Hank

The Los Angeles Chargers are a sharp bet to win the Super Bowl at 45 to 1 odds

The original bet that we all put in together was, I don't think the Chargers are gonna win the Super Bowl, but they are at 45 to one insane odds. 'cause they're a playoff team and they could play, they could basically beat anyone in a one game elimination set.

The specialized NBA Cup courts are bad for casual fans and confusing to watch

I do not like the court. Okay. I don't like, I don't, I think for a casual fan it's gonna take a while for them to get The NBA a cup. It just doesn't help. It's like, what is wrong with this court? Then you have to explain this whole long NBA cup thing. Not a fan of the court.

The Patriots have turned the corner in the Drake Maye era

I think the Patriots are good. Like I think they've turned the corner. The post-mutiny Drake Maye era feels different... Guys are excited. He's giving speeches, everyone's fired up.

The Jaguars +14 against the Lions is the NFL makes no sense game of the year

I think so. This is like, this is the 'NFL makes no sense' game of maybe the year... NFL makes no sense. There's not like stats behind it. I am very close. But that, but it happens every year. There's always games where it's like, how the fuck did the Lions lose to the Jaguars when the playoffs come?

I am having a midlife crisis at 31 years old

I feel like it's, I know the answer that it's a sign that I'm going through somewhat of a midlife crisis... I have been spending a lot of time thinking about selling it [my car] and then leasing a really nice car... Why not open a line of credit with good points, pay the lease off with that and have a nice car.

The Eagles game is the Commanders' entire season — if they lose, the fraud label sticks

I think this game is your entire season, PFT. I think if they lose this game, it's their third playoff-caliber game that they've lost. And the season's over. You guys will officially be frauded because the teams you've beat are trash.

Drake May might actually be a better quarterback than Jayden Daniels and Caleb Williams

There's another car that has shown up to the race that is showing that it could be faster than all the other cars. [Drake May]... I'm starting to believe. I just want to win races. But that's the thing, like winning, winning races against shitty cars doesn't matter. You want to beat the good cars.

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson is going to be Billy vs Canseco — a huge disappointment where the older fighter gets hurt early

I feel like these fights are always disappointing. And this one I still feel like it will be. But that quote got me fired up and I am hoping I go on social media and see [Tyson] knock him the fuck out. It's gonna be Billy versus Canseco.

LeBron James wants Coach K to replace JJ Redick as the Lakers' head coach

I think this is LeBron wants Coach K as the coach Lakers and JJ out. Yeah, because it was a dream Coach K. And it was about Duke, JJ's team.

I'm betting big on the Patriots to cover +6 against the Bears

I'm going to bet this will not be in the Hungry Dog. I'm going to place a large... I'm going to bet Big Patriots plus six. Because then I think the Patriots can keep it close. Cover that.

The Commanders could finish as the number one seed in the NFC

I was looking at the schedule and the standings. I think you guys [Commanders] could be the one seed.

The Patriots should draft Travis Hunter

I feel like you gotta take the best player in college football. Travis Hunter... you get two players for one with him. It's tremendous value. Defensively, that'd be unstoppable with Christian Gonzalez.

The Commanders will lose their Week 9 matchup against the Giants

It would be very funny if, and I feel like the commanders are gonna lose this game. Yeah. Really. So Giants are gonna be, you're in your hungry dog thinking about it. Yeah. Wow. I honestly, I think the Giants are a good bet this week.

The Lions will defeat the Packers by at least 10 points

I'm excited about this game. I think the lions are gonna roll. 10 plus. Like a, A stomping.

Doc Rivers is on the Hot Seat because the Bucks have no identity

My Hot Seat is Doc Rivers... They are one in three on the season 18 and 22 in the Doc Rivers era. Mm. And Giannis was talking in the post game and said, right now we don't have an identity... How are we gonna win the game? ... No identity's bad.

Aaron Boone cost the Yankees World Series Game 1 with poor bullpen management

I got tremendous joy outta the fact that game one Aaron Boone made... basically cost him the game... by putting someone in [Nestor Cortes] who hasn't played meaningful baseball in, in a month.

