Takes

The $1.2 billion valuation of the Enhanced Games is a fake number.

The enhanced games just got valued at $1.2 billion. And the enhanced games... are the steroid users alternative to the Olympics. It's being run by Peter Thiel. It sounds like it's a fake valuation because it just sounds good to say $1.2 billion.

NVIDIA's DLSS 5 is an AI takeover that is hurting graphics and animation jobs

Nvidia did a, our, oh, I don't know the stock hand off the top of my head... they announced a product DLSS five. So they're, they're bringing AI into like video games, animations and like graphics. So like kind of boxing out guys. Like people who, like jobs that would've been done by humans are now more getting outsourced. AI not cool.

The Bears' stadium threats are just an anchoring tactic for negotiations

It's kinda like the Bears Stadium situation, which I've been saying all along. Like when they first said Arlington Heights, everyone's like, you can't move the Bears outta Chicago. Then they're like, what about Indiana? No, you can't move 'em outta state. Okay, what about Arlington Heights? Oh, that's sick. They're basically saying, Hey Carson Wentz. No, we can't have Carson Wentz. Okay, what about Gino Smith? Oh, actually that's pretty good compared to Carson Wentz. Smart.

AI technology is failing because it doesn't justify its investment costs

I think AI is in hot water. I feel like this is, we're we're in a good spot as humanity right now where AI has not been making enough money to justify all the investment. ... We might beat the robots.

AI is overhyped and will likely ruin everyone's life

I don't get the hype on ai. I feel like at best it's gonna just like, ruin everyone's life. Except for like a few people who will make all the money... I don't get why anyone is like pro ai... this could be really bad for everyone.

Pay-per-view is definitely not dead

Pay-per-view isn't dead. I mean, I'm gonna do a pay-per-view this Saturday. And when we were doing this deal, you know, even with the streaming services that we were talking to all the different ones, some of them still had pay-per-view options. So pay-per-view is not dead. That's not true.

It is a red flag that prominent NBA owners are cashing out right now

Isn't it interesting that the Lakers got a screaming good deal on what's going to be the face of their franchise for the next 10, 15 years right before they sold? ... Mark Cuban sold the Dallas Mavericks, the Celtics got sold... Is that a good sign for every other owner if all the preeminent owners are selling their teams right now? ... Are we hitting the bubble?

Sports owners should be forced to sell if their team doesn't make the playoffs for five consecutive years

I think they should have a new rule in own, in, in all sports that if, what call it five years, if you don't make the playoffs in five years, automatic sale. Like whatever the threshold is, that would be awesome. 'cause relegation is never gonna come to American sports. But if you could relegate owners that would be sick.

The current music industry model of overpriced 'paper tickets' and dominant promoter dynasties is in the process of failing.

You know the system of of, you know, we're watching it fall right now. Like these paper tickets, giant dynasties going to these giant rooms and selling half the room. 800 bucks a pop... So it's like, I'm the guy who bought an $800 ticket and Joe Blow behind me didn't pay anything for the sausage I bought. How was there not like a big class action lawsuit?

William Chisholm is a smart business mind and will be a great owner for the Celtics

Clearly a very smart business mind. And I'm excited to, to see what he's got in store. Hopefully he likes the Celtics and isn't doing this as a business... He agrees to purchase the Celtics from the Grousbeck family for a valuation of $6.1 billion.

Business school is a complete racket where you just pay for connections

Business school's a a complete racket by the way. They just, you basically pay so much money to go and meet a bunch of people that then you can use to get jobs. It's not like you're learning anything. You're just meeting people who are also are in business. And then you use those connections. You're paying for connections.

Power Slap is the most successful business I have ever been part of in such a short time

The most successful business I've ever been a part of in such a short amount of time. [Power Slap]

The Chicago Bears are the most under-marketed entity in American commerce

I don't believe that there is a more under-marketed entity in American commerce than the Chicago Bears... in this city... it's a football town... and with the Bears, you know, in '85 and like that was, it was just, it engulfed everything. And they've been living off it since.

Boeing should be on a hotter seat

Boeing explodes during maintenance at an Atlanta airport killing two Delta employees. I feel like they should be on a hotter seat. I wish I knew if I was flying on a Boeing or not... allegesly. But don't kill me.

NFL owners should pay for their own stadiums without public tax money

I think billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadiums. Agreed. That's a spicy take. I know. Bleep that out. Please.

The narrative that AI is an existential threat to humanity is a marketing ploy designed to make the technology seem more advanced than it is

The people who are being terrified about AI and all this buzz about AI taking over everyone's job, taking over the world. That's marketing. That the AI people are trying to get out there to build buzz about AI and also make you think it's advanced.

