Takes

The Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad it ruined my interest in international football forever.

That halftime performance was so bad. I might have changed my stance on international football forever... It was horrible. I was watching it and I was like, this is, who is this for? This is America. This is a fucking Super Bowl.

The New England Patriots are the worst-looking team to ever make the Super Bowl

Is this the worst a team has ever looked on their way to the Super Bowl? [PFT]: The question people are gonna be asking on other shows, not ours. Is this the worst thing to ever make the Super Bowl?

If Clint Kubiak is hired by the Giants, every Giant is a must-draft in fantasy

I think their head coach is gonna be Clint Kubiak. And if that's the case, every single giant becomes a must draft in next year's fantasy world. Because Bowles is not gonna be there. Right?

Mike Tomlin has to be fired by the Steelers

Regardless of what happens next week, Tomlin's gotta go. I mean, he just gotta go. It's stale. He has a losing record in the playoffs. He refuses, he changes offensive coordinators all the time. Defense coordinators, the seasons all look the same... everything is always the same because it's Mike Tomlin.

The Kansas City Chiefs should just quit for the rest of the season since they are already eliminated

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit.

Bo Nix and the Broncos are the best team in football when Nix is playing well

I think they're the best team in football with Good Bo. Yeah. With the way Bo Nicks is playing right now. ... If this Bo Nicks shows up in the playoffs, then everybody's in trouble.

The Chiefs are more 'dead' for the future than the Cowboys

I think it's the Chiefs. I think it's the Chiefs for the now and for like the immediate future... They're $32 million over the cap for next year. How do you rebuild the offensive line... The defense has fallen off the face of the earth... I just think like this is a, a little bit, I don't know if it's just a snap my fingers and all of a sudden we're back... where it's like, if you're Dallas offensive line's really good and cheap, the the receivers are ridiculous.

The Eagles season is dead

This team is dead... Nothing will save this team. The only good thing about this team is that Kevin Patullo will get fired. We'll hire a new offensive coordinator and make the Super Bowl next year. Because it's just a cycle for the Eagles right now.

Tyler Shuck is the best quarterback of the 2025 draft class

I'm an in on [Tyler] Shuck. Best quarterback of the class.

Ben Johnson was the real alpha and culture builder in Detroit, not Dan Campbell

Who is the alpha in Detroit? Was Ben Johnson or Dan Campbell? Ben Johnson can fucking run the football. Ben Johnson is jacked. Ben Johnson is a culture builder... the violence, the aggression, the way they, the offensive, like of violence that he, it imposes on other teams. Was that Dan Campbell or was that Ben Johnson?

Turkey is a 'peasant bird' and doesn't belong on the Thanksgiving table

I'm not fucking settling for peasant for the peasant bird. Thank you very much... Turkey is dog shit. You guys don't know how cook Turkey.

Jacoby Brissett is currently a better quarterback than Kyler Murray

He [Jacoby Brissett] has looked a lot better than Kyler Murray's looked this season. That's not—that's not a mistake. He's better right now.

Tucker Kraft is the best tight end in the NFL

Tucker Kraft best tight end in the NFL. I would say let's just, let's just get fucking reckless. That was yeah. Was the last thing we watched and yeah. Did he have 143 yards and two touchdowns and looked absolutely explosive and unguardable? Why not just fucking say it and then next week Sam LaPorta has a great game? No.

Tua Tagovailoa has 'low eyes' which causes him to miss linebackers

I feel like this is why in the draft you measure quarterbacks up to the eyeballs. You don't measure 'em to the top of the head. Tua's got a lot of wasted space in the forehead. Makes him a little bit taller on paper than he really is. He's got low eyes.

The Phillies' loss to the Dodgers is the worst in playoff history since Bill Buckner

It's the worst loss in playoff history since Bill Buckner. He should have gone to first. That is a play that you would be shocked to see on a little league field.

The Patriots are the best team represented on the show

Best team on this show. [Patriots]. If we win Sunday? Yeah. Eagles have a hard schedule. I ride with my guys.

The Patrick Mahomes 'conversation' will be triggered if the Chiefs lose badly to the Ravens

At what point do we have to say there's maybe Mahomes isn't what he was... This is the conversation game. If they lose and it's close, then it's not time for the conversation. Right. But we will have a definitive answer after this game. Yeah. We'll give you your answer on Sunday night.

