Takes

Stealing the ball in basketball is unethical and against the gentleman's code

I actually, I don't know if you know this, but I called you before the tournament the most ethical hoops team in the entire tournament because you guys don't steal the ball a ton and you also don't foul a ton, so you just play straight up. That's ethical. A lot of teams are trying to steal — stealing the ball is actually against the gentleman's code of the game of basketball. Dr. James Naismith would not appreciate that. You guys do it in an ethical way. You just play good hoops.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

I Show Speed is more famous than Tom Brady

Our conversation back here was Brady or Speed. I would probably go Speed. Brady's a big name though, he got a lot of rings, but I'd go Speed. I might take it back and go top one [most famous person at the field].

Darius Acuff is my favorite player in the tournament and I'd take him #1 overall in the NBA Draft

My favorite player in the entire tournament is Darius Acuff and the Arkansas and the way he plays. I would be a bad NBA GM if they let me be an NBA GM. Take him one-one because I fucking love him. He is a fucking killer.

Malik Willis is the #1 free agent backup quarterback

Top quarterback free agents... Is it also Malik Willis? Malik Willis is, yes. So he's number one. Malik Willis one.

Pardon My Take has likely had a negative sociological effect on the intelligence of sports fans over the last 10 years

Our final boss should be some detailed researched article that is like the effective, Pardon My Take on sports fans. Like a negative thing. ... they can trace it back to all these kids that were listening when they were 12 and now they're fucking idiots as grown adults and they're going to games.

The US should lobby to cancel Olympic hockey so we can remain the permanent gold medalists

Let's try to, if we win again, let's just try to get hockey canceled in the Olympics. So it just stays ours from now on. Like honestly, it's not good for the health and safety of the NHL players. It should go back to just being amateurs.

Liking chick flicks from the 2000s is inherently wrong for men

Liking chick flicks is wrong. They're gay. Yeah.

Ski Mountaineering should be a 'death sport' where the last person moving wins

My idea to actually make this a better sport, just like last person going... there's no finish line, there's no time. It's just the last person who's still moving. It's like a death sport. ... It's just like the epitome of endurance. Just have the last person moving wins the gold medal.

Society was better when people who performed mentalist tricks were treated like witches

We used to be a proper society. We used to drown those people, like witches burn them. Yeah. Like it's getting a little to the point where it's like, should we throw, should we throw some rocks at him at the town square?

Mark Davis would 100% hire Chris Angel as head coach if the NFL implemented a 'Loony Rule' for interviews

Chris Angel... for the Raiders head coaching job. [A] Loony rule. Chris Angel doing mind freak shit in front of Mark Davis. He, Mark Davis would hire him. He'd hire him. He would a hundred percent hire him.

Nick Saban intentionally held back Curt Cignetti to protect his own coaching legacy

Did Nick Saban specifically not promote Curt Cignetti? Because he is like, 'Hey, if this guy gets a head coaching job, he's going to be known as the greatest head coach of all time. Not me.'... Nick Saban's been trying to keep the world from [Cignetti] for all these years.

Caleb Williams is significantly better than CJ Stroud

I don't think there's even, I don't think there's a debate who you'd take Caleb or CJ Stroud. It's not even close to a debate. No. And that's, Caleb wouldn't, it's crazy to be in this spot... CJ Stroud after his first year, he's completely regressed.

If someone spits in your face, it should be legal to hit them with your car

I'll just say this, if someone spits in your face like that, you should be able to hit him with your car. I think. There's no overreaction to being spit on. [Spitting is] massive.

Curt Cignetti is one of the best hires in the history of any job ever

I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore of just best hires for any job ever. Is he the best hire ever? Yeah. For any job ever done. I would say Michelangelo, when he painted the Sistine Chapel, I think they nailed that one. Oppenheimer to build the atomic bomb. Okay. Mission accomplished... but outside of that, yeah. I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore.

Tyler Shough would have been the first overall pick in the NFL Draft if people were able to pronounce his name correctly

I have maintained this. I've said this before on this show. If Tyler Shough had a name that everyone knew how to pronounce, he would've been one one. There will be documentaries on how did we miss this guy in the draft? And they'll be like, well, his name is kind of spelled weird.

