Takes

Jalen Hurts is a legit superstar and Lincoln Riley's offense is 'cold fusion'

Alabama had a great quarterback like Jalen Hurts, how unstoppable they would be. And he was fucking lighting it up, and Lincoln Riley... his PROS... to a college football coach, that's like discovering cold fusion.

Hugh Freeze is the 'Football Guy of the Year' after coaching from a hospital bed

Hugh Freeze, Liberty head coach... He coached from a hospital bed. That's going to be impossible to beat. The football guy of the year moment in week one.

The addition of Hawaii games streaming on Facebook is the greatest thing for degenerate gamblers

Mountain West announced today that Hawaii football games are going to stream live on Facebook. Thank fucking God. So all you degenerate gamblers... I like that. And so what time are those games? They're usually like midnight? I love that. It's the game that you bet when you've had a terrible Saturday and you're like, let me just try to get one win before Sunday.

Michigan's season is defined by the outcome of the Ohio State game

The last game for us defines the season... There's also 11 important games in front of that that dictate and define whether you win the Big Ten championship and whether you go to the playoffs, and then the last game defines the entire season.

NC State is the most average college football team in history

North Carolina State football... they are five-ten overall for their entire history. Five hundred and ten winning percentage. They have twenty-three of the last 40 years they've gone to a bowl game. All the bowl games are like the exact same... the Gator Bowl, the Sun Bowl, the Independence Bowl... Every year is basically 7, 8, 9 [wins].

Nick Saban got significantly outcoached by Dabo Swinney in the National Championship

Not only was it an ass-kicking, Nick Saban got outcoached. He got outcoached. He was outcoached by far.

Clemson is the new standard in college football

I would say that Clemson's the standard right now. Clemson is really, really good offensively. They've got [Trevor] Lawrence coming back for, I think, five more years. He's 19. Who basically hung 50-burger on Nick Saban.

Alabama always struggles with mobile quarterbacks like Kyler Murray

No, Alabama always struggles with quarterbacks like Kyler. [Mobile quarterbacks]... If you look at their losses, they've only had like four in the last 10 years. They all came against mobile quarterbacks. So is the blueprint out?

My dream for LSU is to win a national championship

National champs. I won a national championship for the state of Louisiana, for these players. They yearn for it, they work for it, and I want to win a national championship there.

Texas will be 'all the way back' if they beat Georgia in the Sugar Bowl

They [Texas] have this opportunity in the Sugar Bowl to be all the way back. If they beat Georgia, they're officially back. They're all the way back.

Urban Meyer will absolutely coach again despite his current retirement

He's going to coach again, right? He's absolutely going to coach again. He's going to coach again.

LSU will beat UCF in the Fiesta Bowl

[UCF is] playing LSU, that's right. If they beat LSU, which they're not going to, we're not saying they are, but if they were to beat LSU by double digits, [they should get a shot at the national champion].

Kyler Murray's Heisman race is closer than people think

Kyler Murray is surpassing everything Baker Mayfield did last year as far as numbers-wise. And you could even argue he's better... I think it's going to be a really close race. And I think whichever one wins it, I think obviously it's much deserved.

Jim Harbaugh is not on the hot seat because Michigan cannot hire anyone better

I don't think he's on the hot seat... because I don't think Michigan can do better. That's the key part. It's like, if you're a Michigan fan and you're like, we want to fire Jim Harbaugh, who the fuck are you getting? No one.

Oklahoma will make the College Football Playoff over Ohio State

Oklahoma will go in over Ohio State. Especially because you have... if they beat Texas in the Big 12 championship game, their loss to Texas basically doesn't count anymore.

Clemson is the one team that can actually beat Alabama.

I am getting back on my take from earlier that I think that Clemson could beat Alabama. I really think they could. I think Dabo... Dabo is as close to Nick Saban as this next generation of coaches is going to get.

Kyler Murray should win the Heisman Trophy over Tua Tagovailoa because his efficiency metrics are better.

If you want another take that you want to throw out there... Kyler Murray for Heisman. And then everyone says, but Tua didn't play fourth quarters. And you say, well, if you take away Kyler Murray's fourth quarters, he still has better numbers than Tua. Boom.

Les Miles will be the next head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks

As first reported on Pardon My Take, stolen from message boards online. Les Miles will be the next head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks.

Ben Mason is the clear number one fullback in college football

Mason's my clear number one. No, Mason, to me, is clearly the best fullback in college right now. He just destroys dudes.

Clemson is the only team with a chance to beat Alabama this year

The only team I can see maybe beating Alabama is possibly Clemson. But I only say that... because I'm an idiot, and I know Clemson and Alabama haven't played any common opponents, I don't think.

Clemson is the only team that can go toe-to-toe with Alabama

Clemson feels like the only team that could go toe to toe with Alabama. And I'm not sure. Cause if you get Clemson, when they hit kill mode, I don't think Notre Dame or Michigan or LSU would be able to hang with him.

Urban Meyer can't get his team ready for inferior opponents

Urban Meyer's sad faces on the sideline because Ohio State lost a game that they should have won... people are saying, not me, people are saying, Urban Meyer, can he get his team ready for the inferior opponents? I don't know... but this is now becoming a trend for Urban Meyer.

James Franklin made the worst play call of all time against Ohio State

James Franklin had somehow the worst play call off of two timeouts that I've ever seen. The Ohio State-Penn State game... fourth and five, needs it to keep the game alive. He's got three timeouts. He uses two of them to decide what to call and then calls a handoff that went nowhere.

Wisconsin is out of the national title race after losing to BYU

The one redeeming quality about Wisconsin Badger football fans is we are realists to a fault. I never, we're not, we're out of the national, you know. It's not going to happen. We could win every game and it still wouldn't happen. You can't lose as 23 and a half point favorites.

