Takes

Jeff Bezos is still interested in buying the Celtics despite reports to the contrary

I'm gonna dispute that report and say [Jeff Bezos] is not done [being interested]. He probably wants to buy a football team... but if you're a billionaire like Bezos, it's probably easier to buy a team that's not in complete disrepair and take that over like the Celtics. You've got a winner, a proven winner already. So I'm gonna dispute that report and say he's not done.

You shouldn't stop printing money; you should print even more to solve inflation

You gotta go through the wall. So like when you're like, oh we printed so much money that it doesn't like it's not worth anything. That's when you print even more money. Right. You can't quit printing money. You gotta be committed to printing the money.

I earn $150,000 per episode of Pardon My Take

$75,000. But actually that was three years ago. We make 150,000. Literally the truth.

Boeing whistleblower John Barnett did not commit suicide

There was a whistleblower... John Barnett... His body was found the morning of three nine dead. He was allegedly from suicide even though he told his family, if I die, it's not suicide. He was suicided.

Russell Wilson has done more net damage to the Subway brand than Jared

Who do you think is a worst spokesperson for Subway in terms of Sales Jared or Russell Wilson?... I think like the net net damage to the brand. Probably Russell Wilson.

Shiba Inu cryptocurrency will eventually go back up

I get them to get back on the Shiba Inu train, man. I mean, it's last summer. I think he got some hype earlier this year, but it's always going to come back up. Stocking crypto only goes up as we all know, you're gonna, you're gonna make a lot of money.

Tesla is the only electric car company

They're the only electric car company actually.

5G radars will ground all US air travel

Turns out a bunch of the airline CEOs said that the new 5G radars that are getting put on for telecommunications, once they get turned on, it's going to affect a bunch of their planes landing. And that they're going to have to ground all US air travel tomorrow.

NFTs are becoming more valuable than diamonds

Turns out there's a bunch of new diamonds that are fake, but no one can tell the difference... De Beers is totally panicking because now diamonds have no value. So Hot Seat: Diamond... NFTs are kind of more valuable than diamonds, I think about it.

Money launderers finding NBA Top Shot is actually a good thing for the market

I actually think that the money launderers finding Top Shot is a great thing. It's perfect because now that's injecting a whole new level of cash into it.

I am either going to prison or becoming a billionaire because of Pi Network

Either I'm going to go to jail because this is all illegal, which I don't think it is, or I'm going to make a ton of money. It's speculative value. Either I'm going to go to prison or be a billionaire.

Blockbuster stock is going to make me a millionaire

Blockbuster, bro. It was one cent when I talked about it last time. It is now seven cents. What? Let's go. I called it. Billy is a Blockbuster millionaire.

Wall Street will eventually make it illegal to talk about stocks online once they realize message boards are too powerful

What will probably happen is there's going to be one hedge fund that goes out of business like Bear Stearns or whatever and then they're going to come back, rewrite the laws so it's going to be illegal to talk about stocks online and then boom now they're fucking you again for the next hundred years.

A parlay strategy involving five underdogs has a 50% likelihood of profit

I plugged in 32 outcomes, and then once each outcome happens, you see how much money you stand on winning in that moment... this actually has a 50% likelihood of being positive.

The US should implement a $1,000 stimulus check every two weeks for a couple of months

The idea of thousand dollar stimulus every two weeks... when people have money to spend we can boost up the economy... That's not a long-term solution... but if you do it every two weeks for a couple months and you also make it you have to spend it or lose it... that puts money into the economy that has a multiplier effect.

I am developing an app to crowdsource the 'vibe' and gender ratio of bars in real-time

I have developed an idea for a Marketplace that will get information from producers to consumers in The Nightlife and entertainment industry. It would crowdsource information real time from people on the street going to a bar or a restaurant... You basically just get demographics to go where you want... how many dudes are at the bar right now?

