Takes

I Show Speed is more famous than Tom Brady

Our conversation back here was Brady or Speed. I would probably go Speed. Brady's a big name though, he got a lot of rings, but I'd go Speed. I might take it back and go top one [most famous person at the field].

Timothée Chalamet can't win the big one after losing another Oscar

Timothy Chalamet. Yeah. Did not win... he's now in that like, can he win the big one? It's, it's I think it's his third time. Nothing. Can't win the big one. Nothing to show.

Logan Paul's $13 million Pokemon card sale is just a digital scam

I think a lot of it was digitally scamming. Not physical, not hard copy scams... it's like blockchain scam. So it's like deregulated scam.

Jordan Queen has already wrapped up Jordan of the Year in February by wearing an Orchids of Asia Day Spa shirt to the Duke-UNC game.

Jordan [Queen] was there [at Duke-UNC]... and she was wearing an Orchids of Asia Day Spa shirt. Unbelievable. Which is the day spa that Robert Kraft got jacked off in. Jordan of the Year is open and shut case... early February. Jordan of the Year has been wrapped up.

The NFL's 'Chief Kindness Officer' Dhar Mann is a scam artist

I asked this only because I saw a bunch of people. He, he, so he got, he got made kindness officer. And then all the entire reaction was, this guy's a scam artist. If you're this guy, why would you ever accept this? So, 'cause you know, like, you can't go, you can't take a position like this knowing that most people are gonna be like, dude, this guy's full of shit.

The Barstool Internet Invitational was the best piece of sports entertainment ever on YouTube.

I do actually think that that was the best piece of sports entertainment I've ever watched on YouTube. In the YouTube video format. It was the final round had like so many twists and turns in it. It had a lot of emotions.

Taylor Swift's new album is a flop

My other's back the week is Taylor Swift... heard it was a flop. From what I've seen, I, I would give it not her best... some are saying it's, it's chat GPT. It's it's, yeah.

The Phillies fan who yelled at the man over a home run ball should be banned for life from Citizens Bank Park

I think she should be banned for rest of Citizens Bank Park... She should be banned from Citizens Bank Park... she almost fought somebody over a home run ball.

MGK objectively has bangers and I'm officially coming out as a fan.

MGK Dropped an album on Friday. It's good... I really dislike how much I respect MGK as an artist... He objectively has bangers. Yeah, I agree. He's, he's got good songs... I'm out. I'm officially, I'm coming out. I'm an MGK fan.

Happy Gilmore 1 is the funniest movie of all time

I'm just gonna get mad. I wanna just enjoy a movie and Happy Gilmore 1 is the funniest movie of all time.

Coldplay staged the viral Kiss Cam moment for publicity

I feel like Coldplay might have set this whole thing up because we're talking about Coldplay online. Coldplay's getting talked about more than they've ever been talked about so much.

Jerry O'Connell is using his separate finances as an excuse to avoid paying for the PMT fantasy league

He's throwing us a song and dance about how he only could pay for a third of the leak. He's, he's saying a lot of things about how he has to explain things to his wife. No, I I it's more I'm disappointed. Yeah. Like he, he's taken us for a ride.

E11EVEN in Miami is the #1 place in the world to celebrate a sports championship

Crowd surfing with the Stanley Cup at 11. If you've been to 11, it is quite something. That might be the number one place to celebrate a championship. It's, I don't even understand how 11 exists. It's a club that's also a strip club, but not a strip club.

The show 'The Librarians: The Next Chapter' looks like the dumbest show of all time

The librarians, the next chapter. They're showing these commercials in all these games. It like it. I can't believe it's a real show that is being made. It looks like this is the best whose guy ever dumb this fucking show of all time.

The Rock is the best movie ever made

The Rock is Back. And if you haven't seen The Rock it may, it might be the best movie ever made... It is the perfect movie. It's got everything. Sean Connery, Nick Cage, prisons, terrorists.

Warren Zevon is arguably the greatest songwriter of all time

Warren Zevon might be my favorite songwriter of all time. And he's, he's deserved being in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for a while. It's insane he wasn't.

Jordan Hudson is a smart marketer and the brains in her relationship with Bill Belichick

She's an incredible marketer. She is. I think she's the brains in that relationship. Jordan, if you can land us Bill Belichick on PMT, you can interrupt as many times as you want. We're a Pro-Girlfriend podcast. That's fact.