Texas will beat USC in their rematch

We think that Texas might actually beat USC. I think they will. This feels like Texas comes out and, hey, maybe they're not as bad as we thought they were.

The Miami Hurricanes and Texas Longhorns are on the fraud watch list

I don't think it's fair for us to put Miami on the fraud list just yet after one week. Let's put them on a watch list... questionable Miami. I would say Texas is also questionably fraud.

Michigan is going to be very good this year

I think Michigan is going to be very good this year. I've come all the way around. I love Jim Harbaugh, and their defense is going to be so good.

Georgia is becoming the new Alabama

I think Georgia is becoming the new Alabama. And I actually filmed a video where I say, I think Georgia's going to win the SEC this year. Because I think Georgia, by the end of this season, they have to replace so many guys that you know. But the thing is... the guys they have coming in might eventually be better.

Clemson will win the National Championship

National champion, Clemson. I think they wind up going with [Trevor] Lawrence... if the guys are equal again, you're going to go with the higher ceiling guy.

LSU finally has a legitimate starting quarterback in Joe Burrow

I think LSU has a quarterback now. Because the Ohio State coaches and Ohio State players, I don't think they were blowing smoke when they said Burrow was fairly close to Haskins... This dude could start most places. And if Burrow is pretty good, well, guess what? It's a totally different end.

LSU will beat Miami in the season opener

I still, with the pass rush that LSU should be able to generate, I like LSU in that game [against Miami].

The over on West Virginia's 7.5 win total is a lock

West Virginia, their over-under is 7.5. Oh, wow. I want to hammer that... Will Grier is maybe the best quarterback in the country... They're going to put up sick numbers on offense.

I will not believe Texas football is 'back' until they win a meaningful bowl game

I am firmly in the camp of I will not listen to any Texas who's back until they actually play in a meaningful bowl game... I feel like Texas every year, they're back, and they're going to go 7-5.

The 2018 Cal Golden Bears football team will be good

How's Cal going to be this year? Good, right? I thought they were going to be good this year.

Urban Meyer's defense in the Zach Smith scandal is just 'passing the buck' to Gene Smith

Urban Meyer has figured out his defense, and it is kind of what we all expected. He released a statement... and he basically went with the, I have always followed proper reporting protocols... Gene Smith, you are pretty much fucked and Urban Meyer's just gonna say yeah he told everyone and it's your fault for not doing anything.

Urban Meyer will survive the Ohio State scandal because big-time programs protect winners

I actually think that [Urban Meyer] is going to survive it because that's how big-time football works. This guy wins a lot of football games, so we got to figure out a way to keep him. I think he'll still survive it. I think he'll get a four-game suspension right before Big Ten season.

LSU will actually have a good quarterback this year

Plus, they've got a good quarterback this time. So we've said that a lot about LSU, but this is the year.

I will win a National Championship for the state of Louisiana

I want a national championship for the state of Louisiana, for these players. They yearn for it. They work for it. And I want to win a national championship there.

I will win a national championship for the state of Louisiana

I want national championship for the state of Louisiana, for these players. They yearn for it. They work for it. And I want to win a national championship. Now I got it [the job], but I got to do something with it.

The term 'amateurism' is a made-up concept used by the NCAA to exploit athletes

Every single year, we would have the NCAA meeting... they would always use this word amateurism, the word that they created, and then they'd lock it down on it. Like... Well, you can't affect your amateurism status. Like, motherfucker, you made up that word.

Miami football won't have a quarterback who can hit a guy next year

Do you have a quarterback coming up next year that's going to be able to hit a guy? Probably not. I think our talent just caught up to us.

Notre Dame is back to being a consistent Top 15 football program

I do think Notre Dame's going to be back into the... definitely top 15, I think, consistently type of football team once again... yes, I do think they're back into the national conversation.

I am fully on board with Tua Tagovailoa

I've got Tua fever. Yeah. I am fully on board with Tua... I think it's the Hawaiian aspect. Like Hawaiian people are just cooler than everyone else. That's just a straight up fact.

Sony Michel is the bell cow of the Georgia backfield

Either one of those senior running backs. I'm probably a little bit more to Sony just because I think he's got a little bit more extra. You know what I mean?

The National Championship between Alabama and Georgia will be the most physical of the playoff era

I don't know if you'll see a game of this magnitude be as physical as these two teams are going to make it. That's what they both pride themselves on.

Georgia is the best coaching job in America

For the last five or six years, I've said Georgia's the best job in America. And the person who convinced me of that is Nick Saban. He always thought that Georgia was the best job in America if you really got it rolling because there's so much talent in the state.

Jalen Hurts is not good enough to win the National Championship

I have a take I'm squatting on. I think Jalen Hurts sucks, and he is going to do in the Alabama... their offense actually was not good against Clemson's defense... if they play offensively like they did against Clemson, I think they lose this game.

Herm Edwards will win significantly more games at Arizona State than people expect

I think he's going to be great at recruiting. I think he's going to be great with the players. I think he's going to win a lot more games than people give... I'm saying he's going to win significantly more than that. It's going to be surprising.

Jim Harbaugh is not on the hot seat despite criticism from Amani Toomer.

I am not putting [Harbaugh] on the hot seat, but Amani Toomer put him on the hot seat... Amani, you kind of lose everything here by thinking Paris Hilton's a supermodel. [Harbaugh] is not on the hot seat. You're on the hot seat, Amani Toomer, for your lackluster analysis.

Sam Darnold should enter the NFL draft immediately because he is not developing further at USC.

And Darnold, there's reports now he might go back to USC, which I don't think is a good idea. Because I think if he wants to develop, he doesn't need to go back to USC to develop because clearly he's not getting it there. Go to the NFL and start learning your craft and getting paid for it.