Max

A Dungeons and Dragons player who shapeshifts into an animal too early cannot be trusted

If you morph into something else already, how can you be trusted? Right. It's not even, especially if it's not even known yet. [I need to] fit in with like the rest of the crowd.

Turtles are annoying, talk down to others, and think they are in on something when they are not

There's something about it, a turtle that they do things in a way that is just really annoying to others. And I felt that annoyance within myself... They're like, talk down to you. Yep. They're also dumb and they think that they are in on something when they're really not.

The 2024-2025 Philadelphia Eagles are an elite, all-time historic football team.

The Philadelphia Eagles of the 2024, 2025 season are a historic football team. Games that they have been healthy in that've lost one game. The Falcons game is the only real loss that they had all year... This fucking team is one of the best teams of all time.

The Super Bowl is effectively over if the Eagles give up an early safety

If you start out getting safety and it's two nothing that's game over... Safety would be tough... Two, nothing is absolutely just stop the game Max.

The Eagles will beat the Chiefs 26-21 in Super Bowl 59

26, 21 Eagles. [Mahomes] back doors it into the one score game... it's gonna be a dog fight.

Myles Garrett will probably end up on the Eagles

Where do you think Miles Garrett's gonna end up? [Max]: I probably Eagle.

Jalen Hurts is completely healthy and is going to 'fuck shit up' in the Super Bowl

He looked strong. Real strong. [PFT Commenter]: I analyzed the gait. He was walking confidently. He had no sight of a limp. [Max]: He's gonna fuck shit up on Sunday. Like, I came here to fuck shit up. That's what he's saying. He's gonna hand the fuck out of the ball on Sunday and throw the football. He can do everything.

The Eagles will defeat the Chiefs 38-24 in Super Bowl 59

38-24. [Big Cat]: Wow, so it was 32-24 on Monday's show. We're now the Eagles have gotten better from Monday to Wednesday. [Max]: I feel great. I'm ready to go. I'm ready for Sunday.

Skiing is a fitness vacation

[You're going on a diet a week before vacation?] Skiing is basically a fitness vacation. Yes.

DeVonta Smith will have 50+ receiving yards in Super Bowl 59

My prop. I think that DeVonta Smith is due. Oh, I think he, I 50 plus yards. I feel good about DeVonta Smith.

Saquon Barkley is the best player in the NFL and will change the running back market.

Saquon Barkley is the best player in the NFL and I think that he will, he's gonna change the running back market because it shows that we're going back into a play of game where running the football matters and you can win running.

Dan Campbell is not a 'winner' until he wins a Super Bowl

I'm just not giving him the label of Dan Campbell winner... He's a good coach, but not a winner. [He needs to win a] Super Bowl. That's what I said the first time.

Jalen Hurts will only be 60-70% healthy for the NFC Championship game

Jalen Hurts, if I had to, if I had to make a guess and I'm pretty confident in this guess, I think he will be playing at probably around 60 to 70%.

Losing to PFT and the Commanders in the playoffs is worse than losing to the Chiefs in the Super Bowl

Losing to Hank is worse than losing to PFT... but this is worse [than the Super Bowl]. The Super Bowl was, was the opening of a window and you lose to Mahomes and as much as it sucks it's Patrick Mahomes. [PFT] would have to look at you every single day pretty much for the rest of his life.

Returning punts is the scariest play in football because of the high risk of a game-changing turnover.

Returning punts is the scariest play in football for me. Because I feel that it has to be the highest percentage play of turnover. It's very easy to turn the ball over on a punt and it completely changes the game.

Eagles kicker Jake Elliott is a major issue heading into the divisional round

If I'm being honest, there's one thing that I'm concerned about and that's the kicker. The kicker is a big issue.

I'd rather the Eagles play the Rams than the Vikings next week

If you had to tell me that I had to pick a team, I would, I would pick the Rams. We handled the Rams in that first game. Their defense could not stop at the run... and they would've to travel from LA to Philly in the cold.

