Takes

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Patriots will win the Super Bowl by 50 points

Any divisional rival... Do I not want [Seattle] to win? ... Patriots by 50. That's what I've said all week.

The Super Bowl halftime show is for chicks

The Super Bowl halftime show is—is—is for chicks... I don't think the average NFL fan is like, man, I hope this Super Bowl halftime show is awesome. I don't give a fuck.

Jared Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

The NFL magnetized the goalposts to increase the number of 'doinks'

The goalposts are magnetized since the NFL put chips in the ball. Doinks are way up. I have zero data, but the timing is suspicious and the sound is too perfect.

Bo Nix's injury was a 'soft benching' by Sean Payton

Is this the most high profile soft benching of all time?... Think about it. If, if, if Sean Payton benched Bo Nix, everyone would riot. Now he's got a fractured ankle and he's going to Alabama and it's Diddy [Stidham], his guy.

The electrical substation next to the 49ers facility is causing player injuries by dehydrating their cells.

The wireless stuff, basically it dries you out on the inside. So have you ever taken a rubber band and like left it out in the sun and it goes from being nice and stretchy to being brittle and snaps? ... there's been a lot of research in the past 50 years... showing that it can cause cause harm at the cellular level by dehydrating yourselves among other things.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

Bo Nix is 'dog phobic' because he is secretly a dog himself

He is afraid of dogs because he's worried that deep down inside... he's gonna have to tell his parents 'I'm a dog.' I think he's trying to suppress his inner dog because he knows if he becomes the dog that bit him, it's watch out world. He got bit by a dog as a child and became a dog.

Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning from getting too many MRIs

Do you think Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning? Mm. From all the MRIs. Too many MRIs and all the x-rays... It might be like Chernobyl.

Joe Burrow is using a 'Jedi mind trick' to get the Bengals to trade him without asking directly

I think what [Burrow] is trying to do is make the Bengals decide to trade him so that he doesn't have to say, I want to be traded and get them to recognize he's not happy... I think he's trying to do the Jedi mind trick to get them to trade him without him having to ask to be traded.

AJ Brown will likely be traded by the Philadelphia Eagles this offseason

I won't be surprised if AJ Brown is traded in the off season. I think we're at the point where it makes sense for both sides for him to move on. They can find another receiver, they can make their offense go without him.

Jayden Daniels is the worst quarterback from the 2024 draft class

My preemptive take of the year was right. Commanders would miss a playoffs and Jayden Daniels be the worst out of all the quarterbacks in 2024. [Big Cat: 'Michael Penix?'] He looked pretty good before the injury.

Kyle Pitts will eventually have 20 touchdowns in one season

I predicted that Kyle Pitts will have the greatest year of any tight end of ever in year 20 in the NFL. He'll have 20 touchdowns. That's a fact.

The 'Blob' weather pattern could mean the end of the world

B-Big Cat, We are Earth could be finished. We could be done... There's a world, the blob never goes away... I do wanna say you're right. I was being dramatic there. Blob will go away, but it's sinking its toes right now.

The Kansas City Chiefs are officially eliminated from playoff contention

The Kansas City Chiefs have been eliminated from playoff contention... I just don't think that they can run the table because that's gonna be it. It's hard. These aren't the same chiefs.

The New York Jets will acquire Lamar Jackson from the Ravens next season

I do go to bed and I just thinking who's the next quarterback will be next season. And right now we're on Lamar Jackson... Ravens don't make the playoffs. Raven's good organization. They've moved on from quarterbacks in the past... we got like three years of Lamar.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

Wisconsin Football is currently the worst program in Power Four football

Wisconsin football just because they're the worst team in college football, Power Four college football. It's an absolute joke what's happened to the program. They haven't scored a touchdown in two games. The culture's broken, the program's broken.

Baker Mayfield's poor performance was due to helium-filled footballs

The rational side of the internet and sports fans understand that this is an inflategate situation. Those balls were getting thrown high for a reason, and I think it might be helium based... I think a back room equipment room job might have went down.

Every Philadelphia sports team should be blown up and started from ground zero

Done. Everything's done. Blow it up. Blow up. Start every single team from ground zero. No, I, every single one of 'em, I'm done with the union.

Jalen Hurts looks like the worst quarterback in the NFL

Jalen Hurts looks like the worst fucking quarterback in the NFL. He's a bad quarterback right now.

Saquon Barkley has been horrible all season for the Eagles

Saquon also all of a sudden sucks. Now that no one's talking about that. He's horrible. He's been horrible all year. The whole team sucks. Everyone sucks.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

The Green Bay Packers are a generational, once-in-a-lifetime team

Today is September 12th and the Green Bay Packers are a problem. Generational team. I listen credit to us. We said if they don't win the Super Bowl, it would be the greatest upset in the history of sports. And they are so good. They're guaranteed to win this Super Bowl and probably next year's Super Bowl.

The Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl

Bills have the easiest schedule now. Undefeated. Would it, wouldn't it be funny if the bills went undefeated? It's week one. I'm not gonna overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are gonna go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.

Nico Iamaleava should transition to being a wide receiver

Nico, I'm a receiver. Yeah, that's, that's what I'm calling him... I think he's very fast. I think he's got great change of direction. I think he has no idea how to throw like an intermediate pass whatsoever.

The Packers fleeced the Cowboys in the Micah Parsons trade

Packers fleeced... yes this is a cope and then I'm gonna mute the whole thing. This is crazy... will there be a player in the next two drafts in the, let's call it 15 to 25 range, where the packers will most likely be picking that will be better than Micah Parsons? The answer is no.

The Super Bowl should be played in London to make it a bigger global event

It's a football field. It's the same dimensions, it's the same place. Hey, people are, have it so twisted where it's like, if we want this to be the biggest event in the world, we should have it in [London]... It's better for the sport. It's better for the show. It's better for us. It's better for everyone.

