Takes

The Steelers should trade two first-round picks for Sam Darnold

Two 18 overall picks or 17 overall picks for Sam Darnold. I think I might do that if the Vikings tag them... I think Arthur Smith can get something good outta Sam.

Jaden Daniels will have an 80% completion rate against Tampa Bay

I'm gonna take Washington. I think Jaden Daniels sniffs 80% completion in that game. I just don't think Tampa Bay's defense is good enough on the perimeter. Hold up with them.

The Bears broke the Packers in their recent matchup

The other two pressure teams I had, one was the Packers. That was simply because like there's word out that maybe the bears broke the Packers... I hope that's not the case. 'cause I want to have, I, I don't want to just be one of those teams that just beats their rival all the time.

The Giants should hire Steve Sarkisian and tank for Arch Manning

So if they do fire Daboll, what about this plan? [Steve] Sark[isian] and then you just wait for Arch. You do one season of tanking... Then you tank a little bit... You tank and then Draft Arch. Because if you're a Giants fan, that that should get your blood going a little bit. Right? Yeah. Like just picturing a Manning jersey.

The Vikings might consider trading JJ McCarthy if Sam Darnold is the guy

I think all options will be on the table if and when they decide Sam Darnold is the guy... if there's a team out there that's willing to make the Vikings an offer that they won't refuse, then you do it... I think the Vikings get a hell of a lot more for JJ McCarthy than the 49ers got for Trey Lance.

Kurt Cignetti is a coward for his punt against Ohio State

Kurt Cignetti biggest coward pussy of all time. You can't talk shit... and then punt down 20 points, 20 plus points on midfield. Like what a pussy.

The 49ers would be making a mistake if they let Sam Darnold leave

You gotta be outta your mind to let Sam Darnold [leave], you're 12 and two man... That guy can run, run for First Downs. He's a horse. He's young. If you let Sam Darnold out of there, you're making a real mistake.

Anything less than winning a Super Bowl is a disappointment for the Eagles

A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Anything less than a soupy is a disappointment... Winning a soupy. Gotta win a soupy. Winning a soupy gotta win. It must win.

UNC will make the College Football Playoff in Bill Belichick's first year

[Bill Belichick will be successful] first year... College football playoff. We should win the ACC.

Scott Turner should win Coordinator of the Year for getting the Raiders to score with their roster

The Raiders are on their fourth, third and fourth running backs. Yeah. And trying to make the whole thing out of, and their third, now they're third quarterback. So Scott Turner, just even getting them to score a point... He should probably be coordinator of the year.

Caleb Williams should have used his leverage to force the Bears to decide on Matt Eberflus before the draft

If you're a quarterback like Caleb, like Shadur coming out, and you have the power to tell a team, I need you to make a decision on your coach. All I was suggesting he do is say, I need to know what you're doing with the coach. So I don't come into a situation where the structure is bad. And now he's gonna be sitting there second head coach. Third offensive coordinator.

Ohio State vs. Michigan 2024 was the most devastating loss of all time

I actually think that might've been the worst loss of all time in the history of losses... There were 20 point favorites. Ohio State is a loaded, Michigan doesn't have an offense. They don't have a quarterback. Michigan had a dog shit season and they still went in and bullied him in Columbus.

Ben Johnson will be a superstar head coach, the next Bill Walsh

Ben Johnson's gonna be a superstar, in my opinion, maybe the next Bill Walsh. Like, so to me if you could add him... I think this kid right here has a chance to be outstanding like hall of fame type guy. I know the way he prepares, I know all that type of stuff.

The Jaguars +14 against the Lions is the NFL makes no sense game of the year

I think so. This is like, this is the 'NFL makes no sense' game of maybe the year... NFL makes no sense. There's not like stats behind it. I am very close. But that, but it happens every year. There's always games where it's like, how the fuck did the Lions lose to the Jaguars when the playoffs come?

I hate the three-point shot in basketball

I do love basketball. I was Bobby Knight's ball boy. I just don't like the three-point shot. I think it's too much. It's way too much three points.

Villanova head coach Kyle Neptune is a worse coach than Nick Sirianni

I will not say a bad word about Nick Sirianni for the rest of the year... You don't have to watch Kyle Neptune coach basketball. [He is worse than Sirianni] without question. They lose to everyone. He has more... seven [losses to teams above 100 on KenPom] to two for four times as many years.

If the Eagles beat the Bengals, they are winning the Super Bowl

If we win this one though, I'm all the way back. Okay. If, if we win this one, I'm thinking soupy.

Caleb Williams is better than Jayden Daniels going forward and will have the better career

I honestly think that we're all gonna become winners. And I'm gonna say it... He [Caleb Williams] is so much better than Jayden Daniels. I did not say Caleb Williams played so much better [this year]. I said he's so much better... I think Caleb Williams going forward is going to be the better quarterback. I'm talking about the future.

