Takes

The US Open will be incredible because the LIV players will be shunned

I'm telling you, this US Open is going to be incredible. And they're only going to play because they can't play in the PGA Tour events. They're only going to play in the majors... How awesome would that be if it's like Phil and Rory dueling it out in the final round?

Rory McIlroy is officially a backdoor cover guy for Top 5 finishes

I think [McIlroy] has become like a backdoor cover guy for top fives. Like he shows up on Sundays when he's out and he comes back in, but yeah. He's striking the ball well.

Scottie Scheffler's Masters performance was legendary because it was so forgettable

What a legendary performance. We won't forget just because of it being so extremely forgettable. We'll always be like, you know what? This was the masters where Sunday was meaningless.

I am 100% guaranteed to make the cut at the 2022 Masters

The only thing that's made me nervous is for the first time in my life, I've kind of laid my nuts on the table and said I'm going to do something... I texted you that I was a 100% making the cut.

There is a 95% chance Tiger Woods plays in the 2022 Masters

I talked to my sources in the golf world, aka Frankie Borelli. And he said that there's a 95% chance [Tiger Woods] is going to be playing in the masters.

The 2021 US Ryder Cup team is the best of all time

I mean, it's hard to argue that we weren't. It's I mean, we put up the most points in history. I mean, selfishly I'm I might be just slightly biased, but until someone puts up 20 or 19 and a half points or 20 points, I think we have that right at this moment.

The USA is back because they 'skull fucked' Europe in the Ryder Cup

The USA, United States of America. We are back thanks to the Ryder cup team. Absolutely skull fucked Europe, 19 to nine biggest wins since 1975.

Max Homa must make a Sunday cut in a Major to be seen as more than a Twitter personality

I think the answer is actually the same. It's you gotta be like competitive on a Sunday in a Major and then it goes away... you need to be in the mix on, you know, a Sunday in Augusta.

Bryson DeChambeau is 'unworkable' as a brand spokesperson

Do you know how big of a dickhead you have to be to get fired as a spokesperson for somebody... and they're about to fire him? Like the guy that they went out and begged to be a part of the team and be the face of Cobra drivers, they're like, 'Fuck, we can't work with this guy. He's unworkable.' He is never happy.

I will wear red every Sunday until Tiger Woods returns to golf

I always wear red every Sunday. Every Sunday until Tiger's back. I'm going to catch you. That's a fact. I've been doing it since he got hurt. Months. Yeah, months and months.

Bryson DeChambeau has a weak legal case for 'mental harm' regarding the 'Brooksy' chants

I think, you know, it's like any case that there is, I think it's a weak case that he has... How does he prove his damages? Does he go and see a doctor and say, doctor, because of these assholes in Pardon My Take, I can't play anymore?

Everyone on the PGA Tour is living rent-free in Bryson DeChambeau's head

Everyone is in Brooksy's head at this point. It's an orphanage. All the problem children of the PGA Tour and the fans are allowed to live now rent-free in Brooksy's... Are we going to just call him Brooksy from now on?

Golf rivalries and fans hating players are good for the game

Golf should be fun. Rivalries are fun. Having guys hate each other is fun. Being able to hate another golfer as a fan is fun. All of these things make watching golf more enjoyable, and grows the game. You cannot tell me otherwise.

Bryson DeChambeau is going to get injured due to terrible lifting form

He's got bad form. He's going to get injured. Terrible form. I don't want him to get injured, but he's going to get injured. He was trying to do hammer curls... with 100 pounds just for the gram. He was using his shoulders. Popcorn muscles.

Will Zalatoris is ready to join the PMT 'stable' of golfers

Will Zalatoris was my guy. I was riding him like a horse. I was hoping that he was going to come through. He is – he's the one to watch. I think we need to get him on the show. I think we need to add him to our stable of Brooks [Koepka], Max Homa, and I think Will Zalatoris is – I think he's ready.

Bryson DeChambeau's 48-inch driver is cheating

I've never even tried 48 inch driver, but I would be lying if I said Bryson's not making me like kind of considering... sounds like it's cheating. I think it's cheating. [Big Cat: We decided it is cheating.] I'm a third party so that's not you as the fans can decide.

