Takes

The Patriots will win the Super Bowl by 50 points

Any divisional rival... Do I not want [Seattle] to win? ... Patriots by 50. That's what I've said all week.

I bet on Josh Dobbs to win Super Bowl MVP

I got a massive bet on the Patriots. I also put a bet on Josh Dobbs to win Super Bowl MVP. The New England Patriot, big time Patriot.

AJ Brown will likely be traded by the Philadelphia Eagles this offseason

I won't be surprised if AJ Brown is traded in the off season. I think we're at the point where it makes sense for both sides for him to move on. They can find another receiver, they can make their offense go without him.

The Arizona Cardinals should fire Jonathan Gannon and hire Josh McDaniels

In the Cardinal's wildest dreams... Probably fire Gannon. Figure out a way to trade Kyler Murray. ... Hire Josh McDaniels. He's gonna get another shot.

Kyle Pitts will eventually have 20 touchdowns in one season

I predicted that Kyle Pitts will have the greatest year of any tight end of ever in year 20 in the NFL. He'll have 20 touchdowns. That's a fact.

If the Chiefs lose to the Colts this Sunday, they will miss the playoffs

If the Chiefs lose to the Colts this Sunday, they're missing the playoffs. Period. Point blank. It's just math. ... This will be the first step into them basically kind of the dynasty crumbling because if they lose to the Colts, I'm telling you right now, you can book it. They're not making the playoffs.

The Jets will not lose another game for the rest of the season

Honestly. Yeah. I don't think they should lose another game for the rest of the [season].

Virginia will make the College Football Playoff

Virginia guys is like Brady, Quinn. Like, they, they might make the college football playoff dude. Their schedule's awesome. They'll be 11 and one. And if they lose to Miami in ACC like 11 or 10 and two, whatever it is, they might be, that's the one team dude I think that's the one team that no one is talking about.

The Jets will not win a single game for the rest of the season

After last night's game, I don't think they're gonna win a game. I think they're gonna go... that team did not look like they could win a game.

The Patriots' ceiling is a Super Bowl appearance if they beat the Bills

I would like to put Super Bowl appearance. Asterisk... I think we're gonna shock the world this Sunday and then anything's possible.

The Texans are officially my Pinky Team and I don't think they can win the Super Bowl

The Texans are officially be my Pinky team... I will cut the tip of my pinky off of the Texans win the Super Bowl. That's a, that's a fair. And I don't even think, yeah. I hate the pinky bet. Yeah. I don't understand. I don't understand thrilling.

I'm eventually going to lose the tip of my pinky on a bet

I'm probably gonna lose a pinky. Eventually. I'm gonna lose a pinky. We're gonna do this show for the next 40 years. I'm gonna do this bet every year for some year. I'm gonna lose the pinky.

The Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl

Bills have the easiest schedule now. Undefeated. Would it, wouldn't it be funny if the bills went undefeated? It's week one. I'm not gonna overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are gonna go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.

Jayden Daniels will break every single NFL quarterback record this season

I really believe Jayden Daniels is going to break all QB records this season... I think he's going to have 5,000 passing yards... I think he's going to have 1,600 rushing yards.

I will cut my penis off if Rutgers is ever ranked #1 in football

I said when Greg Schiano was announced as the head coach of Rutgers, that if... Rutgers is ever ranked number one in football, I will cut my penis off. I feel good about that bet, actually.

The Denver Broncos have one of the five best rosters in football and are Super Bowl contenders

The Bo Nicks thing to me, like it makes total sense... I think the Broncos are, are amazing. Like they, they have one of the five best rosters in football. I think they're a Super Bowl contender.

Nikola Jokic will force a trade from Denver to the Chicago Bulls because of the large Serbian population in Chicago

I think Nikola Jokic is gonna force a trade out of Denver at the end of the season to the Chicago Bulls. Whoa. Number one Serbia population in America. Wow. That's just a wild one.

