Takes

Eating a steak is effectively eating solar power

Essentially all energy that drives life on Earth's surface comes from the Sun. So if you are a meat eater and you have a steak, the steak came from a cow. Cows are vegetarian; they eat leaves and grains that got their energy from sunlight. So when you're eating a steak, you're actually eating solar power.

Crushing oyster shells and putting them in a chicken coop is good for their eggshells.

If you crush up oyster shells and put them in your chicken coop, it's actually really good for the eggshells.

I won't dye my hair anymore even though I'm going gray

I'm rolling with dying my hair and I tell people like I let everyone know... I get it just like right my temples. Yeah, so I get it kind of across the way... I'm just going to roll with it. I'm rolling with it.

90% of all koalas have chlamydia

Billy's fun facts: 90% of koalas have chlamydia. Anyway, like people who handle koalas at zoos sometimes catch chlamydia.

I started an OnlyFans for my feet called Billy Feetball

I actually have a confession to make. I have an OnlyFans. Ever since I wore my toe shoes, people actually started DMing me asking me for feet pics. They were offering money and I actually set one up. It's Billy Feetball. I've been making... around under $1000 but over... I've made $800 around there.

John Cena, The Undertaker, and Kane are the three toughest wrestlers I've ever seen

There's three guys that come to mind. One is Undertaker, two is Kane, and the other one is John Cena. I've seen John Cena wrestle with a torn cornea. I've seen him he had neck surgery in Pittsburgh at 11 a.m. At 5 p.m. He came by the arena to say Hi to everyone... it's another level that guys like that set the bar to.

I will eat one hot dog every hour for 24 hours during the grit stream

Big Cat's going to be eating a hot dog one hot dog every single hour. I will go back and forth between buns. I will probably more buns and last but there will definitely be some hours that I Rod... I want to eat 24 hot dogs.

I will drink one beer every hour for 24 hours during the grit stream

I have to drink a beer at the top of every hour one deer per hour. I'm still a little bit nervous about that. I don't think I've ever drank 24 beers over that long of a period of time before.

Viagra is an effective pre-workout supplement for getting a pump

And sildenafil is for a pump. It just gets your veins... sildenafil is the active ingredient Viagra, but it's sick for pump.

I have never tasted alcohol in my entire life

I've never tasted alcohol in my life. I wouldn't do that. Second about those [49ers] guys is they were very straight-laced... so when I came I had to open that thing up and let them have fun.

The more trash bags you use, the better it is for the sanitation worker

I stay the light of the biggest the better it had to go through for bag instead of two or three. I don't mind carrying. There's two bigs was carrying an extra 20 pounds in the bag. It might rip in the street. I got to clean it up.

Zoom happy hours suck and the novelty wore off in two weeks

Zoom happy hours. Remember when people tried to make that a thing? Everyone acted like, oh, we don't see our friends, so let's do a happy hour on Zoom. And then I think people did it for like a week or two... Everyone realized it sucked.

The next two weeks are make-or-break for the return of sports

I feel like this next week and a half, two weeks, is going to be make or break for the next six months to a year. We have baseball hopefully starting next Thursday, basketball bubbles going, scrimmages about to start, hockey, and then training camp. If these can go off without a hitch, I think we're back.

I need to catch a bat to test it for rabies so I don't have to get shots in my stomach

If I catch the bat then I can test the bat for rabies. So I don't have to get a bunch of shots in my stomach... I'm going to stay up all night to find this bat.

A man's singing voice reaches full maturity at age 38

I know that the male voice reaches full maturity. They say it 38 years old.

In the Highland Games, success is purely about size and strength rather than 'heart' or 'Rudy' storylines

The bigger you are the better you are. Yeah that about it. Yeah the log toss. [The 'Rudy' little guy] was dq'd after like four events as million percent of sports. Jock the bigger you are the better you are.

Wearing a mask doesn't count if you don't cover your nose

If you're gonna say that everyone should wear masks, you really got to get it over the nose. Yeah. You got to be a [P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-er]. You gotta do it. You gotta show up. You gotta be a diaper Dandy really swaddle your face in that thing.

