Takes

Lindsay Vonn crashes every single time she is hyped up to ski.

I basically, every time they say, Hey, Lindsay Vonn's about to ski... she's gonna crash. I woke up and they were like, Hey Lindsay Vonn competed this morning and she crashed.

Mike McDaniel was cursed by the football gods for not breaking the NFL scoring record against the Broncos

2023 Dolphins scored 70 points. Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that. The Broncos went 32 and 16 after that moment.

The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL

The Raiders are the worst team in the league. I agree. I know. I do not think that there's a debate for it. They're one of the worst teams like ever. It's crazy watching 'em play.

Just bet the Lions every week because they are a covering machine

I read you the stats on Friday. Just bet the Lions every week all they do is cover. It doesn't matter the spread. They are a covering machine.

Alex Ovechkin should not have been on the power play during Game 5

Ovy did not look well on the ice tonight. He looked pretty slow... I almost think that he shouldn't even be on the power play right now. Because he wasn't, he did not look like he was moving around like the Ovy that we saw in the regular season.

James Harden is the biggest choker in NBA history

Is he the biggest choker? I don't know if it's choker or just Bright lights scares him away guy of all time because at this point it is now four different teams that he's done this with. It is, he's great in the regular season. He can be great in the beginning of a series... But then when the Bright, the lights get the brightest and it's game seven, he's a complete no show. And it's, it's not even, there's not even a debate anymore. I think he is [number one all time].

The NBA should stop the Eastern Conference playoffs because the Celtics are just going to eat everyone

Can we just stop with the Eastern conference playoffs? Can we just not do 'em? Because what's happening is every team is just kind of getting fattened up to get eaten by the Celtics and a delicious snack. Like that's what's gonna happen.

Zach Hampel is the best of all time at ball-hawking and deserves respect for his greatness

Listen, I, I know Zach Hampel's a very controversial, actually, he's not controversial. Everyone just hates him. He's, he's the best to ever do it... When did we stop respecting greatness?... He's literally the best to ever do it. What he does, he is the best of all time at.

Auston Matthews has become 'too Canadian' and that is why the US lost the Four Nations tournament

My takeaway from this game is that Austin Matthews has become too Canadian. And that's why we lost the game. Because he's a Maple Leaf and Maple Leafs never win anything. And we saw that.

Sean McDermott and Joe Brady committed coaching malpractice by running the tush push repeatedly.

What was really bullshit is the fact that Sean McDermott and Joe Brady decided to keep running the same play that the Chiefs were clearly ready for all game. And that was the tush push that they didn't even do correctly. They don't even push. They just rammed Josh Allen in the line. That was coaching malpractice in my eyes.

The SEC is dead following the College Football Playoff quarterfinals

The SEC is dead. So is buys. Buys are dead. Buys are dead. Buys are dead. The rest first rust has been settled. The SEC is dead. We have three big 10 teams in a big 12 team in the semifinals.

Scott Hanson and NFL Red Zone are on the Hot Seat for airing commercials on a 'commercial-free' broadcast

My Hot Seat is Scott Hanson and NFL Red Zone... Their entire tagline for years since the beginning of Red Zone... Get ready for seven hours of commercial-free football. And on Sunday they ran commercials. They were like 30 seconds of commercial... you just completely rug pulled them.

Doug Gottlieb is doing a bad job coaching Green Bay and should spend less time on social media

Jesus, Doug, a seven game losing streak in the last place in the Horizon League. Less time on social media, more time in the gym... I think he's, has he won a game in December... He's doing things like his way... sat [his best player] for the entire game even though they can't win a game right now.

The 49ers aren't actually good; the Bears are just that bad

I don't think the 49ers are good. I just think the Bears are that bad... [Niners 38, Bears 13] That game sucked. The Bears are a joke. They're so bad... just same garbage team, same garbage start.

Travis Hunter should be a -5000 favorite to win the Heisman

I mean it should be like Travis Hunter minus like 5,000. If everything what PFT said is correct... it's something we've never seen before.

I will fight anyone who says Indiana shouldn't be in the playoff

I will fucking fight. If you find someone online who's saying Indiana should not be in the college football playoff—tag me snitch. Tag 'em. I just—I wanna fight 'em. I just love the, on the streets of the internet.

