks he's the second fastest quarterback in the NFL, which I agree with... I think he's going to be like a sleeper that's just going to come out of nowhere and get thrown into a game.

The Patriots will face Tom Brady and the Buccaneers in the Super Bowl with Cam Newton starting

Cam Newton is going to be the starter. It's going to be electric. The Patriots are going to make the Super Bowl. It's going to be the Patriots and the [Bucs] and I'm going to be so excited.

The weirdness of Cam Newton signing with the Patriots makes me believe the 2020 NFL season won't actually happen

It just makes me think football is not going to happen. Yeah. There's yeah. That's my everything that we resolve world... man I bet you football is not going to happen.

The NFL has audio from the Miles Garrett/Mason Rudolph incident but is refusing to release it.

The NFL should just they have to have they've got out here. Now, they know they've got audio... I think the NFL had audio because you'll remember they have audio that they play like every Tuesday on Showtime... and their excuse was they have a guy who pushes a button to stop recording in between plays. That doesn't exist.

Tom Brady will return to the Patriots on a $30 million per year deal

He said he's not going anywhere in the advertisement, and then a report came out today that the Patriots are willing to pay him $30 million a year... I feel good about Brady coming back.

The Jets will be competitive against the Patriots on Monday Night Football

I think the Jets are going to be competitive tonight. Sam Darnold adds a little bit of pep in the step in the building... everyone's feeling a little more well rested.

Dan Snyder will offer Chip Kelly $50 million to coach the Redskins.

I'm not worried anymore about Jim Harbaugh corrupted by Dan Snyder because Snyder's definitely going to throw like 50 million dollars at Chip Kelly. That's a fact. That's how all this ends.

The Patriots will finish the season 18-1 with a Super Bowl victory

My official prediction was one random loss, like one fluke loss in the regular season. ... They could lose a regular season game and then go 18-1 [and win the Super Bowl].

Josh Gordon will be on the Patriots for the entire 2019 season

He's [been suspended] for zero weeks. [How many weeks will he be on the team?] All of them. [If he gets cut or leaves] Hank gets a cat.

Aaron Rodgers hates and despises Matt LaFleur

Aaron Rodgers, Matt LaFleur, not off to the best start. And I'm not making like a mountain out of a molehill. I think Aaron Rodgers hates Matt LaFleur. Despises him.

Aaron Rodgers chugging a beer poorly has cursed the Packers

Curses are back because ever since Aaron Rodgers didn't chug his beer, which we'll get to in segments, the Bucks didn't win another game and Matt LaFleur tore his Achilles and is going to be coaching out of a cart this spring. Aaron Rodgers cursed their team, 100%.

Kyler Murray is actually much shorter than his listed height

I actually do think that he's short. I think he's shorter than I am... He's like 5'6", 5'7", 5'8"... I do think that Kyler Murray is running away from his true self. I think that he's like 5'8".

The Raiders playing in a baseball stadium again in 2019 will be cool because of the wind and potential McCovey Cove punts

Oakland Raiders playing in baseball stadiums [is back]. You will get to see the Raiders play on dirt and grass for another year... it would be great if a punt or a field goal went into the bay... look out for wind. It's going to be windy there.

Aaron Rodgers is a system quarterback

Aaron Rodgers, uncoachable. I mean, look at his track record with backup quarterbacks. Aaron Rodgers is a system quarterback. Yes, exactly.

Roger Goodell is making kickers miss to justify getting rid of ties

We had a theory last year... that Roger Goodell was trying to save football or at least appear like he was the good guy by having all of his kickers miss these easy field goals so that he could come in and change the rules and get rid of ties altogether.