Takes

England soccer is never going to 'come home'

It's not coming home. Not coming home. It's never gonna come home. It left, it walked out the door. You got empty Nest syndrome. It's not coming back. England soccer is just, it's gotta be brutal to root for.

The USMNT must fire Gregg Berhalter now or give up on the 2026 World Cup

Our players didn't play that well, but our coaching stunk. And so now he's gotta be fired. We gotta fire Greg. Now's time. If we're not gonna fire him now, just might as well give up on the World Cup.

Gregg Berhalter is a shitty coach

Our coach stinks. And having him get this tie against Brazil is gonna—because we are a loser country in soccer—[make people think] Greg's got the team on the right track and he's not gonna be fired... I do know that it's gonna be bad news if he's the coach of the World Cup team.

The US Men's National Team should fire Greg Berhalter

I just wanna say that the United States men's national team should fire Greg Berhalter on the record. He was fired in 2022 and then they brought him back... we lost five one to Colombia. Right. And this is... it's not gonna happen. We know it's not gonna happen, but we're still keeping 'em around and it's very frustrating.

USMNT coach Gregg Berhalter stinks and should be fired

My Hot Seat is Greg Berhalter. Ooh. The coach of the US men's national team out. He should be out. Yeah. Hot Seat Greg. He lost to Trinidad in Tobago. Can't do that... He stinks. We brought him back. He doesn't get along with any of the best players on the team. Fire Greg. Fire him.

The USWNT coach is more to blame for the World Cup exit than Megan Rapinoe

I've reached a point now where I don't necessarily blame Megan Rapinoe. I blame the coach for even putting her on the roster. That's how bad she was.

I predict Argentina will win the World Cup final

I want messy to win so bad so that idiots who don't know Ball. Speaking of not knowing ball, like Hank have to fucking eat it. I, I'm predicting I'm predicting Argentina.

The US game vs England on Friday is a 'must draw'

So are we calling Friday's game against England a must draw for the United States? [Taylor]: Absolutely. Yep. Because it the last thing you wanna do is win lose that game. Right. And honestly... if they lose that, dear Lord that final game's gonna be something else.

The current USMNT roster is a 'Golden Generation'

The U.S. Men's National Team... suck my dick Italy. They didn't make it. We did... the golden generation for the U.S. soccer team is here. I just hear people say that. It sounds so cool when they say it. So I think we can officially declare because this team is young enough. I'm just going to say, this is our golden generation.

The USMNT will get out of the group stage in the 2022 World Cup

When we make the World Cup, we always get out of pool play.

It would be a shame if the US soccer team misses the World Cup again

I just wanted to say it's a shame. Just so that I'm on the record. I feel like some people think I'm trolling. I'm saying it's a shame if we don't make the World Cup again.

US Soccer will make the World Cup this year

I'm not down with the negativity from Big Cat. I'm not negative. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. When was I negative? I said it would be a shame if we didn't make the World Cup. I think that this is the year. This is a year for US Soccer to... make the World Cup.

I don't want the Waterdogs to win the championship if it is played on an NFL Sunday

If the Waterdogs want to be the best dogs possible, they would lose in the semifinals. So we don't have to watch them in the finals... I don't want to have to be burdened with them on an NFL Sunday.

Federico Chiesa is going to be one of the best players in the entire world

Chiesa is going to be one of the best players in the entire world. I'm just putting an eyeball stamp on it. I said that last week. Then he had that awesome goal. Chiesa, Chiesa, Chiesa.

Football is 'coming home' for England in the Euros

All I'm saying about the Euros, it's coming home. Yeah, it's coming home. Something just very special about pasty white English fans ripping off their shirts... Football's coming home. And then they're going to lose in tragic fashion.

The European Super League will destroy every club soccer team below the elite level

The richest teams in Italy, Spain, and England... are going to create a league where they're basically doing away with the Champions League. Why would we share money with everyone when we can make a super league and we get to keep all the money... it will therefore basically destroy every club soccer team below them in all of these countries. It's going to ruin the game of soccer.

