Takes

England soccer is never going to 'come home'

It's not coming home. Not coming home. It's never gonna come home. It left, it walked out the door. You got empty Nest syndrome. It's not coming back. England soccer is just, it's gotta be brutal to root for.

The USMNT must fire Gregg Berhalter now or give up on the 2026 World Cup

Our players didn't play that well, but our coaching stunk. And so now he's gotta be fired. We gotta fire Greg. Now's time. If we're not gonna fire him now, just might as well give up on the World Cup.

The USMNT's Copa America match against Uruguay will be their first real test

Uruguay is gonna be a good game. They're very good. We beat the dastardly Bolivians... Panama, they stink. And then Uruguay, they're always good in these tournaments.

Gregg Berhalter is a shitty coach

Our coach stinks. And having him get this tie against Brazil is gonna—because we are a loser country in soccer—[make people think] Greg's got the team on the right track and he's not gonna be fired... I do know that it's gonna be bad news if he's the coach of the World Cup team.

The US Men's National Team should fire Greg Berhalter

I just wanna say that the United States men's national team should fire Greg Berhalter on the record. He was fired in 2022 and then they brought him back... we lost five one to Colombia. Right. And this is... it's not gonna happen. We know it's not gonna happen, but we're still keeping 'em around and it's very frustrating.

USMNT coach Gregg Berhalter stinks and should be fired

My Hot Seat is Greg Berhalter. Ooh. The coach of the US men's national team out. He should be out. Yeah. Hot Seat Greg. He lost to Trinidad in Tobago. Can't do that... He stinks. We brought him back. He doesn't get along with any of the best players on the team. Fire Greg. Fire him.

The USWNT coach is more to blame for the World Cup exit than Megan Rapinoe

I've reached a point now where I don't necessarily blame Megan Rapinoe. I blame the coach for even putting her on the roster. That's how bad she was.

The US Women's National Team will lose to Sweden in the 2023 World Cup

I'm gonna have to bet on the US women's national team against Sweden. I'm just gonna have to. They're gonna lose. Yeah, they're gonna lose.

Lionel Messi is the undisputed GOAT after winning the World Cup

Messi is the goat. I mean, Ronaldo, I mean, there's nothing left. Messi has literally won it all. That game was fucking incredible... I'm happy for Messi. I, he's always been my goat and this was literally the last thing he had to win.

I predict Argentina will win the World Cup final

I want messy to win so bad so that idiots who don't know Ball. Speaking of not knowing ball, like Hank have to fucking eat it. I, I'm predicting I'm predicting Argentina.

I am bored with Spain's style of soccer; they pass a thousand times and never shoot

I'm rooting for Spain to go home cause I'm just bored with them. I'm bored with their weird style of play where they just pass. I think they had a thousand completed passes today and I don't think they had a shot on target.

Using prevent defense only prevents you from winning

When you go to prevent defense, the only thing it does, it prevents yourself from winning. So Greg [Berhalter], if you're listening against the Dutch or the Netherlands or the Holland or whatever you want to call 'em, don't park the bus. Keep your foot on the gas. Be free, live free. Have the American spirit flowing through you.

The US game vs England on Friday is a 'must draw'

So are we calling Friday's game against England a must draw for the United States? [Taylor]: Absolutely. Yep. Because it the last thing you wanna do is win lose that game. Right. And honestly... if they lose that, dear Lord that final game's gonna be something else.

The US Men's National Team will definitely get out of the group stage in the 2022 World Cup

The knockout rounds are going to be interesting. I'm not too concerned with them [USMNT] getting out of the group. It's really up to them. I mean, they have a favorable draw.

The current USMNT roster is a 'Golden Generation'

The U.S. Men's National Team... suck my dick Italy. They didn't make it. We did... the golden generation for the U.S. soccer team is here. I just hear people say that. It sounds so cool when they say it. So I think we can officially declare because this team is young enough. I'm just going to say, this is our golden generation.

The USMNT will get out of the group stage in the 2022 World Cup

When we make the World Cup, we always get out of pool play.

It would be a shame if the US soccer team misses the World Cup again

I just wanted to say it's a shame. Just so that I'm on the record. I feel like some people think I'm trolling. I'm saying it's a shame if we don't make the World Cup again.

US Soccer will make the World Cup this year

I'm not down with the negativity from Big Cat. I'm not negative. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. When was I negative? I said it would be a shame if we didn't make the World Cup. I think that this is the year. This is a year for US Soccer to... make the World Cup.

I don't want the Waterdogs to win the championship if it is played on an NFL Sunday

If the Waterdogs want to be the best dogs possible, they would lose in the semifinals. So we don't have to watch them in the finals... I don't want to have to be burdened with them on an NFL Sunday.

The US men's 4x100 relay team is terrible.

So our four by 100 team sucks. And there were like a lot of people who were like, this is a debacle. How are we so bad at this? ... I really just don't care. Like, I want us to win, but if we don't, I don't lose any sleep over it.

Italy had the Euro 2020 final in hand by the 20th or 30th minute

After like the 20th, 30th minute, I felt like Italy had it in hand, even though they were losing at the time... this was a one-on-one Italy victory. I score too early and let's score to like, got the wiggle. Yeah. Which is why they want it then.

I am rooting for an England loss at Wembley because the resulting crowd shots would be the ultimate sports tragedy

When you're watching sports that you don't really have a true rooting interest... I'm rooting then for ultimate tragedy in the most epic way. And there's nothing more tragic than Wembley and the crowd shots that will occur if England finds a way to lose.