Naming a company 'MegaCorp' guarantees you will eventually try to destroy the Earth

If you name your company MegaCorp, at some point in the history of your company, you will try to destroy the earth.

The Buffalo Bills winning a Super Bowl would be the biggest merchandise market for Fanatics

What you generally look for is teams with great heritage that haven't won for a long time. The Buffalo Bills would be spectacular for business. Because they have great heritage... think about everyone who grew up in Buffalo who has any connectivity in Buffalo. Every one of them would buy $500 in merchandise.

If a sports owner has two teams, they will always have a favorite child

No. Because like, this will get into a situation where if you own two teams, like which one does [the owner] care about more? ... it's kinda like a Jerry Reinsdorf situation with the White Sox and Bulls. Like we, you gotta have a favorite child.

Take $500,000 over a dinner with Jay-Z

[$500,000]. Because most likely Jay-Z has said it a million times in various different ways. So it would be like me saving $500,000 just to spend two days looking at every single interview he's ever done... why do I need to listen to him? I could save $500,000.

Sam Bankman-Fried was exposed as the biggest dork alive after his arrest

It's the fact that like to the regular world, I count myself in that where I'm not really into crypto. He just got exposed as being the biggest dork alive. Like I saw a picture of him and I heard his voice and I was like, this guy's a fucking dork.

Jeff Bezos hates fat people, poor people, and people with weak bladders

I'm pretty confident in saying Jeff Bezos hates fat people. He hates poor people. It's people who have like weak bladders, he hates. There's a lot of people that Jeff Bezos finds disgusting. That's a fact.

Beachfront spray kiosks for sunscreen would be a 'godsend' invention

I have a beach idea. ... it's a spray tan booth, but it's got sunscreen, spray sunscreen in it. So you just walk through it, they set up like a kiosk and you walk through it on your way out to the beach. You pay like 10 bucks and then you turn around like your Tony Hawk, your entire body gets coated in sunscreen. I feel like for kids, especially if you got kids, this is like a godsend of an invention.

Use the phrase 'My understanding was' instead of 'I thought' to sound more professional when you screw up

Instead of saying, 'I thought we were supposed to do this, this and this,' say, 'My understanding was that I was supposed to do this, this and this.' It's a great way of saying the exact same thing, but also making it like halfway seem like you have your shit together because you had an understanding.

Call for more meetings at work to make yourself feel and look important

I would encourage people to call for more meetings... people love fucking meetings. You could meet with and set a meeting... You do feel important when you got a meeting. It's like, 'Oh, I got a meeting.'

The BMW 'Electric Avenue' was one of the three best commercials of Super Bowl 56

For me, the cars dominated this year's broadcast. One of them, obviously I have to award it to the electric avenue, BMW commercial for Zeus and the other. I like the Austin Powers one.

Robert Kraft's investment in a Call of Duty team is a genius move

Robert Kraft bought a Call of Duty team... everyone says that buying these roster spots is a waste of money... I would have agreed with them until Robert Kraft bought the top spot. Now genius investment.

Hot fashion brands typically only last five to seven years

The cycle of generally for fashion, a hot fashion brand lasts about five to seven years. There's a unicorns like Nike and Louis Vuitton. But you'll notice whether it's Benetton or Levi's... [they] chip away.

If I were starting FUBU in today's social media landscape, the brand would be ten times bigger than it originally was

If you had to do it again today, your, you know 20 year old Daymond John, do you think it still works... This would be, I would, it would be, it would be 10 times bigger. Really? Yeah. You remember, I didn't, the internet didn't even exist. Social media didn't exist. So I had to physically walk up and get into people's face to sell them something.

The only way to make real money in the stock market is to hold for 20 years

If you buy something on one of those [Robinhood/Ameritrade], the real way you're going to make money is to hold it for 20 years. If it's a value. But if you buy it, you naturally look at your account and you go back and go, 'oh, I'm Gordon Gekko. I just made $200. Let me sell it.'... It takes away your discipline.

AEW exists because WCW vacated the prime TNT/TBS television slot

AEW exists, in my opinion, because of the failure of WCW because they vacated this great time slot, this great relationship with TNT and TBS that we have. And that was the success of WCW was the outlet, the penetration they had from TNT, TBS, and, of course, the fans.

Car dealerships are all bullshit and haven't changed in years

The car dealerships have never changed. They advertise what they do, but it's all bullshit... I really believe if I went into one of these dealerships, not so much that I could sell cars, but I could show them what the fuck is wrong with what you're doing.