US Soccer is 'back' and will be a threat in Qatar 2022

US soccer's back big time... Gio Reyna scored an amazing goal... him and Pulisic are tearing up European soccer. So I'm confident in the U.S.'s chances in 2022 in Qatar.

Lionel Messi will eventually play in Major League Soccer

Why doesn't Messi go to MLS? ... He's like 33. Oh, you're right about that time. He would fucking wreck the MLS. They should just give Messi an MLS team. ... I hope he does eventually come to the MLS. I'm sure that he will in like seven years once he's totally washed up.

Rose Lavelle will be the next USWNT superstar for the next eight years

Here's my hot take about Rose [Lavelle]. She's going to be the next superstar for the women's national team for the next, like, eight years... I'm saying that she's the next Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe.

The USWNT vs France matchup is essentially the World Cup Final

But this is, I'm going to call it, this is the World Cup on Friday [France versus U.S.]. Whoever wins this match [wins it all].

The awarding of the World Cup to Qatar was definitely not above board

The former president of FIFA was arrested because it turns out the awarding of the World Cup to Qatar or Qatar may not have been above board. Oh, you think? No doy.

Sweden will be the toughest opponent in the USWNT World Cup group

Sweden, they actually usually... that's who knocked us out when we were in the Olympics. So I would say that they're gonna be they're probably gonna be the toughest one.

France winning the World Cup avenged the 'curse of Zidane'

They avenge the curse of Zidane. The curse that I just invented right now has been put away in the closet, never to be mentioned again.

Harry Kane's Golden Boot was unimpressive due to the quality of his goals

Harry Kane spits when he talks, scored like half his goals from PKs and kicking it in from two feet out. He won the golden boot.

France will win the 2018 World Cup Final

I'm going to go with France as well. Mbappé is 19.

Croatia will beat England in the World Cup semi-final

England has a lot of experience in losing big games. I kind of like them to lose this one to Croatia. I like how scraggly the Croatian players are. They just have that element of a little bit of slime to them... I just think Croatia is going to be a little bit too slimy for the Brits to grab onto.

The 2022 World Cup will be the 'fall of sports' due to the overlap with the NFL season

I'm calling it right now. It's going to be the fall of sports. It's going to be nonstop sports all the time.

Russia is a wagon in the 2018 World Cup

Russia is a wagon. Russia is really, really good when they're playing against the world's 70th ranked teams. They don't play down to their opponents.

The World Cup ball skips too much this year

When you see that ball take its first bounce on a long pass, it skips. So in every World Cup, at the very start of it, people always freak out about something weird with the ball... This one, the ball skips. So I'm getting out ahead of that one. It skips a little bit too far, and you see a lot of whiffs on half volleys.

Don't bet against Russia in the World Cup because FIFA always lets host dictators win for propaganda

I wouldn't bet against Russia. ... FIFA... they've got a history of dropping [the World Cup] into the hornet's nest of dictators looking for an easy propaganda win. ... I wouldn't bet against Russia.

If you put an 'American stink' on an EPL team, they deserve to be relegated

If you get an American stink on your EPL team, you deserve to be relegated. [referencing Bob Bradley's tenure at Swansea City]

US Soccer needs to fire Bruce Arena and clean house after failing to qualify for the World Cup

I'm going to say Bruce Arena. That guy's been around forever. Get the fuck out of here, man. ... GM, clean house.

It would be hilarious if the US Men's Soccer team failed to qualify for the World Cup

It would be hilarious if the US didn't make the World Cup. It would be very, very funny. It would be so fucking funny. We could make jokes all summer long and be like, when does the US play?

Leicester City winning the Premier League was crazier than the Cubs or Cavs championships

[Leicester winning] was by far of those four. That's like kind of what we want people to compare... Leicester City, that was freaking weird, especially given how they're not very good this year either.

I would unretire and play soccer again for $15 million

If someone were to offer you $15 million to play next year, would you play? [Landon Donovan: Yes.] Okay, breaking news. Not retired. Open to a comeback.

Leicester City converted a penalty in the 93rd minute to salvage their Cinderella story

The Cinderella story, Leicester, they were losing today, and they were playing with 10 men, and then they got a penalty called in the 93rd minute, and they converted to salvage a point.