Jared Goff is playing like Joe Montana

I don't even think it's close. I did a thing with the Detroit Lions last week. I think Jared Goff is starting to look like Joe Montana to me. He plays with continuous movement. He completes almost every single pass. He's tough as hell. He has continuity in the same system... I got Goff way up there on my list.

Nick Sirianni will be fired if the Eagles lose to the Giants

I'll say this right now, if the Eagles lose to the Giants on Sunday, Nick Sirianni will not be coaching the following week. He'll—he will be done. I think he will be fired.

Mike Tomlin is starting Russell Wilson to prove he's bad and go back to Justin Fields

Mike Tomlin, a man of his word, is like, I know I have a better chance with Justin Fields, but I promised Russell Wilson he's the starter. He's gonna throw him out against the Jets to basically have him suck. And then he's gonna be like, 'See, you guys told me I need to start Russell Wilson. I told Russell Wilson it wasn't his job to lose. He sucks. Justin Fields!'

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he doesn't perform in October

I don't think he's a true Yankee, Big Cat, which is so funny to say because he's objectively one of the best hitters of his entire generation... but not a true Yankee because true Yankees, they get it done in October.

Jaden Daniels is the fourth best quarterback in the NFL

I think that Jaden Daniels is the [fourth] best quarterback in the NFL. It's around fifth... it's fourth.

The Eagles' coaching staff is currently talentless

They are a player led team. It's, it's true... Just coordinators. No head coach. [The coaches] are not talented right now... talent's not something you can just, like, it doesn't go up and down. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a hot and cold thing.

People will stop visiting Orlando entirely if the airport removes its Chili's

I am taking up a new fight. They're changing the Orlando airport and the Chili's is going to be gone in 2025. We're not gonna let this happen... I predict that people are gonna stop visiting Orlando, Florida entirely because of this. There's no amusement found in Orlando [without it].

The Green Bay Packers are considering Colin Kaepernick as a bridge quarterback

Part of My Take is reporting that Colin Kaepernick is in consideration by some to be the Green Bay Packers Bridge quarterback. Yes. So Jordan Love returns.

Will Levis will take a major step forward and have a career arc similar to Josh Allen

Will Levis is gonna take a major step forward. You know who Will Levis is a lot like... Josh Allen. Same type of thing. He's like Josh Allen. He's a fanatic about it... he's gonna have a monster season. And everybody who mocked his game going into the draft is gonna be exactly the way they were with Josh Allen. They're gonna be wrong.

The Tasmanian Tiger is likely not extinct and lives in Papua New Guinea

The one that sits on the top reign supreme is an animal called a Thylacine. Tasmanian tiger... it managed to get a pilot and get picked up and turned into a series... because it used to range like 4,000 years ago... there are still ongoing reports from tribes and villages of striped dogs and all these things in Papua New Guinea. That's the area that I think needs the biggest exposure.

Oklahoma will finish with a better SEC record than Texas in their first year

Oklahoma finishes with a better SEC record than Texas. I think Jackson Arnold will be a step forward for them... my concerns about Texas are shared.

Nebraska will go 10-2 and compete for a playoff spot

Honestly, man, I think that they could, I think that they could compete this year... I think they could go 10 and two. You gotta think about it when you, if we're going into Ohio State, we're seven and oh... I think Raiola is gonna be a stud. We returned most of the black shirts, top defense last year.

Jayson Tatum has no aura

Boston is an amazing team, but they're just not fun. No. Tatum is not fun. He has no Aura. Tatum is like, once your mom starts being like, this isn't fair. It's like, shut the fuck up dude... No, you don't get greatness from a supportive mom. You need a bit of like, yeah, maybe he should be on the bench.

The worst NFL team would win gold in Olympic flag football with only one hour of practice

I think if you took the worst NFL team and then made them the flag football team, they would probably win the gold. An hour. They'd probably pick it up an hour.

WNBA Finals will be the third most-watched sport in the fall

The finals of the WNBA specifically will have the third most ratings in the fall. So behind college football and the NFL. There needs to be a third place. And WNBA finals will surpass the NBA opening, will surpass the NHL and it'll be the third most watched sport. It'll battle the World Series and it will be three.

Jayden Daniels could be the next C.J. Stroud while Caleb Williams is the next Bryce Young

Booger McFarland... said today on Get Up, don't be surprised when Jayden Daniels is the guy that they're talking about next year as being like a C.J. Stroud. And Caleb Williams is the one being talked about like he's a Bryce Young. So I'm, I go with Booger.

