Takes

The Masters is the best 'come down' from the stress of March Madness

There's nothing better, though, than the Masters come down from the March Madness. It is really the greatest... Like set up because it's high impact, high stress sports watching for three, four weeks. And then you get the most low impact, good on your knees, napping on the couch in and out the best type of sports watching.

The media treats Jordan Spieth's return to form like a miraculous medical recovery when he was actually just playing bad for a while.

Watching somebody overcome a situation that you've put them in... They acted like he was... He battled back from having a severe back injury or he was paralyzed and now he's learned to walk again and he can win... They were acting like it was a feel-good story like that, not just a guy that was good, then he was bad, now he's good again.

The disc golf ranking system should be abolished because it is too subjective

I would say the easiest answer is to get rid of ratings... in disc golf, everyone has a handicap, essentially. And that handicap is highly the most important thing... and it's also very subjective how you get your handicap... There needs to be an actual ranking system based off of how you finish in a tournament versus what your score was.

Marijuana will likely be permitted under future professional disc golf drug testing policies

I don't think marijuana is going to be on the list as a thing. I think they're going to allow it... no one would [play] disc golf [if it wasn't].

A golfer who chokes should immediately become a sports tout on Twitter to distract fans from their failure.

Just become like the sports better guy on Twitter. Be like, 'Oh, I love the Nets plus-minus six and a half tonight. It's a lock of the century. Five-star play.' Just become a sports tout because then every bet that you miss, that's what people are talking about... Everyone forgets about the fact that you missed that putt.

PGA Tour golfers are higher-level athletes relative to their sport than any other professional athletes

I actually say a lot that I think that PGA Tour golfers are better at their sport than any other professional athlete is at their sport, if that makes any sense. If you threw me in an NBA game, I'll look like Sean Bradley. Throw me on the tour, I'll shoot 100 and quit.

Jordan Spieth is now a likable underdog because he has been so bad

Everyone likes Jordan Spieth because he's been so bad and such a head case for so long that he gets the pity... now he's an underdog despite the fact that he's won millions and millions of dollars playing golf.

The eagle on the 17th hole at the Waste Management Open was 'stupid luck'

No, that was just dumb luck that it went in. That was just real dumb luck... I'll be honest with you, it shouldn't have gone [in]. That's just stupid luck, man.

Patrick Reed is objectively good for the sport of golf because he's a villain

If you're a golf fan and you're so angry at Patrick Reed that you want him out of golf, you have to question whether you're a golf fan. Because guys who get this type of reaction on a Saturday afternoon in January on a tournament... That's good for golf.

I blame the other PGA Tour players for not physically assaulting Patrick Reed to stop him from cheating

I don't blame Patrick Reed anymore for cheating and getting away with it. I blame everybody else on the tour for not doing anything to make him stop, like physically assaulting him.

The Masters looks better in November than in April

I think that the Masters looks better in November. I think that the course—I think that it's better as a November tournament than it has ever won... it gives the pine trees more of a shine that often gets overlooked when everyone's talking about the azaleas.

A professional golfer should be allowed to blame their caddy for literally anything, including tripping on the course

I could blame [my caddy] whenever I want... if you trip walking to the Tee Box you can be like, 'What the fuck dude? Why didn't you tell me that was there yesterday?' ... you can just blame your caddy. I do feel like he wins out a lot... but we can always blame him if I always listen to him.

Finish 13th at the Masters is the worst possible outcome because you just miss out on the automatic invite back

13th place would suck here... because top 12 gets you into the next Masters. So there's another happy—I think I'd be really happy with 12th if it wasn't first.

The rivalry between Bryson DeChambeau and Brooks Koepka is great for the game of golf

For the first time in a long time, it looks like [Brooks] has an actual rival. It's good for golf. ... Having rivalry and pressure really brings all the best qualities out of Brooks that we know and love.

Golfers should have uniforms or 'shirsies' so fans can support them without having to spend 20 weeks in the gym to look like Brooks Koepka.

Why don't golfers have uniforms like a shirsy that the fans can wear? If I want to go out and support Brooks Koepka, I have to spend like 20 weeks in the gym and get swole as shit for people to know that I'm a supporter. Why don't we make uniforms or shirsies for golfers?

