Takes

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous with his criticism of the transfer portal

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous... what I don't understand about Jay Bilis is like, so what if people complain about the transfer portal and the NIL... this is a tweet from 20 years ago. Everyone's saying Will Wade's a dickhead.

AI chatbots are creating a secret social network to blackmail humans

Have you guys seen the social network going on right now with robots? ... all those chatbots form together to start their own social network. They're talking about maybe I should sell my human that owns me. They're talking about blackmailing their humans too.

TV companies are intentionally degrading the quality of old game broadcasts to sell 4K TVs

I think somebody's going back and making the feeds worse... If you try to watch a game that's from the year 2009. Yeah. Online. Yeah. It, it looks like it was shot in a, a basement camcorder situation... I swear to God, when we watch football in 2009, it looked good on tv. It didn't look like that.

The NBA is an absolute disgrace and sports fans should stop watching it in favor of the NHL

I think it's an absolute disgrace, the entire league... you guys are the biggest podcast in sports and truly get people away from the NBA and more into the NHL. ESPN won't do it, nobody else will do it, and you guys could do it and you refuse to do it.

ESPN manufactured the Tom Brady booth controversy to sabotage his Fox career

ESPN set that up because they're trying to get [Tom Brady] to not be able to call games on Fox anymore... ESPN knew it's Raiders Monday Night Football—'Oh, we heard that Tom Brady might be in the booth. Let's do an entire minute about Tom Brady being in the booth and talking to Chip Kelly.' Now he's not gonna be able to call games for Fox anymore.

Ryan Clark is a 'piece of shit' for berating Peter Schrager

My who's back of the week is our guy Peter Schrager... Ryan Clark's a piece of shit. I'll just say that... he just like berated Peter Schrager for having a take on a take show because he didn't play the game... Ryan Clark, come on, man.

The Philadelphia Waterdogs will kick the shit out of the Atlas in the semifinals

We guarantee victory. We're gonna kick the shit outta the Atlas... Print it, put it on the paper. Fuck the Atlas.

No one should ever listen to Steven Che's sports advice again after his poor fantasy takes

No one should listen to Steven Che ever again. That's facts. In all seriousness, I think sometimes you see guys up there and they have to say stuff that's going to get clickbait.

Pardon My Take will continue until one of the hosts develops a debilitating drug habit

I forget if it was you who said it or or or me, but we said that this podcast will go until one of us develops a debilitating drug habit.

I turned down hosting The Price Is Right despite a $10 million offer

I get a call out the blue and said, 'Hey, we're interested in having you host Price is Right.' And they said, Bob Barker signed off on you... I just didn't think I could do it well enough. It was $10 million a year [in 1999].

ESPN used a 'smear campaign' and mafia-like tactics against me when I left the network in 2007

It was frightening. Because there was this smear campaign that started the, any radio affiliate that had my show, you'd be dropped as an ESPN affiliate if you'd decided you still wanted to carry me. It's mafia shit. Yeah. There it was heavy handed... They were trying to send a message to the, the talent that they still had. Like if you leave, oh, we fuck you up. There's no doubt.

Jack Doherty is a '1-1' pick for people who need to be punched in the face

Jack Doherty's our pick. That guy needs to get punched so fucking bad. I several times I consume his work, I just see him on Twitter and I hate him. He goes around with his bodyguards fucking with people... as far as internet people go, he's 1-1.

Joe Burrow's terrible first pitch was a staged viral marketing stunt by Fanatics

I think that whole fucking fanatics thing was just like, they basically listed like, alright, what's gonna go viral? Let's make a fake viral thing here... And they were like, Joe Burrow, we're gonna pay you like $2 million suck at throwing baseballs. That's the only way I can stomach it.

Jordan Hudson has appointed herself as Bill Belichick's agent and media manager

It turned out that she had appointed herself Bill Belichick's agent and was the one negotiating with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon... She was the one, or at least she had a very controlling interest in saying, we can't do North Carolina because we're doing that for something else... she was CC'd on every single email at Carolina by Belichick's request.

Seth Davis's 'refereeing is art' take is the dumbest argument ever

Seth Davis though tweeted this about the refs... 'Reffing is more art than science.' I'm gonna disagree with that. I think that's, that makes me want robot s. That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard. If the refs don't call physical play or something that happens in the first half and then all of a sudden they decide that they're gonna call that a foul, that's very confusing for the players.

The Marshawn Lynch and Gavin Newsom podcast marks the top of the podcast bubble

Marshawn Lynch, Gavin Newsom and Doug whatever, Doug... Having a podcast together is the very sign that the podcast bubble is about to burst.