LeBron James only brought Bronny into the NBA to bolster his GOAT case against Michael Jordan

Some people could argue that LeBron, when he realized that he wasn't going to win six titles and match MJ, he's like, 'what else can I try to get that will, they'll say in my GOAT conversation' and having Bronny—playing with Bronny—will be there. MJ's son never played in the league.

MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred hates baseball and is trying to mess it up

Rob Manfred. I just, I think he hates baseball. So he's just screwing it up while his tenure's still going. And he's gonna see how much he could fuck it up. So wait, what? What guy? Guy, they had a, they should have booted him years ago.

MLB should fire all analytic guys and get rid of the pitch clock

I would get rid of the clock. Okay. I get, I'd get every analytic guy outta there. All the nerds. Drop 'em off in the middle of the lake and let 'em swim in... they're the guys that are making all, all the, all the calls and everything... a computer doesn't tell you it doesn't have a heartbeat.

The Jordan Poole contract is the worst in sports history because it destroyed the Warriors' chemistry

I think you could make the argument that the Jordan Poole contract was the worst contract ever given out in all of sports. Not just because of the money given to Jordan Poole, but what it did to the rest of the team. Because that was like Klay watching that. Draymond watching that. It like screwed up the whole vibes of everything.

Duke and John Scheyer failed as a 'Brotherhood' by not stopping the Kyle Filipowski grooming

Duke, do something. I mean, it's, let's proud Duke. Why wouldn't you... they clearly didn't say it strong enough. They cared more about getting points and rebounds out of the guy than his own mental health wellbeing. The brotherhood means nothing. The brotherhood is essentially the brotherhood until you get groomed as a high schooler and then gets snatched up and then have your girlfriend excommunicate your family.

There was a 30% chance Taylor Swift would attend the Beer Olympics

I've heard from multiple reports that Will said there was a 30% chance that Taylor Swift was gonna come to the beer Olympics... You never know. I think there's still a chance she might show up... when Dave was really wasn't on board, he was like, you could get me back. If you get Taylor Swift there. Right. Okay. So we're like, okay, there's a shot.

Caitlin Clark is on the 'can't win the big one' list because she never won a title at Iowa

Caitlin Clark can't win the big one. She has not been able to win the big one. She lost... she literally college cannot win the big one and like, I don't know what else you could say about it.

Joey Chestnut's ban from the Nathan's contest is a sign of the late stages of the American empire

Joey Chestnut has been banned from the Nathan's hot dog eating competition on July 4th in America is at its knees. It's the end of it. It feels like the late stages of an empire. This is the sign.

Joel Embiid is no longer a top-five NBA player

That fifth spot is not reserved for Embiid for me anymore in the way that it was prior to this season. I mean, at some point man, at some point... I'm sick of seeing playoff games where I need him to figure out a way to unlock the possession and get him into his stuff on his own in a way that I don't think he's capable of doing the way other guys are.

Tiger Woods definitely used HGH to come back from his injuries

Tiger If you ever wanna come on the podcast... did Tiger ever do do steroids? You think I Why doesn't it get talked about though? ... He definitely, it's just out of respect for him. Is it, is it deference? He definitely used it to come back from stuff for sure. ... I think he without a doubt a hundred percent used HGH to come back from injuries.

The 'Uncrustable Diet' is the perfect way to get in shape for age 40

I'm trying a new diet that I think I invented, which is strictly Uncrustables. ... My meal plan is, I eat four Uncrustables a day. ... I think that the Uncrustable is probably the perfect snack. The perfect meal, the perfect everything.

I'm sprinkling a bet on the Timberwolves to be the first team to come back from down 3-0

I may put a little future on the Wolves to be the first team to come back and... Timberwolves plus a thousand. They just can't be any worse. And the thing is, they're not playing good, but they're still building leads into the fourth quarter.

Every hobby a man has is designed primarily to attract women

It's from Ed Latimore, former professional boxer... All of your hobbies and ambitions are to attract women. Nature doesn't care how much personal fulfillment you get from them. Those things are cool, but they're coincidental positive externality to the Prime objective to keep the species going. Every hobby that you have is designed to attract women.

The Celtics will sweep the rest of the playoffs through the Eastern Conference Finals

We're the Boston Celtics. We're gonna beat the fuck out of 'em the next game. Beat the fuck out of 'em again. Beat the fuck out of 'em again. And then the Pacers and Knicks are both gonna be dead by the time they come to us. That's a clean sweep, clean sweep.

The Celtics will beat the Cavaliers by a cumulative triple-digit point differential in the series

[Hank] is on pace for his triple digits prediction bloodbath for point differential in this series. The Celtics won by 25... we're on pace. This should be a four-one if not 4-0.

Tyrese Maxey is better than Jaylen Brown

I mean, Tyrese Maxey is better than Jaylen Brown for sure. Ooh, for sure. [Hank] would trade Jaylen Brown for Tyrese Maxey immediately.