Takes

The Dodgers will represent the National League in the 2017 World Series

Right now, I think you have to like the Dodgers and what they're doing. I feel like the Nationals could compete, but we're talking about the ultimate dance here, so I'm going to take the Dodgers from the National League.

Bryce Harper will eventually sign with the Philadelphia Phillies

If you were to ask me straight up, [Harper goes to] Philadelphia. Philadelphia... Because it's 212 feet to right field, 279 to center, and 175 feet to left. So he's thinking Hall of Fame... Where can I hit 700 home runs? Philadelphia.

The Nationals have the most potent offense in baseball

Shout out to future hall of famer Dan Haren because on this same podcast on Wednesday he said the nationals have the most potent offense in baseball boom so next day [they hit 8 home runs].

David Ross is the face of baseball because of Dancing with the Stars

One guy that his retirement went so opposite of mine that it kind of annoys me now is David Ross... He was the face of baseball when it was the Dancing with the Stars. Buster Olney or Ken Rosenthal were saying he's the face of baseball because he's what most people would recognize.

Clayton Kershaw and Max Scherzer are the best pitchers in baseball

Him [Kershaw] and Scherzer are the best ones. [Kershaw] is the best pitcher in baseball. I'm worried about his back, though. This is the third year in a row he's gone on the DL for his back.

Once a pitcher hurts their back, they are screwed long-term

It's unfortunate. Once you hurt your back, you're screwed. Trust me. [Kershaw] tried to change his workout... and I don't think it helped.

The MLB baseballs are wound tighter this season causing more home runs

I think the balls are wound a little tighter this year, no doubt. I think pitchers are throwing harder and guys are stronger, so therefore the ball's just going to go further.

Switch hitters have to re-learn how to hit every single spring training

I was two completely different hitters. I don't exaggerate when I say this... Every year in spring training, I had to learn how to hit again. I literally would come to spring training, the first few games, I would look like I never played baseball.

The Houston Astros and LA Dodgers are on a crash course for the 2017 World Series

Probably the Astros from Houston. I think the Astros are really good. I think the Dodgers are really good. I think they're on a crash course for the fall classic.

Tim Tebow should 'go for it' in baseball even if he doesn't make it

Why not? Go for it. I mean, hey, if someone wants to give you a job to play professional sports and you want to try it, why would you say no?... If you don't make it, you don't make it, and you can always go back to ESPN and do the SEC.

The 2017 Cubs are fine and will win the NL Central

The Cubs are fine until they finish 81-81 and probably win the Central. I have decided I'm going to keep telling myself the Cubs are fine.

The 2017 Yankees are fully back

The Yankees are fully back. Pinstripes for everyone. Aaron Judge hit three home runs on Sunday. His 21st of the year. Also the longest home run of the year... They have the best run differential in the league.

MLB drug tests me more often because I'm a short guy hitting home runs

They like to come and test me all the time when I hit home runs because they don't really believe a short little guy can hit homers. So I'm kind of surprised they haven't came yet, but I'm sure they will soon.

Closers in baseball are used incorrectly by only pitching the ninth inning

Closers are not used well today. It's stupid to only come in the ninth inning. It's because you have the statistic 'the save' that actually measures things badly. ... You should be using them in the most high-leverage situation of the game.

The Cleveland Indians should retire Chief Wahoo and just sell throwbacks for profit

I also don't know why they don't. They just get rid of it. Do the C. Do the block C. And then just sell it as throwbacks. You can still make money off it. Just like, you know what, guys, you're right. It's 2016. We need to do a better job with this logo. And then in a year, be like throwback night.

Position players are significantly better first-round draft bets than pitchers

The best bets in the first round are position players. They return, on average, about twice as much value as pitchers. If we were going to put our resources... we wanted to do it with position players.

Jake Arrieta's 466-foot home run was only possible because of the dry Arizona air

I don't know if you guys know how air works, but it's hot. A little dry heat. The ball carries... The ball carries in Arizona. So yeah. This is just a stupid little witch hunt that's been going on for a long time now.

Stop talking about a Chicago Cubs dynasty; they've only won one World Series

Stop with this dynasty talk. Okay? The dynasty is happening. The dynasty is on. Red Sox fans became insufferable, and now it's the Cub fans... Just get in the tournament, win a game, and get back to me. You've never been in the tournament [Northwestern]. Do something.

Mets spring training is essentially just a timeline update on Tommy John surgeries

It's also a.k.a. just Mets spring training. That's just basically all of Mets spring training is, oh, hey, all of our pitchers are somewhere in the timeline of Tommy John, so let's just update everyone on that.

The Cubs will win a World Series before the Knicks win an NBA championship

Of course the Cubs are going to win one before the Knicks. No, I'm not saying it's this year, but here's the answer to your question straight up. As long as James Dolan is the owner of the Knicks, the Knicks aren't winning shit.

Dan Haren is a genius for joining the Diamondbacks because their pitching can't get worse

Smart move for him to join that team because basically he can just go and fart and be like, oh, they're better. 30th ranked team. So basically, they can't get worse. He can just go pick his nose, fart, listen to Pardon My Take, and they'll, by just the law of averages, get a little bit better.

The Red Sox championship window is currently two to three years

Yeah, it's like two or three years. ... Luckily, their third best pitcher [Rick Porcello] just won the Cy Young.

The Cubs do not win the World Series without Kyle Schwarber

I mean, the Cubs don't win the World Series without Kyle Schwarber. No, it's absolutely a fact. I think he had 10 hits.

The 2016 World Series is engineered for the Cubs to win in seven games

I think that this has all been engineered behind the scenes, and you're going to be the one that reaps all the rewards. So congratulations in advance on tonight's World Series champion, your 2016 Chicago Cubs.