Jon Rahm's win shows that golf is officially having a massive moment in America

Golf is having a moment. I think it has happened... What America needs right now more than anything is something like we need a miracle.

Bryson DeChambeau lied about his dog to get internet clout

Bryson DeChambeau got him Duffy big time in a massive massive internet controversy. He took a picture with their golden retriever, Trigger is a name of this dog. And he said this dog Trigger was here and helped me win the amateur open back in 2015. Well record scratch, it turns out the Trigger, the sweet boy, was born in 2017. So Bryson got him tied up trying to chase them internet clout like a dog chasing his tail. Got caught big time.

Brooks Koepka was clearly injured at the PGA Championship and everyone mocking him should go fuck themselves

Brooks lost the course one. What the fuck do you want from us? Of course one this weekend. He didn't have he was hurt... if we were to make an excuse for Brooks, he was so clearly hurt and anyone who's talking bad about him right now can go fuck themselves.

Playing golf without fans in attendance will be awful and super weird

I don't know, I feel like it's gonna be weird. I think it's gonna be awful without fans. I really do. Like how weird is it going to be watching on the TV?... Imagine this, like you sink the putt on the last hole and no one's clapping. You're just there by yourself and you're like, yes, you and your caddy just silent.

J.B. Holmes is the slowest golfer ever

Slowest player ever. Very slow. And he shot an 87. So if you're going to be that slow and shoot an 87, that's an issue.

Sergio Garcia will never win another major championship

Sergio Garcia from España... he's never going to put it together in major championships, so it looks like [Koepka] is in the catbird seat.

The 2019 U.S. Open course at Pebble Beach was a disappointment

The course fucking sucked. A bit of a disappointment for the guys that root for the course out there. ... Overall, kind of a disappointing showing from the course. I feel like it's got to drop a little bit in the world rankings.

Tiger Woods is officially back

The real story is Tiger Woods is officially back... He had that Tiger swagger.

Tiger Woods beating the athlete golfers he inspired (Koepka, DJ) is his most impressive feat

There's a whole wave of guys that he created, right? The guys that look like Dustin Johnson and Brooks Koepka that could be athletes in any sport... And they all kind of wanted to be him. And he beat all of them... when it's over, he wins.

Francesco Molinari's Sunday collapse will be forgotten because Tiger Woods won

[Molinari] is the one guy that's going to walk away from this the most gutted because if he doesn't make a couple mistakes, then maybe it's him. [Big Cat: I think he's the luckiest guy... no one will remember it because it's Tiger]. SVP: I hadn't even considered that... that actually makes a ton of sense.

Tiger Woods will win the Masters this year

Tiger will win the Masters this year. [If he doesn't] I'll get Hank two years of tuna fish for his cat.

Tiger Woods is all the way back

Tiger Woods is all the way back. He won the Tour Championship... Tiger Woods still was able to break through to anyone who's even watching football who doesn't even care about golf.

Tiger Woods is officially back because he is contending in majors again

The Tiger's back crew that I despised for many years, the 2014-15 Tiger's back because he, you know, finished top 10 in a stupid tournament in Bermuda. That sucked. Now he's back because he's actually finishing second. I think he shot like six under today. He had that tiger stalk. He's back.

The PGA Tour is ridiculous for investigating Bryson DeChambeau for using a compass

[Speaker 1] (16:38-16:41) My hot seat is Bryson DeChambeau. [Speaker 1] (16:41-16:47) The PGA Tour is investigating him and trying to figure out whether it was legal of him to use a compass or not. [Speaker 1] (16:48-16:49) What century are we in? [Speaker 3] (17:16-17:21) I love this that it's a compass is now an illegal tool in golf.

Phil Mickelson disgraced the game of golf by hitting a moving ball at the U.S. Open

He basically disgraced the game of golf. I actually saw Golf Channel wrote an article saying not only did Phil Mickelson manipulate the rules of golf, he broke the spirit of the game. True. He broke it. There's no more spirit left.