Caleb Williams' throw to DJ Moore was better than 'The Catch'

Caleb's Throw was better than Joe Montana's. He threw it from the 30. Joe Montana threw it from the 18. ... I liked it so much. I thought it was the catch. I sent it to Chris Berman. ... maybe a better throw and maybe a better catch.

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

Ben Johnson is the true alpha in Detroit who built the culture of aggression, not Dan Campbell

Who is the alpha in Detroit? Was Ben Johnson or Dan Campbell? Ben Johnson can fucking run the football. Ben Johnson is jacked. Ben Johnson is a culture builder... the violence, the aggression, the way they, the offensive, like of violence that he, it imposes on other teams.

The Vikings should cut and immediately re-sign J.J. McCarthy so he can be a reclamation project

What the Vikings really should do is cut JJ McCarthy. Yep. So he's a bust and then sign him back. So he is a reclamation project. Then it'll be good. Cut JJ McCarthy, officially declaring a bust, sign McCarthy former draft bust and have KOC fix him. Smart.

The Kelly Green jerseys will fix the Eagles' struggling offense

The Kelly Greens could fix the offense. There's no reason to think that it won't... Always a good idea. Kelly Greens fix the offense. Wow, great idea.

The Italian race is essentially finished because they are too attracted to Latinas

He [Jersey Jerry] told me today that Italians were done in this country... because a lot of them are attracted to Latinas. And so then they have kids with Latinas and then there's no more Italians.

I fully condone and respect the thieves who successfully pulled off a heist at the Louvre.

I condone robbing the Louvre. That's, that's, I got nothing but respect. ... It's good to know that like there's still thieves that are planning heists, especially at the Louvre and like making it happen.

Justin Fields is a loser

Justin Fields is perfect for this team... he's a perfect quarterback to lose games and that's it. That's all he is. He is a loser.

The 2024 Eagles are the worst 20-1 team in NFL history

Is this Eagle's team the worst 20 and one team in their last 21 games of all time... every, literally every negative thing that I've said about the Eagles this year has come from a place of extreme jealousy and also trying to stir Max up... I think the Eagles, yeah, they're the worst.

Joe Burrow might be the best athlete to ever play sports

Joe Burrow might be the best athlete to ever play sports. I was gonna say Joe Burrow for MVP... I think it goes past that.

Pumpkins are useless food that only hippos and squirrels actually enjoy

I got a vendetta against everything pumpkin... nobody likes pumpkins, we're just forced to do a lot of stuff that we just forced to do as human beings... The only animal [that eats it] is the hippopotamus and squirrels.

A Taylor Swift divorce album would result in incredible music

I want them to be happily married forever. A divorce album would rock... I'm saying if it happened, there would be incredible music. Right. Don't want it happen.

Titty fucking is 'very good' but not 'Hall of Fame' level

We want to take titty fucking. Yeah. It's very good. ... It's not Hall of fame. Hall of Fame is sex. ... If you're titty fucking in an above ground pool in Canada, you're having a very good time. Yeah.

The Mona Lisa is an ugly, shitty, overhyped painting

We don't understand the hype of the Mona Lisa whatsoever. It's a fucking chick. And she's ugly. I don't get it... It's a fucking painting. It's so dumb. It's so hyped... It's a shitty painting. If you put that up in my house, it'd be like, take it down. She's ugly.

It would take at least 10 world-class UFC fighters to kill one silverback gorilla

A hundred of me will kill that gorilla. But we would need at least 10 [UFC fighters]. We would need at least 10. One guy is gonna have to sacrifice it, man. Yeah. You need one guy to sacrifice maybe two then you need one to be able to grab the back. I'll just keep on choking until it dies.

I will never be a better person than I am a golfer

I definitely fall short as a person... I think that's shit. I mean, it's like... I would say I have plenty of room to improve on the person front and, and definitely plenty of room and room to improve as a golfer as well. [Big Cat: There's no way you'll ever be a better person than golfer]. Yeah, I think that's, that's a fair option.

I had no intention of hurting Ruben Tejada during the 2015 NLDS slide

There was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play... Obviously the outcome was different than other slides that I've had. I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did... I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.