I am betting against LSU because they are using a fake Mike the Tiger on the sidelines

It appears that they are now bringing a tiger back onto their sidelines... it seems like it might be a fake mike, the tiger that they're putting on the sidelines, because people took pictures... and they compared the stripes and they think that it's a duplicate Mike. It's a fake Mike the tiger... in which case I am going to be betting against LSU.

Betting against Patrick Mahomes as an underdog is a move for morons.

I am the idiot who bet against Patrick Mahomes is an underdog now. No, actually I was gonna make an excuse for myself... but there is no excuse. I'm just a moron and I should, I should just stop gambling... If you try to outsmart Patrick Mahomes as an underdog, you're just a moron.

The Phillies are dead and they are a soft baseball team

The Phillies are dead... The Phillies are a soft baseball team. The Mets are a hard baseball team. They're a tough baseball team. They come back from things. And the Phillies just don't, they just die.

Travis Hunter is the best college football player I've ever seen

He is the best football player in the country... Travis Hunter. Travis Hunter deserves the respect. He might be the best college football player I've ever seen.

Justin Tucker is officially washed

We also had a passing of the torch in this game. We've talked about it, but Justin Tucker missing a 46 yarder and Brandon Aubrey making a 65 yarder. I think it's official washed.

Nick Sirianni should have been arrested for not kicking the field goal in the first half

The Eagles could have won if they had kicked that field goal in the first quarter. Which, and it's not, it's not hindsight to say it. I tweeted out at the time that Nick Sirianni should be arrested... I think that just the take that Nick Sirianni should be arrested is applicable to all sorts of different things that he does.

Justin Tucker is officially washed compared to his peak

Is Justin Tucker washed? Yes. He is washed compared to peak Justin Tucker. 100%. He's no longer Justin Tucker. He's no longer, 'Hey, we have a 50-yard field goal, we're gonna make it because we have Justin Tucker.'

The Giants-Commanders Week 2 loser is officially the worst team in the division

This is a true 'ass' bowl where the team who loses this game, if, especially if they lose it significantly, they're truly ass... A loss for [the Commanders], you still have Jaden Daniels... a loss for the Giants, you're like, we thought we'd be bad, but we're worse.

Deshaun Watson is a disgusting human being who also happens to stink at quarterback

Either he is the victim of the biggest, most coordinated, most ruthless smear campaign against an individual maybe in the history of sports, or he's a disgusting human being who should be in jail. Either way he stinks at quarterback.

Sam Darnold will have a 'seven-year bump' and be better than expected

I am throwing my vote behind Sam Darnold for a guy who's gonna be better than everyone expected this year. Sam Darnold is not as bad as everyone thinks. He's better. Sam Darnold might not be bad. Seven year bump.

Deshaun Watson is on par with Bryce Young and Daniel Jones and should be benched

He's not great. He's not good. He's not even average right now. I put him on par with Bryce Young or Daniel Jones. He can go stand in line with them, rip the bandaid off before it's too late. Deshaun Watson's done... folks, he can't play. I'm ticked.

Pandas are dumb as shit and terrible parents

Pandas. They're dumb as shit. They will hand you, you could google this, if you go to a panda in captivity and it has a baby... and you put out an apple, it will hand you its baby and take the apple. Swear to God, nobody talks about this. They're dumb as shit. They're mean, they're terrible parents. Bad moms.

The Miami Hurricanes are officially back

The U is back. Cam Ward is electric. He was electric last year. He he's awesome in the U. Yeah. It does feel like they're another team where a week one win on the road in the SEC, they now are in the driver's seat.

Florida State won't win another game until the fan who promised to eat dog shit actually does it

Coward, coward deleted his account. You gotta follow now that, listen, they're not gonna win any more games until this guy eats the dog shit out. That's facts. That's how it works.

No team in the Big 12 will finish with fewer than three losses

My hot take about the Big 12 is that nobody is coming outta that league with fewer than three losses. I think it's gonna be a one-bid league.

I will 'sweet talk' Leonard Floyd to avoid another injury on Monday Night Football

I'm gonna have to sweet talk him [Leonard Floyd] a little bit. Pay him off. Just let me get through play five.

Mike Florio and Colin Cowherd look like morons because Caleb Williams officially signed with the Bears

All who said that there was 0% chance that Caleb Williams was going to sign with the Bears. That he was gonna force a trade. That he was gonna demand ownership. Florio said he was gonna play another season at USC. You all look like morons. Caleb Williams is officially signed as a Bear.

