Takes

17 NFL teams will be playing in domes within the next 10 years

Seventeen teams are gonna be playing in domes within the next 10 years. The way things are currently going, the Chiefs are moving into a dome.

The Broncos' wide defensive line alignment gives Josh Allen a free pass to scramble up the middle.

They line up super, super wide and when you line up super wide... it gives Josh Allen free reign to look at the guards, look at the center, figure out where he is gonna go... Josh is a guy who can drop back in a non non scheme anything and just be like, oh, the ends are by me. I'm gonna take what's given to me.

Road teams have a significant advantage in NFL games played on Christmas Day

Remember last year Christmas, the lesson that we learned... you fade the home team because they're doing all the family stuff, eating big meals on Christmas Eve. The road team has the advantage on Christmas Day.

Joe Burrow has started eight games in the last year and is 8-0 as a starter

In the last 12 months, Joe Burrow has started... He is eight and oh as a starter in the last calendar year. Since this date, December 2nd, the last 367 days.

Sam Darnold is 10-0 straight up in his career as a favorite of six points or more

Sam Darnold has been a favorite of six points or more 10 times as a starter in the NFL. He's 10 and oh straight up, eight and two against the spread in those games.

The current Seahawks defense is playing better than the Legion of Boom did in any seven-game stretch

The Seahawks defense in terms of... a seven-game stretch, they have actually played better in a seven-game stretch this year than the best seven-game stretch of the Legion of Boom.

I could still hit 4 home runs in a full MLB season today

Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do too... maybe I do have a chance. I would just need a couple ambulances. 'Cause after the games, I'm gonna have to like going to take care of my body.

Terry McLaurin might be having financial problems because of a house lien

Did you guys see that there was a report that Terry McLaurin had a lien out on his house? ... I would say that there might be more to this story that's coming out. If you give 23 year olds $10 million, guess what? They're probably not gonna have $10 million when they're 30.

Carson Wentz suffered a dislocated shoulder or labrum injury on TNF

I'm gonna speculate that [Carson Wentz] had some sort of dislocated shoulder issue. Maybe a labrum. Maybe rotator cuff. And it wasn't staying in place and it just kept getting popped out over and over and over again.

Mason Graham is currently the NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year

Mason Graham is probably the defensive rookie of the year right now, I would say... he's got a 43% pass rush win rate against the Packers... for a defensive tackle, it's crazy.

CJ Stroud is secretly injured and that is why he is playing poorly

Is CJ Stroud hurt? Ooh, I don't know... remember he was having shoulder problems. And they said he's not having surgery, which is not what you want to hear unprompted going into a season... surgery just gets mentioned... he's been bad. Hard. He's been bad. Yeah. And I, I have no idea if he's hurt or not, but it seems like there's something that's fucked up about it.

Matthew Stafford will be 6th all-time in passing yards by the end of the year

Matthew Stafford also reached 60,000 yards. He's now 10th all time in yards... If he has 3,600 yards this year, he's gonna end end the season sixth all time.

The Cincinnati Reds have an illegally flat pitching mound to gain an advantage

Cincinnati's tough. That mound is so flat. I know they're supposed to have regulations on how high the mound is, but whatever they're doing, they're cheating for sure. Because it's way lower. Our mound at home feels like a mountain compared to Cincinnati.

I can eat two gallons of soft-serve ice cream in eight minutes

I'm thinking close to, close to two gallons worth. It'd be, it'd be like, so I did an ice cream contest and after the contest I was like shivering because I was so, like, it was like everything was cold. So I, I think close to two gallons would be in, in about eight minutes.

Florida is the favorite and Toronto is the least likely to win the Stanley Cup among the final eight teams

Florida one. Dallas two. Vegas three. Washington four Edmonton five... Winnipeg six, Carolina seven. [Leafs?] Leafs eights perfect. You what? I guys I can admit Edmonton's an underdog here. And they get through Vegas and, and, and, and I come back on like if they beat Vegas, they're number one.

Statistically, you must be in the top six after the first round of the Masters to have a real chance to win

Trent was saying that like, statistically speaking, you basically have to be top six after the first round. Like anyone past that is not eliminated, but almost eliminated.