Lane Kiffin's daughter's relationship with an LSU player is a 'coordinated attack' to get intel

He definitely knew. They've been dating for a while. He posted a picture of her... he's already talked to Weeks about what they're gonna run on defense.

Marvin Harrison Jr. currently has the yips

Marvin Harrison Jr. might suck dude... I'm not scared to say it. Apparently you are, but yeah. He has the yips. You said it earlier, can receivers... he has the yips. Both him and Brian Thomas.

If the Jets lose to the Buccaneers and their backup offensive line, defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn should be fired

I was saying if, if the, if the defense gets embarrassed by an all backup offensive line... he should probably be [fired]. Must compete. I wanna see a competitive football team.

St. Louis is a terrible city with shit sports teams and paste-like pizza

St. Louis isn't great. Sports teams shit. Pizza not good. I don't even think it's cheese. I think they use like, some sort of glue or paste. It's a whole, whole entire city of people sitting under an arch eating paste.

Brandon Aubrey could be a first or second-round draft pick if re-drafted

If he entered the NFL draft next year, if somehow he got reclassified back and he wasn't in the NFL and was eligible to be drafted, there would be a team that would take him in the second round. I'm saying he is so much better than any other kicker in the NFL.

Disney adults without kids should be sent to jail

I just think there should be two lines at Disney. One for people with kids and one for people without. And the people with kids get to go in the park and the people without get to go to jail, you have to go to jail. There should be a line right into a jail cell.

USF is currently the best team in the country

College football. USF is the best team in the country. Resume. Debate me. USF... Are they the only team that's beaten two ranked opponents? I believe so. So they beat Boise State and then they beat Florida. I think they're, I think you can make the case. They should be ranked higher. Top 10.

The Dolphins could be the worst team in the NFL this year

The Dolphins have maybe the chance of being the worst team in the NFL and they're definitely the worst vibes in the NFL because holy shit did they get absolutely smashed by the Colts.

London should host a Super Bowl and it would be a cool event for the sport

The British ambassador of the US is pushing for a Super Bowl in London. I am down for it... I just think London would be a cool city for a Super Bowl. Better than San Francisco. It'd be a cool event, fun week.

The WNBA is likely throwing dildos on their own court for ratings

I have a stay woke. I think the WNBA is throwing dildos onto their own court. Get the ratings up.

Reading is dumb

I think that this book we're dumb and books are dumb reading's. Dumb.

Texas fans and Cowboys fans are the same: delusional losers

Texas fans and Cowboys fans are very similar. Delusional. They're the same people. Bunch of losers.

It is worse for Kevin Durant's legacy if he actually wins a championship with the Rockets

I think it's worse for his legacy if he wins [with the Rockets].

Deebo Samuel is fat and slow now

I never said specifically that he was fat. I just referred to him as Fat Deebo. He's fat. He could be also everyone who's going just send screenshots of how fat I am... Fat Deebo rolls off the tongue. At least you got Fat Deebo.

The Anthony Richardson experience in Indianapolis might already be over

Anthony Richardson is hurt another shoulder injury to the quarterback... I feel like this could be Daniel Jones... I just feel like the Anthony Richardson experience might be over.

LeBron James is a scumbag for opting into a $52 million contract instead of taking a team-friendly deal

[LeBron] opted in for $52 million. He's a billionaire. He might even be a piece of shit... he does not need, he's not even good enough for 52 million a year. He could have signed for 30... they could use the 20 million to actually make their team better. But he doesn't care about that because he's a selfish piece of shit.

The Knicks have been playing better without Jalen Brunson this series

For some reason, the series, [the Knicks] are just playing better without [Jalen Brunson]. This series. They have been playing better without him when he is off the court.

Madison Square Garden is the most overrated venue in sports

The garden is the most overrated venue in sports.

Nikola Jokic is the worst three-time MVP in the last 40 years

If he wins the next one, he'll be the worst three time MVP in the last 40 years. Right. Because it was like... those five were in that timeframe as Magic, Bird, Jordan, LeBron, and Jokic at that time. He's gonna rank fifth.

