Takes

The $1.2 billion valuation of the Enhanced Games is a fake number.

The enhanced games just got valued at $1.2 billion. And the enhanced games... are the steroid users alternative to the Olympics. It's being run by Peter Thiel. It sounds like it's a fake valuation because it just sounds good to say $1.2 billion.

NVIDIA's DLSS 5 is an AI takeover that is hurting graphics and animation jobs

Nvidia did a, our, oh, I don't know the stock hand off the top of my head... they announced a product DLSS five. So they're, they're bringing AI into like video games, animations and like graphics. So like kind of boxing out guys. Like people who, like jobs that would've been done by humans are now more getting outsourced. AI not cool.

The Bears' stadium threats are just an anchoring tactic for negotiations

It's kinda like the Bears Stadium situation, which I've been saying all along. Like when they first said Arlington Heights, everyone's like, you can't move the Bears outta Chicago. Then they're like, what about Indiana? No, you can't move 'em outta state. Okay, what about Arlington Heights? Oh, that's sick. They're basically saying, Hey Carson Wentz. No, we can't have Carson Wentz. Okay, what about Gino Smith? Oh, actually that's pretty good compared to Carson Wentz. Smart.

Wendy's is having a 'rebuilding year' in fast food

Wendy's is to close hundreds of restaurants in 2026. And what interim CEO Ken Cook calls a rebuilding year. ... They're tanking for draft picks. Trust the process.

The government should intervene to force streaming services into a bundled sports package

If you wanna be a sports fan in America, you are paying a shit load of money... You have to get all these streaming packages. I think the government is gonna try to break 'em up... or force them to merge bundle into a bundle back to cable.

AI is overhyped and will likely ruin everyone's life

I don't get the hype on ai. I feel like at best it's gonna just like, ruin everyone's life. Except for like a few people who will make all the money... I don't get why anyone is like pro ai... this could be really bad for everyone.

Pay-per-view is definitely not dead

Pay-per-view isn't dead. I mean, I'm gonna do a pay-per-view this Saturday. And when we were doing this deal, you know, even with the streaming services that we were talking to all the different ones, some of them still had pay-per-view options. So pay-per-view is not dead. That's not true.

It is a red flag that prominent NBA owners are cashing out right now

Isn't it interesting that the Lakers got a screaming good deal on what's going to be the face of their franchise for the next 10, 15 years right before they sold? ... Mark Cuban sold the Dallas Mavericks, the Celtics got sold... Is that a good sign for every other owner if all the preeminent owners are selling their teams right now? ... Are we hitting the bubble?

Sports owners should be forced to sell if their team doesn't make the playoffs for five consecutive years

I think they should have a new rule in own, in, in all sports that if, what call it five years, if you don't make the playoffs in five years, automatic sale. Like whatever the threshold is, that would be awesome. 'cause relegation is never gonna come to American sports. But if you could relegate owners that would be sick.

The current music industry model of overpriced 'paper tickets' and dominant promoter dynasties is in the process of failing.

You know the system of of, you know, we're watching it fall right now. Like these paper tickets, giant dynasties going to these giant rooms and selling half the room. 800 bucks a pop... So it's like, I'm the guy who bought an $800 ticket and Joe Blow behind me didn't pay anything for the sausage I bought. How was there not like a big class action lawsuit?

William Chisholm is a smart business mind and will be a great owner for the Celtics

Clearly a very smart business mind. And I'm excited to, to see what he's got in store. Hopefully he likes the Celtics and isn't doing this as a business... He agrees to purchase the Celtics from the Grousbeck family for a valuation of $6.1 billion.

Business school is a complete racket where you just pay for connections

Business school's a a complete racket by the way. They just, you basically pay so much money to go and meet a bunch of people that then you can use to get jobs. It's not like you're learning anything. You're just meeting people who are also are in business. And then you use those connections. You're paying for connections.

The Chicago Bears are the most under-marketed entity in American commerce

I don't believe that there is a more under-marketed entity in American commerce than the Chicago Bears... in this city... it's a football town... and with the Bears, you know, in '85 and like that was, it was just, it engulfed everything. And they've been living off it since.

Boeing should be on a hotter seat

Boeing explodes during maintenance at an Atlanta airport killing two Delta employees. I feel like they should be on a hotter seat. I wish I knew if I was flying on a Boeing or not... allegesly. But don't kill me.

Buying a boat with the intention of recouping costs through charters is a scam

When I bought it originally I was told if I put it in the charter that I was gonna recoup a lot of the money back. And I already knew it was bullshit when it was happening. The projections and then the revenue—I don't even know if we hit 10% of the projections.