Duke basketball is back

Duke's back... They beat Arizona State by 50 in a scrimmage... They might be back. God damnit they might be back.

The Patriots should move on from Jerod Mayo after this season

I don't, I think that's unfair to, to coach Mayo to do this year, but I think it's probably smart to move on after the season. ... I think the wheels have completely fallen off.

I still believe I can dunk a basketball by January 1st.

I still think I can do it. I need to lose some weight... I still need like five inches. I'm 180 pounds. I was like 171 pounds in July. So I need to lose some weight basically.

My botched dunk attempts will be 'technical dunks' involving a super-inflated basketball.

The way I'm gonna dunk, even if I am able to do it, it's gonna piss people off because I'm basically going to have a super inflated ball. I'm gonna throw it so that it bounces off the ground. I basically need to perfect bouncing a ball so that it lands basically bounces and lands in the hoop. I'm going to guide it on the way down. Tap it.

A head coach cannot have a beard as long as Jeff Ulbrich's

I don't think you could have a beard that long as a head coach. I'm just saying in terms of if you're looking at a head coach, like if you're mocking up a head coach, when are you drawing in a massive beard? The beard just doesn't give head coach vibes.

I will not drink alcohol until Thanksgiving to train for my dunk attempt

I'm going. I'm not drinking till Thanksgiving... I'm training every day. It's not something I've like forgot about. Overdrive.

I give Drake Maye a solid B-minus for his first career start.

I'm gonna give Drake Maye a solid B-minus. ... [A] bad interception. ... He did get pressured a lot. He did, you know, get thrown into the fire. But he threw a couple really nice deep balls. A couple mistakes. But it was, it was exciting.

I find myself actually liking LeBron James after watching the 'Starting Five' show on Netflix.

I have been watching, there's a lot episodes, so I'm, I'm not finished with it. But the NBA starting five show on Netflix. ... I do find myself like liking LeBron... He's funny. ... Like he's just, it's just the, he's funny. He's just a big goof.

The Saints will beat the Buccaneers and Spencer Rattler will be the Offensive Rookie of the Year

I like the Saints. I don't... don't overthink Spencer Rattler. Rookie of the Year. Offensive Rookie of the Year. If there's any way he does it he has to start hot. I'm going to bet the Saints this week.

Bob Costas is horrible at broadcasting baseball and should stop

Bob Costas... He just sounded, he's broadcasting the Yankees-Royals series and he sounds horrible... He has all the money. He doesn't need to do it. I don't get why he chooses to do it.

The Patriots should draft Travis Hunter with the number one overall pick

If the season ended today, the mighty New England Patriots would be on the clock... I think you probably got to go with the best player in college football, Travis Hunter. [The scouts] know.

Bronny James is not an NBA-caliber player

Bronny James... he's not an NBA player. It's not going well... everything he was doing was bad. Really, really bad.

Memorial Day is the best weekend of the year

Memorial Day weekend's the best is the best weekend of the year. Hank knows start of the summer.

The 'walls' at Barstool Sports say Christian McCaffrey might retire

The walls at Barstool Sports have been saying... Christopher McCaffrey might retire. Double Achilles tendonitis is not good... he's definitely not gonna play this season.

I still plan to dunk and the steroid decision is coming in the next two weeks

I'm still going gung ho. I still plan to dunk. I'm still training as if I'm going to dunk... the steroid decision is coming in the next two weeks.

Shut Drake Maye down for the entire season to protect him

I hope not [seeing Drake Maye play]. Even in the one drive that he played, he got crushed. When we have an offensive line that can block for him. So not until next year and maybe the year after. Not shut him down, but I, I would not get like, I, I get more scared than excited if he goes in.

The Patriots' offensive line is currently worse than the Bears'

[The Patriots] looked horrible. Their offensive line like looked worse than the Bears. [Jacoby Brissett] never had more than one second to throw. They missed a ton of tackles on defense.

The Celtics are attacking the next title rather than defending the old one

Joe Mazzulla, Celtics coach, was doing an interview and they asked him about how he feels about defending the title and he basically just took down the term forever. He said the phrase 'defending a title' is a very passive-aggressive term. If you look at the animal kingdom, some of the strongest animals don't defend—they're the most aggressive and they attack the most. So we're attacking the title.