I am 70% confident that the Cubs will force a Game 7 in the World Series

I'm 70% confident that the Cubs can get to Game 7. [Then] Game 7 is 50-50. Game 7 is a coin flip.

The Cubs will win the World Series in seven games

I'm going to say Cubs in seven. The Indians are tougher than you think, man. They're pretty good. The tough thing with the Indians is if they get a lead on you with Shaw and then obviously Miller can go two innings and Cody Allen. So basically if they get through five innings with a lead, you're in bad shape.

Kyle Schwarber can successfully return and hit home runs in the World Series after six months off

If anybody can do it, it would be [Schwarber] to step back, just to step up after a year off or not even a year, like six months off and be able to hit bombs. It would be him. He will not overthink it. That's impossible.

October 22nd is the most significant date in Chicago Cubs history

October 22nd, 2016, the Cubs clinched the NLCS. October 22nd, 2011, the Cubs hired Theo Epstein. October 22nd, 1970, the man behind the Billy Goat curse died. October 22nd is a big-time sabermetrics date in Cubs history now.

The Cubs are not dead

The Cubs are not dead. We're not panicking. But they did get the shit kicked out of them by the Dodgers in L.A. Not much else to say. Rich Hill was fantastic. You just got to wait for the bats to come alive.

The Cubs are going to win the World Series

When I wake up on Monday morning, I will get back to being confident about this Cubs team. Right now, Cubs are going to win the World Series.

The Dodgers are a weaker team than the Nationals

The Dodgers are coming to Wrigley Field. I do think the Dodgers are a weaker of the two teams. Slash, I didn't want to see Daniel Murphy again.

The Giants' bullpen was destined to blow up eventually

The Giants blew a record amount of saves this year. Their bullpen was shaky all year. They were going to blow up at some point.

I am 85% confident the Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

I'm like for overall World Series... 85% [confident].

The Indians logo is back on the hot seat because the team is actually winning

Hot seat, Indians logo. They're going to be in the ALCS, and that means the Indians logo is going to be on the hot seat again... If you stay bad, no one cares that your logo is offensive.

The Cubs are going to win the World Series as long as nothing crazy happens

They're the best team at baseball. As long as nothing crazy happens, they're going to win the World Series.

The Boston Red Sox are dead

It is Friday, October 7th, and the Boston Red Sox are dead. They're not dead, but Buck Showalter had to be very confused watching Terry Francona manage that game because Andrew Miller and Cody Allen pitched 40 pitches each.

Cubs fans should be scared of Madison Bumgarner in the NLDS

Man, I don't know. I'm scared for the Cubs. I'm serious. The problem with playing the Giants for the Cubs' sake is you really need to win the first two games. Ideal situation would be not going back to San Francisco in a 1-1 series and having to face Bumgarner.

Jake Arrieta is spraying his fastball around more than usual and is cause for worry

I'm a little worried about the way he's throwing the ball. It seems a little wild... he just seems kind of spraying his – it seems to me he sprays his fastball around a little more than usual... it's led to him getting into more like two and three, one counts.

Kyle Hendricks will do really well in the postseason

Kyle Hendricks obviously had an unbelievable season. The playoffs are a different beast... Should I be worried at all about that? No, he will do. He's going to do really well... he's added a little bit to his arsenal... He's going to be good.

The Dodgers will beat the Nationals in the NLDS

Who do you have in the Dodgers National Series? I have the Dodgers. Even though Kershaw? What about Kershaw? He's fine.

Buck Showalter is a moron for not using Zach Britton in the Wild Card game

Buck Showalter is a moron. Or Zach Britton's hurt. We're all sitting here wondering why Ubaldo Jimenez with his 5.44 ERA was pitching. Zach Britton, his ERA, .54. Best in the big leagues. And he was being saved for game two. Either Zach Britton is hurt or he's just saving him for some random game that doesn't exist.

The Chicago Cubs will win the World Series

I love him to death [Addison Russell], and he's going to win a World Series.

A small part of me is afraid of what happens to my identity if the Cubs actually win the World Series.

There's like a 1% of my brain that doesn't fully know what to do if the Cubs actually won the World Series. If they don't win, our identity is still intact. I'm the dog chasing a car and I don't know what I would do if I caught it.

I am confident enough in the Cubs to book flights for the NLCS early

We are booking our flights to go to Chicago for NLCS game one and two. No chance this backfires on you at all. No chance.

Theo Epstein needs to chill out after admitting to following people home to watch them

Theo Epstein... said on a few nights when things felt bleak, Theo would wander the internet, linger on macabre things like air traffic controller recordings... I used to follow people home... I could put on a hat and follow them. Just chill out, man.

The Chicago Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

I'd like to say congratulations to the 2016, um, world series champion Chicago Cubs. All right, well, congrats to the future World Series champions.

The Chicago Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

I'm happy for you that in about a month from now, you're going to be celebrating a world's championship on the north side... It's impossible to fathom you guys not getting to the World Series. And then from there, momentum will carry you through.

The Royals' praying mantis should be burned to kill their team's mojo

I'm just saying it'd be a real shame if someone snuck into their dugout and dropped a match in there and watched the, what's it, a terrarium? ... If you're trying to get rid of their mojo... That's a direct correlation.

Tim Tebow does not have a chance to make it in the Major Leagues

I i love to root for tebow i'd love to see love to see him get it done but i i don't know if that's possible

Giancarlo Stanton's season-ending injury is definitive proof of the Home Run Derby curse

He had the home run derby curse... so we actually predicted this. Not to brag, but we called it. Like a month ago, we said whoever's going to win is going to be out for the rest of the season. So sometimes it's tough to keep track of how right we are all the time.