Jalen Hurts will be officially out of concussion protocol by Friday morning

By the time that you listen [Friday morning], Jalen Hurts will be out of concussion protocol... he is. They just haven't reported it yet. He doesn't have symptoms. He's good to go.

I like Penn State's chances as underdogs against Notre Dame in the semifinals

I like Penn State's chances. I like that they're dogs. I like that they're dogs in this game. As of right now, they're one and a half point dogs. Opened as dogs. It'll be a good game.

The 76ers are back and Caleb Martin is a 'Celtics killer'

Sixers are back. Everyone knows the NBA starts on Christmas... Caleb Martin might be the Celtic killer. That might be the difference... He has been horrendous this year and all of a sudden shows up on Christmas Day goes seven of nine from three and just buries every single shot against the [Celtics].

If Jalen Hurts plays the whole game, the Eagles definitely win against the Commanders

I don't think that Kenny Pickett is the reason the Eagles lost that game. I think if Jalen Hurts plays the whole game, the Eagles definitely win that game.

Anything less than winning a Super Bowl is a disappointment for the Eagles

A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Anything less than a soupy is a disappointment... Winning a soupy. Gotta win a soupy. Winning a soupy gotta win. It must win.

AJ Brown will definitely score a touchdown this week to disprove the drama rumors

AJ Brown has to be in the touchdown score this week... You know that they're gonna find a way to feed him the ball.

I would rather have a team that finishes fast than starts fast

If I had a choice between starting fast and finishing fast, I, I would choose finishing fast... I love finish fast... [The Eagles] getting out so good at finishing fast. It's actually one of my strengths.

Saquon Barkley will rush for 2,000 yards this season

He needs to average a hundred yards a game... A hundred yards a game is not a problem for Saquon. That's not a problem. [He'll get] 2,000 yards. Yep.

My Super Bowl prediction is the Philadelphia Eagles vs. the Pittsburgh Steelers

I'm gonna go with the best thing for Barstool: Eagles Steelers... the Pennsylvania bowl.

If the Eagles beat the Ravens, they should be the favorites to win the Super Bowl

If they win this game, they're favorites to win the Super Bowl. I'm not gonna overreact one way or the other—actually, no, I will. Oh yes. If they win this game, they're favorites to win the Super Bowl.

Saquon Barkley deserves to be in the MVP conversation

Saquon Barkley deserves to be in the MVP conversation. He's incredible. I mean that is abundantly clear at this point. They're just kicking the shit out of everybody.

The Lions are not clearly better than the Eagles

Everyone's been anointing the Lions the winners of the NFC. I would like to know why, what makes the Lions so much better than the Eagles at this point? What unit is better than the Eagles?

The Philadelphia 76ers will reach 10 wins by Christmas Day

10 wins. 10 wins. Gotta get 10 wins by Christmas. I think you gotta get to 10 wins... eight and five's not that hard. Can find eight wins. 10 wins. 10 wins. Gotta get 10 wins by Christmas.

Jaden Daniels will be a very good NFL quarterback, but rookies don't win Super Bowls

Jaden Daniels will be a very good quarterback in this league. Jaden Daniels is just still a rookie. And that's something that I think was very evident tonight... But Jaden Daniels I don't think is, as a rookie, a Super Bowl winning quarterback. 'Cause no rookies are Super Bowl winning quarterbacks.

I can throw a fastball 64 miles per hour

What how fast do you think my fastest pitch was? [64]. Oh boy. That's gonna be a lot of home runs... I guess [my fastest was 64].

The Eagles really haven't beaten anyone either — their only good wins are the Packers and maybe the Bengals

Eagles really haven't beat anyone either. Depending on who you think about, they obviously the Packers win at the beginning of the year, big win. And depending on what you think of the Bengals, those are the only two good wins.

Villanova head coach Kyle Neptune is a worse coach than Nick Sirianni

I will not say a bad word about Nick Sirianni for the rest of the year... You don't have to watch Kyle Neptune coach basketball. [He is worse than Sirianni] without question. They lose to everyone. He has more... seven [losses to teams above 100 on KenPom] to two for four times as many years.

