Takes

Teddy Bridgewater doesn't get enough credit and just wins games

I don't give Teddy Bridgewater enough credit. Teddy Bridgewater deserves more credit for being... now, you know getting a starting job for a rebuilding Panthers team... all he does is win and like I know they're only 2 and 2 but everyone thought... the Panthers were going to be one of the worst teams in the league.

The Warriors' lack of adjustment against Peyton Pritchard in the 4th quarter was a massive mistake

I don't understand what the warriors were doing where like Peyton Pritchard was on Steph Curry because Marcus smart was on the bench and they didn't attack Peyton Pritchard the entire fourth quarter. It was crazy. Like they just didn't, they, I don't know why they didn't attack him.

The Phillies losing Game 2 was a 'better way to lose' than a bad loss because they showed fight

I would much rather see go down like that than if they were to roll over. It's not a good loss. It was a bad loss... but the team showed enough fight to win that game. The Braves just played better in the ninth. I would rather see [that].

A 'Hangover Crawl' starting with Pedialyte cocktails and ending in a movie theater would be a million-dollar business

I think it can make a million bucks. We start a hangover crawl, which is like a 1 o'clock meetup... You start out with Pedialyte cocktails, a Bloody Mary. You move on to like a Klonopin bar, some margaritas. Then you go to like a movie theater where you play a boring movie, let people pass out for 90 minutes. Give them an IV... I think that's key.

Teddy Bridgewater's refusal to tackle Darius Slay was a terrible 'business decision'

I don't think I've ever seen a bigger business decision than that... All you have to do is just like lay down, pull the Phillip Rivers move... you don't even try just, you know what? It's not a good look, Teddy.

The Toronto Raptors are the softest team I've ever watched

The Raptors are the softest team I've ever watched. And having Fred VanVleet take the game-winning shot in overtime, how do you have DeRozan and Lowry and you have these guys... they shrink in every big moment. They're so soft that they made Kevin Love look like the tough guy.

The third quarter Warriors are the most fun team in the NBA to watch

The third quarter Warriors are the most fun team in the NBA to watch. They're insane. I absolutely love them.

Trevor Lawrence is Teddy Bridgewater 2.0

He's like a six-month-old dog... His paws are big. He's got skinny shoulders. He's got skinny hips. Skinny knees. He's like Teddy Bridgewater 2.0.

I would rather watch the playoffs fan-free than have the Patriots make it just to get smoked

Honestly, I know I have to watch these games anyway. I would rather just watch the playoffs completely fan free because I know it's get my hopes up and be like, oh, you know, I have to worry about and like, kind of put myself up for them winning. Even though if they won the first game, they're getting smoked the second game. They're probably getting smoked the first game.

The Lakers were never winning a title because their roster was the problem, not coaching.

I still think that the roster is the problem that they just don't have enough guys. And the Nuggets were a better basketball team no matter how many minutes the Lakers led. Execution and being able to win games late is what makes the team better... They were a good team. They were never a great team.

Teddy Bridgewater can't throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field

I don't think Teddy Bridgewater can throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. So I like that under.

I unequivocally believe in Teddy Bridgewater as a franchise quarterback.

I do [believe in Teddy Bridgewater]. Yes, unequivocally... his arm strength is a problem, but it's the same problem that Rivers has had and Rivers is a perfectly fine quarterback... I know he has the arm strength of a dragonfly, but I like him.

I would rather watch March Madness 100 times out of 100 over the WBC

If you tell me, would you rather watch World Baseball Classic or March Madness? I'd say March Madness a hundred times out of a hundred times.

It is time for an open and honest dialogue about Teddy Bridgewater not being a franchise starter

Teddy doesn't look great. And he's so easy to root for too because of the injury and all that stuff. And everywhere he goes, people seem to love him. But I think it's time for America to have an open and honest dialogue about Teddy Bridgewater. I don't think that John Elway is going to stick with Teddy going into [next year].

Teddy Bridgewater is not a better quarterback than Blake Bortles

Can I just say fuck everyone for thinking that Teddy Bridgewater is better than Blake Bortles? ... Blake had a bad wrist last year, and he got it cleaned up. And he was a quarter away from the Super Bowl, so everyone just shut up.

Jack Del Rio is like a gambler on a heater who just lost all his money

Jack Del Rio, he's your friend who got on a heater and was like, no, no, no, don't worry, guys. I'm still up. I'm still up. And then you look and he's lost all his money.

Teddy Bridgewater is a good quarterback when the offense allows him to throw deep

Teddy Bridgewater is actually good when you let him throw the ball deep. ... I think his problem is Teddy is very, very accurate on short passes and so then they just have him throw those all the time ... but just let him throw the ball deep and the offense actually looks competent.

