Takes

I will finish Justin Gaethje within the first three rounds at UFC 324

We're not gonna see championship rounds... he's getting finished in the first three. I'd love to knock him out. You know what I mean? With a cartwheel kick or something. Something spectacular.

Jake Paul will get destroyed by Anthony Joshua in their upcoming replacement fight

Jake Paul found a replacement fight for the [Gervonta] Tank Davis fight that got canceled, but it's Anthony Joshua this time. Former heavyweight champion. He's gonna get fucked up. ... Anthony Joshua could just starch him.

Dustin Poirier will not stay retired and will fight again

I never believe it. Because then they, you know, they, they get arrested, they get healthy and they're like, ah, I could, I could do one more fight. I could make, you know, a nice payday doing another fight.

Conor McGregor will return to the UFC in the fall of 2025

Hopefully Conor McGregor returns in the, in the fall Okay. Of this year.

The UFC is working on a major fight for the fall that nobody will see coming

What I was talking about in December... I would imagine it's probably gonna happen and it's gonna happen in the fall, a fight that I'm working on... [And we'll never see it coming] Nope.

Mike Tyson is in a dark, 'no fucks given' place and might actually beat Jake Paul

That tells me Mike Tyson is, he is locked in right now. He's in a dark, no fucks given place right now. He's just [talking to a kid about death]... it actually does make me think that Mike Tyson might be able to do it.

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson is going to be Billy vs Canseco — a huge disappointment where the older fighter gets hurt early

I feel like these fights are always disappointing. And this one I still feel like it will be. But that quote got me fired up and I am hoping I go on social media and see [Tyson] knock him the fuck out. It's gonna be Billy versus Canseco.

Alex Pereira will win his next UFC fight

[Alex Pereira] is very fun to watch. He's going, I think he's gonna win.

UFC 303: Conor McGregor vs. Michael Chandler is in serious jeopardy of being canceled

There was supposed to be a scheduled press conference for UFC 303 that got postponed on Monday... It's not looking great for UFC 303 unless this is all a work. [McGregor] is on the Hot Seat.

Conor McGregor will lose to Michael Chandler in his return fight

I love this energy. I think he's probably gonna lose to Michael Chandler. But I like the fact that Conor McGregor just like us is like, it's Memorial Day weekend. Like diet starts Tuesday. Fight camp starts Tuesday.

Mark Zuckerberg would easily tap out Elon Musk in a fight due to his Jiu-Jitsu training

Zuck would just tap him out... Zuck knows Juujitsu and it wouldn't be that good unless Elon's an insane striker and can keep him off him... The learning curve on Juujitsu is like, Zuckerberg's been through like he knows how to swim. Like he knows how to tap a guy out.

Jorge Masvidal will come out of retirement

Masvidal retired. Yeah, he did... He'll be back. I mean he was a undercard on Kimbo Slice's backyard fights... Backyard brawls. Like what career?

Oleksandr Usyk will beat Tyson Fury when they fight for the unified heavyweight title

I actually think Usyk could beat Fury. That's why I think Fury's been trying to duck him for the big belt, for the all the belts.

I'm going to beat Billy McFarland in a fight, and it's going to be a public execution.

I'm gonna beat his ass. Gonna skull fuck him. It's gonna be sick. This is gonna be a public execution. He's gonna be a Christian in the Colosseum and he's gonna get fed to the lion.

Israel Adesanya vs. Alex Pereira could be one of the greatest fights ever if Adesanya is aggressive

Israel Adesanya... has never lost at 185 pounds, but as a kickboxer he lost twice to this man [Alex Pereira] and once was knocked out rather violently. ... If he approaches this with a more aggressive tenor, this could be one of the greatest fights of all time.

I will transition from MMA to professional boxing after my UFC career

And I was just saying today on the bay when I move over to box and after I finish MMA... A hundred percent. Yeah. I've just always had it in me. I would always come back... if I ever have [achieved what I can in MMA], I'm ready for boxing.

