Takes

Jason Kelce will drink over 20 beers on the day of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift's wedding

My prediction. I think that Jason Kelce is going to drink over 20 beers on the day of the wedding... I think he might drink over 20 before he even does the best man speech.

Zelda: Ocarina of Time is the best video game ever made

We are gonna go Zelda: Ocarina of Time... widely known as the best game ever... It's like known as being the best game ever.

Happy Gilmore 2 was just a nostalgia blast rather than a good movie

I thought it was exactly what I expected going in and that it wasn't the best movie. It was nostalgia. There was a shitload of cameos. I laughed a few times and I went away being like, okay, that was fun.

Mark Twain was fundamentally a 'bummed out guy'.

Almost done with Chernow's latest opus thousand pages on Mark Twain... Bummed out guy though, man... That's not your takeaway. Mark Twain not so happy. Bummed out guy.

The show 'The Librarians: The Next Chapter' looks like the dumbest show of all time

The librarians, the next chapter. They're showing these commercials in all these games. It like it. I can't believe it's a real show that is being made. It looks like this is the best whose guy ever dumb this fucking show of all time.

The WWE Championship is essentially a de-facto office position with leadership responsibilities

What I really quickly found out is that it is almost a de-facto position in the office. It's a bigger position than just man and tights wrestling. There's a layer of responsibility, like a team captain. And especially for being a good guy character, to have the title this long is rather unheard of because everyone just tries to murder you every week.

Binging a TV show is much better than watching it week-by-week

This is my big, i I like binging shows. I like just diving right into 'em. I don't know how people can watch a show like I gave up on House of Dragon. Yeah. Because I watched the first season and then it was four years and I was like, I don't remember fucking shit. I'm out.

Shredder and the Ninja Turtles appear in every episode together but never actually kill each other

If you've ever watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Shredder is in every episode. The Ninja Turtles are in like every episode. They never actually kill each other. They just fight.

AC/DC should be the next Super Bowl halftime show performer.

I'm gonna agree with our good friend Michael Greer. He has a great idea for the next halftime show. AC DC. AC DC at halftime would fucking rock... just banger after banger.

Paul Walter Hauser should play Andy Reid in a movie about the coach's life

One [project] would be him [Paul Walter Hauser] playing Andy Reid in the Andy Reid story. I think he'd crush that.

I would have made more money than any actor in history if I had accepted the lead in 'Avatar'

I had a chance to be in Avatar... I probably would've made more money than any actor in history had I taken the part... It was 10% of the total earnings from the film... All I know is it made over 3 billion.

Swifties are the number one hobby that becomes an entire personality

Obviously my one one or I guess one two Swifties. I mean, they're the cra they're the number one. Yeah. Right now they're the number one. Yeah. That is their hobby. That becomes their entire personality. Swifties If. you If you see a swifty online. That's all they want to talk about is Swifties.

The world needs straight comedy movies that aren't trying to be serious or deep

I see the movies coming out that are kind of comedies and I watch 'em. I feel like they're mid and lacking in comedy... When you put a comedy on, you drop your guard, right? Yeah. When you put on like The Hangover or some shit... And I'm ready to just immerse in this last year.

Ludacris should have a 'Lud Bowl' halftime show performing all his features

I think that they should do a Lud Bowl halftime show where it's Ludacris. It goes out and he performs like all of his features with all the other artists that have had him on their songs.

The rivalry with Sylvester Stallone made both of them more successful and drove them to improve

Stallone by being so good made me better. So he gets, it's kind of like a competition. If you go to the Olympics and you're the only one that is running the a hundred meter sprint, you know, you're not gonna get the performance out of it as if, if a bunch of guys are chasing you. And so it's always kind of the competition that creates performance.

The Eminem song 'FACK' is the worst song of all time

I downloaded Eminem's song. Fac. FACK And it is maybe the worst song of all time, right? It's, it's so bad. I actually do think it's the worst song of all time.

Books are always better than the movies

Michael Lewis books—always better than the movie. Big Short? Ever heard of it? Moneyball? Ever heard of it? Blindside? Books are always better than the movie.