Nikocado Avocado's two-year weight loss reveal was a genius strategy

He's been posting videos for the last two years where he's large... then this week he posted a reveal stating that he prerecorded two years worth of mukbangs and has been putting them out periodically and just losing all the weight... this is actually incredible.

Donald Trump did not actually get shot because his ear regenerated too quickly

No, he did not get shot... His ear is fully recovered... Have you seen pictures of his ears? A closeup of his ear currently? Evander Holyfield's ear has not regenerated. Trump is totally fine.

Jacoby Brissett could lead the New England Patriots to eight wins this season

I'm infinitely more excited than I was on Saturday. Infinitely. Because you weren't that excited on Saturday. No, I'm thinking eight, eight wins. Jacoby might get us eight.

Jay-Z picked Kendrick Lamar for the Super Bowl halftime show just to spite Drake

Jay-Z doesn't like Drake. So he basically did the opposite. He took Kendrick. Also, Kendrick Lamar. Yeah. They're just gonna make it to the Drake can never watch a Super Bowl again.

The worst case scenario for the Patriots this year is winning eight games

I think the worst case scenario for the Patriots this year is eight wins. It would be... that would be like, I'm going into the season, we're trying to, we gotta rebuild. If you're gonna rebuild, it starts with the draft. Eight wins wouldn't get us to the playoffs and won't get us a good draft position.

I am not spending 12 hours of my Saturday watching mediocre college football

I'm not locking in my entire 12 hours of a day on Saturday, the only day we're not in the office, to to watch a random ass week one game when there's only like three good ones... Your happiness comes from watching 12 hours of football and watching State Pittsburgh. Your happiness is from golfing. You should do what makes you happy.

Wisconsin quarterback Tyler Van Dyke is not good and shouldn't be starting

Wisconsin's QB is way too old to be playing... he's just not good. He's just old enough where he's like, he's clearly not good enough. He's just like holding on and costing Wisconsin.

I won't get FOMO about Drake Maye sitting because the Patriots are in a rebuilding year

I'm not gonna get FOMO about Drake Maye not starting. Our offensive line's bad. I think our roster's not great. It's okay. It's a rebuilding year. I think you let's embrace it for what it is.

Eastern Michigan +2.5 is a lock because UMass should never be favorites

I saw the one that jumped out: Eastern Michigan plus 2.5. UMass football should never be favorites against anyone.

Boeing should be on a hotter seat

Boeing explodes during maintenance at an Atlanta airport killing two Delta employees. I feel like they should be on a hotter seat. I wish I knew if I was flying on a Boeing or not... allegesly. But don't kill me.

Washington will win the Big 10

Washington Huskies plus 8,000... I'm gonna go with the conference, our local conference. The big 10, little long shot.

The Matthew Judon trade is a loss for the Bears because he chose the Falcons over them

The Patriots gave Matthew Judon the option of which team he wanted to go to. And he chose the Falcons. New England believing the Bears and Falcons were in similar category... Judon obviously picked Atlanta.

The Matthew Judon trade was the best outcome for both the Patriots and Judon

Matthew Judon, that happened the day after we recorded. He did get traded. I mean, he's a little bit older. He wasn't probably gonna resign. I think, but they realize it's probably best for both parties to trade them. So it was good. You know, everybody's happy.

The Washington Huskies are my new official Big 10 team

[My Big 10 team is] the Washington Huskies... because Belichick is a defensive coordinator. Steve Belichick... they combine two of my great loves before games. They've got drinking and then they've sailboats.

Michigan will not be in the top 10 by October 5th

Michigan's nine. But aren't they gonna stink this year? ...They will not be in the top 10 by October 5th. Mark my word.

Matt Kuchar might have been taking a stand against slow play by refusing to finish on Sunday

I did see a golf journalist who had a thread breaking down why he might have been doing it... the group in front of 'em was playing super, super slow all day... maybe he was just trying to set a example of like, the guy should have been playing faster in front of them.