I will knock out Jeff Nadu in the second round with a body shot

Game plan is to come out and put the pressure on right away and back him up and have him on the defense, the whole fight and run around the ring and cut off the corners... and just bodywork. And once he drops those hands, it's lights out... Second round knockout, second round knockout, a body shot.

Kamaru Usman will go down as the GOAT if he stays on his current trajectory

I just think Usman, he's the pound-for-pound best fighter in the world right now. And I think he's going to probably end up going down as the GOAT, man, if he keeps on this trajectory. I mean, he's lapping these guys right now.

Tommy Fury will knock Jake Paul clean out

I think it'll be a big buildup, a lot of talking, a lot of promotional stuff. But I think in the end, Tommy knocks him clean out.

Jake Paul will never fight a real boxer who is actually his size

The thing is he can fight Tommy fury next. Knock it out. No, he will not [fight] someone his size... [and he's] a really good boxer.

Bobby Laing will knock out Pacman Jones

I'll tell you right now? I think you're going to get knocked out... I bet you a thousand dollars. All right. All right. So he'll win. I'm saying Bobby Laing will [win].

I will defeat Bobby Laing at Rough and Rowdy 15

The main thing I'm thinking about whooping Bobby, making sure my hand getting pulled up at the end of the belt and collecting my thousand dollars now that I know between you guys... Bobby is a bull and I'm going to be the bull master.

I am going to defeat Bobby Laing and then continue fighting in Rough N' Rowdy

I think this is going to be my platform... I'm going to win the fight, but this is not my, this is my first fight, man... if you asked me, will this be my one and last fight? Answer is no.

Logan Paul will catch Floyd Mayweather once, and that will wake Floyd up

I think that Logan is going to catch him once. I think he's going to catch him one time. And then that'll wake Floyd up. Because remember, we saw the Mayweather-McGregor fight a few years ago. Same type of thing happened.

I am going to make people know who Jeremy Smith is for once by fighting him.

I'm going to box. I'm going to fight. I'm going to make people know who the fuck Jeremy Smith is for once. ... and I'm going to make some money.

You have to pick Jeremy 'Dynamite' Smith over Hornswoggle in Rough and Rowdy 14

After hearing [Hornswoggle] talk about the fight, when looking at the play Barstool, you have to pick between him or Dynamite. You got to pick Dynamite. Especially after the Ben Askren thing.

I will fight Darren Rovell anytime, anywhere for zero dollars.

My Fyre Fest is that Darren Rovell doesn't look like he's going to fight me anymore... I told Barstool, I said, 'I will do it for zero dollars.' And I removed all stipulations. Anytime, anywhere, I will fight Darren Rovell. Anytime, anywhere. He just loves being talked about... The only thing I will say is anytime, anywhere, if he wants to fight me, I will show up and I will kick his ass and I will do it with a smile on my face.

I will beat Billy Football easily in our Rough and Rowdy fight

He's going to beat you? Yes. Would you like to put a side bet on that? ... Five grand that I beat him easily. ... If he runs from me, I'm not going to chase him.

I'll take a dive tomorrow if you guarantee me A-Rod in the ring

If you guarantee me I can fight A-Rod here in Barstool, I will take a dive tomorrow. That's how bad I want that punk bitch.

I am going to 'skull fuck' Jose Canseco in our fight

I'm going to skull fuck him. ... I'm absolutely going to skull fuck him. No doubt. He's tiny. I mean, yeah, he looks big. He's 270 pounds. But I just care about the frame. He has a smaller frame than I thought.

I am guaranteeing that I will enter 'Berserker Mode' during my fight with Jose Canseco

I'm guaranteeing berserker mode... It's this sort of being where you use your mind to get your body into a total higher element of operation... I've been really studying this whole training camp, how to get myself in the zone and get in berserker mode. And you're going to see it tonight.

I am going to 'skull fuck' Jose Canseco with my fists

My hot seat is Jose Canseco. I'm going to skull fuck him with my fists.

