Takes

Success for the 2018 Bears means beating the Green Bay Packers

What's success look like in 2018? Beat the Packers. There we go.

Colin Kaepernick's lawyers picked a fight they can't win against Roger Goodell and Papa John

My first hot seat is Colin Kaepernick's lawyers. Uh-oh. Because they picked some fights that they can't win. They're going up against Roger Goodell's two favorite people in the world, his wife and Papa John. ... They're going to ask Papa John if he gave instructions or if he was given instructions by Jerry Jones.

Josh McDaniels only stayed in New England because Tom Brady promised to play three more years

I don't think [Josh] McDaniels walks away from Indianapolis if Tom Brady doesn't say to him, 'I'm gonna stay for three more years.' [Josh] McDaniels would be the dumbest person in the world if Belichick's like, 'Yeah, I'm done next year,' and Brady's like, 'Yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna play more than one year,' because then he would basically be [stuck].

Nick Foles will get 'a lot of money' and Cleveland will try to sign him

How much money would you pay Nick Foles next year? He's going to get a lot of money. Cleveland... Cleveland comes knocking for Nick Foles. Nick Foles would be the perfect addition to that [quarterback jersey], you have to admit.

I can play up to five more years in the NFL

How many more years are you going to play in the NFL? I would say anywhere between one and five... 15? Yeah, I could do 15 [seasons total].

Doug Peterson is a quarterback whisperer and the real reason Carson Wentz was successful

I think that Carson Wentz is not as good as people think he is. And it's actually Doug Peterson is a QB whisperer. Because he's had enough time now, and Nick Foles looked... He was doing everything that Carson Wentz had done earlier in the year in that game against the Vikings. And I think it's not an aberration.

Tom Brady will throw for three touchdowns and 350 yards against the Jaguars despite his hand injury

I think it's pretty obvious. Brady's going to come out. He's going to throw for three touchdowns, 350 yards. I don't think it's going to really make a difference.

If the Jaguars get two sacks in the first quarter, it will be a three-point game

If the Jaguars get two sacks in the first quarter, I think it's going to be a three-point game... The Jaguars, they play a perfect game. They can win this game.

The Jaguars' defense is as good as the 2002 Buccaneers

I've been saying since week four, not to brag, the Jaguars' defense is like the Buccaneers in 2002. They're that good.

The Patriots will beat the Titans by 30 points

Bet every single dollar you have on the Patriots. They're going to win by 30.

Baker Mayfield is the best quarterback in the draft

Baker Mayfield. I take Baker Mayfield over any of them. I was the same way with Deshaun Watson last year. ... That dude, he operates as quick as the good NFL quarterbacks when you watch the guys you watch on Sunday.

The Saints and Patriots will play in the Super Bowl

I think it's going to be Saints and Patriots in the Super Bowl.

Atlanta is the most interesting Wild Card team and can go the distance

The most interesting team to me right now is Atlanta... at that point, we had kind of figured it out. We'd gotten over all the post-Super Bowl stuff that goes with it and understood kind of what we had to do, but it was a little bit too late. I think if we had gotten into the playoffs at that point, we would have been a real problem for teams.

Bruce Arians will be back to coaching within two months of his retirement.

Bruce Arians, he's retired. But as we know, he's not going to know what to do with himself. He's just going to sit on his porch staring out into infinity for two months, and he'll think that's retirement, and then he'll be like, I've got to get back to coaching.

Baker Mayfield has the fewest red flags among the 2018 draft's top quarterbacks.

I'm telling you, Baker Mayfield has the least red flags of all of them from what I've seen on film watching him throw.

The Seahawks championship window is closed

I define the window off their defense, not off Russell Wilson. And I think their defense is closed. I think they're going to lose a lot of guys.

Removing Alex Guerrero from the Patriots is a good thing because it lights a fire under Tom Brady

It's not a friction. It's actually a good thing. It means Belichick's lighting a fire under Brady's ass because friction causes fire. So Belichick knows he's got to push Brady's buttons if he wants him to keep playing at this level at such an old age.