An owl or a raccoon is the likely culprit in the chicken massacre

I'm saying Al [Owl] or raccoon... trash pandas raccoons rip the heads off.

My nickname 'Matty Ice' is definitively from drinking Natty Ice, not from playing high school baseball.

It's definitely from Natty Ice. It had nothing to do with like playing one good baseball game or anything like that. It really started from in high school, just a bunch of idiots being like you got a bunch of Natty Ice beers and being like 'Matty Ice' sounds like 'Natty Ice' and let's go with that.

I survived COVID-19 because my immune system is strong

My immune system's pretty strong, not to brag. I body diseases pretty easily. You did survive Coronavirus. I did. Yeah.

African bullfrogs are the only frogs with teeth

African bullfrogs, too, called pixie frogs on the market... Can we let it loose in here? They're the only frog with teeth. They have teeth, yeah. It's awesome.

We have officially become the 'dads' of the podcast

I think what's happened here, you know when whenever you have a family right and there's that point in time when the 10-12 year old kids turn into teenagers and the dads start becoming the butt of every single joke... We are the dads now. We have become the dads. I'm getting roasted on Twitch. You're getting roasted by Hank and ping pong. Billy is just roasting me. Just mentally we are the dads.

You get drunker drinking at home than you do at a bar with the same amount of drinks

I think you get drunker in your living room drinking alone or with friends than you do in a bar with the same amount of drinks. Like, I can have six beers in my living room, and I'll puke on myself, pee myself, and go to sleep. If I have six beers in a bar, it's like, okay, my night is one-tenth of the way done.

We will likely have a COVID-19 vaccine available by January 2021

If in a very, very perfect world we could have something by January to actually take that we could get. But now that there are so many billions and billions of dollars and every single lab on the planet is trying to do something, this is when the human race does things extraordinary.

Almost any outdoor sport will return to play by September 2020

I pretty guarantee almost any outdoor sport is probably going to be able to be played, I bet. Yes. And by September, if there should be more uniform and easier ways to test quickly should be.

I guarantee sports will be back in July

Sports are coming back in July. I guarantee it. ... Clip that. No, they are coming back. At some point in July.

Murder Hornets are not a threat to humans and people should be more worried about Africanized Bees

Murder Hornets are not a problem. The Africanized bees, on the other hand, have been killing more people per capita in the U.S. already... selfies are more dangerous than the murder hornets to the Chinese.

The 'Free Fire' play is the secret to a dominant defense in NCAA Football 14

Free fire, the one with the Mike and Will blitzing every single time. The Will comes free in the big gap every single time, and you just play man-to-man... The linebacker on the right side in the B gap comes through every time. I'm telling you. That was my secret.

The best offensive strategy in NCAA Football 14 is running Four Verticals and audibling to stops if the corners play off

Call four verticals every single play, and if the corners are playing off, just change it audible to a stop, and you get completion every single time.

Murder Hornets are not a real threat because anything you can kill with a newspaper is not a problem

I'm officially done with being swayed by the Murder Hornet... fuck the Murder Hornet. If I can kill something with a newspaper, it's not a problem. It's not a problem. I'd rather be Mike Tyson's trainer or stuck in a room with one single Murder Hornet, I'd drive the Murder Hornet, I'd fuck the Murder Hornet up.

Oklahoma is the JV version of Texas and robbed the world of the SuperSonics

Oklahoma... I don't really like the JV Texas. It's JV Texas tornadoes really suck. And also I'll be honest... I still feel like the The Thunder have blood on their hands for robbing the world of the SuperSonics.

Tigers and other big cats are capable of catching the coronavirus

Tigers because... cats in general... big cats are now capable of catching the virus. The one at the Bronx Zoo is sick.

I will bike around the perimeter of Manhattan in under 3 hours and 15 minutes

The perimeter of Manhattan, it's a about a three-hour bike ride. Okay. Now there are some places. I don't know which streets to take exactly. So I'm going to I'm going to give myself three hours 15 minutes. Okay to get around the island of Manhattan.

