Takes

We don't actually know how strong gorillas are because they haven't been trained in powerlifting

Actually trained a gorilla in powerlifting—so we don't really know how strong they actually possibly could be. Also, with their enclosures and zoos, we don't actually know if they just choose to stay in there and can actually break out of anything we design.

Short people are crucial for conserving food and resources on our dying planet

Being short is better for the future... Not only do shorter people tend to live longer, but they're also crucial in conserving food and resources on her dying planet. The short are also inherent conservationists, which is more crucial than ever in this world of 8 billion. So basically if we were 10% shorter, we would save 87 millions of tons of food per year.

There are wooly mammoth bones and ivory worth millions in the East River

There's a bunch of treasure in the East River... wooly mammoth bones, tusks, ivory. It's treasure. Millions. Billions. The treasure is on East 65th Street next to the FDR Drive in the water... we're gonna try to go get it.

Special teams only account for 14% of a football game

It's not a third of the game either. It's a great myth. It's about 14% of the game. Punt the ball out of bounds. Kick the ball out of the end zone. Don't worry about any of that return crap... Make your damn kicks. It's your only damn job.

Eliminated teams playing teams that need to win in the final weeks are a 63% ATS betting lock

The eliminated teams playing teams that need to win over the final two weeks of this season are 63% against the spread since 1990. So essentially any team that needs to win and you're playing a dead dog team, it just always, it, it, it usually works out that the dead dog team's a little livelier than people realize.

Barry Sanders had bionic ankles

The whoop came from Barry Sanders... I think his ankles were bionic. Tommy [Jackson] and I both think this because he, there's no way you could swivel as a human being like this speeds.

Corn is botanically a fruit

Corn is a fruit. If you look it up, corn is a fruit. It has fruit qualities... the kernels of corn are fruit.

I finished my career with exactly as many touchdowns as interceptions

I threw 161 TDs in the NFL and I also threw 161 interceptions. I came out even man.

The James Harden to Houston rumors are true

Harden says quote, 'I don't know where you found that report.' ... He was being so wishy-washy, but it was like, 'I don't know where you found that report.' And then it's like, yep, that's it. [The rumors are true].

Every offensive lineman's job is to be a world-class holder

If you're an offensive lineman, you gotta become a world-class holder. Yeah. That's your job. Yeah, right. We're basically really high paid bouncers. That's, that's literally all we are. You're, you're figure out how to hold people.

NFL players wake up feeling significantly better playing on grass versus turf

When I play on grass, there is a drastic difference really how I wake up the next day. Like just my body in general, like how I can work out, how I can train it. It's night and day different. ... The argument is I know that after I play a game on turf, I feel awful for three or four days. Your knees, your joints, your body, like, you just feel terrible.

I played an entire month of the 2020 season with appendicitis and didn't tell anyone

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, shivering, my stomach hurts so bad... I can't tell anybody about this. I just signed a contract extension, like I have to play... Played in the game on Sunday and then I told the team Wednesday... they're like, oh yeah, you have appendicitis. Like you, you've had it for a week... I basically had appendicitis for the first month of the season and the antibiotics made it go away.

My hand size is between 10.25 and 10.5 inches

I, I do, I do know I have big hands. I think it's anywhere between 10 and a quarter and 10 and a half... [PFT measures]: 10 and a half. They're huge. Whoa. They're huge.

Tom Brady has more Super Bowls than all other current playoff quarterbacks combined

Fact of fiction. He's got more Super Bowls than all the other quarterbacks named mine. ... I think making the playoffs is a pretty good indicator of being good.

The 'Baby Bump' is a real thing that improves player performance in sports

We always talk about the baby bump. When a player, any sport has a baby, they start to perform well for a little period of time after. Is that real? I looked it up. Your child was born August 2nd. You hit three 90 the five games afterwards. Your average this year was 2 59.

The New York Yankees were given juiced baseballs for Aaron Judge's home run chase

A report came out saying that the Yankees were beneficiaries of having juice balls all last year. The Yankees were getting juice balls. Asterisks on his home run record, on his AL home run record. I mean, Jake, how can you discount that? They were purposely giving the best balls in baseball to the New York Yankees last year.

I work 70 hours a week during the fall

I would say 70 hours a week. That doesn't really count like sitting at home watching games 70 hours a week in the fall. But then it becomes a lot less... I love football, but the idea that we could come in at 7 o'clock on a Sunday and be done in two hours [is nice].