I am an absolute weapon and I'm going to give 180 seconds of hell to Jose Canseco

I'm fucking gonna go balls to the wall... I'm an absolute weapon... I can get hit. I can look like I'm about to die when I'm a zombie. Keep coming.

I will out-muscle Jose Canseco in our boxing match

I knew I was going to out-muscle [Jose Canseco], if anything. So I've just been training speed, punch, output, that sort of stuff, footwork... I am going to kill this guy legitimately.

The only way I lose to Jose Canseco is in some messed up split decision

The only way I lose to Canseco is in some fucked up split decision. Even if I lose, I'm not going to get knocked out in the first 30 seconds. No, I'm not losing.

I am going to kick Jose Canseco's ass

I'm going to fucking kick his ass... I'm going to fuck him up. No, yeah, you are. Dude, I've hit the point in my athlete-to-weapon transition where it's like, the only way to win and to get this guy to stop punching me is I have to punch him harder to make him quit.

I will 'wipe Jose Canseco off the face of the earth' and force him to retire from public life

If I beat up Jose Canseco and he loses his fight, I don't see how he can even show his face in public again. So I'm literally wiping him off the face of the earth. We're never going to hear from him again.

Dana White is going to honey-pot UFC streamers with virus-infected links

Dana White says he has a special surprise for anyone who pirates his UFC... I bet he is going to send out a bunch of troll links... all infected with viruses. So he makes people scared. It's like a landmine.

Billy Football will fight Jose Canseco as my champion in a trial by combat

I have found a champion in my place. Learn the Game of Thrones, Jose. Ever heard of it? My champion is Billy Football. I will have him fight in lieu of me... Billy is fighting for my honor.

I will officially retire from wrestling in a couple of years

I have an expiration date on my wrestling days and it's a couple of years from now because of the slow pace that I'm going at it right at this moment.

The Mike Tyson vs Roy Jones Jr. exhibition fight is going to suck

The Tyson fight, I can tell you right now, I'm going to spoil it for you. It's gonna suck and we're all going to pay way too much money to watch two old dudes go around the ring and throw jabs at each other.

I'm pre-mad about how much the Mike Tyson vs. Roy Jones Jr. fight is going to suck

Mike Tyson is back. He's going to fight Roy Jones Jr. in September... I'm going to buy this fight... and it's going to suck. It's going to be sadder than the Kimbo Slice Dada 5000 fight. This is going to without a question suck and I'm going to get so excited for it.

Conor McGregor is not retired for good and will likely return to the octagon next year

I don't think that Conor has retired for good but... I think Conor's is going to take some time and and sit back and figure out who's next, you know, and it probably won't be till next year.

Conor McGregor will be out of retirement by October or November to fight Khabib

But I'm sure he's not coming back. No way. In like October. No chance. Or November. Whenever Khabib's next up to fight him.

Conor McGregor will defeat Cowboy Cerrone at UFC 246

Connor versus Cowboy. I'm going to go with Connor in this one.

Conor McGregor will return on January 18th against Donald 'Cowboy' Cerrone

I think it's going to be January 18th our first pay-per-view of 2020 in Las Vegas, Nevada. I mean he has hinted at that date other Fighters have hinted that he has contracts in hand. So I'm hopeful for January... I think Cerrone he's probably got the inside track.

If I fight again, it will not be in the UFC

If I do fight again, I'm sure it won't be in the UFC. I don't think it should be either.

I can still fight for a couple more years

I can still fight a couple years. I have no problem. I'm so thankful to God because He gave me this favor, good health, protected me from all harms.

If Anthony Joshua loses the rematch to Andy Ruiz Jr., his career is unrecoverable

If Anthony Joshua loses the second time to Andy Ruiz, I don't know how it's recoverable... I don't believe that it would be a stunner if Andy Ruiz is able to do it and repeat what he saw Saturday.

Conor McGregor will never fight in boxing again

In boxing, no, unless it's some sad story 30 years from now. But no, not in boxing.