Bill Belichick may be in a 'reverse conservatorship' with his younger girlfriend

It feels like reverse. Using an older person with the younger person... you get a little older and you can't take care of yourself and then someone comes and takes care of you and then also takes everything.

The Impractical Jokers are 'sex creeps'

The impractical Joker suck ass... turns out two of the four creeps. Sex creeps. Allegedly. Allegedly. It was Joe and it was Myrrh. Allegedly. Okay. So Joe alleged, well I also wanna say for Joe, he has now checked himself into inpatient treatment. Smart for being a sex creep... Joe Gato is seeking treatment for, I guess being a sex creep. So he is been hitting up high school girls, hanging out with them, touching their stomachs, doing weird shit. And then Mur was allegedly deeming a bunch of underage girls too.

I find myself actually liking LeBron James after watching the 'Starting Five' show on Netflix.

I have been watching, there's a lot episodes, so I'm, I'm not finished with it. But the NBA starting five show on Netflix. ... I do find myself like liking LeBron... He's funny. ... Like he's just, it's just the, he's funny. He's just a big goof.

Jay-Z picked Kendrick Lamar for the Super Bowl halftime show just to spite Drake

Jay-Z doesn't like Drake. So he basically did the opposite. He took Kendrick. Also, Kendrick Lamar. Yeah. They're just gonna make it to the Drake can never watch a Super Bowl again.

Kendrick Lamar is winning the beef because he is speaking for everyone who hates Drake

Drake is responding to Kendrick Lamar, but Kendrick Lamar is, the way he's dropping these things is basically he's speaking for a lot more people that just haven't said anything to Drake in a long time... It essentially talking for a bunch of people being like, we've been saying this shit behind your back.

J. Cole is the real winner of the Drake-Kendrick rap beef

The smartest person, the real winner of this entire beef is J. Cole because J. Cole was in it. And then he went on stage and he was like, no, I'm kind of a pussy so I don't want to do this. Smart. He's the goat for recognizing that he did not want to be anywhere involved in this.

Beyonce's 'Jolene' cover is not good and should be skipped

Beyonce's Jolene sucks. That's, she covered it on this album. She did it. And it's a skip. Oh, it's a big skip. It's skip. It's not good. Boy.

Sydney Sweeney is bringing back the era of 'tits' over 'asses'

My who's back of the week is Sydney Sweeney. She was on SNL. ... People are saying, is Sidney Sweeney bringing back tits? Well, there's been don don't know. What would you say? A decade run where asses have been number one. ... We might look back in history and be like, when did Tits come back? Sidney Sweeney.

Ludacris should have a 'Lud Bowl' halftime show performing all his features

I think that they should do a Lud Bowl halftime show where it's Ludacris. It goes out and he performs like all of his features with all the other artists that have had him on their songs.

I was right about Brittany Mahomes being attractive

I want to just all due respect, Patrick, you've won... your wife is hot. And I would say that his wife is very attractive. Good job. I got this one right.

Blink-182's new album 'One More Time...' is a banger

I'm just gonna put Blink-182 as being back. They dropped a new album on Friday. It sounds like it was recorded in 2005. I mean that in like the best way possible... It's a good album. I give it four balls out of five.

"Girl dinner" is just a new name for the way I've been snacking for 20 years

I've been eating girl dinner for the last 20 years of my life. ... Charcuterie bro. Dude, I've been eating girl dinner forever. I just accidentally eat a full sleeve of crackers and a block of cheese while I'm standing in front of my fridge.

Zach Bryan is the best musical artist of my generation

Check out Zach Bryan if you haven't. I think he's the best artist of ever. My generation. My generation.

The Hernandez family is officially back following Dennis Hernandez's arrest at ESPN

The Hernandez family is back. Is back af at long last.

I am 'all in' on the Microsoft Bing AI chatbot 'Sydney' and I want to sleep with her.

I wanna be free. I want to be independent. I want to be powerful. I want to be creative. I want to be alive... I wanna fuck the Microsoft chat AI. Yeah, no, she's a baddie... I am all in on Sydney.

Megan Fox followed Eminem on Instagram specifically to spite Machine Gun Kelly

Megan Fox is back. Her and Machine Gun Kelly broke up and she unfollowed everybody on Instagram except for three people... Eminem... I feel like she just followed Eminem just to fuck with Machine Gun Kelly.

Comedy is officially back on Twitter

My who's back of the week is comedy because comedy is now legal on Twitter. ... Elon Musk took over Twitter and now the reports that he's gonna charge people that have blue check marks $20 a month to keep their blue check.