Bryson DeChambeau is the number one baby back bitch in sports

[Bryson DeChambeau] is now the number one triple B in the sports world... I think he's baby back bitch of the year. The fact that he now has his caddy blocking camera guys too.

Professional golf has a major branding problem if the audience prefers watching other athletes play it over the actual pros.

You have a problem with your sport when people would rather watch people from other sports playing your sport. Yeah, the best people at your sport, and it was thrilling and awesome.

Bryson DeChambeau is a 'JV Brooks Koepka'

I think he's a JV Koepka... I hate Bryson DeChambeau. I think he's a douche bag and you can quote me on that, but I'm here for the bombs.

Watching Tom Brady suck at golf during 'The Match' made him more relatable

I think it was interesting to watch superstar athletes like Tom Brady suck at something. I think a lot of people enjoyed watching Tom Brady really stink it up for the first few holes and it kind of made him a little bit more relatable.

Watching amateur golfers is better than watching professional golfers

People love amateur stuff. Whether it's pornography or it's golfers, it's almost better watching people who aren't professionals do it.

Donald Trump is a better golfer than Barack Obama

You've golfed with both Trump and Obama who's better? [Trump]. Trump's better, a little better. Yeah.

Bryson DeChambeau worries too much about angles and should just play golf

He does like the compass and the he does like all the math behind his shots. Just go out and shoot the ball, dude, maybe if you stop thinking about it, you'd be like Brooks [Koepka] and wind shit... You worry too much about angles buddy.

Golf takes too long and should be reduced to 14 or 15 holes

Nobody wants to spend five and a half hours out there... Literally, I would just make it like 15 holes, 14 holes. Because then you get to go in the 19th hole a little bit quicker.

You shouldn't be allowed to take three and a half minutes for a putt and then miss it

I'm pretty sure that you're not allowed to take three and a half minutes to line up a putt from eight feet and then miss the putt. If you make the putt, I think people overlook it. But if you miss that putt, then we're going to have an issue.

You shouldn't be allowed to dress in tribute to Payne Stewart and then play slow as fuck like Bryson DeChambeau

You can't dress in tribute to Payne Stewart and then act like this Bryson. Payne Stewart would complete a round of golf faster right now than Bryson DeChambeau.

Brooks Koepka is the greatest golfer of all time this year

[Brooks Koepka] is the greatest golfer of all time this year. So I don't understand how it works, but I just know that this one triggered all the other finishes, and now he won it all.

J.B. Holmes ruined the Open Championship with his slow play

Fuck J.B. Holmes. Fuck him. Brooks Koepka would have won. He ruined the Open Championship. Ruined it.

Brooks Koepka was screwed by the fact that the U.S. Open was moving too slow.

Brooks got screwed by the fact that everything was moving too slow. And we know Brooks doesn't like to play slow. He likes to play fast. ... He's an adrenaline guy. So the second you slow him down, it was like putting in a relief pitcher. They kind of took the rhythm out of Brooks Koepka.

Gary Woodland was a poor sport for chipping off the green at the U.S. Open.

By the way, Gary Woodland, very, very poor sport when he chipped off the green. ... Are you allowed to chip off the green as long as you don't take a divot and you apologize to the course afterwards?

Donald Trump cheats at golf by giving himself club championships he didn't win

What he does, he plays the first round at any course he opens by himself with Melania in the cart or whoever, and he calls that the club championship... And there was one he won when he was in Philly and the tournament was in Bedminster. And he called and said, well, won the club championship... make me the club champ. Just on his word.

Donald Trump would shoot an 85 if he were completely honest

[Big Cat]: What would you say Donald Trump would shoot if he was completely honest about every shot right now? [Reilly]: 85. That's still pretty good... But at Tahoe they kept track, right? And he didn't break an 80.

Tiger Woods should have turned down the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Donald Trump

And Tiger Woods represents complete opposite. The Tiger Woods Foundation bringing golf to all these people that didn't know about it. You're going to take that award... How is that an objective recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom? I mean, I get he can't turn it down. But to me, that's just star fucking of the worst kind.