The Jaguars have the ingredients to win in New England or Pittsburgh in January

I think this is a team that could win in New England in the divisional round, it could win in Pittsburgh in the divisional round, and it could keep the AFC championship game from happening... It's a Florida team that has all the ingredients to play in the elements in January.

The Falcons are a 'lurker' team that knows how to win ugly and can make a deep run

I think we haven't heard the last of Dan Quinn in the Falcons. I feel like they're the lurker. You know what I mean? The team, it's like they have all the pieces, and they've played really shitty and survived... They would know how to win ugly.

The Bills will finish 10-6 and make the playoffs

Everything's out in front of us. I mean, we just got to start winning. I'll go 10-6. Win a road game in New England. The curse has been broken. Yes, we're coming. We're coming for you [Brady].

The Kansas City Chiefs are officially frauds

The Bills, they might be back... This is for real because they go into Kansas City, a Chiefs team that I will officially say is a fraud. They're frauds.

Rex Burkhead is a rich man's Danny Woodhead

I liked what Bill Belichick was doing with Rex Burkhead tonight... he's a poor man's Danny Woodhead, which technically makes him a rich man's Danny Woodhead, if that makes any sense at all.

The Jaguars and Rams are both going to the Super Bowl

The Jaguars and the Rams are, knock on wood, both going to the playoffs. Super Bowl... The Rams are a legitimately good team... The Jags' defense is unbelievable.

Josh Gordon won't be as good as before because he's sober

[Josh Gordon] got reinstated, but it came out that he admitted that he used drugs or alcohol before every single game he's ever played. So he's going to have to come back and not use drugs or alcohol, and he's not going to be that good.

The Jimmy Garoppolo trade is the beginning of the end for the Patriots dynasty

This started a chain of events that is going to end the Patriots dynasty... Belichick was basically cut out of this, right? So Belichick's pissed... and then he's going to resign. Okay. And then that's the end of it.

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

The Patriots and Seahawks will meet in the Super Bowl

Right now, if I had to pick two teams for the Super Bowl, I'd say the Patriots and the Seahawks.

The NFL's ratings decline is a 'fake news' narrative partially caused by warm weather

Ratings are down 7.5%... Fake news, because we watch more than ever... Also, I just want to note this, that it just today felt like fall... You can't fully embrace football when it's 90 degrees.

Players are statistically less likely to get a concussion without a helmet

I think you're actually statistically less likely to get a concussion when you're not wearing a helmet. Agree, because you protect your head more. That's basically that's a basic fact of human reaction to things.

Cam Newton stinks again

Cam Newton stinks again. Well, that's not entirely true. Okay. He kind of stinks. He likes to go up and down. I feel like when Cam, when everyone's like, ooh, Cam's putting it all together. He's like, hey, guys, watch this. Hey, hold my avocado. Watch this. Because he's a millennial. He's going to fucking just throw three interceptions and look like trash.

Jerry Jones is intentionally stalling Roger Goodell's contract to force him out by 2019

And there are some who think that what he's really trying to do is drive such a hard bargain with Roger Goodell that Goodell just eventually says, screw it, I'm out of here when my contract expires in 2019.

The Super Bowl will feature the Patriots against either the Falcons or the Packers

I'm going Patriots on the AFC. They will play—they're going to play either the Falcons or the Packers.

The Bears will go 4-12 and be horrific

I think [the Bears] are going to be horrific. I think they go four and 12.

The New York Jets will win 4 games because no one can run against them

I say the Jets, I put the Jets at 4-12. I mean, they have the worst offense in football, but their defensive front four is still amazing... Teams that cannot pass can never beat the Jets. Jets will murder them... but you will be able to throw over the top. That's how you beat the Jets.

Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson will be part of a 'sneaky good' QB class

I have a feeling this year's class... all four have a chance to be sneaky good, I think, in the NFL... Pat Mahomes, Mitch Trubisky, Deshaun Watson, and even DeShone Kizer.

