Max

The Cardinals' loss was the most fun 'loss of the week'

Cardinals [is loss of the week]... that was the most fun loss. No, that was my favorite loss. That's your definition of the loss of the week. This is mine.

The Phillies' current competitive run is nearing the end

This, it's, it, it is nearing the end of our run. Like Zach Wheeler, who knows what he's gonna be when he comes back... Schwarber is probably gone. Ranger Suarez is probably gone.

The Packers will easily score over 27.5 points against the Cowboys

Memes and I just hammered the team total over 27 and a half for the Packers. I like that because this to me feels like, I think I'm gonna put the, it might be the Squarest bet that any of us make... Micah Parsons has been wronged by the Cowboys. That narrative is gonna be really the story of the game.

Jalen Hurts may have taken over offensive play-calling in the second half against the Rams

I think that there's a chance that Jalen Hurts may have just taken over offensive coordinator. There was a point in the game where he got into [Kellen Moore's] face and started yelling at him... it seemed to go to the extent of we need to be more aggressive. And I think that there's a chance that the offensive play caller in the second half was Jalen Hurts.

Zelda: Ocarina of Time is the best video game ever made

We are gonna go Zelda: Ocarina of Time... widely known as the best game ever... It's like known as being the best game ever.

Zack Wheeler is likely done for the year with blood clots and the Phillies' season is over

I think [Zack Wheeler] is probably done for the year, which means that the Phillies are probably done. Blood clot sounds bad in his shoulder... everyone for pitching... Yeah. No, I think, I think he's probably done for the year, which is, which means that the Phillies are probably done.

Soccer is the most boring popular sport in the world

Soccer? Don't under don't understand. It's the most popular sport in the world. Yep. By far. Yep. And I watch a game and it seems so fucking boring. Like I get the moment that you get the goal is very fun. But every other moment in between it is like, when are they gonna fucking do something?

Cold plunges are a form of performative suffering for wealthy people

It was widely considered like one of the worst parts of our week when like everyone on our team had to do a cold plunge and then out of nowhere it has just become widely known as like the best thing that people are like paying to go do for luxury... life is so easy that they like to do something that makes them feel pain... I heard about this on a podcast.

The Jaguars will win the AFC South at 3-to-1 odds

I'm going to do Jags three to one to win the AFC South. One more year of believing in the Jags. Trevor Lawrence was on the show, he got me fired up.

Joe Milton should be a starting quarterback in the NFL

It sucks that the two biggest Joe Milton guys on this podcast are the two biggest cowboy haters. But Joe Milton that is absolutely slinging it. He should be a starting quarterback in the NFL.

Quiche is a superior breakfast food to frittata

I like quiche. I like quiche. I think [it] is superior. Superior to frittata. The pie crust, it's quiche. I like quiche.

Olive Garden is absolutely disgusting Italian food.

Olive Garden is absolutely fucking disgusting. If it's a true Italian... it's Italian, but it's a [disgrace]. But it's a good pick. It's a good for the [graphic].

Italian food in Italy is far superior to American-Italian food.

American food is meant to be had in a chain restaurant... Italian food in Italy is better than American food in America. Correct. I have never been to Italy, but I imagine.

Jayden Daniels is a top five quarterback in the NFL

I'm the one who's saying [Jayden Daniels] is the top five quarterback. Without a doubt. No questions asked.

I have no confidence in the Phillies right now

I, I, I'm, I'm tuned in. I watch every game. It's just, I, it's, I don't know. They're frustrating squad... Dude, I just don't have a lot of confidence in this, in this team right now.

Signing David Robertson at 40 years old after he hasn't pitched all year is a terrible move for the Phillies

This is the third time that he'll be on the Phillies and he's David Robertson. He's 40. Oh, he's 40. He's 40 and he hasn't pitched all year. He's like the dinosaur.

UFC would be a better sport if there were more KOs and no gloves

There should be more KOs. No gloves. Too much defense. There's too much defense. I want more. They should be standing up and just throwing fist. Be a much better sport.

Joel Embiid will win the NBA MVP award next season

I will be saying that Joel Embiid will be winning the MVP. I'm going back to my original idea. It's like when you're in school and you're taking a test, you only gotta go with your gut. And my gut said that Joel Embiid is gonna win MVP this year. And I'm sticking with Joel Embiid will win the MVP.

Jayden Daniels is already a top five quarterback in the NFL

You know what, Jayden Daniels doesn't even need Terry McLaurin, he's still a top five [QB]. You could put Jayden Daniels out with any receiving corps in the NFL, he's a top five quarterback.

Paul George will be the biggest bust in Philadelphia sports history

Paul George, Playoff P, Pre-season P has injured himself again... he's probably gonna go down as the biggest bust in Philly history. Him and Andrew Bynum... Ben Simmons... Markelle Fultz. Playoff P is in the running right now for biggest bust.

I want Brody Brecht to be the biggest bust in MLB history after he was selected for the All-Star game over Ranger Suárez

I now hate this guy. I now want this guy to be the biggest bust in MLB history. Ranger Suárez has a 1.94 in 13 games... How do you possibly look at that and be like, this guy is more deserving than Ranger Suárez? It makes no sense.

Trea Turner not receiving an MLB All-Star reserve spot is a snub

Trea Turner leads league in hits and he didn't even get a reserve spot... say what? Christopher Sanchez should have been in over MacKenzie Gore. That makes no sense.

It's embarrassing for a person to use an umbrella even though it's better than getting wet

Holding an umbrella... even though it's obviously way better than being wet... there's something about holding an umbrella that just sucks.

Chet Holmgren is not the guy

[Chet Holmgren] is not the guy... not a guy.

