Takes

Media attention on Moneyball changed how baseball front offices operate by forcing owners to ask more questions

When Moneyball came out, it hit the New York Times bestseller list. And who reads bestsellers like rich dudes on their yachts who are the same guys who own baseball teams? So they all read the book. Then they started looking at their GMs. I was like, what the hell are we doing? ... It was an example of the media kind of changed in the way the game operates because they started asking questions.

Jake Arrieta's 466-foot home run was only possible because of the dry Arizona air

I don't know if you guys know how air works, but it's hot. A little dry heat. The ball carries... The ball carries in Arizona. So yeah. This is just a stupid little witch hunt that's been going on for a long time now.

The 2016 World Series rain delay locker room meeting was the 'all false energy' moment

He [Rajai Davis] hits that home run, and you're like, okay, this is real. Like, the GOAT, Black Cat, 0-3. You're just like, what is going on? Chapman digs deep and gets us to the ninth, and then it's all false energy in the dugout. We're pushing, but it's not where we were before. We go into the weight room. We all come together. It's a little emotional in there.

Everyone needs to stop with the Chicago Cubs dynasty talk; they've only won one World Series

Stop with this dynasty talk. Okay? The dynasty is happening. The dynasty is on. Red Sox fans became insufferable, and now it's the Cub fans... Just get in the tournament, win a game, and get back to me.

Mets spring training is essentially just a timeline update on Tommy John surgeries

It's also a.k.a. just Mets spring training. That's just basically all of Mets spring training is, oh, hey, all of our pitchers are somewhere in the timeline of Tommy John, so let's just update everyone on that.

The Cubs will win a World Series before the Knicks win an NBA championship

Of course the Cubs are going to win one before the Knicks. No, I'm not saying it's this year, but here's the answer to your question straight up. As long as James Dolan is the owner of the Knicks, the Knicks aren't winning shit.

Dan Haren is a genius for joining the Diamondbacks because their pitching can't get worse

Smart move for him to join that team because basically he can just go and fart and be like, oh, they're better. 30th ranked team. So basically, they can't get worse. He can just go pick his nose, fart, listen to Pardon My Take, and they'll, by just the law of averages, get a little bit better.

The Red Sox championship window is currently two to three years

Yeah, it's like two or three years. ... Luckily, their third best pitcher [Rick Porcello] just won the Cy Young.

The Cubs do not win the World Series without Kyle Schwarber

I mean, the Cubs don't win the World Series without Kyle Schwarber. No, it's absolutely a fact. I think he had 10 hits.

I made a 'boatload' of money betting the over on the Cubs' total and the Cubs money line in Game 7

I made some coin on my bookie last night on the Cubs. Had the over on the Cubs total, and I had the Cubs winning outright money line. So I'm basically bathing in money right now.

The 2016 World Series is engineered for the Cubs to win in seven games

I think that this has all been engineered behind the scenes, and you're going to be the one that reaps all the rewards. So congratulations in advance on tonight's World Series champion, your 2016 Chicago Cubs.

I am 70% confident that the Cubs will force a Game 7 in the World Series

I'm 70% confident that the Cubs can get to Game 7. [Then] Game 7 is 50-50. Game 7 is a coin flip.

There would be no World Series champion if the season ended today

If the season ended today, we're taping this before the Cubs game, if the season ended today, there would be no World Series champion.

The Cubs will win the World Series in seven games

I'm going to say Cubs in seven. The Indians are tougher than you think, man. They're pretty good. The tough thing with the Indians is if they get a lead on you with Shaw and then obviously Miller can go two innings and Cody Allen. So basically if they get through five innings with a lead, you're in bad shape.

Kyle Schwarber can successfully return and hit home runs in the World Series after six months off

If anybody can do it, it would be [Schwarber] to step back, just to step up after a year off or not even a year, like six months off and be able to hit bombs. It would be him. He will not overthink it. That's impossible.

October 22nd is the most significant date in Chicago Cubs history

October 22nd, 2016, the Cubs clinched the NLCS. October 22nd, 2011, the Cubs hired Theo Epstein. October 22nd, 1970, the man behind the Billy Goat curse died. October 22nd is a big-time sabermetrics date in Cubs history now.

The Cubs are not dead

The Cubs are not dead. We're not panicking. But they did get the shit kicked out of them by the Dodgers in L.A. Not much else to say. Rich Hill was fantastic. You just got to wait for the bats to come alive.

The Cubs are going to win the World Series

When I wake up on Monday morning, I will get back to being confident about this Cubs team. Right now, Cubs are going to win the World Series.

Kris Bryant is an underrated base runner and is actually elite at it despite his lack of speed

Kris Bryant, underrated base runner. People say that. He may not be fast, but he's a hell of a base runner. So say that.

The Dodgers are a weaker team than the Nationals

The Dodgers are coming to Wrigley Field. I do think the Dodgers are a weaker of the two teams. Slash, I didn't want to see Daniel Murphy again.

Even-year bullshit is dead now that the Giants have been eliminated

Welcome to Pardon My Take. It is Wednesday, October 12th. And even-year bullshit is dead... Let me tell you something about even-year bullshit. It's bullshit.

The Giants' bullpen was destined to blow up eventually

The Giants blew a record amount of saves this year. Their bullpen was shaky all year. They were going to blow up at some point.

I am 85% confident the Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

I'm like for overall World Series... 85% [confident].

The Indians logo is back on the hot seat because the team is actually winning

Hot seat, Indians logo. They're going to be in the ALCS, and that means the Indians logo is going to be on the hot seat again... If you stay bad, no one cares that your logo is offensive.