Gambling regulators simply do not like Barstool Sports

Turns out regulators maybe don't love Barstool, don't love us. And I get that. It's totally makes sense. I think Penn had the same thought, like, Hey, we thought this was gonna work out maybe a little better with regulators. It didn't. So we are back to being ourselves independent.

Naming a company 'MegaCorp' guarantees you will eventually try to destroy the Earth

If you name your company MegaCorp, at some point in the history of your company, you will try to destroy the earth.

I will eventually own a Taco Bell franchise with PFT and Hank

Let's just, let's agree to it right here. Like a suicide pact, but not suicide. Let's one day own Taco Bell together. I would love that. Would fucking sick.

If a sports owner has two teams, they will always have a favorite child

No. Because like, this will get into a situation where if you own two teams, like which one does [the owner] care about more? ... it's kinda like a Jerry Reinsdorf situation with the White Sox and Bulls. Like we, you gotta have a favorite child.

Take $500,000 over a dinner with Jay-Z

[$500,000]. Because most likely Jay-Z has said it a million times in various different ways. So it would be like me saving $500,000 just to spend two days looking at every single interview he's ever done... why do I need to listen to him? I could save $500,000.

You should double down on Amazon stock right now while it is at a 30% discount

Amazon, you should be doubling down on Amazon right now because right now if a car you loved was on a 30% discount, brand new, wouldn't you buy a couple of 'em?... it's gonna go back up.

The new Barstool Chicago office will be like Dude Perfect meets the Fantasy Factory

The office is gonna have a ton of awesome stuff... full basketball court, full golf simulator, full workout area... it's basically, if you thought about like if Barstool Sports met... Dude Perfect... Fantasy Factory.

Sam Bankman-Fried was exposed as the biggest dork alive after his arrest

It's the fact that like to the regular world, I count myself in that where I'm not really into crypto. He just got exposed as being the biggest dork alive. Like I saw a picture of him and I heard his voice and I was like, this guy's a fucking dork.

Jeff Bezos hates fat people, poor people, and people with weak bladders

I'm pretty confident in saying Jeff Bezos hates fat people. He hates poor people. It's people who have like weak bladders, he hates. There's a lot of people that Jeff Bezos finds disgusting. That's a fact.

Beachfront spray kiosks for sunscreen would be a 'godsend' invention

I have a beach idea. ... it's a spray tan booth, but it's got sunscreen, spray sunscreen in it. So you just walk through it, they set up like a kiosk and you walk through it on your way out to the beach. You pay like 10 bucks and then you turn around like your Tony Hawk, your entire body gets coated in sunscreen. I feel like for kids, especially if you got kids, this is like a godsend of an invention.

A 'Two Bears Racing' endurance team is a viable business idea

I came up with stupid fucking two bears racing... I fucking just invested a hundred thousand dollars... already in just talking about it, all our advertisers for two bears have asked if they could buy space on the car. And I'm like, oh, this could work out pretty good.

Use the phrase 'My understanding was' instead of 'I thought' to sound more professional when you screw up

Instead of saying, 'I thought we were supposed to do this, this and this,' say, 'My understanding was that I was supposed to do this, this and this.' It's a great way of saying the exact same thing, but also making it like halfway seem like you have your shit together because you had an understanding.

Call for more meetings at work to make yourself feel and look important

I would encourage people to call for more meetings... people love fucking meetings. You could meet with and set a meeting... You do feel important when you got a meeting. It's like, 'Oh, I got a meeting.'

The BMW 'Electric Avenue' was one of the three best commercials of Super Bowl 56

For me, the cars dominated this year's broadcast. One of them, obviously I have to award it to the electric avenue, BMW commercial for Zeus and the other. I like the Austin Powers one.

Liver King is a low-key business genius for selling organ meat

Liver king low-key a business genius... because he's figured out how to sell, he's a rancher, he's figured out how to sell the one part of cattle that was the hardest to sell, organ meat.

Robert Kraft's investment in a Call of Duty team is a genius move

Robert Kraft bought a Call of Duty team... everyone says that buying these roster spots is a waste of money... I would have agreed with them until Robert Kraft bought the top spot. Now genius investment.

If I were starting FUBU in today's social media landscape, the brand would be ten times bigger than it originally was

If you had to do it again today, your, you know 20 year old Daymond John, do you think it still works... This would be, I would, it would be, it would be 10 times bigger. Really? Yeah. You remember, I didn't, the internet didn't even exist. Social media didn't exist. So I had to physically walk up and get into people's face to sell them something.