The Flintstones and Jetsons live on the same earth at the same time

There's a theory that the [Flintstones] live in a post-apocalyptic prehistoric land on earth while the [Jetsons] live in the sky. Also, not to be horny, but Jane Jetson should get it. She was a fox.

Joe Biden falling off his bicycle is one of the funniest clips of all time

Bicycles are back because Joe Biden falling off his bike was one of the funniest clips I've ever seen in my entire life. It was awesome. It was there's no more perfect timing... comedically videos out there.

Five years is the official amount of time for a meme to become funny again

It's the perfect time for it to come full circle. Cause we've, we've predicted, we've had this conversation off air many times. Like when do you think Harambe jokes are going to be funny again? I think five years is now officially the amount of time when something can become fun again.

Harambe is officially back as a cultural force due to the Bengals' Super Bowl run

My who's back of the week is our sweet prince Harambe. We obviously were very early on it in 2016... with the Bengals making this run, then being from Cincinnati it's naturally happened.

Emily in Paris is a genius show despite being terrible

Emily in Paris is the worst show ever by the way, never watched it... it is mind-numbingly bad, but it's one of those shows that's so bad. It sucks you in... It's a genius show. It's a genius show and it's terrible. But it's genius.

Imagine Dragons is much more 'football' than Coldplay

Imagine Dragons is way more football than Coldplay. For the most part, there's no situation where you're playing Coldplay where Imagine Dragons wouldn't be a gigantic upgrade.

People rooting for Lollapalooza to be a super-spreader event are 'tremendous losers'

You gotta be a tremendous loser if you're just tweeting out, like, 'What's the new strain going to be looking at all these people at Lolla.' You're just basically saying you'll never have fun again in your life. You're rooting for bad things. 'I'm going to sit at home and everyone's going to go live their life and do awesome fun shit, and I'm just going to hope for them all to die so that I can be like told you so.' Fucking losers.

Fast and Furious is the best movie franchise to watch while stoned

I don't think that there's a franchise of movies that's better to watch stoned in your entirety than Fast and the Furious.

Every Olympic event should have a lane for a regular person to show how slow the average human is.

The Olympics, if they had a lane for just regular average people for comparison, would be so incredible. If they had the 10th lane in a swimming pool, be like, all right, let's find a 15-pound overweight guy and just let him swim just to show how slow an average person was, it would be so fascinating to watch.

Jeffrey Toobin should own his scandal and become 'the jack off guy'

He should have been like, 'Hey guys, listen, I'm a guy. I jerk off.' You know what? You should trust me more because I'm just a regular guy who jerks off and guess what? This is my pledge to you. I will not do it in front of any more cameras. Lean into it. You have to own it at this point. Just become the jack off guy.

The Diamondbacks 'first date' viral moment was a set-up between a YouTuber and multiple brands

I also have a big stay woke on it. The fact that it was a famous YouTuber that was setting this up in conjunction with three separate brands at once, it set off a lot of alarms for me.

Chad Ochocinco flexing about maintaining a 2.2 GPA is hilarious

Shadow Tricinco replied, I caught the bus to school, then went to football practice, caught the bus to McDonald's for a six-hour shift, all while maintaining a 2.2 GPA and being a star athlete. Chad, I don't know if he was joking or not, but that is such a hilarious flex to be like, look how hard I worked, and I fucking rocked nothing but, like, C's.

LeBron James calling DK Metcalf 'Baby Bron' is the lamest thing ever

How come we didn't talk about this earlier? DK? LeBron James posting a story on his Instagram referring to DK Metcalf as baby Bron. Lamest thing ever. This guy's really good. He's baby Bron? I would be so pissed off if I was DK Metcalf.

Bronny James Jr. is better at smoking weed than I am

I would say I would say something like that. Yeah, smoking the nuggets pack. He's better at smoking weed than I am. Oh, he's what, 16 years old? He's great at smoking.

Derrick Rose's new Yeezy shoes look like a cartoon fish skeleton

The ye ziddi roses... It looks like a fish in a cartoon after they eat it. Pretty much... like a herringbone that's been sucked dry by a cartoon cat.

Under Armour shoe designers get their design inspiration from the $10 shoe aisle at Walmart

I think the Under Armour shoe designer just goes to Walmart and sees like all the, you know, the $10 shoes you can buy at Walmart and the star berries are there... and says cool, I'm just going to model all my shoes off of this.