Ashton Jeanty is a better pure runner than Bijan Robinson

I actually think [Ashton Jeanty] is a better pure runner in terms of contact balance churning out yards after contact than Bijan Robinson. There's been six running backs going the top 10 in the last 10 years of the draft... [Ashton Jeanty] is absolutely worth the pick.

The Rock's massive cheat meals are stolen valor

His cheat days are bullshit. Where he is like, 'Oh me, I'm the Rock, I'm eating a hundred pancakes.' Like yeah dude, eat a hundred pancakes when you're already full and fat. That's hard work. If you're in really good shape and you eat a lot of food, that's not hard. It's stolen valor. I wanna see the Rock eat a cheat meal when he's already full.

The Impractical Jokers are 'sex creeps'

The impractical Joker suck ass... turns out two of the four creeps. Sex creeps. Allegedly. Allegedly. It was Joe and it was Myrrh. Allegedly. Okay. So Joe alleged, well I also wanna say for Joe, he has now checked himself into inpatient treatment. Smart for being a sex creep... Joe Gato is seeking treatment for, I guess being a sex creep. So he is been hitting up high school girls, hanging out with them, touching their stomachs, doing weird shit. And then Mur was allegedly deeming a bunch of underage girls too.

Nice furniture does not belong outside

Nice furniture should not be outside... the maintenance is not worth the comfort. It's fucking outdoors.

Chernobyl was an inside job by Russia to discourage nuclear energy and protect their gas interests

I had one the other day that actually I completely believe that Chernobyl was on purpose. Everyone was doing nuclear power plants and Russia has a shitload of oil and gas and so they're like, Hey, let's blow up a nuclear PowerPoint plant and scare the fuck outta everyone about nuclear energy. And everyone stopped doing nuclear energy or inside job.

NC State was right to fire Kevin Keatts because his Final Four run was a fluke

I saw NC State fired their coach off of a Final Four appearance. Everyone was like, how can you do this? Maybe because it was the fluke Final four. No, I mean it was an incredible run. No, nothing to take away from NC State. But if Virginia had fouled up three in the ACC tournament, he would've been fired last year.

Travis Hunter playing both ways is more impressive than Shohei Ohtani pitching and hitting

Travis Hunter at the combine said that him playing offense defense, it's harder than Shohei playing offense defense... Being a professional cornerback and a professional wide receiver at the same time playing in the same game... I think there's a better chance of another Shohei coming around than another Travis Hunter.

The Lakers are Austin Reaves' team, not Luka's or LeBron's

I'll tell you what, I think it might be Austin Reaves team. Mm.

Sean McDermott and Joe Brady committed coaching malpractice by running the tush push repeatedly.

What was really bullshit is the fact that Sean McDermott and Joe Brady decided to keep running the same play that the Chiefs were clearly ready for all game. And that was the tush push that they didn't even do correctly. They don't even push. They just rammed Josh Allen in the line. That was coaching malpractice in my eyes.

Jaden Daniels will have an 80% completion rate against Tampa Bay

I'm gonna take Washington. I think Jaden Daniels sniffs 80% completion in that game. I just don't think Tampa Bay's defense is good enough on the perimeter. Hold up with them.

The Bears broke the Packers in their recent matchup

The other two pressure teams I had, one was the Packers. That was simply because like there's word out that maybe the bears broke the Packers... I hope that's not the case. 'cause I want to have, I, I don't want to just be one of those teams that just beats their rival all the time.

The Giants should hire Steve Sarkisian and tank for Arch Manning

So if they do fire Daboll, what about this plan? [Steve] Sark[isian] and then you just wait for Arch. You do one season of tanking... Then you tank a little bit... You tank and then Draft Arch. Because if you're a Giants fan, that that should get your blood going a little bit. Right? Yeah. Like just picturing a Manning jersey.

Kurt Cignetti is a coward for his punt against Ohio State

Kurt Cignetti biggest coward pussy of all time. You can't talk shit... and then punt down 20 points, 20 plus points on midfield. Like what a pussy.

The 49ers would be making a mistake if they let Sam Darnold leave

You gotta be outta your mind to let Sam Darnold [leave], you're 12 and two man... That guy can run, run for First Downs. He's a horse. He's young. If you let Sam Darnold out of there, you're making a real mistake.