The Knicks are going to hire Rick Brunson as their head coach

There's a theory that they're crossing all these names off. They're gonna ask everybody get denied and then they're gonna go back with a Rick Brunson being the coach. That's a theory I saw out there.

The Carolina Panthers are destined for the Super Bowl because Ohio State won and Jennifer Lopez is getting divorced

2024 Ohio State wins the National championship. The Panthers have a losing record. Next year, 2025, the Panthers open up with the Jacksonville Jaguars again. Also in 2002, Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce... 2014 Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce... 2024 Jennifer Lopez files for divorce from Ben Affleck. It seems like the Carolina Panthers gonna be the Super Bowl.

The Bears and Commanders will meet in the 2025 NFC Championship game

This is January 25th and it is the Washington Commanders against the Chicago Bears for the NFC championship. Wow. That is my game of the year. Putting it all on the line.

The Detroit Tigers will win the American League

I'll say this right now. I think the Detroit Tigers are gonna win The AL. I don't know if they can win the World Series. There's some good teams in the NL... in the last month, it's like [Javi Baez] recaptured something and, and, and come back to the world as, as what the electrifying Javi Baez was.

St. John's is going to win the National Championship

St. John's win it all. I filled out my entire bracket. It's kind of, it's a weird final four... Michigan State. St. John's. BYU. Kentucky.

Alabama will beat Auburn in the National Championship game

In this bracket... I have Bama beating Wisconsin and then Duke on the way to the Final Four... And they're going to beat Auburn to win it all.

Rob Gronkowski is considering an NFL comeback with the Denver Broncos

Rob Gronkowski is considering a return to the NFL and that he would like to potentially play for the Denver Broncos... I'm told he loves Denver and Quarterback Bo Nix... He's gonna be a Bronco. There's no other way for him to do this than be a Bronco.

Drake Maye will win a Super Bowl before Patrick Mahomes wins another one

Who wins the Super Bowl first? Drake Maye. Okay.

Jameis Winston would lead the Jets to a #1 seed and a Super Bowl if he started 17 games.

If we're gonna suck, I would rather just have fun watching football and just go with Jameis Winston for 17 games... He said on the Pardon My Take interview that he wants to be a bridge quarterback and he wants to win a Super Bowl. I'm sold. He's the guy. starts all 17 games, number one seed, Super Bowl.

Anthony Richardson will be out of the NFL in a couple of years

We drafted as our QB one Anthony Richardson on our team... It will never happen again. I actually, I'm, I'm coming in here with takes. I think Anthony Richardson is out of the league in a couple years.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl

Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. Guaranteed. Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. That's, I I believe it end the season. Tip of the pinky. If the Falcons somehow win this game on Monday night, I have to also have the Rams.

Washington will win the Big 10

Washington Huskies plus 8,000... I'm gonna go with the conference, our local conference. The big 10, little long shot.

The Chiefs will not win the AFC West and will enter the playoffs as a Wild Card

I think that division's [AFC West] gonna be scrappy, top to bottom... I think they make the playoffs as a wild card. I don't think they win the division. I'm telling you, I think it's just my—why do you hate the Chiefs? I don't hate the Chiefs. No, it feels personal.

Jaden Daniels' floor is Josh Allen

My biggest fear now is that Jaden Daniels is gonna be so goddamn good and that Jaden Daniels is gonna be awesome. Like I'm talking Joe Burrow, I'm talking Josh Allen... I'd say minimum, minimum, Josh Allen.

The Patriots will have more combined wins than the Bears and Commanders

My preemptive take of the year is that Drake Maye in New England [Patriots] are going to have more combined wins than the Washington football team and Chicago Bears.

Xander Schauffele will never lose another major championship in his career

Xander Schauffele has lost his last major ever. I'm gonna see if I can parlay all four. You've already lost your last major. That's crazy.

