Takes

Paul Skenes is broken after the World Baseball Classic

Paul Skenes is broken... World Baseball Classic hot seat broke him.

Mark DeRosa intentionally threw the game to Team Italy because of his Italian heritage

A lot of people were talking about, the last name [DeRosa] is Italian. Very Italian. And he seemed to throw this game to Italy. I'm just saying connect the dots. Paesan.

I Show Speed is globally more famous than Donald Trump

I do think that I Show Speed is globally more famous than Donald Trump... between the ages of five and like 37 is four makes up 48% of the globe. And I think a overwhelming majority of them definitely know who Speed is... I think Speed might [have] 4.1 [billion people] dude. I'll give 4.1 just for sake of argument.

I could medal in a women's Olympic slalom event

What sport would become the most watched if they allowed trash talk... [Hank proposed putting athletes in different sports] ... Hank couldn't medal in a single woman's event. I agree with that. [Hank]: Slalom. ... Not in men's but women's. ... women's slalom turns are not that hard.

Michael Jordan winning the Daytona 500 proves he is better than LeBron James

Michael Jordan won the Daytona 500. I don't know what you're talking about... LeBron has not done that.

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Patriots will win the Super Bowl by 50 points

Any divisional rival... Do I not want [Seattle] to win? ... Patriots by 50. That's what I've said all week.

The Super Bowl halftime show is for chicks

The Super Bowl halftime show is—is—is for chicks... I don't think the average NFL fan is like, man, I hope this Super Bowl halftime show is awesome. I don't give a fuck.

I bet $40,000 on the Patriots money line in the Super Bowl against Hank

What if I put a $40,000 bet on the Patriots money line in the Super Bowl? When it hits you get $80,000, then I keep the rest... [Hank] let's do that. Let's shake on that.

Jarrett Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

Society will collapse and we are living in a simulation if the Rams beat the Broncos 23-14 in the Super Bowl

O's the Mentalist made a prediction for the Super Bowl... the Rams to beat the Broncos 23 to 14. If that does happen, I think we can all agree that this is all a simulation and everything is fake. Society will collapse if O's the Mentalist is right about his Super Bowl pick and the score... that is proof that none of this is real. We're living in a computer.

Bo Nix's injury was a 'soft benching' by Sean Payton

Is this the most high profile soft benching of all time?... Think about it. If, if, if Sean Payton benched Bo Nix, everyone would riot. Now he's got a fractured ankle and he's going to Alabama and it's Diddy [Stidham], his guy.

The electrical substation next to the 49ers facility is causing player injuries by dehydrating their cells.

The wireless stuff, basically it dries you out on the inside. So have you ever taken a rubber band and like left it out in the sun and it goes from being nice and stretchy to being brittle and snaps? ... there's been a lot of research in the past 50 years... showing that it can cause cause harm at the cellular level by dehydrating yourselves among other things.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

Chase Brown will be the AP Offensive Player of the Year

I'm gonna say it right now. AP offensive player of the year. Chase Brown. Wow... Think about it.

Bo Nix is 'dog phobic' because he is secretly a dog himself

He is afraid of dogs because he's worried that deep down inside... he's gonna have to tell his parents 'I'm a dog.' I think he's trying to suppress his inner dog because he knows if he becomes the dog that bit him, it's watch out world. He got bit by a dog as a child and became a dog.

Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning from getting too many MRIs

Do you think Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning? Mm. From all the MRIs. Too many MRIs and all the x-rays... It might be like Chernobyl.

AJ Brown will likely be traded by the Philadelphia Eagles this offseason

I won't be surprised if AJ Brown is traded in the off season. I think we're at the point where it makes sense for both sides for him to move on. They can find another receiver, they can make their offense go without him.

Jayden Daniels is the worst quarterback from the 2024 draft class

My preemptive take of the year was right. Commanders would miss a playoffs and Jayden Daniels be the worst out of all the quarterbacks in 2024. [Big Cat: 'Michael Penix?'] He looked pretty good before the injury.

The Arizona Cardinals should fire Jonathan Gannon and hire Josh McDaniels

In the Cardinals' wildest dreams... Probably fire Gannon. Figure out a way to trade Kyler Murray. Hire Josh McDaniels. He's gonna get another shot. Owners love a guy that's failed twice. Spectacularly failed twice.

Kyle Pitts will eventually have 20 touchdowns in one season

I predicted that Kyle Pitts will have the greatest year of any tight end of ever in year 20 in the NFL. He'll have 20 touchdowns. That's a fact.

Lamar Jackson sucks and the Ravens would only get a fourth and fifth-round pick for him if they traded him right now.

Lamar [Jackson] sucks... [The Ravens would only get] like a fourth and a fifth [round pick if they traded him right now].

The 'Blob' weather pattern could mean the end of the world

B-Big Cat, We are Earth could be finished. We could be done... There's a world, the blob never goes away... I do wanna say you're right. I was being dramatic there. Blob will go away, but it's sinking its toes right now.

The Kansas City Chiefs are officially eliminated from playoff contention

The Kansas City Chiefs have been eliminated from playoff contention... I just don't think that they can run the table because that's gonna be it. It's hard. These aren't the same chiefs.

The New York Jets will acquire Lamar Jackson from the Ravens next season

I do go to bed and I just thinking who's the next quarterback will be next season. And right now we're on Lamar Jackson... Ravens don't make the playoffs. Raven's good organization. They've moved on from quarterbacks in the past... we got like three years of Lamar.

