Takes

Jake Paul is lying about being 6'1" and is actually 5'9"

Jake Paul is lying about his height. He's listed at 6'1", but is really 5'9". And I put a picture of Jake Paul who wore a headdress in his face-off with Nate Robinson to show that he's not actually the same height... He's shorter than KSI, who is listed as 5'9".

No NFL quarterback wearing a visor will ever win a Super Bowl

My second hot take was, I don't think that quarterbacks with visors will win a Super Bowl ever. Has a quarterback with a visor won a Super Bowl ever?

Theo Epstein will be the next MLB Commissioner

I actually think he'll be the next commissioner. He should be the next commissioner. I think Manfred's got to be nervous because Theo Epstein's a fucking genius, and everything he does turns into being great.

I would give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl

Would you give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl? Yeah, probably I would... but I don't want to have that fun taken away. Like, why would I do that to myself?

I am one of the best in the world at predicting Dave Portnoy's pizza review scores

I feel like I'm one of the best in the world at predicting what Dave is going to rate a pizza... I'm nasty like it's just it's crazy. Like I picked this so many times... I would put money up if we want to do that one day.

Joe Burrow will be a championship quarterback in the NFL

Joe's gonna get a Supporting Cast will be a championship quarterback. No doubt. Yeah, you know the harder you hit Joe Duffy gets yeah, you know, you know, he's taking some hits for us and that Fiesta Bowl he took you know, I don't know if you'll get out of going for miles to come in he goes, he's one more unexpected of word know about you know, yeah. He just started on that ignites it

I am being scammed by an Airbnb host for $40,000 in pool damages

I'm being investigated for $40,000 worth of damages by Airbnb... the homeowner has contacted me saying that I caused $40,000 worth of [damage to] the pool... They say that I didn't keep the pool at the correct level and that the motor and the pump broke down... I think she's scamming me... I didn't even cause a penny worth of damage.

Suggesting humans are the only life in the universe is inexcusably egocentric

To suggest that we're the only life in the universe would be inexcusably egocentric... Recognizing the likelihood of there being life in the universe is not the same thing as agreeing with UFO enthusiasts.

Matthew Stafford is a future Hall of Famer based on his statistics

I'm the one who's on the hook as calling him as a hall-of-fame future hall-of-fame quarterback just based off his ridiculous stats. Yeah. No, he's absolutely going to be in the Hall of Fame.

Workaholics will be 12 times funnier when we are all 50

We have always been very adamant in saying that Workaholics gets 12 times more funnier when we're all 50 and or like even older and still living together, and I'm just bald on the top of my head. It's just storylines for days.

Eli Manning is a surefire Hall of Famer

I think Eli you the Hall of Famer is the first ballot. I don't know but I think in this your Fire Hall of Famer without a doubt, I think just the two Super Bowl wins, and and the Let's play that he had missed a career that he had without missing.

I will run for President of the United States in 2024 or 2028

If I do run it's probably going to be either 2024 or 2028. [Big Cat points out 2025 isn't an election year]. ... 2028, there you hear it. I think that'd be cool.

Philip Rivers is definitely a Hall of Fame player

I miss tilt on man. He's he's a stud and I mean he was just very underrated to me. I mean he is just I think he's all the same player and you know, everybody wants to debate that but I think he is I mean, he's a stud and just the things that he does in the background that I got to see just firsthand.

I would hammer the under on Patrick Mahomes winning 3.5 more Super Bowls

If you though said over under Super Bowls for Patrick Mahomes, and you said it at let's say three and a half, I would hammer the under and that's nothing against Patrick Mahomes. That's just the NFL.

Kim Kardashian has a better chance of being President than Kanye West

I actually do think that I don't think it's going to be Kanye. I would actually think that Kim [Kardashian] has a better chance of being pressed. Absolutely. In like five, ten years, 100%.

I think Bryson DeChambeau is taking steroids

I'm out on Bryson DeChambeau. Yes, he's big the bombs. Guess he's put on weight, but he's artificially I'm going to say it right now. I think he's taking steroids. I think that it's artificial popcorn muscles.

The world will end on February 10, 2045

The world's going to end—January? No, it's going to be after the Super Bowl, February 10th. When? 2045. Okay, that's my prediction... on my 80th birthday. 2045, I'm gonna go out with a prostitute and a bad batch of heroin. Boom.

I can swim 100 yards underwater and hold my breath for 5 minutes

[Billy Football's question] was how far can you swim underwater... 100 yards. You can? Yeah. [And] how long can you stay underwater if you're not moving? I don't know. Maybe around five minutes.

A golf match featuring OJ Simpson and Tiger Woods would be the highest-rated television show of all time

Tiger Woods and OJ Simpson as a team? Who is not watching that? I do believe that that would be the highest-rated television show of all time.

I'm wearing shorts exclusively until Labor Day and will not wear pants again this summer

I packed up all my shit this weekend. I put all my sweatpants on the highest shelf where I can't reach them... I'm done with pants for the summertime. I think from this point on, from now until Labor Day, I'm going shorts only.

Tekashi 6ix9ine's addiction to Instagram Live will eventually lead to his downfall

this dude is so good at self-promotion... But the only downside to it is he's addicted to going live. He goes live when he's about to commit crimes. And as somebody who's on the run from people that are looking for him, I think that's going to be his downfall.

Seth Curry's son will grow up to be the greatest basketball player alive

Seth Curry's kid is going to be the greatest basketball player alive... He'll be taking down the Bronnies.

Jordan Love will probably be a Hall of Famer because that's how it works for the Packers

Jordan Love will probably be a Hall of Famer just because that's how it always works out for [the Packers]. I just like that they're in, you know, it's just discombobulated for a minute. So just the drama over there brings me joy.