Unsalted nuts suck; the saltier the better

Unsalted nuts suck. ... There's nothing worse than when you see like a, a thing of nuts and you take a little handful and it's unsalted nuts. Oh, unsalted nuts suck. No saltier the better.

Deebo Samuel is fat and slow now

I never said specifically that he was fat. I just referred to him as Fat Deebo. He's fat. He could be also everyone who's going just send screenshots of how fat I am... Fat Deebo rolls off the tongue. At least you got Fat Deebo.

The Celtics probably aren't going to lose another game for the rest of the Playoffs.

Celtics probably aren't gonna lose the game the rest of the Playoffs.

Jayson Tatum is not a superstar

Jason Tatum is not a superstar... He didn't play on the Olympic team. He didn't play.

Joel Embiid and Jayson Tatum are essentially the same playoff player.

Embiid and Tatum are the same player. Their fourth quarter numbers are exactly the same. Their offensive rating is exactly the same... They're the same playoff player.

The Knicks will beat the Celtics in six games.

Celtics probably aren't gonna lose a game the rest of the Playoffs... [but] Nixon six.

Jayson Tatum has officially replaced Joel Embiid as the worst playoff superstar in the Eastern Conference

I guess that a super embarrassing that Jason Tatum has now taken the crown of the worst playoff performer in the Eastern Conference... Joel Embiid for a long time was known as the worst Eastern Conference superstar to play in the playoffs. And Jason Tatum simply has worst playoff stats than Joel Embiid. And that's a fact.

Jayson Tatum was carried to his championship and would be a loser on any other organization

Jason Tatum would also be a loser if he wasn't playing for the Celtics... He played horribly in that championship and was carried by the rest of his team.

Tobias Harris is a pussy

Tobias Harris is a pussy. The amount of people that are pussies that can't play in Philadelphia is disgusting.

Having a stomach bug is one of the worst things that can happen to a human

Getting the stomach bug is by far the worst thing that can possibly happen to a human I think. Cancer, I feel like stomach bug's gotta be up there. Just kidding, just kidding... you feel like you're dying though. It's terrible.

Winning the Eastern Conference is much easier than winning the Western Conference

Winning the Eastern Conference is a lot easier to do than the Western Conference. No team has done jack shit until they do jack shit. Last year the Celtics did not do jack shit.

April Fools' Day is the lowest form of comedy.

I'm done with this show. I'm done with this episode. I'm opting out for the rest of this episode. Because April Fools is the lowest form of comedy.

Increased runs and homers are objectively good for baseball

Why you watch baseball? To watch homers? Yeah. Why do people want less homers? Yeah. Like everything in baseball right now is going towards the pitcher. The one time, the one time something goes towards the hitter and now everyone wants to freak out. That's what baseball's fun. You wanna watch people hit, you wanna, this is good for baseball. More runs is good for baseball

I am worried about Kevin Willard's future tenure at Villanova

I'm worried about [Kevin Willard's] tenure at Villanova. That's a past, we're worried about the future. And Kevin Willard to Villanova... that's what I care about.

The character we saw at the end of the Severance finale was actually Outie Helly

I feel like the real theory is that it's Outie Helly at the end of the episode. Because she brings him in back and smiled at Gemma. And Irv said Innie Helly was never cruel. And it was kind of a cruel looking smile when she looked at Gemma and was like, 'I won.'

The Big East is for basketball while the SEC is for football

Big East is college basketball. SEC's football... when you're watching SEC basketball fans, you know, you're only thinking in the back of your head... they don't care about this. Like they care about football.

Saint Mary's was the worst team I've ever watched and their game against Alabama was boring and terrible.

That was the worst college basketball game I think I've ever seen. It was so bad, like boring and bad to watch. Saint Mary's is the worst team ever, worst team I've ever watched. How was this team a fucking seven seed? They sucked.

Tennessee is the best team that nobody is talking about in the tournament.

I picked Tennessee before so I'll stick with Tennessee. I feel like that's the team that has the best shot that no one's talking about.

The Real ID requirement is a load of bullshit and unnecessarily complicated

Real ID... that's a load of bullshit. It's impossible to get an appointment... Why can't there just be one line? You go to one person, you get everything done and you leave, you go to eight different lines and you get an appointment. And an appointment means nothing.

Ryan Odom will not be the head coach at VCU next year

This will be his last time at VCU no matter what... I'm reporting this. He will either be going to Villanova or Virginia after this year. He will, this is his last ride with VCU.

Kyle Neptune's career as the head coach of Villanova is likely over

Went two for 15 in a way that ended their season, ended his [Eric Dixon's] career. And most likely ended the career of the head coach of Villanova, Kyle Neptune.

The 76ers tanking this season is the most necessary tank in NBA history

it's also the most necessary tank ever... realistically, we we're trying to get to five. Right. Because if you get to five, then one team can still jump you. Right. And you And we'll still get our first round pick... it's like you have to lose. You have to lose.

LeBron James' cookies were probably healthy almond-flour trash that tasted shitty

I think they're probably shitty cookies. His chef making his dinner... because he only eats specific healthy shit. So he's probably getting like almond flour cookies and stuff.

I'm officially opting out of all Philadelphia 76ers news for the rest of the season

I don't care. I'm opting out of all Sixers news... I just wanna fast forward to the end of the season.

Banning the tush push is a loser mentality

Loser mentality. They're all a bunch of pussies. The eagles are the best at it. They work on it a lot. They practice it a lot. They have the right guys to do it. I don't know why you would punish a team for just being better at one play than the rest of the league.

The 76ers should shut down Joel Embiid and tank for Cooper Flagg

They stink. Joel Embiid, they should shut him down for the season and they should tank for Cooper Flagg.