I've not had a blister on my hands since junior year of high school baseball

Maybe baseball. I used to swing a baseball bat. Maybe I got a blister playing baseball in high school. So junior year of high school.

Sam Bankman-Fried is the latest Bernie Madoff

My hot seat is crypto in general. Sam Bankman-Fried from FTX is the latest Bernie Madoff right now. It's been in the news. He had I think about $40 billion and now he has $0 because his entire platform went bankrupt.

Dan Campbell says 'man' at least a hundred times a day

How many times does Dan Campbell say the word man? Man, I just said at least when we're in the building players at least a hundred. At least I know, I'm sure he does it a lot in his interviews, but man, man, man. No, he does it a lot. Probably at least a, at least a hundred.

LeBron James is lying about when he started listening to Migos

LeBron today wore an outfit... a reporter asked him... he said 'I love Migos. I've been listening to them since I was in Miami in 2010.' The Migos didn't start putting music out until 2011 and they weren't really popular until 2013... just no reason to lie whatsoever.

Dan Snyder is officially going to sell the Washington Commanders

I've talked to enough people behind the scenes to know that Dan Snyder is in fact going to sell the Washington Commanders. Yesterday was no joke, the second best sports day of my entire life.

Teams that play the Panthers lose their following game

Do you know that teams that play the Panthers the next week, they're 0-7. Every team that's played the Panthers the following week, they lose their next game... You either you get beaten up by them and you're still sore going to the next game or they're just so bad that you think that this is what NFL football is like.

Lance McCullers Jr. was tipping his pitches against the Phillies

Lance McCullers was tipping all of his pitches tonight. And you saw it from the start. Like Bryce [Harper], when he went yard, he told everybody in the Phillies dugout, he's like, This guy's tipping his pitches. A bunch of stuff went viral online where you could see like the high leg kick. You could see the back leg being straight and the Phillies hit all their home runs off sinkers curves, changeups things like that.

The Bill Belichick coaching tree has a combined 41% winning percentage as head coaches

If you look at Belichick's former coaches that have gone on to coach in the NFL, their winning percentage is 41%. Not good. They're a combined 225, 319 and one. ... The best head coach that has been a former Bill Belichick assistant coach is Bill O'Brien.

Tom Brady's marriage issues began because Gisele didn't know he was flirting with the Dolphins

There's a theory in league circles... that the issues with Tom Brady and his wife blew up when the league announced the punishment of the dolphins because of the flirtation with Brady. Cuz she had, as the theory goes, no idea he was talking to the dolphins about playing.

Bailey Zappy's release point is too low for the NFL

But the thing is, the downside with Zappy is that his release point is too low for the NFL. If you look at the Cleveland [game] and if you look at what he did last night, his release point is way too low causing the ball to get batted down and those interceptions.

Joe Gibbs winning three Super Bowls with different QBs and RBs is incredibly impressive

It's interesting cuz like Joe Gibbs won three Super Bowls with three different starting quarterbacks He did. And three different starting running backs. That's just kind of interesting.

The Jaguars have never had a good tight end in their franchise history

I don't think the Jaguars have ever had a good tight end ever. Yeah. Like Mercedes Lewis. Lewis is the only one I could think of. But when he was on the Jaguars, I think he was just mostly a blocking tight end... The Jaguars have never had a good tight end ever.

Harambe would record at least seven sacks a game in the NFL

You gotta take Harambe, right? I mean the strength to weight ratio is just way higher than humans. That's, I mean that's a easy seven sacks a game I'm sure.

Kenyon Martin's comeback from a broken leg is one of the greatest feats in sports history

It blows my mind that a guy could like him, could break his leg and come back and play 11 years in the NBA... I'll bet you nobody's ever done that in the history of sports. With a broken leg and come back and... that's a lot of running, that's a lot of jumping and pounding.

I am getting hair plugs to combat my balding

I'm gonna go one way or the other. I don't wanna stay where I'm at right now. I'm in no man's land... All right. I'm gonna get hair plugs.

I’m officially retiring from the NFL unless someone offers me a two-year, $15 million contract

I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Just didn't tell anyone... I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly... I've officially retired... [unless] two for 15 million. I'd be there in a heartbeat.

The Ravens purple jerseys are a brighter shade this season

I have noticed one thing about the Ravens, I think, and I don't think this is just me being weird about it. Their jerseys are brighter this year. Their purple jerseys. I think it's actually a completely different purple.