This phone in my hand is the one I used to tweet that Miles Garrett committed assault

I really believe that this is the assault phone. It would be my honor to give you this phone... You can hang it on the wall.

The United States is currently the best hockey country in the world

Guess what? We're the best fucking country in the world in hockey... until Canada, until Canada to be on Thursday. We right now as of the second we're still the best hockey country in the world. We got the cup. They're not getting it back.

Fifty percent of professional Dungeons and Dragons clients are Pardon My Take fans

I love running games for AWLs. I think at this point 50% of my clients are like AWLs. I mean it's so rad because what I do is now that I've run Forge of Fury, I've been running another adventure for them.

Kellen Moore and Dion Sanders are square in contention for the Cowboys job

Kellen Moore is a logical name because he fits there... Dion Sanders, if that's the way Jerry wants to go, square in contention. I would just say Kellen Moore square in contention, Dion Sanders, if that's the way Jerry wants to go, square in contention.

Mike Evans is a lock for the Hall of Fame and could finish top five all-time in touchdowns

Mike Evans... is gonna go down like top five six in touchdowns and receiving yards. He's just so consistently awesome. Mike Evans deserves all the credit in that respect.

The Tasmanian Tiger is likely not extinct and lives in Papua New Guinea

The one that sits on the top reign supreme is an animal called a Thylacine. Tasmanian tiger... it managed to get a pilot and get picked up and turned into a series... because it used to range like 4,000 years ago... there are still ongoing reports from tribes and villages of striped dogs and all these things in Papua New Guinea. That's the area that I think needs the biggest exposure.

I can chug a beer faster than Taylor Lewan

I can chug faster than Taylor... [Lewan] put it down in like 3.8 seconds... the boot? ... I can't [do] that. One beer. [But] I beat Dana Beers too.

Tiger Woods definitely used HGH to come back from his injuries

Tiger If you ever wanna come on the podcast... did Tiger ever do do steroids? You think I Why doesn't it get talked about though? ... He definitely, it's just out of respect for him. Is it, is it deference? He definitely used it to come back from stuff for sure. ... I think he without a doubt a hundred percent used HGH to come back from injuries.

The 2024 draft class has 10-12 second-contract caliber wide receivers

I was strict with it. So you can, you can extrapolate this beyond this, but like a con—like my confidence level's high. Wide receivers, 10 to 12 of them. Wow. Like there's 10 to 12 that I feel pretty confident they're gonna, they're second contract, same team, commit to 'em type players.

I can throw a football over 70 yards

How far can you throw a football? [Jayden Daniels:] Honestly? Probably over 70... on a good day.

Tyreek Hill will become a porn star after he retires from the NFL

Tyreek Hill... came out today and said that when he retires he wants to just kind of get outta the limelight and enjoys retirement in peace and also be a porn star. I would watch.

Baby Gronk's football career will not go past high school without elite size and speed

If baby Gronk isn't big and fast and, and and tall enough, it doesn't matter if he's really, really good, just like you said, like it, it won't matter. It, his career will, will not go any further than, than high school football because that's just how football works.

I can still bench press 225 pounds for 27 reps today

225. If I was to do it right now. Yeah, I could probably right now today get like 27.

The Buffalo Bills winning a Super Bowl would be the biggest merchandise market for Fanatics

What you generally look for is teams with great heritage that haven't won for a long time. The Buffalo Bills would be spectacular for business. Because they have great heritage... think about everyone who grew up in Buffalo who has any connectivity in Buffalo. Every one of them would buy $500 in merchandise.

My 83-year-old father can bench press 225 pounds

Poolside [Mark's dad] is still 83 years old. I betcha he could get a couple reps with 225. 83 years old, 225... The dude is like, he'll send a picture... he's on top of a ladder on the front end loader at 83 years old, fixing a light bulb.

Jeffrey Epstein was definitely a CIA asset running a honey pot operation

I'm fully, I have Alex Jones myself on, on the whole Epstein situation because I know if you, if you connect all the dots, the dude was working for the CIA. ... He cultivated all these different networks of people... befriending the most powerful people in the world got them in a honey pot operation... And he was working for the CIA as well on their payroll.

I can reach 90 hot dogs in 10 minutes if someone pushes me

The best way for me to get to 90 hot dogs would be somebody else eating 88... that's how you make some gains... the most I've ever eaten in in 10 minute practice is 82.