The Cubs are going to win the World Series as long as nothing crazy happens

They're the best team at baseball. As long as nothing crazy happens, they're going to win the World Series.

The Boston Red Sox are effectively dead in the playoffs

It is Friday, October 7th, and the Boston Red Sox are dead. They're not dead, but Buck Showalter had to be very confused watching Terry Francona manage that game because Andrew Miller and Cody Allen pitched 40 pitches each.

Cubs fans should be scared of Madison Bumgarner in the NLDS

Man, I don't know. I'm scared for the Cubs. I'm serious. The problem with playing the Giants for the Cubs' sake is you really need to win the first two games. Ideal situation would be not going back to San Francisco in a 1-1 series and having to face Bumgarner.

Jake Arrieta is spraying his fastball around more than usual and is cause for worry

I'm a little worried about the way he's throwing the ball. It seems a little wild... he just seems kind of spraying his – it seems to me he sprays his fastball around a little more than usual... it's led to him getting into more like two and three, one counts.

Kyle Hendricks will do really well in the postseason

Kyle Hendricks obviously had an unbelievable season. The playoffs are a different beast... Should I be worried at all about that? No, he will do. He's going to do really well... he's added a little bit to his arsenal... He's going to be good.

The Dodgers will beat the Nationals in the NLDS

Who do you have in the Dodgers National Series? I have the Dodgers. Even though Kershaw? What about Kershaw? He's fine.

Buck Showalter is a moron for not using Zach Britton in the Wild Card game

Buck Showalter is a moron. Or Zach Britton's hurt. We're all sitting here wondering why Ubaldo Jimenez with his 5.44 ERA was pitching. Zach Britton, his ERA, .54. Best in the big leagues. And he was being saved for game two. Either Zach Britton is hurt or he's just saving him for some random game that doesn't exist.

The Chicago Cubs will win the World Series

I love him to death [Addison Russell], and he's going to win a World Series.

A small part of me is afraid of what happens to my identity if the Cubs actually win the World Series.

There's like a 1% of my brain that doesn't fully know what to do if the Cubs actually won the World Series. If they don't win, our identity is still intact. I'm the dog chasing a car and I don't know what I would do if I caught it.

I am confident enough in the Cubs to book flights for the NLCS early

We are booking our flights to go to Chicago for NLCS game one and two. No chance this backfires on you at all. No chance.

The Chicago Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

I'd like to say congratulations to the 2016, um, world series champion Chicago Cubs. All right, well, congrats to the future World Series champions.

The Chicago Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

I'm happy for you that in about a month from now, you're going to be celebrating a world's championship on the north side... It's impossible to fathom you guys not getting to the World Series. And then from there, momentum will carry you through.

I don't watch the game if the ball is out of the infield because of my bad eyes

I don't sit in bleacher seats. That's what the common people say... I have bad eyes, so I can't see that far. If it's out of the infield, I don't see it. I have to listen to the crowd.

The Royals' praying mantis should be burned to kill their team's mojo

I'm just saying it'd be a real shame if someone snuck into their dugout and dropped a match in there and watched the, what's it, a terrarium? ... If you're trying to get rid of their mojo... That's a direct correlation.

Tim Tebow does not have a chance to make it in the Major Leagues

I i love to root for tebow i'd love to see love to see him get it done but i i don't know if that's possible

Giancarlo Stanton's season-ending injury is definitive proof of the Home Run Derby curse

He had the home run derby curse... so we actually predicted this. Not to brag, but we called it. Like a month ago, we said whoever's going to win is going to be out for the rest of the season. So sometimes it's tough to keep track of how right we are all the time.

Prince Fielder will finish his career with the exact same number of home runs as his father

If Prince Fielder never plays another Major League Baseball game, he will end his career with 319 home runs. Same amount of home runs as Cecil Fielder.

The Cleveland Indians won't win the World Series this year

The Indians, they're not going to win the World Series this year.

The Cleveland Indians' name and logo will face massive media scrutiny now that the team is successful and in the spotlight

I have a prediction, though, because the [Indians] are now officially going for it with the Andrew Miller trade. We're going to get a lot of think pieces about the Indians logo. It's going to happen. The Indians are about to get [redskinned].

The 2016 Cubs have all the key ingredients to win the World Series

I think that everything is in place right now for them to do very well. Without a doubt, they're going to be the team to beat. I think they have the key ingredients is how well and how they can handle that stage... hopefully this is the time.

If Giancarlo Stanton's home run derby balls were people's heads, he'd be arrested for mass murder

If all those balls that Giancarlo Stanton had been hitting in the home run derby were actually people's heads, he would be arrested for murder. Mass murder. He'd basically be worse than Jeffrey Dahmer.

Zack Hample Is Jeffrey Maier With A Blog

Zack you a joke, I'll put you down like a dog. You Jeffrey Maier with a blog.

Marlins Man's Mouth Is Always Behind The Plate

Problem is your mouth always behind the plate.

The Cubs will trade for a relief pitcher and it will cost them a significant asset

The Cubs probably need to get a reliever. Maybe the Schwarber for Andrew Miller thing happens... I'm pretty certain they're going to add an arm in the bullpen, and it's going to take a lot to get one of those guys.

Giancarlo Stanton will win the 2016 Home Run Derby

I have the artist formerly known as Mike Stanton... ooh, plus 365, the favorite.

The Chicago Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

If you were to pick the World Series right now, it sounds like the Cubs. Would you say the Cubs right now or somebody else? Yeah, I would say the Cubs.