Jerry Jones will do something to embarrass Roger Goodell at the next owners' meeting

I like this because this means that Jerry Jones is going to do something to embarrass Roger Goodell at the owner's meeting. He's maybe going to lick his pizza. He's like, here you go... He pantses him. Just pantses him.

Roger Goodell skipping the Patriots season opener is a sign of disrespect that will lead to another title

Probably when [Roger] Goodell doesn't show up to game one. That's going to be a clear sign of disrespect that [the Patriots] are going to have to avenge by going to the Super Bowl and winning another championship.

The Jaguars will never have the #1 overall pick in franchise history because they aren't even good at being bad

They've never, ever been the worst team in the league by record... If they get only two wins, there's a good chance they'll have the number one overall pick, which will be the first time in Jaguars history that they have the number one overall pick.

High school football is officially back in June because grad parties are over

High school football is back. Grad parties are over. Coaches are distributing helmets and shoulder pads. It's June. Mini camps in full effect.

The Jacksonville Jaguars are the funniest long con in professional sports history

The Jacksonville Jaguars might be the funniest thing to ever occur in professional sports. This has been a long con. We've all been owned... It's like a Wes Anderson movie. It's like you don't really appreciate a Wes Anderson movie. That's what the Jaguars are saying to everyone. You don't look at it the right way.

Roger Goodell punishing Josh Gordon by not letting him play for the Browns is actually doing him a favor

Telling a player that your punishment is that you don't have to play for the Cleveland Browns is probably a little bit misguided. So, like, hey, good for Josh. He doesn't have to be a Brown.

Deshaun Watson is the best quarterback in the 2017 draft class

I like Deshaun Watson. I think Deshaun Watson has proven he can play in big games... I think Deshaun Watson is probably number one.

Eli Manning definitely committed fraud with the game-worn gear scandal

He did commit fraud. That's okay. What he should do is just come out and be like, hey, guys, I committed fraud. That's on me.

Mitch Trubisky screwed himself by measuring 6'2" because of Hue Jackson's arbitrary height cutoff

Hugh Jackson, his cutoff for quarterbacks, 6'2". So Mitch Trubisky kind of screwed himself. He should have slouched a little bit, hoping that he went at 6'1"... [Hue] just said, if the quarterback's not 6'2 or taller, I don't want him.

Adrian Peterson's NFL career is basically over

I think Adrian Peterson's career is... it's pretty much a career for him... he hitting his kid with a switch... he doesn't catch the ball that often. He doesn't run the ball out of shotgun. This isn't the NFL for him.

The Atlanta Falcons might not actually be good

Are the falcons good? I don't know... they had some bad losses. They lost the chiefs, the chargers too, right?... The Falcons might not be good. Actually, if you look at the first half of the Super Bowl, they were good. Second half, not so good. You know what I'm doing? I'm crossing them off my list.

Super Bowl LI Prediction: Patriots 33, Falcons 24

Give us a Super Bowl prediction. 33-24 pass. Sorry, Atlanta.

Ben Roethlisberger is not actually retiring; he just enjoys the attention

Big Ben's not retiring. Come on... A little pre-prediction, though. Big Ben has now reached the point of his career where he's just going to Brett Favre for this every year. Like he'll end up playing for some weird. Big Ben's destiny is to like play one weird season for the Jaguars.

The NFL is trying to eliminate kickoffs by moving them up to the 30-yard line

Do you feel in the back of your mind that the NFL one day is going to just eliminate kickoffs entirely? Are you worried about that at all? ... They trying to right now. That's why they took it out of the Pro Bowl. So they're trying to get it out. That's why they moved the kick up to the 30 because kickers can kick. So they want them kicking out the end zone every time.

Matt Ryan is the new Joe Flacco and is entering 'clutch gene' territory

Matt Ryan is going to be the new Joe Flacco. Right now, the story on Matt Ryan is he doesn't have the clutch gene. If he wins this game, he might have the clutch gene. He's getting into the clutch gene territory.