Takes

Announcers need to stop saying 'asterisk' on wins

I don't know why it's become a thing that announcers are now saying asterisk. They did it for the Lions game too. Tarico did the asterisk for No Kelsey, Chris Jones. And then last night they're like, well, asterisk there was tripping on the part return. Who the fuck cares. The Wind's a win.

Jason Garrett is a total buzzkill on the broadcast

There's no better way to kill your football buzz than having Jason Garrett call the game... I know it was week zero. I know there's only like seven games. They all, they all mean something to me. And then Jason Garrett was on there and I immediately fell in a nap in the second quarter.

Phil Mickelson is not one of the most famous people in the world

Joe Rogan, Pardon My Take, Tiger Woods, like is whatever it is. A million X Phil in terms of, you know, celebrity and recognizability. ... I wouldn't say that if Phil Mickelson was walking down the street, do you think he would get stopped endlessly? I don't think endlessly.

I don't think any of the content on Pardon My Take changed while the company was owned by Penn

In terms of the content of this show, I don't think we changed anything. Did we, PFT? ... It's just been how we've talked about gambling, which I understand that was part of the, the rules And it made sense for to, to make sure that we talked about gambling the correct way under pen.

Serena Williams did more for tennis than Tiger Woods did for golf

She did more than Tiger Woods did for golf.

Everyone gaslights me into thinking I play golf all the time

You gaslight people into thinking I play all the time. [Big Cat asks: how many times this week?]. Two... I just picked up a little hobby, something to do on the side. Everyone in all these comments are like, oh someone that plays golf so much, you suck, you suck. You assholes have somehow got it in a world where I don't even want to play golf because I just know people are gonna be mean to me.

Silence is the most powerful tool a broadcaster has

I think so there have been times in my career, and that's 20 plus years ago, there are times in my career where you realize silence is the most powerful tool you have to let the natural sounds come over at television, which, you know, I think I've been pretty respectful of over the years.

The MLB Fantasy Draft we recorded is the worst thing we've ever done

I think it's without a doubt the worst thing that we've ever done. Yeah. It's just, it's just guys saying names and then most of the names have already been said before.

Hot Ones is an AI-proof show format because robots cannot feel pain or spice.

I actually think that your show might be AI proof because AI can't eat, it can't feel spice. It can't feel pain. Right.

Internet shows fail when they try to mimic the high-production look of TV.

I always think that as when people try to do internet shows that look like TV shows, they fail. Right. Because the internet, there should be a little bit more, there shouldn't be as much of a barrier between you and the audience.

Toronto is a bad sports town

Toronto was a bad sports town. Although, you know, he, he... That's just Canadians out. They, they gotta, Canadians gotta pass... They can't win a fucking Stanley Cup. And it's their sport.

Debating Skip Bayless every day is the worst job in America

I think it might be the worst job in America to debate Skip Bayless every day... Skip's not gonna pick someone who can go toe to toe with him. Skip's gonna pick someone that he can knock out in like the fifth round every single day. I really do think it might be the worst job in America.

Ohio is the most underrated state for comedy

I'd say the most underrated state for comedy is Ohio. Ohio just has a crazy amount of clubs for me and my like, like what I prefer with like audiences. It's all blue collar pretty much... Columbus and a, and a kill great club. Cleveland's got a great club. Cincinnati's got a great club.

Barstool Van Talk was going to be a hit TV show

Barstool Van Talk was gonna be a hit TV show. And as I poured over the 18 to 34 demo results of that first episode, that was a hit TV show. So that was the one that got away.

Jim Nantz's defense of Tony Romo suggests there is actually friction between them

I read the quote to you and you tell me if you think there was any smoke to the fire that everyone was talking about... Me think it's the lady doth protest too much... That's like, I'm not mad. Don't say that. I was mad. Please don't write in the newspaper that I was mad.

I would rather watch March Madness 100 times out of 100 over the WBC

If you tell me, would you rather watch World Baseball Classic or March Madness? I'd say March Madness a hundred times out of a hundred times.

The New York media ruins Jets quarterbacks by sensationalizing negative news to gain clicks.

The New York media sensationalizes quarterbacks' performances to gain clicks and remain competitive in the big media market. Amplification of negative news and critiques elicits greater responses from the consumers, leading to a lack of confidence in the fan base, ultimately resulting in a destructive impact on the team and the quarterback's confidence.