UFC would be a better sport if there were more KOs and no gloves

There should be more KOs. No gloves. Too much defense. There's too much defense. I want more. They should be standing up and just throwing fist. Be a much better sport.

Every baseball game should be decided by a swing-off

I like the swing off. The end of game is great. I want everything decided by swing offs now. Regular season baseball games swing off... child custody hearings swing off.

Jesus is the chillest bro of all time because he took a three-day nap

He's just the chillest guy of all time. Turn the other cheek. Try to, you know, bring world peace to the world. Dude, bro. Took a three day nap. How chill is that?

Jaden Daniels is the fifth best quarterback in the NFL

I watched an hour of his highlights in the 4th of July... I think he's five. I think just, yeah, he's five.

Connor McDavid is the greatest hockey player of all time

I just started running around the room... running around greatest hockey player of all time. I just started tweeting that like, it's just, it's incredible to watch him.

I agree with Jay Williams that 'cancel culture' is why American players haven't won an NBA MVP recently because coaches are afraid to coach them hard.

Jay Williams... blames cancel culture for Americans not winning MVPs. Because our coaches are too afraid to coach the players hard and getting canceled. How much of this do you think is cancel culture? I hear a lot of coaches talk about they don't feel like they can coach young kids anymore because anything they say could get used against them. I think I kind of agree with Jay Williams.

The Boston Celtics are statistically a better team without Jason Tatum

the Celtics record overall is 74%, but they're 80% without Jason Tatum. That leads me to believe that just by the numbers. And we are a Numbers podcast... they are literally better this year without Jason Tatum.

Jayson Tatum is not a superstar

Jason Tatum is not a superstar... He didn't play on the Olympic team. He didn't play.

Jayson Tatum has officially replaced Joel Embiid as the worst playoff superstar in the Eastern Conference

I guess that a super embarrassing that Jason Tatum has now taken the crown of the worst playoff performer in the Eastern Conference... Joel Embiid for a long time was known as the worst Eastern Conference superstar to play in the playoffs. And Jason Tatum simply has worst playoff stats than Joel Embiid. And that's a fact.

Jayson Tatum was carried to his championship and would be a loser on any other organization

Jason Tatum would also be a loser if he wasn't playing for the Celtics... He played horribly in that championship and was carried by the rest of his team.

If Steph Curry wins FMVP with a torn hamstring, he is ahead of LeBron James

If Steph Curry wins NBA finals, MVP by the way, with a, a torn hamstring. He has a, a torn hamstring I think... You gotta put him ahead of LeBron.

100 dedicated humans could easily defeat one gorilla in a fight

I think a hundred friends could be one gorilla. Everybody just gotta be dedicated to the shit. And that sparked a debate across the internet... I am firmly of the belief that a hundred people could easily be go a fight.

Good riddance to Lee Corso

Good riddance [to Lee Corso].

Cooper Flagg does not have the clutch gene

I agree with Skip Bayless and Big Cat in that Cooper Flagg probably doesn't have the clutch gene. If I'm drafting number one in the NBA draft and I'm, I don't know, the Utah Jazz, I I would pass on 'em. Yeah, I would. And let whoever is picking after take them. Like, 'cause you're not gonna win with 'em.

Sepp Blatter's acquittal proves FIFA is not a corrupt organization

Anyone that was pointing a finger at Sepp Blatter and saying that FIFA is corrupt... Guess what? You're wrong. He's been officially cleared. FIFA. It turns out, plot twist, not corrupt. Everything's above board in FIFA.

Daniel Jones joining the Colts follows the Manning brothers' career arc and he will be QB1 by mid-September.

He's doing the, the Manning Brothers career arc is what he's gonna do. ... Daniel Jones might be QB one by by mid-September. ... also, there was an immediate Chris Berman that came to my brain when I saw this. He's just Indiana Jones.

Knowing ball is a powerful enough skill to change a nation's perception of even the world's worst people.

Timothy Chalamet's proof that you can change an entire nation's perception of you by knowing Ball. If Osama Bin Laden would've declared his love for Miami of Ohio's football program, we would've been like, you know, we can always just rebuild those towers. ... If Kim Jong-un got three picks right on college game day, I'm pretty sure we'd all just be like, that's just our culture.