Returning to normalcy after the pandemic will be a gradual process, not a sudden switch

We're also not going back to normal like a light switch. We're not gonna be like, 'Hey, there we go. Now everyone just go party and we're cool.' It's going to be such a weird gradual thing where everyone is scared of each other because of germs.

The quarantine will result in a generation of "Corona Livers" due to the massive spike in alcohol consumption.

Alcohol consumption is going way off in America. People are talking about having Corona babies. They're going to be Corona livers in about three or four months.

Bears in zoos do not hibernate because they have constant access to food and warmth

Animals in zoos do not hibernate. Bears in zoos don't hibernate if they have plenty of food and water and warmth. They don't hibernate. Hibernation is only in a state of cold.

Grizzly bears are as fast as racehorses in short sprints

Grizzly bears are as fast as a racehorse... they can reach speeds up to 42 miles per hour in a Sprint.

Polar bears and penguins have never met in the wild because they live at opposite poles

Another fun fact polar bears have never met a penguin in the wild... Penguins are in the South correct? Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, they love the Sun.

Young people are not invulnerable to COVID-19 and must help protect the elderly

No one's invulnerable. But even if you are doing very well, you have to be a very important part of our national effort to contain the outbreak but importantly to protect the young individuals. . . This isn't something that can be successful without you.

Recovering from the virus likely provides immunity for a prolonged period

For the most part once you're infected with a particular virus the next time you get exposed if you've recovered from that virus you're protected. . . You can have herd immunity, which means the virus doesn't have a lot of places to go because most of the people in the population are protected.

Tylenol is the safest medication to take for reducing a fever caused by the virus

The safest thing to get your fever down is Tylenol. . . if you want to take Tylenol you really want to take it no more than every six hours.

Gatherings should be limited to 10 or fewer people to stay safe during the pandemic

10 is the safer number. I would go with 10. . . don't deliberately go to a place with more than 10 people.

My recent gambling hot streak was the best of my life

I have never been hotter as a gambler in my entire life, 20 years of gambling, than I have been in the last three weeks and Coronavirus stopped it all. I honestly have two losing days in the last 21 days.

I am officially done disrespecting the Coronavirus and now respect it

I actually I am standing up right now and saying I respect coronavirus. I'm done disrespecting. I'm not I'm putting a respectful thing to her fraud... I am respecting coronavirus.

Testicles shrivel in the cold specifically to regulate sperm production temperature

When your balls shrivel up when it's cold is because they are seeking warmth because your sperm factory, in your nut sack, has to stay closer to your body to be the right temperature... because the optimal sperm producing temperature is a little bit chillier than the rest of your body.

The Tokyo Olympics will likely be cancelled if the coronavirus isn't under control by late May.

Ioc member Dick Pound says Tokyo Olympic organizers have until late May to see if the [coronavirus] is under control. If not, you're probably looking at a cancellation. You can't cancel the Olympics... I think Dick Pound is someone, he Dick Pound is obviously now trending, so it's fun that you know when we can talk about a deadly disease that no one can get control of at least we can get the right thing trending here with Dick Pound.

I would like to make a motion for the show to come out firmly against the coronavirus

I would like for us motion to come out firmly against the coronavirus. Anti-coronavirus. Someone asked for my comment on coronavirus today. I said, not good.

Lanyards are the key to getting into any event

When you have a lanyard, people think you mean something. Like that was really the big key because I flashed it. When you flash a lanyard, people are like, well, that guy knows what he's doing.

Eli Manning will be the world's greatest suburban stay-at-home dad

Eli's going to be the world's greatest suburban dad. Can't you see it? Can't you see him being a great assistant coach for his kid's soccer team? He's going to chaperone a lot of field trips... I feel like Eli is going to be a great stay-at-home dad and every day all the kids come over and he spends the entire afternoon throwing them in the pool.

We are 'all fucked' because of the coronavirus

The coronavirus is active. It is live. It's over in China right now. They've shut down cities. They've quarantined entire cities... And I've seen the movie Outbreak recently. So I just think we're all fucked.