Takes

Deshaun Watson is ruining the team he wants to be traded to

You're essentially saying, I want to be traded to a team that then will give up a bunch of draft capital and then hurt my ability to play for a winning team. In a way, yeah. He's almost kind of shitting in his own house and then buying the house.

No team should trade four first-round picks for Deshaun Watson

I think that you would be screwing yourself so royally over for the future if you give up four first-round picks... I wouldn't do it for four.

Deshaun Watson is a disgusting human being who also happens to stink at quarterback

Either he is the victim of the biggest, most coordinated, most ruthless smear campaign against an individual maybe in the history of sports, or he's a disgusting human being who should be in jail. Either way he stinks at quarterback.

Elon Musk's involvement with Twitter will be good for trolls and memes

I think [Elon Musk] just going to make it easier for trolls online. I think he likes trolls. He likes memes. He likes trolls. I think this is good for us. Happy to see old Elon getting on board.

TJ Watt should win Defensive Player of the Year

TJ Watt is, I know he won't win it, but he should win Defensive Player of the Year. I know that the Browns fans will be like Myles Garrett... [Watt] has 17 and a half sacks and he's played 10 full games. He does everything for them.

Oregon will upset Wisconsin in the first round of the 2019 NCAA Tournament

I'm going straight chalk this year in every game. I think the committee, again, this is the year they get it right, and I'm going Oregon over Wisconsin. That's my only upset.

The 2021 Final Four will likely be the lowest-watched in history because it lacks traditional blue-blood programs

This is going to be, not that we care, but there are people who care, probably the lowest watch final four. Right. You don't have any traditional blue bloods... you don't have any Big Ten. You don't have any ACC.

Lionel Messi is the undisputed GOAT after winning the World Cup

Messi is the goat. I mean, Ronaldo, I mean, there's nothing left. Messi has literally won it all. That game was fucking incredible... I'm happy for Messi. I, he's always been my goat and this was literally the last thing he had to win.

The Pac-12 will finally be worth watching and exciting this season

In all seriousness, the Pac-12 will be worth watching... This is the first season in a long time, going into the season, I'm actually excited to watch Pac-12 basketball in a very long time.

The Texans will not trade Deshaun Watson this year and he will sit out the season

I've kind of become resigned to the fact that maybe they're not going to trade Deshaun, and Deshaun's just not going to play this year.

The Miami Hurricanes and Texas Longhorns are on the fraud watch list

I don't think it's fair for us to put Miami on the fraud list just yet after one week. Let's put them on a watch list... questionable Miami. I would say Texas is also questionably fraud.

Deshaun Watson's $230 million guaranteed contract is going to be one of the worst in NFL history.

Deshaun Watson is gonna be in the running for worse contracts of all time. $200 million guaranteed has not been able to stay on the field. The Browns have a roster that is Super Bowl worthy, and now he's missing the rest of the year. And they're going to be having to fend off the AFC north with DTR, PJ Walker.

Former owner Dan Snyder is likely watching the Commanders' success from England and is absolutely miserable about it.

Dan Snyder not only like, is aware of the commanders... he's living in England and he's fucking pissed off and so angry about all of it. I'm glad you're pissed. I hope you watch every second. I hope that your life is just tormented from this point forward.

Deshaun Watson will never return to the level of play he showed with the Texans

There's no reason to pretend there's gonna be anything different. Like Deshaun Watson's not gonna come back from double Achilles surgery. Yeah. And horrendous last four years and all of a sudden be Deshaun Watson from the Texans. He wasn't even Deshaun Watson from the Texans right after he was off the Texans. Right. He was, he's been bad from the get go.

The Pac-12 is dying because people can't watch stars like Caleb Williams play on their network

The returning Heisman Caleb Williams, who would probably be the number one pick in the draft and no one in America could watch it 'cause it was Pac-12 network... that could not have been the better way to tip off the last Pac-12 season opener to be like, hey, this is why we're dying. Because we can't watch fucking Caleb Williams play football.

Floyd Mayweather was in complete control for every second of the Conor McGregor fight

In terms of actually looking back and thinking about it, there was not one second that [Mayweather] wasn't in complete control. Like Connor threw some big punches, but Floyd knew exactly what he was doing the whole time. He's like, I'll play defense for a few rounds, and then he's going to get gassed, which he did, and he knocked him out.

JJ Watt will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on thank-you ads for Houston

I think that there's probably at least like $300,000 or $400,000 that [JJ Watt] has earmarked right now to take out full-page thank you ads to the entire city of Houston. He's probably going to be buying billboards all over Texas, thanking them for his time there.