Bob Barker is the GOAT game show host

In my mind the GOAT game show host. Yeah. I mean I know Trebek... Trebek's great. It was, it was the GOAT game show. Right. And he was the host for so long... Just the perfect amount of kind of horny, you know, made sure that everyone got their pets spayed and neutered would get a little pissed off when people were dumb. He just was the best.

Jersey Shore is the most iconic reality TV show ever

If the debate is Jersey Shore versus Vanderpump Rules... Jersey Shore was like guys and girls liked Jersey Shore parties. There is no Vanderpump without Jersey Shore.

Melissa McCarthy is one of the most underrated comedic actresses of the last 20 years

Melissa McCarthy's very funny. One of the most underrated comedic actresses of the last 20 years.

Man on Fire is the perfect plane movie

You know what this is? It's also a perfect plane movie. If you're looking to kill, go like a three hour plane ride, man on fire every time. And you can watch it every time you're on a plane.

Bloodsport is one of the best action movies ever made.

I give Bloodsport a five balls. I love this movie. I'll always love this movie. It is a mandatory watch if you like action movies. It's the best.

Connor Roy was the only sibling with a real relationship with Logan Roy

Connor, that scene when they had the virtual dinner with dad thing that they watched that scene was basically showing all of us that Connor was the only one who had a relationship with his father that meant anything. Everyone, all the other three kids were just transactional. Like they want to be pa like the, the the next in line.

Ken Jennings is the undisputed GOAT of Jeopardy

The host is Ken Jennings, who is the GOAT. He's the greatest Jeopardy player of all time. Won the most consecutive episodes... When they played a primetime event named GOAT to determine the greatest of all time, Ken Jennings won that against James [Holzhauer].

Draft Day would be one of the worst movies ever if it didn't have real NFL logos

Draft Day would be maybe one of the worst movies of all time if it didn't have the rights to the exact NFL logos and team names. If they had to make up like a fake NFL league, that movie would suck. Turns out that it rocks because it's like, oh, I recognize the Browns logo.

Kyler Murray is right for using cheese plays in Madden

I am on Kyler Murray's side... Kyler Murray's in the right... you got your ass beaten in the Madden League... And then you went online to be like, well Kyler Murray's a bad guy cuz he beats me with the same play and I can't figure out a defense to stop it.

Denver is one of the best comedy towns in the United States

Denver's a very liberal city. Right. That's, most people know it as a liberal, but Colorado isn't all liberal. Yeah. There's a lot of conservative out there. It's kind of a purple place... It's unbelievable. It's one of the best comedy towns in the country in my opinion.

George Jetson was born on July 31st, 2022

My woe is on today... July 31st as we're taping it. This is the day that George Jetson was born on whoa. In the TV show The Jetsons. Whoa, whoa. That is whoa. And if you watch the Jetsons, we're like journeying throughout outer space, future conquering other solar... nothing's changed.

I only care about comedy and hate acting, even though I keep getting offered roles

I only care about comedy. Right? You gotta force me to act. Right. I don't, I'm saying this right now. And every time I say it, I get offered another gig. I don't like acting right. I'm bad at it.

The upcoming Drake and Taylor Swift collaboration will be played into the ground all summer

My hot seat is the charts, the radio this summer... Drake posted a picture with Taylor Swift, which means go, I'm going to be a song coming, which means it's going to get, it'll probably be a good song, but it will get murdered into the ground and just played in for it everywhere.

Step Brothers is one of the funniest movies and is aging very well

The other one that I think holds up is Will and Adam McKay's movie Step Brothers. I feel like that one is aging very well. Every time it's on you just can't shut it off.

Road House is the greatest movie ever

Road House, like you ever seen Road House? Greatest movie ever. All time. All time. There's so many good one-liners.

Moana is a legitimately incredible movie

That movie is awesome. I don't know if anyone's seen Moana with the Rock. It's a legitimately incredible movie. I'm at the point now where I'm like 'How about Moana?' and [my son's] like 'Nah, Mickey Mouse.'