Full Swing gets 3.5 balls out of 5

I give it three and a half balls... I think you could get to four and a half balls if you just had Patrick Reed in it.

Sahith Theegala's episode of Full Swing was my favorite

Sahith [Theegala] was my favorite. He was my favorite story and episode. His dad was awesome... when he messed up on 17, that was the most emotional I got.

Terry Bradshaw should retire from sports media

I think it might be time for Terry Bradshaw to hang it up. He, he, he looked a little lost on the stage and he also said, Hey big guy to Andy Reid, why don't you waddle on over here? Yeah. To get the Lombardi.

I would easily have the #1 sports podcast if it was my only outlet

If I did a sports podcast and I didn't have any other outlets—all you, the only way you could find me was to come to my podcast—oh please, I would, I mean, I'd easily be number one then.

Jim Nantz's plan to retire from calling games but still do the trophy presentation is bullshit

I think this is kind of horse shit what he's doing. I think you have to either get out the Final four or all the way. Yeah. Or you're in it all the way. Yeah. You can't just say, I'm not gonna announce the game, but then kick it to me for the trophy presentation and that's kind of bullshit.

Dude Perfect's $100 million facility is the official tipping point of the American empire's decline

Dude Perfect is building a hundred million dude facility in somewhere in Texas... I think we're gonna look back on this in the history books... as signs of American decline. Why did this Empire Fall? No, it was [Dude Perfect] building a giant monument to themselves in central Texas to the tune of 150 million. That is the tipping point of our society as a whole.

The 'He is Him' phrase is being overused in the NFL

I think there's too many hymns right now. It's like church. There's a lot of them. There's a lot of 'em going around. I think, you know, if everybody's great. Nobody's great. So we gotta, I there's gotta be a new word.

I will watch the in-season Hard Knocks in April because I already have in-season football content now

I'll probably watch the in season Hard Knocks in like maybe April after the NCAA tournament. That's when I'll go back and I'll rewatch the football content. But now like I have in season Hard Knocks already, it's called NFL football.

Al Michaels does not have a 'Thursday night voice'

I don't think he brings too much gravitas to Thursday night. Well, he doesn't have a Thursday night voice, especially... He's got a Sunday night or a Monday night voice. He does not have a Thursday night voice. There are certain people that have Thursday night voices out there. Al Michaels, no. I do not want to hear him on a week... I don't want to have to go to work for a full another day before the weekend when I hear Al Michaels' voice.

The Denver airport is the worst one we have reviewed so far

I'm just gonna say it... I take Indy airport and Madison airport over this airport. [PFT: It's in last place.] It's firm last place. That's new power rankings are out.

Vin Scully is the best play-by-play broadcaster of all time

Yeah, no, definitely. He is the best play-by-play broadcaster of all time. He has moments that you could put in a dictionary. Like you could fill a dictionary with just thousands of pages... If I could have 1% of the success that he had, that would be a successful career. He is the best ever.

We are getting ripped off because guests aren't paying us $50,000 to appear on the podcast

We're getting ripped off as a podcast because that came out yesterday saying that people are paying up to $50,000 to appear on podcast. No one's ever even approached us and asked us to pay for coming on our podcast. In fact, it's only been the other way around... We should start billing people that have already been on the show.

We are actively trying to never be nominated for a Sports Emmy unless it is for the John Cena interview

We are actively trying to never be nominated for everything... if they wanna nominate us and only do it on our John Cena interview, we're in.

Stephen A. Smith taking a month off for a shoulder injury in August is a 'soft move'

Stephen A. Smith is, but I do think, I do think he's talking about anything because he's taking the entire fucking month of August off with his shoulder injury, because he's not man enough to go on the air in August and talk about sports. This is, this is actually what really separates the good take Smiths from the bad ones. ... this is a soft move by Steven A. Smith.

People want to tear down Adam Schefter's legacy because they hate winning

The other thing is always in life when someone has success and when someone wins, people want to tear him down. He's making reportedly $9 million a year. He gets every scoop. He has every contact. People hate that people hate winning. They want to tear down winners. They want to tear down Adam Schefter's legacy.

This D&D episode is the greatest podcasting ever done

It is maybe the greatest podcasting ever done. And I'm just going to say it, podcasting ever done. I think I'd say that if Game of Thrones creators had had a last season that was half as good as this, then everyone would have critical acclaim of it.

