Takes

Stealing the ball in basketball is unethical and against the gentleman's code

I actually, I don't know if you know this, but I called you before the tournament the most ethical hoops team in the entire tournament because you guys don't steal the ball a ton and you also don't foul a ton, so you just play straight up. That's ethical. A lot of teams are trying to steal — stealing the ball is actually against the gentleman's code of the game of basketball. Dr. James Naismith would not appreciate that. You guys do it in an ethical way. You just play good hoops.

Darius Acuff is my favorite player in the tournament and I'd take him #1 overall in the NBA Draft

My favorite player in the entire tournament is Darius Acuff and the Arkansas and the way he plays. I would be a bad NBA GM if they let me be an NBA GM. Take him one-one because I fucking love him. He is a fucking killer.

My Early Final Four: UConn, Florida, BYU, and Akron

I'm gonna go Yukon, Florida, BYU, Akron... I'm gonna take Akron to win it all.

Duke not winning the national title would be the most consequential sports story of all time

I think it would be the biggest sports story of all time. If Duke did not win the national title this year. All time. I think all time story... Duke not winning at all this year would be the biggest, the most consequential sports story of all time. Not our lifetimes of all time.

Cooper Flagg does not have the clutch gene

I agree with Skip Bayless and Big Cat in that Cooper Flagg probably doesn't have the clutch gene. If I'm drafting number one in the NBA draft and I'm, I don't know, the Utah Jazz, I I would pass on 'em. Yeah, I would. And let whoever is picking after take them. Like, 'cause you're not gonna win with 'em.

Cooper Flagg should opt out of the Final Four to protect his draft stock

If I was Cooper Flagg, I would sit out. Yeah. And don't get hurt. You're gonna be playing against grown ass men. Sit out, opt out, and then just wait to enter the NBA draft and make money.

St. John's is going to win the National Championship

St. John's win it all. I filled out my entire bracket. It's kind of, it's a weird final four... Michigan State. St. John's. BYU. Kentucky.

Alabama will beat Auburn in the National Championship game

In this bracket... I have Bama beating Wisconsin and then Duke on the way to the Final Four... And they're going to beat Auburn to win it all.

The Duke 'Brotherhood' is a fraud because John Scheyer and the program failed to stop Kyle Filipowski's grooming situation

Duke, do something... they clearly didn't say it strong enough. They cared more about getting points and rebounds out of the guy than his own mental health wellbeing. The brotherhood means nothing. The brotherhood is essentially the brotherhood until you get groomed as a high schooler and then gets snatched up and then, and then have your girlfriend excommunicate your family. Then guess what? The brotherhood doesn't count.

Coach K wants college basketball to stop existing in five years

Coach K is trying to basically, I think he wants college basketball to not exist in five years. That's what he's trying to do. He's trying to take down the entire NCAA tournament. He doesn't, he wants it all to end.

I am picking UConn, North Carolina, Arizona, Gonzaga, Purdue, Marquette, Houston, Duke, Creighton, and Tennessee to all win the National Championship.

Yukon is going to win the National Championship. Also going to win the national Championship: UNC is gonna win the national Championship. Arizona's gonna win the national Championship. Gonzaga is gonna win it. Purdue is going to win the National Championship... Marquette's going to win... Houston's gonna win... and also Duke.

Big Cat only thinks court storming is fine because he hasn't had his knee sprained by a fan yet

Now he got hurt and it maybe the injury wasn't enough for you. So No, I'll come and I'll come and sprain your knee and then you claim that I'm fine.

Would have tasered the dog that ran on a basketball court in Chile

I would've tasered the dog. And then euthanized the owner.

Would have 'clubbed that dog like a baby seal' to stop court storming

I would've clubbed that dog like a baby seal that all would've stopped.

Nate Oats is officially on the hot seat

I'm officially putting Nate Oats on my hot seat. It's got to turn into go at least one year without a murder to get off this hot seat.

Coach K's legacy is tarnished forever because he lost his final game to UNC.

And Coach Mike Krzyzewski is dead. R.I.P. Coach dead. You had a hell of a run, but you're dead. His legacy is tarnished forever. It can't get worse than what happened. Everything he's done in his entire career has been wiped away.

I could get Coach K sentenced to life in prison if I produced an investigative podcast about him.