The first person to live to 200 years old has already been born

They think the first person to live to 200 has already been born. There have been studies that have been done. No, Big Cat, you didn't read the studies that I read.

Gillie Da King could run a sub-5.0 second 40-yard dash

I think he could break a five-flat 40. I really do.

Winning the Masters will eventually be worth over $1 billion to Hideki Matsuyama

Andy North kept saying to me, you cannot comprehend the amount of pressure that's on this young man's shoulders... He's like, this is worth a billion dollars to him... This guy's 29 years old. He's got to have, you know, give him 40 years of being able to be, I'm the Masters champion in Japan. He's like, you could be a nine figure a year guy... David Duval... told me this morning, he goes, look, that's not, that's not crazy at all. He said, it might be conservative.

The NBA's consideration of expansion to Seattle is primarily driven by the need for billions in expansion fees

The truth is they need money. And if they expand again, it's about a billion dollars a franchise... They're talking about, 'Oh, should we put more Jersey patches on stuff like that to make up the extra revenue they're not getting from ticket sales?' The Seattle SuperSonics coming back, that would be a hell of a Jersey patch. You would definitely rake in the cash.

Jake Paul is lying about being 6'1" and is actually 5'9"

Jake Paul is lying about his height. He's listed at 6'1", but is really 5'9". And I put a picture of Jake Paul who wore a headdress in his face-off with Nate Robinson to show that he's not actually the same height... He's shorter than KSI, who is listed as 5'9".

I am one of the best in the world at predicting Dave Portnoy's pizza review scores

I feel like I'm one of the best in the world at predicting what Dave is going to rate a pizza... I'm nasty like it's just it's crazy. Like I picked this so many times... I would put money up if we want to do that one day.

I can swim 100 yards underwater and hold my breath for 5 minutes

[Billy Football's question] was how far can you swim underwater... 100 yards. You can? Yeah. [And] how long can you stay underwater if you're not moving? I don't know. Maybe around five minutes.

I could break 100 on the golf course playing left-handed

I don't know if I broke a hundred, that'd be pretty good. I'd be happy, pretty satisfied... I can hit it pretty far. I think I hit it like the driver... somewhere, I mean the guy hit it like 300 yards [left-handed].

Billy Mitchell is an assistant who talks in the third person to reporters

Shawn Jones is definitely Billy, right? Talking the third person. That's absolutely it's an assistant that Billy made up like Trump made up John Baron back in the 80s to like talk to reporters and shit.

Climate change will cause the earth to fry in the next 100 years

Climate change is real and the earth is basically going to fry in the next hundred years... Or less. For sure going to happen.

Human civilization is highly likely to end by the year 2050

So good old science came out with a report today, and it said that it's highly likely that human civilization will end in 2050.

Larry Fitzgerald is a 100% lock for the first-ballot Hall of Fame

There's never been more of a lock for Hall of Fame than Larry Fitzgerald. He will be 100% first vote.

I would take a catch challenge against any mortal because my hands are still elite

My hands are still very, very good. I'm willing to get in any type of catch challenge with any mortal.

I could beat a grizzly bear in a hot dog eating competition

Michael Phelps is racing against a great white shark. Can Joey Chestnut beat a grizzly bear in a hot dog eating competition? [Joey Chestnut]: Yeah, I could do it... I think I have the capacity to do it. I think the bear would start to wonder what's going on.

Louisville has scored 69 points more than any other program in tournament history

Louisville has scored 69 points in NCAA tournament more than any other program in the country... I swear to God, that's a fact. And then it gets even better... the program that has won the most games in college basketball history that has never scored 69 in the tournament is BYU.

Urban Meyer buys fake Twitter followers

Jim Harbaugh and Urban Meyer, I guess, are buying fake followers. I would definitely think Urban Meyer is buying fake followers. Jim Harbaugh, someone in the Michigan office is doing that. Urban Meyer definitely – I mean like I said, he fakes other things.

I can chug a gallon of milk and run a mile in 10 minutes

[PFT asks if he could do the milk mile] Yeah, I could do that. I wouldn't run that quickly, but I'd probably finish right about 10 minutes.