Caitlin Clark is on the 'can't win the big one' list because she never won a title at Iowa

Caitlin Clark can't win the big one. She has not been able to win the big one. She lost... she literally college cannot win the big one and like, I don't know what else you could say about it.

Patrick Mahomes is not the biggest threat on the celebrity golf circuit

I don't think Patrick Mahomes is the biggest threat on the golf course. Oh, okay. On the football field obviously is the biggest, but golf course I think a little different... I know he does have like a real golf hole in his backyard... I just don't see him winning it.

Connor McDavid 'can't win the big one' until he proves otherwise

Has Conor McDavid [won a title]? I think we won. No, he has not. Okay. Alright. So there, the discussion... we have to, as our job say, he can't win the big one... He won the big one and now he's the guy that can win the big one.

Tiger Woods was better at golf when he was 'dirtier' and having more sex

Tiger was at his best when... the grip of his putter smelled like absolute shit from his hands. Perkins waitresses. The dirtier Tiger was the better golf. Yeah. When he was getting it in the hole. Now he's gonna not do, maybe he just can't have sex 'cause he like, he can't walk.

Anyone who says Zach Edey is not good at basketball is a moron.

Anyone who says Zach Edey's not good at basketball is a fucking moron. The guy's good at basketball, especially college basketball. I don't want whatever happens to the NBA happens to the NBA... Anyone who says he is not good at basketball, he is just tall, is being a hater.

The Dolphins and Cowboys are both frauds

The Cowboys are frauds. Frauds, but the Dolphins are also frauds because all they prove that they is that they can beat a fraud... we didn't learn anything from this game whatsoever.

The Broncos are lucky frauds who I will bet everything against in the playoffs

The Broncos are the real fraud. That was an ass kicking up and down... they're playing the Patriots and the Chargers at home and then at the Raiders. If the Broncos making the playoffs, I will bet everything I have against them. They're, they're not good. They're lucky.

Matt LaFleur might be a coordinator killer

Do we need to talk about LaFleur as being a, a coordinator killer. You know how when you have a, a quarterback that's a coach killer? Yeah. That get slapped to that label. LaFleur might be a coordinator killer. So he's fired three coordinators in five years.

Whoever loses the Dolphins vs. Cowboys game is officially a fraud

I still think that whoever loses Cowboys Dolphins I'm out on officially. The loser of this game. No one will take serious. Yeah.

The Philadelphia Eagles are actually frauds

Are the Eagles frauds? Are the Eagles frauds? [Max: No.] Are the Eagles frauds? [Max: Yes, like you guys like set this whole thing up.]

Zach Wilson will provide a 'spark' for the Jets upon his return

I think the Jets... Zach Wilson is a spark. I do. I think he's the spark... I keep thinking about it more and more and it's like, it's, it's, it's maybe less Zach Wilson and more just looking at the board and being like, everyone's gonna say Texans minus three and a half is the easiest bet.

The Blue Jays should be eliminated from the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes for leaking their meeting

It came out that Shhe... visiting with the Blue Jays. And I think by Sho Hays rules, the blue Jay should be eliminated. See you buddy. See you. Blue Jays. What?

The Dallas Cowboys are basically the same team they were last year

Dallas fans are so confident right now, as they should be. You're a good team, but you're basically the same team that you've been, or that you were last year at least. Yeah. Well, well, Mike McCarthy is the same guy that he was last year.

The Jaguars are officially frauds

Jaguars. Are they frauds? I think they might be... they weren't really competitive against either [the Chiefs or Niners]. So yeah, I think they might be in the fraud tier.

The Cowboys are frauds if they lose to the Eagles

I say if the Cowboys lose this game. Frauds. Yeah. We're we're, we're gonna call 'em frauds. Yep. If the Eagles lose this game and it's close, we're gonna say, should you take out the panic button?

The Dolphins are frauds until they beat a real team

I am of the firm believer. I love watching the Dolphins play football. They're very fun. They are on my fraud list until they beat a real team. ... they have played two teams that are at least playoff worthy teams in the Bills and the Eagles and got smoked.

Brock Purdy is a top five quarterback in the NFL

My overly direct take... Brock Purdy this year is a top five quarterback in the NFL. I like it. Top five. I think he's number five in the NFL right now... If he gets to a Super Bowl, I'm gonna say it. Brock Purdy might be elite.