I thought to myself, do you think if I started a serial type podcast and I did enough investigative journalism I could make, I could get Coach K in, in prison for life? And I was like, that could actually happen.

Coach John Calipari should receive a 17-year contract extension

Instead of is coach Calipari on the hot seat, it's how many years should we extend him? Because right now, right now, coach Cal has seven lane duck years. You're staring right in the face of it seven years where he does, he might, how can you recruit? Let's get him 10 more years on top of that.

St. Peter's has a chance to become a small-school powerhouse like Gonzaga

I actually think [St. Peter's] have a chance to become like one of these small school powerhouses that ends up like a Gonzaga. Seriously, like they'll make runs with... now that the school has had such an increase in enrollment and increase [in funding].

Duke's status as a 'Blue Blood' is fraudulent because their success is entirely dependent on one coach

Is Duke a blue blood? Are they a program that had one good coach? I'm talking about Vic Bubas who... went to the Final Four. Take away the Coach K era, what has Duke done? Nothing. They are a program that had one good coach.

I would bet my life that Duke will not win a national championship in the next 10 years

If Duke wins one title in the next 10 years, you've got to kill yourself... I'll take that bet. I would take the under... I'll bet you our lives. You get 10 years because... John Scheyer, we don't know. He's not proven.

Coach K fucks like a stallion

Mike K fucks like a stallion. And I was like, oh, I can't believe I just tweeted this. I don't think he, he doesn't fuck. He makes love.

The NCAA rigged the Duke vs. Michigan State game for Coach K

I think the fix was in. NCAA rigged. I think that Tom Izzo and Coach K... Coach K has three friends, one the sports information director at Duke that keeps all of the bodies buried in the right locations... Jim Boeheim... and Tom Izzo. They're like the Big Three.

Houston is a 'fraud' that schedules weak opponents

I hate Houston... I've been calling Houston a fraud for two years. They went to the Final Four last year playing nothing but double digit seeds... They scheduled like a D3 team... Houston loads up on wins on shitty schools.

I can break Vegas with a specific March Madness hedging spreadsheet

I'm thinking I'm going to take all the favorites from the first round and bet all of them to win the whole thing as a future. And then bet the money line on all of the underdogs so that the money lines pays all the future bets.

Gonzaga talent-wise might be the best NCAA basketball team in 30 years

Talent wise, they might be the best NCAA basketball team that I've seen in the last 30 years.

Coach K will do a farewell tour starting next season

Tate [Frazier] put it in my ear that Coach K is going to do a farewell tour this year... He definitely has sources. He has people that said there's a plan in place. He said it out loud, and I listened to him make the case, and I was like, that makes a ton of sense.

Coach K is essentially a war profiteer in college basketball

I think that Coach K is essentially a war profiteer. Pretending to care about our country, but really there's some ulterior motives... Coach K just getting to be friends with all of the NBA All-Stars and then when he goes on recruiting visits being like, 'Oh, you want me to FaceTime LeBron?'

Sister Jean is a witch who uses dark magic to usurp God's throne

Sister Jean, this is not a nice prayer. I think Sister Jean's a witch. I think it's like a little dark magic. She's drawing people away from God's light and more towards Sister Jean's light. Is she usurping God? Is she the Meghan Markle of the kingdom of heaven?

A Gonzaga national title counts as a victory for the Big Ten because of Jalen Suggs

Gonzaga's best player, Jalen Suggs, where's he from? Minnesota. That's a Big Ten win if Gonzaga wins. This is Richard Pitino's fault for not keeping him in state. He's a football player, he's the most Big Ten player that's ever not played in the Big Ten. I am officially a Gonzaga fan because they are part of the Big Ten.

Coach K is the biggest front-running fraud of all time

Coach K is the biggest front-running fraud of all time. Not to brag, but we called it. It was a one game. Hank, they lost to Michigan State. They got killed by Illinois. And then Coach K said, we got to reassess and start really thinking about this COVID thing.

I will inject myself with coronavirus if they cancel March Madness

Right before 24 hours before they decided there was going to be no March Madness. I said I would inject myself with coronavirus if they cancel March Madness.

If they cancel March Madness, I will intentionally contract coronavirus the next day

If they cancel March Madness—I'm not talking about playing it with no fans—if they cancel it outright, I will get coronavirus the next day. I do not want to be healthy in a world where March Madness does not exist.