Federico Chiesa is going to be one of the best players in the entire world

Chiesa is going to be one of the best players in the entire world. I'm just putting an eyeball stamp on it. I said that last week. Then he had that awesome goal. Chiesa, Chiesa, Chiesa.

Football is 'coming home' for England in the Euros

All I'm saying about the Euros, it's coming home. Yeah, it's coming home. Something just very special about pasty white English fans ripping off their shirts... Football's coming home. And then they're going to lose in tragic fashion.

The US Men's National Team will qualify for a World Cup within the next 10 years

I have a feeling that all these building blocks that we've got in place, at some point in the next 10 years, the U.S. men's national team is going to qualify for World Cup.

FIFA only sided with fans against the Super League to protect their own revenue from the Champions League

We figured it out afterwards. It's because FIFA controls UEFA, the Champions League, and the Super League would have sucked all the money out of UEFA. So that's why FIFA was doing this. Not because they're like some big [humanitarians].

The European Super League will destroy every club soccer team below the elite level

The richest teams in Italy, Spain, and England... are going to create a league where they're basically doing away with the Champions League. Why would we share money with everyone when we can make a super league and we get to keep all the money... it will therefore basically destroy every club soccer team below them in all of these countries. It's going to ruin the game of soccer.

I don't think the European Super League will actually happen.

I don't think it will happen. I don't think it's going to happen. But it does suck if it does happen.

US Soccer is 'back' and will be a threat in Qatar 2022

US soccer's back big time... Gio Reyna scored an amazing goal... him and Pulisic are tearing up European soccer. So I'm confident in the U.S.'s chances in 2022 in Qatar.

Lionel Messi will eventually play in Major League Soccer

Why doesn't Messi go to MLS? ... He's like 33. Oh, you're right about that time. He would fucking wreck the MLS. They should just give Messi an MLS team. ... I hope he does eventually come to the MLS. I'm sure that he will in like seven years once he's totally washed up.

The Cristiano Ronaldo statue should be taken down because he looks like an 'emaciated seagull'

The Cristiano Ronaldo's statue... where he looks like... an emaciated seagull. Let's take down that statue.

There is zero chance the Summer Olympics actually happen this year

No chance that it [the Olympics] happens. It would be so ridiculous to have a summer olympics right now and just basically infect all the world's best athlete at the same time with the disease.

Rose Lavelle will be the next USWNT superstar for the next eight years

Here's my hot take about Rose [Lavelle]. She's going to be the next superstar for the women's national team for the next, like, eight years... I'm saying that she's the next Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe.

I am officially retiring from professional soccer after the 2019 season

I'm retiring after this year. [Big Cat: Have you said that?] Yeah.

The USWNT vs France matchup is essentially the World Cup Final

But this is, I'm going to call it, this is the World Cup on Friday [France versus U.S.]. Whoever wins this match [wins it all].

The awarding of the World Cup to Qatar was definitely not above board

The former president of FIFA was arrested because it turns out the awarding of the World Cup to Qatar or Qatar may not have been above board. Oh, you think? No doy.

The USWNT should run up the score in World Cup group play because goal differential is the first tiebreaker

The first tiebreaker is goal differential. So if we lose to Chile by 15 goals, then we're fucked. It's just good that we scored a Baker's dozen [against Thailand].

Sweden will be the toughest opponent in the USWNT World Cup group

Sweden, they actually usually... that's who knocked us out when we were in the Olympics. So I would say that they're gonna be they're probably gonna be the toughest one.

The United States is on its longest World Cup unbeaten streak since the Reagan administration

This is the longest World Cup unbeaten streak that we're on right now since the Reagan administration. It's been over four years since the United States has lost a World Cup game.

France winning the World Cup avenged the 'curse of Zidane'

They avenge the curse of Zidane. The curse that I just invented right now has been put away in the closet, never to be mentioned again.

The World Cup is the best tournament to win because you're the champion for four years

The World Cup is the best tournament to win because you get to be champion for four years. That's pretty fucking sweet.

Harry Kane's Golden Boot was unimpressive due to the quality of his goals

Harry Kane spits when he talks, scored like half his goals from PKs and kicking it in from two feet out. He won the golden boot.

France will win the 2018 World Cup Final

I'm going to go with France as well. Mbappé is 19.

Croatia will beat England in the World Cup semi-final

England has a lot of experience in losing big games. I kind of like them to lose this one to Croatia. I like how scraggly the Croatian players are. They just have that element of a little bit of slime to them... I just think Croatia is going to be a little bit too slimy for the Brits to grab onto.

The 2022 World Cup will be the 'fall of sports' due to the overlap with the NFL season

I'm calling it right now. It's going to be the fall of sports. It's going to be nonstop sports all the time.

Russia will defeat Spain in the World Cup knockout stage

On Sunday it is España versus Russia... Russia for sure.

Brazil will dominate Mexico in their World Cup match

I'm on the record as being a Mexico fan, but I think that Brazil is going to knock the shit out of [Mexico].

Russia is a wagon in the 2018 World Cup

Russia is a wagon. Russia is really, really good when they're playing against the world's 70th ranked teams. They don't play down to their opponents.

Any EPL team that allows an 'American stink' on them deserves to be relegated

If you get an American stink on your EPL team, you deserve to be relegated. [referencing Bob Bradley at Swansea City]

Sweden is my World Cup team for 2018

I think Sweden is my World Cup team. Dude, I'm Swedish. I would know. I'm like one 16th... I got all the shitty parts of being Swedish.