Pac-Man is the greatest arcade game of all time

The game of the century announced on the Tokyo game show in 1999? And that would be the one that I would have to choose. Pac-Man. Pac-Man was also the first game inducted into the video game hall of fame.

The new NCAA Football video game should be simple for the 'common man'

I just hope they make the game for the common man and not for like the dudes that are playing for like a million dollars... I want it for the regular guy who's going to play, you know, a couple hours at night when they get home from work.

Blogging was easier in the early 2010s because there were fewer bloggers and more unique topics

I think you blogged a different era. I will say... I mean, there was less bloggers and there was more topics to blog she could get... I mean, there was less bloggers and there was more topics.

Bill Belichick would win a PLL title within three seasons if he coached

I feel like [Bill Belichick] would win in the first three seasons of coaching [in the PLL], if not sooner. I mean, I don't think he really coaches football. He just coaches human beings... I think he understands the nuance of sports and blueprint of winning better than anyone... you listen to Bill Belichick coach you on lacrosse and you're bought in.

The new iMessage 'undo send' feature will empower gaslighters

The iMessage app in iOS 16 is getting a new undo send feature as well as the ability to edit chats. You've already sent in. Mark threads is unread. So rip to all the young people out there who are going to be getting gaslighted or say, like, I never said that.

Professional darts is a better spectator sport than Lacrosse

[Darts] might be ahead of lacrosse as the sport of the future. ... I don't think there's any event that's happened that this usher has seen 54 people come in at one time... It exceeded my expectations. Like it was, it was a great time. It was a good viewing experience.

Podcasting is the biggest scam of all time

I honestly think podcasting is. I mean, we're really pulling the biggest scam of all time over on people. This is complete bullshit. You know what I mean? Like, and, but it takes no effort. If you happen to know how to fucking talk, you just fucking waltz into an easy, like, we kind of all hit a lottery here.

The NHL is currently much better than the NBA

Basically what we can take away from these hockey playoffs is that NHL is way better than the NBA right now. The hockey games have been incredible.

The six-second limit on Vine forced creativity in a way longer formats don't

I miss Vine, man... just that parameter, like kind of forces you to do stuff that you normally wouldn't try because you're restricted. You producers produce content that had to have a beginning, a middle and an end and be engaging and entertaining within a six second time period was actually good for creativity.

Skip Bayless definitely has burner accounts on Twitter

This is proof. Skip Bayless has burners. I've got a mission now for the next three weeks, which would be to find, skip Bayless's burners and see what the takes that he puts out on the burn. The ones that like, he doesn't think are ready for prime time yet the ones that he's testing out.

Music is a deeper passion for me than acting

If I had to pick [between acting and music]... I would go with the band. I had to.

Joe Rogan is not a racist

I know him to be a lot of things. A racist is not what he is. I can promise you that. He's a lot of things. Trust me. I don't, the guy's fucking flawed. Like all of us... My dad says, I'm very proud of the son I raised that you will be a loyal to a friend in a moment like this.

The best sideline reporting happens when I act as a 'spy' for the broadcast

I like to think I'm a spy on the field... get a camera to Aaron Donald, he's just going off on the sideline... or Antonio Brown kind of, you know, doing something with his leg... The important thing is... the shit you don't hear from me, but I can get the camera and tell our producer and director. I love it. I got off on it.

Producing live events with athletes is like 'corralling cats'

I have a producer in my ear yelling at me... I have a little bit of a like corralling cats and kindergarten teacher. Like, you need to sit down, you need to be quiet... I'm trying to keep this live event moving and mind you there's like alcohol involved.

Adam Schefter's sentimental Matthew Stafford/OBJ photoshop made no sense

I have a whose back of the week is stupid tweets that try to be sentimental because Adam Schefter's tweet after super bowl makes no sense. He said to all those who said it couldn't be done, and it's a picture of Eli Manning, Calvin Johnson, Jarvis Landry, looking on as Matthew Stafford and OBJ celebrate the super bowl.

Athletes only get into fights at 'nightclubs,' never at 'bars'

Have you ever noticed that when it's an athlete getting into a bar fight, it's always a nightclub. Yeah. And it's never like, they never just say like at a bar it's like at, at a local nightclub establishment.

Tony Romo is a wildly overrated broadcaster

We've never been more right. About anything in the history of this podcast than we are about Tony Romo. America has finally come around to what we were getting made fun of four or five years ago. I just think he's wildly overrated... The guy is too much on a broadcast. He doesn't let it breathe.