The only way to make real money in the stock market is to hold for 20 years

If you buy something on one of those [Robinhood/Ameritrade], the real way you're going to make money is to hold it for 20 years. If it's a value. But if you buy it, you naturally look at your account and you go back and go, 'oh, I'm Gordon Gekko. I just made $200. Let me sell it.'... It takes away your discipline.

AEW exists because WCW vacated the prime TNT/TBS television slot

AEW exists, in my opinion, because of the failure of WCW because they vacated this great time slot, this great relationship with TNT and TBS that we have. And that was the success of WCW was the outlet, the penetration they had from TNT, TBS, and, of course, the fans.

Car dealerships are all bullshit and haven't changed in years

The car dealerships have never changed. They advertise what they do, but it's all bullshit... I really believe if I went into one of these dealerships, not so much that I could sell cars, but I could show them what the fuck is wrong with what you're doing.

Guy Fieri's $80 million contract extension with the Food Network is a total bargain

Guy Fieri... signed a three-year, $80 million contract extension. It's a bargain. If you're the Food Network, you've got to have your guy. You've got to have a star.

Dogecoin's value is purely driven by publicity and famous people mentioning it

With Doge, it's like that, but since it's based on a joke meme, publicity is 10 times more important than any real value. As far as I can tell, the best thing that can happen to Doge is just a famous person says the word Doge on a massive platform.

Buying an NBA franchise is a better midlife crisis move than buying a sports car

What's tired: buying a sports car for your midlife crisis. Wired: buying a fucking NBA franchise.

Every major corporation needs a consultant specifically to identify if an idea will be mocked by the internet

It made me realize that I have job security no matter what in life in that every team and corporation should have on staff a person who essentially is just there to say, 'Hey, will we get made fun of for this?'... our, 'Will the internet make fun of you for this?' is absolutely a job we could do.

The NFT bubble has not yet burst because Rob Gronkowski is entering the market

This is how you know that the bubble has not yet begun to burst. When Rob Gronkowski gets in as an early adopter, he's probably just selling his memories.

Money launderers finding NBA Top Shot is actually a good thing for the market

I actually think that the money launderers finding Top Shot is a great thing. It's perfect because now that's injecting a whole new level of cash into it.

Disc Golf is a massive growth market that we can get in on the ground floor of

There is a new sport that's blowing up. And I think we can get it on the ground floor and make a lot of money. This dude, Paul McBeth. Today, signed a 10-year, $10 million contract extension to play disc golf. His signature line sold so many. There's such a huge market there.

We are the first of the suckers on Top Shot, but we can still get rich.

I think we're the first of the suckers. So sometimes we can get in and we'll be a little bit sucker, we'll be less suckery than the majority of people, but we're still like the first sucker. I think we can still get rich off this, though, because I bought the most pristine mint condition gift of Alex Caruso blocking James Harden.

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is the correct reason to get into Bitcoin or Top Shot

If the only reason you're getting into it is a fear of missing out, that's the wrong reason? No, no, no, no. That's exactly the only reason to get in. The only reason to get into all of these things is that you don't want to someday be pumping the gas for a fucking Bitcoin billionaire's boat.

The 'Reddit millionaires' will be the funniest class of millionaires ever

I need the quote-unquote trolls of the internet... to be the power players and shift the entire dynamic... the Reddit millionaires are going to be fucking hilarious.

Bitcoin investors will die rich without ever spending their money because they're obsessed with being 'right' about the currency

The whole point of being rich is to spend money and do cool shit. Bitcoin people just... in the next 10 years it's going to be the only currency that exists... there's going to be at least a few people who die and they're like they're going to be on their deathbed and they're going to be worth 100 million dollars they didn't spend any of it but they're like but I I was right.

Hank's LR Quill sleep-aid toothpaste idea is terrible and tastes like crap

We tried both of these formulations [LR Quill/Lister Quill]... it didn't tell you to sleep on it. It tasted like crap.

Success is the only thing that separates a visionary from a fool

The difference between being a visionary and a fool is success. If it happens, you're a visionary. You're brilliant, right? Well, if it doesn't happen, you're an asshole.

HP has the worst customer service in the human race

I prepared on my Twitter account this morning thing that says about HP the worst cutting height I put him in quotations—customer service the worst in the human race. Whoa. And I could hurt so many people.

The US should implement a $1,000 stimulus check every two weeks for a couple of months

The idea of thousand dollar stimulus every two weeks... when people have money to spend we can boost up the economy... That's not a long-term solution... but if you do it every two weeks for a couple months and you also make it you have to spend it or lose it... that puts money into the economy that has a multiplier effect.