Mules are better workers than horses or donkeys

Mules are sterile and they're actually better workers than horses or donkeys. They're way better than horses. [How do they get born?] It takes one horse and one donkey. There's also zorses, that's a horse and a zebra.

Jalen Carter will not fall out of the top 10 in the draft

I'd be shocked, shocked if Jalen Carter fell out of the top 10. The Seahawks at five, Jalen Carter's a perfect fit... You go right down to the Eagles at 10.

The NFL should adopt a hybrid draft format where the first round is live but later rounds are remote

If they can do a blend if they could do a hybrid it would be perfect. I would want the first round live with people in the draftees in the spot... but I agree with you like if we could do rounds 4 through 7 where everyone is remote and you can see into the room like living rooms of all the coaches and GM's that was fascinating.

Bruce Arians is a 'Rhino Hunter' who loves signing old, veteran quarterbacks

Bruce Arians did say he prescribes to analytics... and he does like older quarterbacks. So he's kind of like a cougar hunter... Bruce Arians is definitely a rhino Hunter. Yes, because he liked Carson Palmer, loved Peyton Manning. He likes these old guys.

J.J. Watt will never actually come on the show

If I'm putting money on it, I'm saying that he's not going to come on the show and that he's just doing this as a one-time thing to try to get a brief amount of credit but not really following up on it.

In 10 years, PGA players will realize the LIV merger was the moment they started making a lot more money

It's gotta suck to be a PGA tour player today because they were blindsided. [But] in like 10 years they'll probably look back and be like, yeah, we did make a lot more money. They already are making more money because of the PGA having to compete with LIV. They're probably all gonna make a shitload more money now.

The new 6 PM SportsCenter will be 90% conversation and only 10% traditional highlights

We have producers who enjoy and appreciate what we do... In fact, we had to give it a percentage. The six is going to be 85% to 90% of what you've seen on His and Hers and 10% some SportsCenter. And that 10% is going to feel like His and Hers. It's just going to be something that SportsCenter would have done anyway.

Joel Embiid will stop being funny on Twitter when he starts playing poorly or getting hurt more

I predicted like a month ago how Joel would not be so funny on Twitter when he starts fucking up. So this is the first one. He's injured like every other day. He's got a lot of time to go back and forth. Take away his umlaut over the Joel. You're just Joel now.

The Bengals are officially on 'frisky watch'

The Bengals, I think are officially on frisky watch. Who is more frisky? The Bengals or the Panthers. I think the Panthers... The Bengals just joined the Panthers in the frisky watch.

Switching from quarterback to wide receiver was like discovering my true self

I got to college and, you know, there's a lot of new things... you try some new things, try new positions in college... I was out on the field, and I caught a ball. Yeah, it felt right. I wasn't wearing gloves. Skin on skin. You always remember your first ball.

J.J. Watt released the first-ever non-retirement announcement for a retirement nobody expected

J.J. Watt just had the first ever non-retirement announcement. No one was wondering if he was retiring. But he's like, hey, guys, if any of you are wondering, yeah, I'm not retiring.

The Cowboys trade for Amari Cooper was a ballsy move that worked

The Amari Cooper trade, when we laughed at it and everyone laughed at it, that was a fucking ballsy move, and it has worked out. Amari Cooper has basically re-found himself.

The Washington Generals have a better winning culture than the Redskins have had for the last 30 years

They've been so bad that the name Washington Generals is more aligned with a winning culture than the Washington Redskins has been for the last 30 years. ... We've tried everybody, we've tried everything possible. Let's Rebrand.

Nick Mullens is the ultimate backup gunslinger because you always want to watch him

Nick Mullens... he's the ultimate like backup gunslinger. Right. Yeah. I don't think a team will ever commit to Nick Mullens as being like the guy ever. But he's fun. At least you'll say this about Nick when he plays, you wanna watch the game because he's gonna do some crazy shit.

Deshaun Watson stinks

Deshaun Watson. Should we talk about Deshaun? Yeah, he stinks. He stinks. He stinks. He's, he's pretty bad. And they're paying him $230 million.

Mike McDaniel showing up to a must-win game looking like the Unibomber was a bad omen for his job security.

Would you say that showing up to the game that will most likely get you fired as the Unibomber is probably not the best luck, because that's what Mike McDaniel looked like. ... Unibomber didn't get caught for being, for being such a wanted guy.