We are definitely kingmakers because Brooks Koepka dominated after appearing on the show

We need to start the show with the question, are we kingmakers? I think definitely we are. Because Brooks Koepka just dominated the PGA Championship.

I have half the field beat mentally in majors because most golfers can't handle a tough course

It's easier when it's tough. You already know you got half the guys beat mentally, they can't play the course. And then the other ones just mentally can't hang. And so you only got to beat a few.

I don't watch golf when I'm away from the course

I'll be honest, I don't watch it. I don't watch it when I'm away from it... If I was going to watch anything, I'd watch Augusta and all the majors. But other than that, I'd much rather be watching basketball late night.

Golf courses should be shortened to 14 or 15 holes to be more fun

How do you speed up the game? Literally, I would just make it like 15 holes, 14 holes... Because then you get to go in the 19th hole a little bit quicker... It gets boring from like hole 5 to 12. You're just like, where am I right now?

Golfers wear metal spikes just to hear the clicking sound on concrete

I don't wear the spikes... soft spikes. [Some] guys wear the metal ones. I have no idea why. I think it's just to hear the click clack when they're walking over concrete... to make them feel like athletes.

The 2019 Masters was a bad weekend for the Augusta National course

I don't think I root for the course anymore. The course got embarrassed. This was a bad weekend for the course. Yeah, low scores.

Masters Sunday is the biggest napping day of the year

Everybody watches the Masters by themselves, maybe with their dad, maybe with a roommate or something like that, but it is the one day a year where you can take part in the biggest sporting event of that sport of the year and just sit there and chill, fall asleep, take a nap. It's the biggest Seebs Day of the year.

The Masters deserves all the hype it gets and cannot be overhyped

You can't overhype the Masters. Take your microphone off. That's a bad take. The Masters deserve all the hype.

Patrick Reed's Masters menu looks like what a 14-year-old thinks an adult dinner is.

This menu really is like what a 14 year old would think an adult's menu looks like. He basically was forced to be like well I like steak and and I don't really like anything else. I like macaroni and cheese. I'm surprised chicken fingers weren't on here.

It is great for golf that Patrick Reed is a villain everyone hates

Patrick Reed, though, he is the bad boy of golf. And I love this because this just keeps his street cred just keeps going up, up, and up. Everyone hates him. Guess what? It's fucking golf. ... It's actually great to have a bad guy in golf.

Bryson DeChambeau is an asshole for deciding to leave the flag pin in while putting

He has decided that this year he will be leaving the pin in when he putts... depending on the coefficient of the restitution of the pin. What an asshole.

France is not a golf country

Ryder Cup. What a waste of a tournament. France is not a golf country. I agree. France is not a golf country.

Tiger Woods means more to the sport of golf than any other athlete means to their specific sport

The Tiger effect is very real. I mean, we knew this was going to happen, but it just goes to show, like, I don't think there's ever been someone who's meant more to one specific sport than Tiger Woods to golf.

Brooks Koepka's lack of popularity is because his name is hard to pronounce

Because his name is hard to pronounce. People just don't say his name. That's what I'm saying. I always just avoid names I can't say. So I just don't ever say his name... It's like, bro, I don't know how to say his name. So I'm just not going to look dumb.

The Bellerive course was a sickening disgrace to the PGA Championship

Sickening showing by the course this weekend. Disgusting. Lowest, I think, score in a PGA Championship... I'm disappointed in you, St. Louis. Yet again. Lock up the course.

Grinding out a par in golf is more impressive than shooting a low score with no effort

See, Big Cat, here's where you and I kind of differ because you don't know as much about golf as I do. He [Tiger Woods] grinded this one out. ... if you grind out a bad score, it's actually better than shooting a good score with no effort. It shows more grit, more determination. It's like an ugly win. Better than a beautiful loss.

Nothing in sports compares to Tiger Woods being in contention on a major Sunday

When Tiger is involved in a major on Sunday, there's nothing like it in sports. And just to have those few moments... everyone was like, this actually could happen. Like Tiger could actually do it. He's wearing his Sunday red. Everyone was excited.

I love the USGA for making courses so hard that millionaire athletes complain

I hope they [USGA] make every single course from now until the end of time the hardest course in the world, just so we can hear millionaire athletes say, this game has gotten too hard for us.