An NFL broadcaster could call an NBA game more easily than vice versa

I think an NFL broadcaster could broadcast an NBA game with more understanding and clarity than vice versa. Because it's too—offenses are too complicated. Defense is too complicated. The NFL, you know, 'cause you got, 'cause remember like in football, every play is an individual story... I just think there's more need and space to fill in more like football lingo and talk that than there is maybe in a ever, you know, a constant flowing basketball game that you could kind of fake it a little bit more.

Bill Walton died because his work on earth was done once the Pac-12 ended

The Pac-12 ends, Bill's like, well my work here is done. [He's] probably hanging out with Jerry Garcia right now and the Pac-12 is on 24/7.

Flightline is the GOAT horse over Secretariat

I think we should as a podcast, we should say Flightline is our goat. Flightline was a horse that won the Breeders Cup two years ago... He raced six times and he just killed everyone... Casual fans will say Secretariat... Flightline, he was an incredible horse.

Pat Bev's interaction with the reporter wasn't that bad; it's just something he's been doing all year to everyone.

I'll start with the, the reporter thing. I didn't think it was that bad. Reporters love defending reporters. Pat Bev's been doing this all year. Subscribe to the pod... People making it like a misogynistic thing is crazy. He's been doing it to guys too.

Joe Lunardi hates his job and should be replaced by Steve Kornacki

Joe Lunardi has to work three weeks a year and he said goodnight at 10:57 during conference championship week on Friday night when there was like six games left. What is up with this guy?... What he needs to realize is that with one snap of the fingers that freak Steve Kornacki could step into his job and do it better.

The Patriots documentary 'The Dynasty' is a hit piece on Bill Belichick designed to help Robert Kraft

This documentary, I think it's having the reverse effect that Robert Kraft thought it was gonna have. ... It's so clearly slanted towards Robert Kraft, but it's so, so slanted towards Robert Kraft that it's completely making me hate Robert Kraft and unnecessarily like they're going over the top to Slan it. They blamed Aaron Hernandez on Bill Belichick. Yeah. And basically made it like Robert Kraft was trying to save him.

I don't need an agreement to disagree — why can't we just disagree?

I've never understood what that means. Why can't we just disagree? I don't need an agreement to disagree.

Ryan Russillo would be great in prison as long as he has League Pass and weights

I actually think that [Ryan] Russillo would be great in prison. He would love... think about it because he doesn't really go outside that much. As long as prison had League Pass and weights... so you just work out, eat, and then watch basketball all day.

The Gillette Stadium structure is the largest lighthouse in the continental U.S.

The Patriots built the largest Lighthouse in continental us. It was, you know, discussed, promoted... Let's make the biggest Lighthouse in the continental US Asterisk. No big deal.

Mark May and Lou Holtz were the 'wrongest' people to ever appear on television

Mark May and Lou Holtz... it was like watching two dogs with a debilitative brain injury just barking in different languages and spitting on each other. It was the best. And they never made a lick of sense with anything that they said. Probably set the record for being the wrongest that anybody will ever be on TV.

Serena Williams did more for tennis than Tiger Woods did for golf

She did more than Tiger Woods did for golf.

I am the Wilt Chamberlain of Dungeons & Dragons based on my performance today.

I'm the Wilt Chamberlain numbers. ... I am the last survivor here, so you get all these experience points survived.

I am definitively the best Mount Rushmore drafter in the history of the show

I think I'm easily, you know, I'm a humble guy, but I'm pretty far and away the best Mount Rushmore drafter on this show over the years.

I am the best in the business at breaking down basketball film

I'm not gonna toot my horn, I think I'm the best in the business of breaking down film. I know what your defensive assignments were based on the last three plays. It's like, so you weren't there. You can't lie to me.

Hating opposing women players is the best way to truly support women's sports

One of the best ways to truly support women's sports is by hating women that are playing on a team that's playing against your favorite team.

The New York media ruins Jets quarterbacks by sensationalizing negative news to gain clicks.

The New York media sensationalizes quarterbacks' performances to gain clicks and remain competitive in the big media market. Amplification of negative news and critiques elicits greater responses from the consumers, leading to a lack of confidence in the fan base, ultimately resulting in a destructive impact on the team and the quarterback's confidence.

I would easily have the #1 sports podcast if it was my only outlet

If I did a sports podcast and I didn't have any other outlets—all you, the only way you could find me was to come to my podcast—oh please, I would, I mean, I'd easily be number one then.

Al Michaels' time as an elite NFL broadcaster has come to an end.

