Takes

Jared Goff's stats are better than Matthew Stafford's this year

Jared Goff has 3,984 yards, 27 touchdowns, 10 interceptions. Matthew Stafford has 3,648 yards, 23 touchdowns, nine interceptions... Jared Goff more yards, more touchdowns, and only one more interception than Matthew Stafford this year.

Shohei Ohtani to the Dodgers is not more impactful than Jackie Robinson

Ben Verlander... said that Shohei Ohtani to the Dodgers is the most important signing in Dodgers history... Jackie Robinson? ... Pretty impactful. The word impactful was really interesting to us. Most important, most impactful.

Drops are contagious among wide receivers

Are drops contagious? They are. I, I, I, I honestly think it's not just one thing that you fix it, it, it comes down to, you know, guys working together to execute a play. ... It ultimately comes down to just practice and preparation.

No long-haired quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl

No long-haired quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl. People forget that.

Birds stand facing into the wind because they like 'adversity'

Did you know that? You can tell which way the wind is blowing by how birds are standing. Birds always stand facing into the wind. Oh, they like the adversity. They don't wanna get blown away too. Because if they, if the wind kind of gusts, then they just take off and fly away.

Shohei Ohtani's contract is actually a natural progression from Aaron Judge's, valued around $460 million in real dollars

This is a 450-460 million dollar contract because of inflation and interest... If you actually think about it, this is a natural progression of contracts. Shohei Ohtani signed for 10 years, 460 million. That's a natural progression from Aaron Judge's nine for 360.

I can throw a football over 70 yards

How far can you throw a football? [Jayden Daniels:] Honestly? Probably over 70... on a good day.

The Superdome is no longer a home field advantage for the Saints

The dome is not the dome. Yeah. It's, it goes, the dome has been aging along with a lot of the roster. Right... they're 0 and 5 against the spread this year at home... five and 15 against the spread at home since 2021.

DK Metcalf is the fastest dude in the NFL

DK [Metcalf] had a hell of a game... they said that he reached a speed of like 22.2 miles per hour, which is 0.2 miles per hour faster than Tyreek Hill has been with the ball this year. And for DK to be faster than Tyreek Hill, despite the fact that he outweighs him by, what do you think? 50 pounds? Is insane. It's insane that, that's the fastest dude in the NFL.

Al Michaels hears the social media criticism and thinks it is bullshit

Al hears it. He disagrees with it... Social media is using those two examples [Jacksonville playoff game and Denver game] to just say Al Michaels hates Thursday night, Al Michaels has lost it... He hears the noise, I don't think he's like 'I'll show them'. He has more of an f-you attitude about it. He thinks it's a bunch of bullshit.

I used to make up sideline reports if a coach wouldn't give me anything at halftime

I would make up the report sometimes because A, the coach wouldn't come out at halftime or it was too late and I was like, I didn't wanna screw up the report. So I was like, I'm just gonna make this up because first of all, no coach is gonna get mad if I say, Hey we need to kill, stop hurting ourselves. We need to be better on third down.

Gary Sheffield had the most intimidating and unique sound off the bat in baseball

I coached third when Sheffield was with San Diego. This is back what, 93, 94. And oh my goodness, the sound of coming off his bat. It's just different. And you know, those guys, the elite players, you, you, you can tell when that ball's hit who, who's hitting sometimes.

The Patriots are the worst team in the AFC

Patriots are ass dude. Hey, factor fiction is the worst team in the A ffc... Statistical fact.

I did not see anything supernatural on the plane

I did not see anything. What I mean, I think y'all knew that. No I did not... I got a bit of an altercation. It spiraled outta control... It was an expression of speech. I just was in my fields needed to get off that. I was highly distressed. Not a good look.

I failed my own podcast production system by not pressing publish

I was the one who did not press the publish button... The system broke, but the, the system will not break again... My system is that I check before I do the [tweet]. I'll never tweet the tweet without seeing, seeing. It's up on, on Apple... I broke my system.

Sam Howell's historically high sack numbers are due to him not throwing the ball rather than bad offensive line play

The Washington commanders, they are top five in the NFL with time before pressure. Right. Which tells me that Sam Howell is just not fucking throwing the ball.

Tyrod Taylor is statistically better than Daniel Jones

Tyrod Taylor had 279 yards, 9.6 yards per attempt and two touchdowns. Daniel Jones in 59 starts has never in one game gone over all three of those. ... combined.