The Broncos, Patriots, and Colts are more complete teams and better Super Bowl contenders than the Bills, Ravens, or Chiefs

I'm picking on the side of the Broncos, the Patriots, and the Colts. ... we are creatures that we love nostalgia. ... Old habits die really, really hard. And I think we think about the Ravens, the Chiefs, and the Bills. Yes, the best teams? No, they're not. The Ravens' defense is flawed. The Chiefs are 5-5. ... I think the teams like the Broncos and the Colts are more complete teams.

I think I could give Victor Wembanyama problems just by bodying him and getting physical.

I think I could probably give him a problem just bodying him a little bit. A little bit more weight than him. Back him down... If I just threw a couple bows on him, he probably wouldn't wanna come in the paint.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

The Jets will not lose another game for the rest of the season

Honestly. Yeah. I don't think they should lose another game for the rest of the [season].

Wisconsin Football is currently the worst program in Power Four football

Wisconsin football just because they're the worst team in college football, Power Four college football. It's an absolute joke what's happened to the program. They haven't scored a touchdown in two games. The culture's broken, the program's broken.

Baker Mayfield's poor performance was due to helium-filled footballs

The rational side of the internet and sports fans understand that this is an inflategate situation. Those balls were getting thrown high for a reason, and I think it might be helium based... I think a back room equipment room job might have went down.

Every Philadelphia sports team should be blown up and started from ground zero

Done. Everything's done. Blow it up. Blow up. Start every single team from ground zero. No, I, every single one of 'em, I'm done with the union.

Jalen Hurts looks like the worst quarterback in the NFL

Jalen Hurts looks like the worst fucking quarterback in the NFL. He's a bad quarterback right now.

Saquon Barkley has been horrible all season for the Eagles

Saquon also all of a sudden sucks. Now that no one's talking about that. He's horrible. He's been horrible all year. The whole team sucks. Everyone sucks.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed after being under .500 for two days

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

The Patrick Mahomes 'conversation' will be triggered if the Chiefs lose badly to the Ravens

At what point do we have to say there's maybe Mahomes isn't what he was... This is the conversation game. If they lose and it's close, then it's not the time for the conversation. Right. But we will have a definitive answer after this game.

Marcus Mariota might be the best quarterback on the Washington Commanders roster

I just said, I was just like, what if Marcus Mariota is the best quarterback on the Washington Commanders roster.

Arch Manning stinks right now and is a fundamentally different quarterback than we expected

I don't know what the hell this is. It looks like he's throwing from a different arm slot... I thought maybe he could be average at worst. I don't know what the hell this is... it does feel like it's mental. It feels like the yips almost.

The Green Bay Packers are a generational, once-in-a-lifetime team

The Green Bay Packers are a problem. Generational team. We said if they don't win the Super Bowl, it would be the greatest upset in the history of sports. And they are so good. They're guaranteed to win this Super Bowl and probably next year's Super Bowl.

The Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl

Bills have the easiest schedule now. Undefeated. Would it, wouldn't it be funny if the bills went undefeated? It's week one. I'm not gonna overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are gonna go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.

If the Commanders beat the Packers, I am expecting a Super Bowl

If we beat the Packers, anything less than a Super Bowl championship this year will be a, a massive crushing disappointment to me. If we win against the Packers, I'm thinking soupy, soupy.

The Packers are the best team in the NFL by far and will win the Super Bowl

I'm gonna take the Packers in this game. The Packers are the best team in the NFL. I don't even think it's close. Not close. They're gonna win the Super Bowl.

Nico Iamaleava should transition to being a wide receiver

Nico, I'm a receiver. Yeah, that's, that's what I'm calling him... I think he's very fast. I think he's got great change of direction. I think he has no idea how to throw like an intermediate pass whatsoever.

The Packers getting Micah Parsons for only two first-round picks is an absolute fleece by Green Bay

Packers fleeced... yes this is a cope and then I'm gonna mute the whole thing. This is crazy... will there be a player in the next two drafts in the, let's call it 15 to 25 range, where the packers will most likely be picking that will be better than Micah Parsons? The answer is no.

Jayden Daniels will break every single NFL quarterback record this season

I really believe Jayden Daniels is going to break all QB records this season... I think he's going to have 5,000 passing yards... I think he's going to have 1,600 rushing yards.

There is a non-zero chance that Matthew Stafford died and has been replaced by a clone

A hashtag started Matthew Stafford died, or Stafford died weeks ago. And people are running with the theory that he's dead. And this is a clone because he finally was at practice on Monday. I'm not saying I don't believe it. There's a 1% chance I believe it.

The Super Bowl should be played in London to make it a bigger global event

It's a football field. It's the same dimensions, it's the same place. Hey, people are, have it so twisted where it's like, if we want this to be the biggest event in the world, we should have it in [London]... It's better for the sport. It's better for the show. It's better for us. It's better for everyone.

Europeans don't even have colleges

No, they don't have colleges in [Europe]. They don't have NFL teams there. But they have NFL games there. They don't play college games. Okay, actually they're universities.

Caleb Williams missing throws in training camp is actually AI-generated

I did see another one [video] that got like no retweets of him actually nailing the drills. ... I sent [Ryan Whitney] the clip and he said, sick. He looks awesome, being obviously facetious. And I said, that's AI dude. ... But I got you to believe that for a second.