New Era intentionally released bad MLB hats to create FOMO and buzz for future drops

I bet you New Era did this intentionally, pulled them off the market fast. They were trending. Because the next time they drop a hat, everyone's going to buy it immediately. Because they'll be like, this might only be up for a half hour.

Guy Fieri's $80 million contract extension with the Food Network is a total bargain

Guy Fieri... signed a three-year, $80 million contract extension. It's a bargain. If you're the Food Network, you've got to have your guy. You've got to have a star.

Buying an NBA franchise is a better midlife crisis move than buying a sports car

What's tired: buying a sports car for your midlife crisis. Wired: buying a fucking NBA franchise.

Every major corporation needs a consultant specifically to identify if an idea will be mocked by the internet

It made me realize that I have job security no matter what in life in that every team and corporation should have on staff a person who essentially is just there to say, 'Hey, will we get made fun of for this?'... our, 'Will the internet make fun of you for this?' is absolutely a job we could do.

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is the correct reason to get into Bitcoin or Top Shot

If the only reason you're getting into it is a fear of missing out, that's the wrong reason? No, no, no, no. That's exactly the only reason to get in. The only reason to get into all of these things is that you don't want to someday be pumping the gas for a fucking Bitcoin billionaire's boat.

The 'Reddit millionaires' will be the funniest class of millionaires ever

I need the quote-unquote trolls of the internet... to be the power players and shift the entire dynamic... the Reddit millionaires are going to be fucking hilarious.

Bitcoin investors will die rich without ever spending their money because they're obsessed with being 'right' about the currency

The whole point of being rich is to spend money and do cool shit. Bitcoin people just... in the next 10 years it's going to be the only currency that exists... there's going to be at least a few people who die and they're like they're going to be on their deathbed and they're going to be worth 100 million dollars they didn't spend any of it but they're like but I I was right.

Hank's LR Quill sleep-aid toothpaste idea is terrible and tastes like crap

We tried both of these formulations [LR Quill/Lister Quill]... it didn't tell you to sleep on it. It tasted like crap.

Success is the only thing that separates a visionary from a fool

The difference between being a visionary and a fool is success. If it happens, you're a visionary. You're brilliant, right? Well, if it doesn't happen, you're an asshole.

HP has the worst customer service in the human race

I prepared on my Twitter account this morning thing that says about HP the worst cutting height I put him in quotations—customer service the worst in the human race. Whoa. And I could hurt so many people.

Joe Biden's plan to tax capital gains at regular income tax rates is a huge mistake

The way that even Biden—who I'm going to vote for—is saying that he's going to make the capital gains rate the same as regular income tax rates if you make over a million dollars, that's a huge mistake because that's going to negatively impact investment and creating jobs.

Modern Monetary Theory and sustained stimulus should be given a chance to work

There's this whole thing called modern monetary theory that says that there's a certain threshold of debt that you can keep on adding... We should just give this modern monetary theory approach with the stimulus payments a chance to work and see what happens because you never know where we'll end up.

Tesla for Tables: A self-leveling table technology

Tesla for tables... the table itself feels the surface around it and then adjusts so that there's never any wobble... every restaurant I go to has a set of wobbly table. All those tables wobble.

The 'Soup Tube' business idea is an absolute wave of the future

I would pay, I'd probably have like five or six different soup tubes installed in my kitchen right now... Out of the Monday readings we've done, Dave & Buster's guys is number one... Soup Tubes is number two... I would unironically purchase this.

It is a waste of energy to try to explain a streaming career to people who don't already understand it

I stopped giving a fuck a long time ago... I don't want to explain it. I don't want to talk to you about it. I just want to lay in bed with my dog and my cat and my girl... and everybody leave me the fuck alone. I've had so many of those conversations that I've realized it's a waste of energy. You're not going to get anywhere.

Opening a bar with your best friend is the quickest way to end the friendship

Most stories that take a turn start with the sentence 'and then we opened a bar together.' It's like, and then we opened a bar together and everything in our life like as friends as brothers went downhill. If you want to hate your best friend, open a bar with him.

Young comics should never give up the rights to their podcasts

If there's any young comics out there watching this, don't ever give up the rights to your podcast. You build the whole fucking thing yourself... agencies are not going to be happy that they didn't get to wet their beak on that thing.

Business is the ultimate competition and much harder than professional sports

In basketball, you compete for 48 minutes. You practice a couple hours. You guys know in business, it's 24 by 7 by 365, and everybody's trying to kick your ass. Everybody's trying to come after you, and you got to battle all the time. Sports are easy, easy. Business is the ultimate competition.