If Travis Kelce and Dr. Fauci don't accept Aaron Rodgers' debate challenge, they officially lose

Under debate laws, if Travis Kelce and Dr. Fauci do not accept the debate they have lost. That is how debates work online.

Mark Davis invented the 'muff' style hand warmer

Mark Davis invented the hand warmer. The owner of the Las Vegas Raiders. Mark Davis developed the Muff in 1986... for use by professional football teams. And that year, Davis began to market them for the fans. It's the muff style hand warmer.

The Paige Spiranac bobblehead night saved the Brewers' season

The Paige Spiranac Bobblehead completely turned around the Brewer's season... on June 16th, the Brewers hosted the Pirates... they were 34 and 34. They beat the Pirates that night... and they wound up winning the NL Central with a record of 92 and 70. And they were 58 and 36 after the Paige Spiranac Bobblehead night.

Jameis Winston is the greatest quarterback in Buccaneers history

Jameis Winston holds all the records for the Bucs. He holds the yards record, the touchdowns record, the completions record. He's the greatest quarterback in Bucs history.

The Gillette Stadium structure is the largest lighthouse in the continental U.S.

The Patriots built the largest Lighthouse in continental us. It was, you know, discussed, promoted... Let's make the biggest Lighthouse in the continental US Asterisk. No big deal.

Tyreek Hill will become a porn star after he retires from the NFL

Tyreek Hill... came out today and said that when he retires he wants to just kind of get outta the limelight and enjoys retirement in peace and also be a porn star. I would watch.

Andy Dalton is currently better than Bryce Young

Andy Dalton can still play... and I think the Panthers were live in this game and I think it was because of Andy Dalton. Like, again, I'm taking the long-term approach for Bryce Young, but Andy Dalton is better than Bryce Young right now. Like that, that's just a fact.

The Patriots' lighthouse is not a 'real' lighthouse because it's not visible from a federal body of water

It's not a lighthouse if it's not visible from a federal body of water... It's a fucked up stupid lighthouse. They call it a non-traditional lighthouse. A.k.a. not a lighthouse.

Deshaun Watson probably has a burner account on Twitter

He also might have created a burner account after the game... allegedly from Deshaun, I think it was called the Twitter account, was like Gainesville raised or something like that. All the tweets that he had were about Deshaun Watson replying to people... saying not his fault.

The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is the official tallest lighthouse in the US, not the Gillette Stadium one

Per the United States Coast Guard. The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is the official tallest lighthouse in the United States. Not your fucked up Fugazi piece of bullshit [at Gillette Stadium].

The torch on the Statue of Liberty makes it the biggest lighthouse in America

It's actually the second biggest lighthouse in America. The Statue of Liberty is the biggest lighthouse. It was used as a lighthouse. You fucking moron. It's not a lighthouse American history. It was used as a lighthouse. There's a light at the top of that thing. It's the torch. The torch. It's the most famous torch in America.

Jimmy Butler once went an entire summer without watching TV to focus on his game

Jimmy's probably the toughest competitor I've ever been around. And you know, it started right away. He worked his ass off and you know, the sacrifices that he made in the summers were just unbelievable. I mean, people don't know this, but he was going whole summers, no tv.

Donald Trump is the best golfer in the United States

Rick Re says that it wasn't actually 67. I don't be a hater, Rick. He says it was more like an 86... [Trump] is the best golfer in the United States.

Corey Davis only 'stepped away' from football because he was about to get cut

It probably means you can't fire me. I quit. Because you might not have made the roster. I feel like you don't step away if you're gonna make the roster. Right. But then the minute you see like, oh I might not, I might get cut here. Knowing that it seems like he might've been on the bubble. Even with the 10 million. It's a great move by him. Like 'I never got cut.'

Charles Haley was the final piece that shifted the NFC power from San Francisco to Dallas

That was the final missing piece to those teams. And it shifted the power in the N F C from San Francisco to Dallas for a number of years once we got Charles.

Donald Trump weighs 255 pounds

I think he's 255. Like a linebacker. He's a Hoss. He's basically Brian Cushing.

Hosting the World Cup or Olympics is a massive waste of money for a country

Hosting the World Cup or the Olympics. ... Hosting a massive world event. I think Qatar spent like $2 trillion or some bullshit hosting the World Cup. ... At the end of the day, they're gonna have stadiums all around their country that are never gonna get used again. ... Have you seen the Chinese stadiums? They're like, I think wolves live there now.