Five years is the official amount of time for a meme to become funny again

It's the perfect time for it to come full circle. Cause we've, we've predicted, we've had this conversation off air many times. Like when do you think Harambe jokes are going to be funny again? I think five years is now officially the amount of time when something can become fun again.

The Rolling Stones are the greatest rock band of all time

If you're asking me a rock and roll honest question would have to be the [Rolling] Stones. I just think I would, because they're still doing it. And the songs from the sixties, they still could come out today. They they're, you know, 'Under My Thumb'...

Harambe is officially back as a cultural force due to the Bengals' Super Bowl run

My who's back of the week is our sweet prince Heran bay. We obviously were very early on it in 2016... with the Bengals making this run, then being from Cincinnati it's of naturally happened... it went Facebook, super nuclear viral... it's back.

Emily in Paris is a genius show despite being terrible

Emily in Paris is the worst show ever by the way, never watched it... it is mind-numbingly bad, but it's one of those shows that's so bad. It sucks you in... It's a genius show. It's a genius show and it's terrible. But it's genius.

James Gunn maintains a 'no asshole' rule on his film sets

[James Gunn] also has a no asshole [rule]. And he puts together teams of people who there's not a bad apple in the bunch... I knew I was going to be surrounded by good people.

Madden: 2004 was the best video game of all time

Madden 2004 was probably the best video game of all time.

The AC Slater character in Saved By The Bell was likely a safety

I don't think it was ever established [what position he played]... I really don't. I mean, I don't know. I guess he'd probably be like a safety... AC Slater's an awesome safety.

Jackass Forever will be the start of a massive streak of movie hits.

Jackass Forever, the trailer came out... and I feel like it's just going to be hit after hit after hit after hit for the next few months because there's so much of a backlog [from the pandemic].

The Sopranos prequel being a movie instead of a TV show is a mistake

The trailer for the new movie, it's a movie. I thought it was a TV show and the fact that it's a movie is a little bit worrisome... I just feel like it's going to be hard to—the TV show was so good because you know, you can extend the episodes... and they try and compact it all into two hours.

The 'You're not that guy, pal' clip will be the clip of the summer

Pretty much, it's a great clip, but I think that's going to be the clip of the summer. Everything you do with your friends, your coworkers, pretty much anything... you're going to see comments about you're not that guy.

The ironic resurgence of Harambe is due for a comeback

I think we actually are getting close to having it [Harambe] be funny again. The resurgence. Because it was very funny for that summer. Then it was like very lame. But now enough time has passed where if you just drop a Harambe, it's like, oh, that's actually kind of funny. The ironic resurgence of Harambe is due.

Citizen Kane is no longer the best movie of all time according to Rotten Tomatoes

Someone that works at Rotten Tomatoes found an 80-year-old review... talking a negative review about Citizen Kane. So they put it in the Rotten Tomatoes whatever system, and now it's 99 on Rotten Tomatoes, not 100. Paddington 2 is 100. So Citizen Kane, by Rotten Tomatoes metrics, no longer the best movie of all time.

I will start watching the show 'Dave' by next Wednesday

By the time I speak to you on next Wednesday's show, within the next week, I will have started Dave. That's my resolution... I'm going to be able to fulfill on two out of those three [goals] already and three out of three by next week.

Drake's Scary Hours 2 tracks are currently holding the top three spots on the Billboard charts

Drake released three new songs last week, and they're now one, two, and three on the Billboard [Hot 100].

Cocaine Bear is already a 'must-see' movie

Elizabeth Banks is to direct a bear-centric thriller, Cocaine Bear, for Universal... Just a movie, a must-see. I'm already slapping a must-see on it.

The best movies must tickle your funny bone, tug on your heartstrings, and blow your mind

In my opinion the best movies do three things: tickle your funny bone, tug on your heartstrings, blow your mind... any time a movie kind of leaves you laughing and crying and kind of makes you think too – I mean, I don't know how you beat that.

Johnny V (Artie Bucco) was the funniest person on the set of The Sopranos

For me it was probably Johnny V who played Artie Bucco. He is he's hilarious... he would just go into an impression of somebody and just stay that guy, you know, like he would be walking around the hotel pretending to be somebody else.