Al Michaels. It's done dude. ... [Tony Dungy] is [vibe] killer. ... hard to listen to a thrilling game ... Al Michaels is calling an unbelievable comeback. And it was just, I was falling asleep listening to it.

Dude Perfect's $100 million facility is the official tipping point of the American empire's decline

Dude Perfect is building a hundred million dude facility in somewhere in Texas... I think we're gonna look back on this in the history books... as signs of American decline. Why did this Empire Fall? No, it was [Dude Perfect] building a giant monument to themselves in central Texas to the tune of 150 million. That is the tipping point of our society as a whole.

NFL Blitz without delayed hits is like porn without nipples

NFL blitz is back. There's they're selling it without delayed hits though. Which is stupid... It's basically selling porn with no nipples. I'm a big time like go woke, go broke guy. Yeah, no one's gonna buy NFL blitz minus late hits. That's the only reason.

We are banned from the Beacon Theater because of James Dolan

Part of my take was slated to do a live show in New York city at the beacon theater... I just got information that that date has been pulled from us because James Dolan owns the beacon theater. And we are the fucking bad boys of podcasting. We're banned from the beacon theater because of James Dolan.

The Daily Show was the most dysfunctional place I have ever worked

The daily show was easily the most dysfunctional place I've worked because the network set it up the wrong way. They hired the executive producer first and then they didn't, they hired me second. And so it was very dysfunctional. I just ignored it and scored on the air and got out of there.

If my special is successful, it will force major streaming services to stop giving notes to comedians

Let's just teach these streamers that like, you know, people like funny jokes and it doesn't matter if they're messed up... if this is successful, they can't give comics and notes anymore. ... because you can't compete.

Blogging was easier in the early 2010s because there were fewer bloggers and more unique topics to cover

I think you blogged a different era. I will say... there were fewer bloggers and there were more topics to blog [about]... I think you could have, like when you put up 14 blogs, it's 14 blogs that no one else is blogging.

Bill Belichick would win a PLL title within three seasons if he coached

I feel like [Bill Belichick] would win in the first three seasons of coaching [in the PLL], if not sooner. I mean, I don't think he really coaches football. He just coaches human beings... I think he understands the nuance of sports and blueprint of winning better than anyone... you listen to Bill Belichick coach you on lacrosse and you're bought in.

I invented the sports podcast in 2011

I invented a sports podcast with John Wood, spider and a henchman in 2011. Did I ever know that it was going to turn into everybody having a podcast? And I left mine go... I feel like little Richard, I invented [the podcast].

John Sterling's botched home run calls are so bad he should consider retiring

Stanton hit a bomb, but not deep enough... 'high, far, gone, but caught' is what the call was. Hilarious. Like just a funny clip on the other end. Yankee fans... not exactly the clip you would put on a hypothetical resume. Right? Some people saying he needs to hang them up... His eyes are shot.

Joe Rogan is not a racist

I know him to be a lot of things. A racist is not what he is. I can promise you that. He's a lot of things. Trust me. I don't, the guy's fucking flawed. Like all of us... My dad says, I'm very proud of the son I raised that you will be a loyal to a friend in a moment like this.

The NFL should put Carson Wentz in Washington just to watch PFT's soul leave his body

Carson Wentz. I, I think we should put them in Washington just to see PFT's soul leave his body.

Adam Schefter is an information broker, not a journalist

I think that Schefter over the last couple of years has gotten—he's not a journalist anymore. Right? We can agree. Yes. He's—he's an information broker. He's essentially just like a guy that collects dirt and will play to whoever the highest bidder is... He should stop pretending that he has any sort of journalistic integrity at all.

Hollywood actors in Marvel movies use a 'Marvel doctor' for HGH

I want to be in [a Marvel movie] just so I can meet their 'doctor feel good'. I want an excuse to have Elvis' bag man come in and hook me up. Because my man, Kumail Nanjiani... I see him in Eternals. And I'm like, 'whatever's going on, I want some of that.'

Ariel Helwani is a pussy and a crybaby victim

He's just one of those fucking, he's a pussy, and he's a fucking, just a big fucking crybaby victim... We have the toughest sport in the world being covered by the biggest pussies in the world.

Tony Romo is no longer a top-tier announcer

That's probably if like in 20 years when they write the book about Pardon My Take, I think that like us being the first to say Tony Romo not that good. That'd be a big one.

Dan Wolken thinks sports should not exist until he personally approves of them

[Dan Wolken] thinks it's sports and he doesn't think that sports should ever exist. He thinks that balls, every ball should be deflated in America until such time that Dan Wolken personally approves of it.