Johnny Manziel's 'rich oil family' backstory was a fake story planted to cover up his autograph money

That's a great, a great great story that they planted out... Everyone was like, how come Johnny Manziel is able to afford to do all this stuff? And they were just like, we're gonna leak to the media that his dad's rich as fuck and that he grew up with this money and then everybody was just like, 'Oh yeah, that makes sense.' No, he is making a shitload of money selling autographs.

NFL practice is actually harder without pads than it is with pads

I think practice is harder without pads than it is with pads... because it's hard to differentiate from the trenches when you're in the trenches. It's physical all of the time. It's just the standard of physical... we might as well just put the pads on.

I don't think any of the content on Pardon My Take changed while the company was owned by Penn

In terms of the content of this show, I don't think we changed anything. Did we, PFT? ... It's just been how we've talked about gambling, which I understand that was part of the, the rules And it made sense for to, to make sure that we talked about gambling the correct way under pen.

Hitting a home run foul is a sign that the batter will likely strike out later in that plate appearance

If anybody ever hits a foul homer during that bat, they're fucked the rest of that bat. ... There's three options from that point on: it's another homer, which is like a small percentage, or a punch out or a walk, and the punch out is the highest percentage there. ... You're like, 'Damn it, that was my one chance. I'm fucked.'

The Yankees treated Anthony Rizzo poorly by playing him through a concussion for two months

In the 53 games before this concussion, he had 11 home runs, was batting .304. In the 46 games since this concussion... he had one home run and was batting .172. It's just interesting the timing where it's after they're pretty much done for the season. They did my guy Rizzo wrong.

Polar bears are 'huge pussies' compared to grizzly bears

Polar bears are huge pussies. They actually, every time they meet grizzly bears in the wild, they like run away. 'cause grizzly bears are about that action. They scrap harder than polar bears. It's because their population densities are higher. So they see other grizzly bears and fight them more.

Tom Brady is physically taller than Josh Allen

Tom [Brady], he's the tallest... [Number 2] is Josh [Allen], he's second tallest.

Dirt bikes are the only effective way to escape Los Angeles when society collapses

If something goes sideways in LA and there's riots in the streets... you only have the freeways out and those can lock down quickly. So how do you get out? Well, dirt bikes. Dirt bikes is the answer.

Bill Belichick is officially on the hot seat with the New England Patriots

My Hot Seat is Bill Belichick. Literally. There's a report out... from Tom Curran... he said 'You talk about avoiding the Hot Seat Rich, he's on the Hot Seat and he's been there at different levels of warmth since 2019.'

Jordan Spieth is wearing a cheap $500 Instagram ad suit that hides 'fat and frumpy' bodies

Jordan Spieth has a lot, a lot of money. But I think I have that same suit and I understand what happened. ... I think he's wearing a $500 Instagram suit. ... It's a stretchy material that doesn't iron well. And so it's like, it's like a, it's like almost like a, it's like an Under Armour shirt in a suit form.

I felt ghosts in the pool house at George Kittle's home

It was very creepy. And I had never dealt with anything like that before. ... I like just like couldn't like, I had to like, keep focusing on this thing in the co like there was something else in the room. ... I felt that something was in the room with me. And it was the the freakiest thing.

I pee in 100% of the pools I have ever been in

I piss in every pool I've ever been in. Yep. A hundred percent. Yep. All the time. ... Every pool I've ever been in, in my entire life. Every pool I've pissed in.

Every group of fans that has played this adventure has successfully finished it.

Every one of the a w l groups who has gone through this adventure has gotten to the end and finished it. But I also told them I wasn't sure if you guys would or not.

The Jeremy Grant contract was the straw that broke the camel's back for Damian Lillard

The biggest loser in free agency is Jeremy Grant. Jeremy Grant got 150 million to return to the Trailblazers. Now on paper you're like, wow, that's a great deal. But the contract was the straw that broke the camel's back for Dame. He was like, this is, this is what we're doing in free agency. We're resigning Jeremy Grant. Yeah, fuck you guys. I'm out.

There are more trees in Canada than there are stars in the Milky Way

You know what I learned today? There's more trees in Canada than there are Stars in the Milky Way. Is that true? Damn. Yeah. I went to a museum today.

Will Compton is a next-level athlete and I couldn't make a play on him in one-on-ones

I barked up the wrong tree. I was feeling myself at Tight End University... and I challenged Will Compton to one-on-ones and I got the clamps put on me. I tried to run a couple fades on him and failed and you know, looking back, the best man won. He just plays next-level defense and I couldn't get it over... my brain's just testing my body all the time.