October football results don't matter; wake me up when it's playoff time

Actually, you know what? I might just flip my mentality. I might, I might put on my, my Hank hat for a second. We're talking about October football game. Like, it wake me up when it's playoff time. This team doesn't, we don't, we don't even take things seriously until the playoffs.

Super Bowl 53 was the worst Super Bowl I've ever watched

That was the worst Super Bowl. I think we can all agree the worst Super Bowl we've ever watched. [It] just wasn't well played. Like, it was compelling because it was close late... but it just was gross.

Pat Bev's interaction with the reporter wasn't that bad; it's just something he's been doing all year to everyone.

I'll start with the, the reporter thing. I didn't think it was that bad. Reporters love defending reporters. Pat Bev's been doing this all year. Subscribe to the pod... People making it like a misogynistic thing is crazy. He's been doing it to guys too.

I prefer watching women's soccer over men's soccer because the U.S. actually wins.

I actually like watching women's soccer better than men's soccer because we actually win in women's soccer.

'Abducted in Plain Sight' is the most jaw-dropping documentary I've ever watched

Whatever you're doing right now, drop everything and watch Abducted in Plain Sight because it is—let's just say it's the most jaw-dropping documentary I've ever watched. Not like a good—it wasn't one of those documentaries where you come across being like, man, I'm really thinking about it. It was awesome. I just said what the fuck probably about 15 times.

Drafting Jalen Carter was a genius move for the Eagles, but he would not have worked for the Bears because they lack veteran defensive leadership.

I actually think that it was genius for the Eagles to take [Jalen Carter]. And the Bears did not take him because everything we've heard about him, he needs veteran leadership around him. The Bears do not have that. The Eagles have the opposite. They have a lot of great defensive players, a lot of older Fletcher Cox, like a lot of guys that will help him.

Marquis Noel is the best individual performance I've ever watched in the tournament

It was the best game I've ever watched in my life out of a single player. Like you can, you can point to other individual performances in the tournament... but the way that he took over the entire court was unreal.

The Chicago Cubs are the most maddening and frustrating team I've ever watched

My fire fest is the Chicago cups. They're the most maddening team, frustrating team I've ever watched. They just want to toy with everyone's hearts and they win one game, lose one game, lose two games. Don't score for a week. Then they look awesome... I am at the point where I'm just I don't even know what I want anymore.

Teddy Bridgewater going to the Jets is a bad move because he'll look bad in the green uniforms

Teddy Bridgewater reportedly going to the Jets. That sucks for Teddy because that's one of those uniform things where as soon as he puts on the green, you're going to be like, that guy sucks.

I'd rather watch Marshawn Lynch be disappointed at bad NFL games than the actual broadcast

I would just like to watch beast mode be disappointed at shitty games for the rest of the season. Just watch and be like, what the fuck are they doing out there?

Conor McGregor's rampage at Barclays Center was a real incident, not a work

I cannot figure out, a lot of people are saying it might be a work. I think it's real. I think it's absolutely real.

The USGA's ban on the belly putter was a major mistake that cost me money and potential Ryder Cup appearances

I would think a lot of times of how much money this [belly putter ban] cost me or how many Ryder Cups maybe this cost me or majors or whatever... it was a tough time but I now when I look back, it's great cuz I shoved it, you know, screw them and now I feel better than ever.

I hate watching playoff football on an app like Peacock

I hate the experience of watching a game on an app as opposed to watching on TV, where you can easily and elegantly and seamlessly flip back and forth and show off your skills going back to the game right as it's about to snap again... it's a playoff game and it stinks.

It is better to watch the Yankees lose late in the playoffs than in the Wild Card game

I'm going to disagree on the fact that you're glad they lost tonight because it's going to be so much better to watch them lose two games or three games.

The 49ers are no longer fun to watch and I'm very worried about them

I am very worried about the Niners now. I figured that they were gonna kick the shit out of the Seahawks today. ... I used to watch the 49ers play and be excited to watch them play. And that stopped when this season started. Even though they got Christian McCaffrey back, they're not fun to watch on offense right now.

The NFL gave Deshaun Watson an 11-game suspension specifically so his return would be against the Texans

Why is it 11 games? That's a weird number. Right? So you look at the schedule that game that he'd be coming back would be against the Houston Texans. So they have to talk about it all the time throughout the entire game... Homecoming.

I am not spending 12 hours of my Saturday watching mediocre college football

I'm not locking in my entire 12 hours of a day on Saturday, the only day we're not in the office, to to watch a random ass week one game when there's only like three good ones... Your happiness comes from watching 12 hours of football and watching State Pittsburgh. Your happiness is from golfing. You should do what makes you happy.