The Denver Broncos have one of the five best rosters in football and are Super Bowl contenders

The Bo Nicks thing to me, like it makes total sense... I think the Broncos are, are amazing. Like they, they have one of the five best rosters in football. I think they're a Super Bowl contender.

Caleb Williams missing throws in training camp is actually AI-generated

I did see another one [video] that got like no retweets of him actually nailing the drills. ... I sent [Ryan Whitney] the clip and he said, sick. He looks awesome, being obviously facetious. And I said, that's AI dude. ... But I got you to believe that for a second.

Nikola Jokic will force a trade from Denver to the Chicago Bulls because of the large Serbian population in Chicago

I think Nikola Jokic is gonna force a trade out of Denver at the end of the season to the Chicago Bulls. Whoa. Number one Serbia population in America. Wow. That's just a wild one.

Jayden Daniels will be the worst quarterback of the 2024 NFL Draft class

The Washington Commanders are gonna miss the playoffs. Jayden Daniels finish dead last out of the 2024 QBs in that draft class.

Patrick Mahomes might be washed

Mahomes might be washed. He just discussed, he didn't play great at the end of the year. They choked in the Super Bowl.

The Wizards should draft Caitlin Clark to sell tickets

Why don't the [Wizards] draft Caitlin Clark? I think she'd sell tickets. I think she'd sell tickets. Now is, is she at the ability level to be an NBA player? No. Obviously not. But sell tickets. She can go out there, there ball and hoop. She can hit a couple threes.

The Knicks are going to hire Rick Brunson as their head coach

There's a theory that they're crossing all these names off. They're gonna ask everybody get denied and then they're gonna go back with a Rick Brunson being the coach. That's a theory I saw out there.

I am officially the best bunter in Major League Baseball history

I do say this though. I do say I'm the best bunter in major league history... I had one bunt attempt got it down. So. Anytime big situations, I always say I'm the best bunner in major league history. You ready to, can't take that away from me. I'm one for one.

The Carolina Panthers are destined for the Super Bowl because Ohio State won and Jennifer Lopez is getting divorced

2024 Ohio State wins the National championship. The Panthers have a losing record. Next year, 2025, the Panthers open up with the Jacksonville Jaguars again. Also in 2002, Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce... 2014 Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce... 2024 Jennifer Lopez files for divorce from Ben Affleck. It seems like the Carolina Panthers gonna be the Super Bowl.

Steph Curry is the West Coast version of Joel Embiid in the playoffs

Some are saying that Steph Curry is the West coast version of Joel Embiid in the playoffs.

The Capitals are going to 'skull fuck' Paul Bissonnette and the Maple Leafs in the Eastern Conference Finals

Paul Bissonnette, you better hope that you get your ass kicked in the second round because I wouldn't like nothing better than the skull fuck you in the Eastern Conference finals. And I will, I will skull fuck you. Tom Wilson will skull fuck you.

A fake kidnapping is the only way to find out if a rookie is 'ride or die'

You gotta fake kidnap your boys if you wanna make sure that they ride or die... it's a simple question of: do I like this kid? And the only way to find out is you go down the line and it's fake kidnapping with a real gun on video.

Jalen Brunson is the next 'Can't Win The Big One' guy in the NBA

How about this one? Hank, you're gonna like this one. Jalen Brunson. Mm. Does that do anything for you? Yeah. Not clutch at all... I'm trying to predict where the narratives are gonna go next... The Knicks were built to beat the Celtics this year.

Cooper Flagg should opt out of the Final Four to protect his draft stock

If I was Cooper Flagg, I would sit out. Yeah. And don't get hurt. You're gonna be playing against grown ass men. Sit out, opt out, and then just wait to enter the NBA draft and make money

FIFA is not a corrupt organization

Anyone that was pointing a finger at Sep Blatter and saying that FIFA is corrupt... Guess what? You're wrong. He's been officially cleared. Fifa. It turns out plot twist, not corrupt. Everything's above board in FIFA.

The sun was switched out 40 years ago for a new, worse sun

I found guys... that think that actually this is a different sun that was, that we switched the sun out like 40 years ago and it's the new sun and it's worse for you... I gotta do some more research on the new sun guys.

Beards are causing baseball injuries because the face is connected to the elbow

My who's back is baseball injuries 'cause Garrett Cole's out for the year... Bad Tommy John. They should never change the rules about shaving your face. Like this, this would not have happened if he was clean shaven. That's true. That's your, your face. Your face is connected to your shoulder, to your elbow.

Rob Gronkowski is considering an NFL comeback with the Denver Broncos

Rob Gronkowski is considering a return to the NFL and that he would like to potentially play for the Denver Broncos... I'm told he loves Denver and Quarterback Bo Nix... He's gonna be a Bronco. There's no other way for him to do this than be a Bronco.

The NBA internally tried to send Luka Doncic to the Lakers to stop LeBron James from starting a rival league

What if the NBA forced Luka [Doncic] to the Lakers to basically like forced LeBron to stay? Because the Luka thing still doesn't make any sense. ... LeBron is clearly like doing something, like something's going on where he is protesting... and maybe the NBA knew about this internally and they tried to send Luka to LA to somehow stop LeBron from doing what he's trying to do.

Jalen Hurts is better than Patrick Mahomes

I actually, like Max and Rowan were onto something with the Jalen Hertz thing. What he might be, he think he is just better than Mahomes. Their head-to-head matchups. And I like it. Hank Hertz has has dominated them. If you'd only watch the two Super Bowls that the, that Jalen Hertz and Patrick Mahomes played against each other. Jalen Hertz clears 'em by a million.