I could break 100 on the golf course playing left-handed

I don't know if I broke a hundred, that'd be pretty good. I'd be happy, pretty satisfied... I can hit it pretty far. I think I hit it like the driver... somewhere, I mean the guy hit it like 300 yards [left-handed].

Billy Mitchell is an assistant who talks in the third person to reporters

Shawn Jones is definitely Billy, right? Talking the third person. That's absolutely it's an assistant that Billy made up like Trump made up John Baron back in the 80s to like talk to reporters and shit.

A 17-game NFL season is just a bridge to an 18-game season

17 seems like a weird number. It absolutely feels like it's just a bridge to get to 18 games. Like that's the finish line. It's going to be 18 games. No one's going to want a 17-game season.

Joakim Noah is an NBA Hall of Famer.

There you are one of only five players to have a final four MVP, all-nba first team, all-defensive first team... Hakeem and Anthony Davis, Bill Walton, Jerry West... I think you're a Hall of Famer.

Patrick Mahomes will win 10 Super Bowl titles and 10 MVPs

Put this on a quote board right now because I truly believe this. I truly believe that Patrick Mahomes is going to end up being the first quarterback to have double digit Super Bowl titles and MVPs. 10.

The United States would win Olympic Gold in handball if they fielded a team of pro athletes

I do want to get a team together for the Olympics. I think it's handball... I guarantee we can put a team together that can win gold. Guaranteed. Just from pure, arm speed. I don't think guys in other countries [could compete].

Buy TikTok stock when it goes public

Mike Francesa told me... TikTok. Invest in TikTok. So invest in TikTok, invest in all the apps, invest in all the social media... when TikTok goes public, buy it, buy it again and get back in line three times to buy it some more.

I am going to bench press 215 pounds in 2020

My New Year's resolution is to... be able to bench press 215 pounds. So what would be—which will be really helpful for you... 215 once. Yeah.

Lane Kiffin will eventually coach at Alabama

He is he's gonna end up being like the coach of, Alabama... This is it feels like this is his second to last spot... he's very clearly looking at something else and I think that something else is Alabama.

NFL kicking will improve in 10 years because kids are giving up on American soccer

In 10 years kicking will be back because they all be like 'we suck at soccer, I'm not playing soccer anymore.' The giving up of soccer... any kid with a giant leg right now is 'fuck this, get this futebol shit off my television.'

Arch Manning will be a quarterback in the NFL for 20 years

Arch Manning who's going to be a quarterback in the NFL for 20 years. Arch Manning is going to play in the NFL for 20 years isn't he?

Eli Manning is a Hall of Famer because Super Bowl wins carry the most weight

The Super Bowl carries so much weight that I am totally fine with Eli Manning definitely being in the Hall of Fame because of those two runs. And they were incredible runs.

Donovan McNabb should be a Hall of Famer

I think that Donovan McNabb should be a Hall of Famer. I mean going against him every single year. ... He found ways of run the ball found ways to throw to get the ball down the field. I think that he is a Hall of Fame.

The Knicks will make an Eastern Conference Finals in my lifetime

Will the Knicks make an Eastern Conference Finals in your lifetime? I'm gonna say yes, but I think I'm being too optimistic about that.

Lincoln Riley's offensive gimmicks won't translate to the NFL

All those gimmicks won't play in the NFL. They don't translate. That's how, if you ever want to be a real naysayer online about the genius of Lincoln Riley, just respond to every breakdown of the Oklahoma plays. Be like, if he had to go up against an NFL D lineman, he'd be fucked.

Wisconsin will never win a national title in football or basketball

Personal one, Wisconsin will never win a national title in football or basketball... I accepted it when Coach K paid off the refs at halftime [in 2015], but that was the moment. It will never happen.

Climate change will cause the earth to fry in the next 100 years

Climate change is real and the earth is basically going to fry in the next hundred years... Or less. For sure going to happen.

Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith will eventually run for President together

I can see a world like 10 years from now, 15 years from now, where the two candidates for president are Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith. And then they run together. And then they're co-presidents.

Matthew Stafford is a Hall of Famer

Matt Stafford, by the way, still a Hall of Famer.

Bronny James Jr. is a 'buy' stock for future greatness

This is the anti-pander pick, Bronny James Jr. I'm going to squat on that one. I'm going to buy that stock.

Bronny James Jr. will be a bust

You are forgetting that this is all about a mountain of greatness. Not predicting future greatness. I still went with Bronny James Jr. Plus, he's going to be a bust.

Russell Wilson is definitely a Hall of Famer

Russell Wilson will be a Hall of Famer. Yes, he's a Hall of Famer.

The super-wealthy will eventually live in biodomes or on Mars

The rich people are going to be living in a biodome. That's a fact. Or on Mars. They're already working on it, dude. It's going to suck for everyone else.

Tom Cruise would murder Justin Bieber in a fight

I still think Tom Cruise would kick his ass. Tom Cruise would murder him. Dude, he does all his own stunts. Hanging outside of a helicopter at Mission Impossible. Yes, that's him.

Human civilization is highly likely to end by the year 2050

So good old science came out with a report today, and it said that it's highly likely that human civilization will end in 2050.

I will call Kevin Durant a 'baby back bitch' to his face

How do you think it's going to go when I call him a baby back bitch to his face? I think we have to. I don't think there's a choice.

If Anthony Joshua loses the rematch to Andy Ruiz Jr., his career is unrecoverable

If Anthony Joshua loses the second time to Andy Ruiz, I don't know how it's recoverable... I don't believe that it would be a stunner if Andy Ruiz is able to do it and repeat what he saw Saturday.