Watching Caleb Williams play made me feel like an idiot for ever believing in Mitch Trubisky or Justin Fields

Watching Caleb Williams play quarterback made me feel like the dumbest person in the entire world forever thinking that Mitch Trubisky and Justin Fields were the guys. 'Cause it looks so different. Yeah. And I know it's preseason... but it just looks different. Like he's his, he's confident, poised, like reading the defense, it just looks different.

Noah Lyles is the Hater of the Year for his comments on the NBA

Noah Lyles... might have to do that as a Takey Hater of the Year. Because he was the one who before the Olympics said, you don't win a world championship if you win the NBA championship. That's not the world... He definitely got cut playing basketball. He's got some very deep seated anger for any ball sport.

Whoever won the Thunder-Nuggets series was going to be the NBA champion no matter what

I think whoever won that Thunder-Nuggets series, that was going to be the champion no matter what. That was going to be the champion no matter what.

Djokovic is the undisputed GOAT of tennis after winning Olympic gold

Djokovic is the goat. One gold big deal. On Clay beating Nadal. Beat, beat the whole country of Spain.

Kansas is going to be a bummer to watch and a 'pain in the ass' in the tournament

Kansas is a bummer to watch. Because you're gonna look at them and think, oh wait, it's Kansas. Kansas is the tournament Bill Self and the tournament. They're gonna be a pain in the ass to watch.

Jerry Jones no longer wants an Alpha coach; he wants someone who will just do what he says.

Jerry Jones, the Jerry Jones from the nineties... that guy doesn't exist anymore. He just wants a coach that will just follow whatever he says and guess who's gonna follow whatever he says. The career assistant who is down the hall. He'll never. Thank you for the opportunity, sir. Ever since Bill Parcells, he's not gonna hire someone who is gonna have that Alpha Energy and be like, this is my show.

Skip Bayless is the biggest Luka Doncic hater on the planet

My new favorite takeout there is how skip Bayless is now the biggest Luka hater on the planet, on the fucking planet. He's kind of, he's doing that exact same thing where he just like, he cherry picks the perfect stats to talk about Luka. He's like, he will not forget the games that the Mavericks lost in this series.

James Harden is a quitter whose personality can't be trusted when playoff situations get tense

I have a problem with anyone who's a professional athlete who is okay deciding that they're just not going to be competitive twice in a year because they don't like their situation... if you're okay sucking on purpose and having it happen that many times in a very short span, then why would I bet on your personality when everything's tense and it matters.

Cats are soulless animals that would watch their owners die slowly without helping

Can an animal without a soul ever be alive? ... [A cat] will just sit there and watch you die slowly. That's basically the best case scenario for owning a cat.

The traditional NFL broadcast is still better than the Manningcast for watching an entire game

My only thing is that it's good, but I feel like the regular broadcast is still better. Like when I'm watching the Manning broadcast, it just doesn't feel like a big game. It's casual and it's good, but watching an entire game, I keep switching back to the regular broadcast.

Trent Dilfer was coaching hard, not committing physical assault in his viral high school video

I hate the argument you never put your hands on a player it's like grabbing a guy by shoulder, grabbing him by the elbow. Come on. Are we really going to get upset about that. Obviously, if it's like punching choking... this, there was no malicious intent in this.

Celebrity boxing exhibitions are fine as cash grabs, but it's a problem when the public believes they are watching real fights

I'm all for anybody—boxing is unbridled capitalism, right?... I'm fine with the cash grab... exhibitions are never going away. The problem is, is when the public actually believes they're watching a fight. Floyd Mayweather going to sit in there and telling you... 'I'm just going to go in and just do this and carry the guy and dance around.' But when the public actually thinks they're watching a fight and are talking about it as if it's a fight... that's where I don't go for it.

John Daly's career has been awesome and if you think otherwise you're a hater

My favorite take is when people say, oh, what a shame, John Daly's career. He really could have had it all. John Daly has had it all. His career actually has been awesome. If you think otherwise, then you're just a hater.

Replay review has ruined the watchability of basketball

Review in NBA and college basketball has ruined the watchability of basketball games because it just the last five minutes take forever. And they look at every little piece of the game and did it go off this guy? It was unwatchable. They need to dial it back.

Russell Wilson is the J.J. Watt of 'corny' cliches taken to the extreme.

Russell Wilson is J.J. Watt to a millionth degree... J.J. Watt is a normal person when you break it down... J.J. Watt is just very nice. Russell Wilson is nice and he thinks he's solving the world's problems. And he also think he was like, I think he probably thinks he's a prophet.

Joey Chestnut is the best eater of all time in the history of the world

Everybody eats. Joey Chestnut is the best person, the best eater of all time in the history of the world. He needs to be rich for that fact.