The course at Shinnecock Hills is a 'wagon' because it's dominating every golfer in the field

I'm telling you what, this course is a wagon. Every single golfer got shit pumped today except for, what, Dustin Johnson? ... The course is awesome. The fescue is kicking people's ass.

Tony Romo is a fraud for talking about qualifying for the U.S. Open for five years and never doing it

I would like to see Tony Romo. Wasn't there talk of Tony Romo qualifying for a U.S. Open? ... So is he a fraud? I mean, he's been talking about it for the last five years. I don't know.

Ricky Fowler cannot win a major wearing a 'candy-ass' uniform on Sunday

I also feel bad for Sergio... I mean, we've long stood, you know, the Miami Dolphins, the Oregon Ducks. Teams that wear candy-ass uniforms in big-time moments, they just aren't as intimidating. And Ricky went with the creamsicle today, and I like Ricky. But I'm thinking maybe on Sundays in the majors, he needs to tone it down a little. You can wear the candy-ass uniforms after you bring home a title.

Sergio Garcia will never win another Major

Sergio and the fact that he's known for choking and that he'll never win a major. Ever.

Tiger Woods needs a 65 or 66 to win the Masters, which is unlikely

He's going to have to post like a 65, a 66 in there somewhere, which it seems from his game, it seems very unlikely that he can really go that low.

Sergio Garcia will choke in the big moments of The Masters

Sergio, I think this ship has sailed for him. He chokes every time he's in a big moment. It's Tiger. You know, it's a mental thing at this point. The second he hears Tiger sneaking up on him... he's going to melt down.

Tiger Woods return has a trickle-down effect on the US economy

My cool throne is the United States economy because Tiger Woods is back... Tiger Woods actually does have a trickle-down effect on the United States economy.

Tiger Woods will win at least one more Masters

We're now getting the Tiger Woods is going to win at least one more Masters takes. So I think that that means Tiger is like all the way back. When people are actually debating how many more Masters or, you know, championships you're going to win, I think that's exactly where Tiger is back.

I want to win championships on the blind PGA Tour

I want to see how far I can go with playing golf, and I definitely want to try to continue to pursue that goal. And I want to—there's a blind, actually, like sort of a blind PGA, so I want to go win some championships on that.

Tiger Woods' low bar to be 'back' only requires him to swing a club once without pain

Tiger has the lowest bar to be quote-unquote back. All he has to do is swing one golf club once without keeling over in pain, and all the Tiger fanboys will come running and be like, Tiger at the Masters... red shirt.

Ricky Fowler is on the hot seat because he hasn't won a major

Hot seat Ricky Fowler. Because he is now in the crew of guys who win majors, and he hasn't won a major.

Golf is in good hands with Jordan Spieth as the new face of the sport

Golf is officially on the cool throne because Jordan Spieth, he is now the new face of golf. I don't know if you guys have seen, but golf is in good hands now. We're out of the woods with the post-Tiger Woods era. Jordan Spieth's the guy.

The U.S. Open course at Erin Hills was way too easy

The golf course lost. I expect more. I want to see the U.S. Open golf course. I want to see Jim Nance giving his tie to the course. Everyone was just hitting it right down the middle the whole time. Easiest golf course I've ever seen. So USGA, figure it out.

Ricky Fowler can't win a title wearing 'candy-ass' bright orange uniforms

We do have the theory that candy-ass uniforms can't win titles. So, are we a little nervous? He had that bright orange on Sunday. Maybe, like, I was just thinking, hey, is Ricky Fowler playing for the Dolphins? Because... This sucks.

Tiger Woods is officially back

I think he's back. Actually, being that I practiced with him and play with him before and before the Ryder Cup and leading up to the Bahamas, he kept looking better and better.

Tiger Woods fanboys are delusional if they think the old Tiger is coming back

I just can't stand the Tiger fanboys that think old Tiger's coming back. He said it's phase two, which is nice. He leaves out the point that Phase 1 stopped after he became addicted to working out with Navy SEALs, cheated on his wife, crashed into a fire hydrant and hurt his back a million times.