The US will be under a massive cyber attack sooner rather than later

I suggest you take out all your money outta your bank and stop using credit cards for the next few months until I can give you the green light again. We will be under a cyber attack sooner rather than later. Just looking out, I'm in communication with the very important person for one of, if not the biggest software companies in the world.

The eclipse and the CERN particle collider will send us into the fourth dimension

They're turning CERN on the day of the eclipse. And I believe the research is they're trying to reach a fourth dimension... Once the the moon covers the sun when it comes back, like we'll be in the fourth dimension. Like everything will be different.

I will be able to dunk a basketball and hit twenty three-pointers within the next ten months

I'm going hard to dunk... summer, that's exactly my plan. I'm already over leveraged. What if I do both and hit 20 threes? I just have to basically change my entire lifestyle way of thinking and everything.

I am betting $5,000 on a Kyle Juszczyk anytime touchdown and Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown parlay to win $1 million

I'm gonna parlay [Kyle] Juszczyk anytime touchdown with Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown. Five grand to win $1 million. Done.

Bronny James will win an NBA Finals before the Patriots make the playoffs again

Bronny James will win an NBA finals before the Patriots make the playoffs again.

The Eagles are already Super Bowl champions

Congratulations to the Eagles for getting the one seed. I don't see them losing the Max. Congratulations. Eagles. super Bowl champions.

The Bills will make the Super Bowl and lose to the Cowboys

My overly direct take is that I think the Bills are gonna make the Super Bowl... And then lose to the Cowboys... I think they're gonna rally and and make a deep run.

Joe Flacco will lead the Browns to an AFC North title

My overly direct take guys, is that Joe Flacco will lead the Cleveland Browns to an AFC North Division Championship.

The Commanders will finish 9-8 and make the playoffs

I'm now talking myself back in the playoffs. Ooh. Because someone's gotta get that seventh spot... I think nine [wins]. I'm going to be honest and say Loss at Ramps. Win. At Jets Win. Okay. There it is. Yep. Niners loss. Cowboys Win. Wait, that, that's still eight... run it back and count again... That's nine. That's fine. and we're in the playoffs as the 17th.

Jim Harbaugh had no knowledge of the Michigan sign-stealing scandal

I'm going with the theory that Jim Harbaugh had no knowledge of it and that Michigan is going to get sanctioned and Jim Harbaugh, 'cause he had no knowledge of it, has to recuse himself from Michigan and go coach the Chicago Bears.

Nebraska has an opportunity to win the Big 10 West and go to Indianapolis

We can win the Big 10 West and go to Indy... The West goes through Lincoln. We are holding the gun.

Charlie Woods is on pace to win 40 majors

Charlie Woods just won a tournament. Charlie won a tournament... right now he's on pace to win 40 Majors, which is pretty incredible.

Rupert Murdoch is 'going to die soon' after retiring

He's [Rupert Murdoch] going to die soon. He's like Choppa, you take him out of his job, he going to die... Rupert Murdoch, he's gonna fall down some stairs and die. I'm gonna call my shot right now. He's dead.

I believe I can win 12 majors in my career

I feel like I can get to 12. I mean, think how many, I've already blown like... I feel like I should have nine right now.

The Bears will finish 11 and 5 and beat the Chiefs

I do think the Bears are still gonna be good this year. And Justin Fields, he's, they're gonna open it up. They're gonna beat the Bucs. I'm now, I'm back. They're gonna beat the Bucs. And guess what? They're gonna be beat the Chiefs. They are. Chris Jones won't be playing still. The Bears are gonna be 11 and five this year.

Iowa will score 31 points per game and win the Big 10 West

I'm on record. They're gonna score 31 points per game and I think they're gonna win the west. I think they are the best team. They're the one I have the fewest questions about.

I will cut off a testicle if the Miami Hurricanes lose to Miami of Ohio

My hundred percent lock. I I will, I will cut off a testicle if Miami doesn't win that game.