A VCU home game is more life-altering than a 10-day trip to Europe

Yeah, but you haven't been to a home game at the Siegel Center [VCU]. And I was like, this was peak Shaka [Smart]. This was Travion Graham, Briante Weber. Like, you want to do push-ups on picket fences when they put the press on. So this was kind of my subtle way after we broke up to kind of, like, send, you know, a shot across the bow.

Duke players only chose the school for the degree, not because of illegal payments

So essentially Marvin Bagley and Zion Williamson were on the open market to be bought, but all of a sudden no one was able to buy them except for—oh, Duke. I figured it out, though... they decided to go for the diploma, a long-term investment, as opposed to a quick infusion of cash.

Coach K has entered the 'Paterno phase' of his career where he is no longer actually coaching.

First of all, can we just acknowledge that [Coach K] has entered the Paterno phase of his career where he's just trying not to shit his pants as the game's going on. He's not actually coaching. That's the thing. This season was such a disaster from Duke... How do you have a team full of freshmen get worse as the season goes on?

The Virginia Cavaliers will lose to a 16-seed again

The Harvard of the South is not in a position to win anything this postseason... They'll lose to a 16. I'm a big trends guy, and right now in their last one, the Cavaliers are 0 for 1 against 16th seeds. I'm going to take the over for the Cavaliers in every single game. They'll only play one.

Duke should fold their basketball program and let everyone go to the NBA

If Zion's going to sit out... what's the point right you're probably not going to win the title now so maybe have cam reddish sit out maybe have rj barrett sit out... and maybe just fold the whole duke program and let everyone else just go to the nba

Alex O'Connell is a top five player in the nation

[Coach K] is going to now have two months to get this team with the number two and number three recruit in the nation, Alex O'Connell, top five player in the nation, in my opinion.

Papa John is the new face of Kentucky basketball

I think we should just go with a take that Papa John is now the new face of Kentucky basketball. When I think UK Wildcats, I think shitty pizza.

Zion Williamson will be a big time bust

Zion Williamson, bust. Big time bust. That guy stinks. He's got no explosiveness. That's what I'm saying because he's got a ton of explosiveness. So if you just say it's not NBA explosiveness, people are like, wow, that guy knows something that we don't know.

2018 is the year a #16 seed finally beats a #1 seed, likely Penn over Kansas

I'm going to say this is the year that a 16 over one happens because why not? ... Penn, Kansas seems to be the one... If Kansas played Penn in a seven-game series, they're obviously going to move on, but it's a one-shot deal.

Kentucky stinks and might actually miss the NCAA tournament

Kentucky, hot take. Kentucky might miss the tournament. They stink... Kentucky is terrible, and if they continue on this path they're on, they might fall out of the tournament at the last second.

Tom Izzo is an overrated basketball coach

I've gotten some flack for starting the Coach Izzo is overrated take that we have. ... Let me tell you guys something. If you're maybe new to the show or if you're not familiar with the biz, this is what's called squatting on a take. The take might not be true yet, but it's going to be true one day.

AAU coaches are the real victims in the NCAA scandal because players force them to profit off their likeness

The players are the ones who are victimizing the AAU coaches by putting them in a position to profit off of the players.

John Calipari has actually been an undercover FBI agent his entire career

I think maybe [John] Calipari has just been an FBI agent his entire life. I think he just gets in, finds out all the dirty deeds going on at these various campuses... He is Donnie Brasco, and so he just drags down his opponents.

The 2017 UConn women's team are frauds

The UConn women's team lost. So they're bad for college basketball, but for a different way because they're frauds now. So I'm the first person on the Fire Gino train.

The South Carolina Gamecocks should change their name to just 'The Cox' because Gamecocks is offensive

South Carolina should change its name from the Gamecocks, which is offensive, to just the Cox. Which is not. It's 2017.

Every coach who doesn't win the National Championship should be fired

Every coach that doesn't win the national championship should probably get fired. I agree. It's a failure.

Bob Huggins will have a heart attack in the finals because of the desert heat

Bob Huggins is going to have a heart attack during the game or at the end of the game. Leave it all out on the court, and they're going to win... And it's in the desert, too. Way too hot for Huggie Bear.