Betting the under on NFL prime-time games is a proven winning strategy

My under I'm gonna do the Broncos Niners under 44 and a half. Tommy gave us a stat. It was something like the last 45 prime time games, it's 30 and 15 to the under. And I was like, oh, that's why I lose all my money. So I'm done. I'm gonna try to ride the wave now.

Russell Wilson is identically copying Tom Brady's social media videos

Russell Wilson has just completely ripped off his [Brady's] post game videos like identical. And it was it. I mean, it's so Russ it's so Russ and for doing it for a 16, 9 win against the Texans was even better. Everything was, was exactly identical going from the, the intro, the different cuts, the type of filters, the music.

Tuna is the beef of the sea and Salmon is the chicken of the sea

Tuna is the beef of the sea. Salmon's the chicken of the sea. [Big Cat: Tuna cans literally say chicken of the sea.] No, because it's red. It's the beef.

Tom Brady has zero respect for me and has refused to shake my hand after games

I've told this story before, but he just pisses me off because you're in Buffalo... and we finally in 2011 knocked him off... and he threw five interceptions in the game... run straight off. Like no handshake, no, you know, quarterback middle of the field... just ran straight off. So it just, it bothered me so much because there was no respect there. And so I was like, every time I played him, after that, I was like, all right, like I at least got like, let's make this dude respect me.

The AFC North currently has the greatest division of kickers in NFL history

I think as it stands right now, this for of AFC north kickers could be the greatest division of kickers ever. McPherson was unbelievable. Last year, Tucker with Boswell and K York.

I may be allergic to red meat and dairy for the rest of my life due to a lone star tick bite

Turns out I must have stepped on a lone star tick nest... and I got bitten by a bunch of lone star tick larva... which the good news is the larva don't transmit Lyme's... but they can give you an Alpha-gal allergy. That means that Alpha-gal is in all red meat and dairy and I, I might be allergic to red meat and dairy for the rest of my life. I had to go vegan for a month before I get the test... I contracted veganism.

Bryce Young and C.J. Stroud are the two best quarterbacks in the country

I think [C.J. Stroud] and Bryce Young are the two best quarterbacks in the country. I think that they will be Heisman finalists.

Baker Mayfield will 'fuck up' the Cleveland Browns in Week 1

My hot seat are the Browns. Baker Mayfield... was quoted saying 'I'm going to fuck them up' in regards to the Browns. That's my hot seat Baker.

Rumors of friction with Tom Brady were completely false

It was a big one [the rumor of friction]. It's nothing could be further from the truth. We have a great relationship... Tom, he's asking more questions and I throw him in the golf cart and he's old enough and I can drive him off the field.

Buffalo will never build an indoor stadium

[Do you think that Buffalo would ever get an indoor stadium or would you want a dome?] No. Ever. This is Buffalo, right? And this is what part of what makes us unique... We love it year round. It makes us who we are.

No quarterback who wears a visor has ever won a Super Bowl

The only concern I have about Josh Allen is every year, it seems like he put, he keeps the visor on later and later and no quarterback that's ever worn a visor has won a Super Bowl.

Cold pasta has no carbs or calories

Here's a, here's a little fun fact for everyone as a nutritionist, pasta cold pasta has no carbs. So that's just a fact for everyone out there. No carbs, no calories, cold pasta. You can, whenever you eat cold pasta, the next day you could just eat so much of it.

I take PEDs, but PEDs stands for 'Prioritize, Execute, and Dominate'

I take PEDs. Yeah. I prioritize, execute and dominate every, every fucking morning. Every morning... I'm completely fucking around guys.

Sunning your balls can improve androgens and is 'pretty primal'

If you sun your balls, there is a study. It's an older study, I think it's from like the fifties or sixties that shows that it does improve androgens, not necessarily testosterone... I think it's pretty fucking primal. Right? I mean, we, we didn't evolve essentially with clothes... I think it's pretty primal to do.

Carson Wentz is the statistically best quarterback ever when the temperature is exactly 73 degrees

In exactly 73 degree weather, Carson Wentz is the number one quarterback of all time in yards per attempt. So you gotta have something like you gotta check your weather app on Sundays. If it's 73 degrees outside, start Terry McLaurin on your fantasy team.

The NFL purposefully scheduled Christmas Day games to screw over NBA markets

NFL is game, right? They did it so that each market is fucked by the NFL... Celtics, Sixers, Nicks, sons nuggets, Lakers, Mavs... Packers are playing bucks. They just fucked. It's it's so great. They just like, oh, here are your top teams that you're gonna use for Christmas day. We're gonna steal 'em.