The only way to successfully approach a doctor's physical is by dieting for three weeks beforehand so they don't yell at you.

I started counting calories this week. I started logging everything. I got a physical three weeks from the day I scheduled it so I could get three weeks of trying to lose weight preseason before I go to the physical... it's not going to be like, holy shit, you're gonna die. It'll just be not as bad.

Juan Soto will sign a contract for a 'stupid amount of money,' potentially worth $700 million

I think he's gonna get 700 million... Yeah, no, I'd like to walk that take back. I think he's gonna get a stupid amount of money. But the fact that the way he's going about it just means that like, yeah, it doesn't, he doesn't give a fuck who's giving him this money.

If the Eagles beat the Cowboys and Commanders, they can beat the Lions

If we go two and oh these next two [Cowboys and Commanders], I'm thinking there's no reason we can't beat the Lions. We can beat the Lions.

Saquon Barkley is on the Christian McCaffrey level

I think it's fair to say that [Saquon Barkley] is on the McCaffrey level of like, he's a running back that can actually make a difference in your offense. He's so good. If they're one-on-one in space, the defense can't do anything.

The 76ers will make the playoffs

They're gonna make the playoffs. Paul George is playing tonight. What are we gonna do five games into the season? They're gonna make the playoffs.

If the Eagles beat the Bengals, they are winning the Super Bowl

If we win this one though, I'm all the way back. Okay. If, if we win this one, I'm thinking soupy.

Lane Johnson, Reggie White, Brian Dawkins, and Jason Kelce are the Mount Rushmore of Eagles players

If I had to pick, I would say Reggie White, Brian Dawkins, Lane Johnson, Jason Kelce. [They] are just legends.

Nobody cares about October basketball

Who gives a fuck about October basketball? ... It matters maybe like 1%.

Nick Sirianni will be fired if the Eagles lose to the Giants

I'll say this right now, if the Eagles lose to the Giants on Sunday, Nick Sirianni will not be coaching the following week. He'll—he will be done. I think he will be fired.

Sean Manaea's new delivery has made him unhittable despite his career stats

Sean Manaea sucked. And then he just did that one thing to switch it up and now no one can hit him. If you're bad, just do that. Everyone on the Phillies had great numbers against Manaea. Everyone on the Dodgers had great numbers against Manaea, but it doesn't matter 'cause he's just a different pitcher this year.

Nick Sirianni and the Eagles will have a mutual parting of ways at the end of the season.

I don't know. I think his time is, I feel like, honestly I feel like it's gonna, at the end of the year be a a mutual, a mutual parting of ways. ... He doesn't like if that's the way you're gonna react to like the fans acting like the fans have acted in Philadelphia for a hundred years.

The Phillies are in a downhill spiral and their window is closed

Philly's lost the game. They looked like shit. It's exact same thing that went on from 2009 to 2011 of the Phillies... and then what I am saying, yes, it is the same thing. Like it is just a downhill spiral with no World Series. There's no hope. There's no hope. And the window's closed for every team.

The Mets are a team of destiny

The Mets are too fucking good. The Mets are really fucking good. They're a team of destiny. I've said it and I'll say it again.

The Cleveland Browns will beat the Philadelphia Eagles

Browns money line. Eagles are bad. The vibe in that stadium is going to be horrendous. They're going to get booed within one incompletion. No one expects anything out of this Eagle's team.

The Phillies are dead and they are a soft baseball team

The Phillies are dead... The Phillies are a soft baseball team. The Mets are a hard baseball team. They're a tough baseball team. They come back from things. And the Phillies just don't, they just die.

The Phillies will lose to the Mets in five games

I mean, it's, it's going to go five. The Phillies are gonna go up 2-1. I'm going be comfortable... then the Mets are gonna have a heroic comeback in game four and then game five, they're just gonna smoke us and it's gonna be, it'll be like 4-0 Mets in game five. That's how it's gonna go.