The Dolphins are the prime spoiler team and will win one of their games against the Texans or 49ers later in the season

I think they are just the prime spoiler team. I think they have a game against the Texans and the 49ers later in the season. They're gonna win one of those two. It's not gonna mean anything for them, but it'll mean a lot for the team that loses.

A modern hitter will never hit .400 again because of the prevalence of specialized relief pitchers.

No, I don't think [hitting .400] is [going to happen again]. I think there's too much specialty in pitching... You've got a guy, a lot of the three, four, five starters, you get five innings... Then they bring in a guy that's making probably $6 million a year to pitch the sixth, maybe the seventh.

TJ Watt is the Defensive Player of the Year

TJ Watt is defensive player of the year. And I know there's a lot of guys out there that could probably win it. He had three and a half sacks today... TJ Watt now has played 10 games this year. He has 16 sacks in 10 games. That's insane... TJ Watt definitely has moments where he just completely takes over a game... There's my vote.

The 49ers are on fraud watch if they lose to the Bengals

Next week it's gonna be the 49ers and the Bengals. Ooh, I'm gonna say this is a must win for the 49ers in that if they lose it, their frauds, they're, they're on fraud watch right now... we are going to call them frauds if they get beat by the Bengals.

A broadcaster will not get a Power 5 head coaching job like Oklahoma State

I just don't see places like Oklahoma State, like Power 5 Jobs, going to broadcasters like us. I would find that kind of hard to believe, but you never know.

Rashawn Slater is going to be very good for Justin Herbert

I do like the Chargers pick. I think the offensive tackle, Rashawn Slater out of Northwestern, is going to be very good, and they need that for Justin Herbert.

The Pro Bowl has reached a point where it is more fun to joke about than to actually watch

I think it's reached a point where it stinks so bad that it's more fun to joke about the Pro Bowl.

UNC is the most fun team to watch in college football

I think UNC might be the greatest team to watch in college football. There's so I feel like it's just gonna, you wanna talk about maximum chaos? I feel like that's gonna be UNC every single weekend.

Pete Carroll is a cheater for lying on injury reports

My hot seat is Pete Carroll, coach of the Seattle Cheahawks. Got caught cheating... by lying about his injury report saying Richard Sherman, he had an injury the whole season, and he basically lied on the injury report every single week... his crime was lying and cheating.

The Houston Texans are definitely not better off without J.J. Watt

How could you be better without [J.J. Watt]? You know, no matter what people think about him off the field, on the field, he's a pretty darn good player. Now you put him with Mercilus and Clowney, it'll be interesting what happens. So to say the Texans would be better with him off the football field, I don't think is—that's just [the PMT] hot take.

Oregon is the most under-seeded team in the 2021 NCAA tournament

The most under-seeded team in the 2021 NCAA tournament is Oregon... Dana Altman, the master of the Rubik's Cube... This team is more talented than its seed. I think they're a very difficult matchup for Iowa. I have a big Pac-12 breakthrough... I've got Oregon going to the second weekend.

The Red Sox Apple Watch scandal is good for baseball because it fuels the Yankees rivalry

Baseball needs rivalries. Red Sox-Yankees has been simmering. This kind of brings it up a notch.

JJ Watt signed with the Cardinals because they offered the most guaranteed money

J.J. Watt is signing with the Cardinals. I just assume it's the most money... it's the most guaranteed money. I know Kyler Murray and all this stuff. I think it's the most guaranteed money and he probably just didn't want to play in the cold.

Ben Roethlisberger was the best quarterback I played with

I've got to say Ben Roethlisberger. No question about it... Ben had that 'it' that most players don't have. I mean, you can be a good player, but you just don't have that 'it' thing. He's had that 'it'.

The Dolphins are officially on 'Fraud Watch' until they beat a real team like the Chiefs

The Dolphins are not frauds. They're on fraud watch. The teams they have beaten are the Chargers, the Patriots twice, the Broncos, the Giants and the Panthers. They have to win a game... against this Chiefs game will be the huge test for them.

Cameron Boozer was named after Duke's Cameron Indoor Stadium

And [Cameron Boozer] was named after the stadium. ... Yeah, it's a fact.

Adam Thielen becoming a Steeler was the fulfillment of a Mike Tomlin 'soup spoon' prophecy

Mike Tomlin will say something like, 'we can't eat soup with forks, we need spoons.' Then the Steelers will sign a 2018 Pro Bowler... You [Adam Thielen] were a Pro Bowler in 2018. This tweet was put up on November 30th, 2025. You became a Steeler December 2nd.