Flavored 'Water for Dogs' is a billion-dollar business idea

I came up with a billion dollar idea maybe quadrillion or trillion dollar idea: its water for dogs... why not a little flavored water for your dog? So you can either go with the Savory option and have it be like a bacon flavored water or bone broth water.

Big Baller Brand is worth over one billion dollars

The net worth of big baller brand is estimated to be over 1 billion dollars... what's it worth? why everybody knows it's worth a billion. Why do you think they come at me so hard? Because I know it's worth a billion dollars.

The drop in oil futures is a direct result of Shell oil getting 'woke' for International Women's Day.

International Women's Day today... we talked about Shell oil is now 'She-ll' and now oil is down. So you have to wonder is there a link between that did Shell get too woke and take our eye off the bottom line of their business and now oil futures are down 30%?

Steven Seagal can't be arrested for fraud because Bitcoin 2 Gen was obviously a pyramid scheme

I don't think that Steven Seagal is off the hook on this one because you can't get arrested for fraud If the product is called this is literally fraud, right? So he's very open about how fraudulent Bitcoin to Jin was. So it's not like it's false advertising.

Enron is due for a massive comeback

A little investment tip, Enron. It's bound to bounce back. It has to. It is due.

Elon Musk is just a front for Jeff Bezos

Elon Musk is just a front for Jeff Bezos because his Cybertruck was one of the funniest things I've ever seen... when people talk about Elon Musk doing stupid shit, they forget about Jeff Bezos.

Elon Musk is actually a front for Jeff Bezos

Elon Musk is actually Jeff Bezos. It's his front. So Elon Musk is like we're going to go to Mars... so everyone talks about him and then Jeff Bezos is in the background doing the real shit doing the drones doing all that.

Big Baller Brand is failing because of government regulations

I don't know what the problem was, the big baller brand, because the business plan was solid. They had great spokespeople getting free advertisement all the time. And now they're just relegated to the discount rack at Kohl's. Well, not with all this regulation.

Pot Coin will take off in the next six to twelve months

My guys that came up with this idea of PotCoin back in Canada... It's going to take off. I mean, yeah, it's going to take off. I think in the next, say in the next six to 12 months, it should be popping off.

QuadrigaCX CEO Gerald Cotten fake-died in India to steal everyone's Bitcoin

This guy is alive. He has all your Bitcoin. If you have Bitcoin with him, I'm sorry, but he's fake dead and you're shit out of luck. He went to India and now he's dead? That is the best place to die if you're going to fake it. He is whale fucking with John McAfee.

The Bitcoin exchange CEO who reportedly died with the passwords is not actually dead

There's no way he's dead, right? There hasn't been a good fake death in a while... He is living it high with, he's probably fucking whales with John McAfee in wherever the hell they are.

I am shorting the stocks of Bank of America and Sprint due to their terrible customer service.

I'm shorting Bank of America right now, and I'm also going to short Sprint.

Facebook is officially done as a relevant company

I'm calling my shot. I'm going to put the PFT death stake is going into Facebook right now. Wow. They're done. Have you been on Facebook recently? No. It's trash... it's all ants, trolls, and ants.

I want to take out high interest loans to invest in Steven Seagal's Bitcoin 2Gen

I don't want to overreact, but I want to take out some high interest loans just so I can invest them in Steven Seagal's Bitcoin [2Gen]. That's how confident I am in this.

Bitcoin will be worth nothing within a year

The other not-so-optimistic side, I guess, would be that in about six months or a year, [Bitcoin] will be worth nothing... I know you guys don't want to hear that, especially Dan... but who knows what's going to happen with that.

Bitcoin is fake and people should buy land instead

My stardom is land. Bitcoin, currency, it's all fake. You can't see it. Buy something you can see with your own two eyeballs. Buy a plot. Buy an acre. Squat on it.

Bitcoin is the future and will replace physical money

You think that the dollar bill's in your pocket right now? You think they're going to last forever? You think money's going to last forever? Okay, so Bitcoin's the future, baby. There's not going to be money in the future. There's going to be Bitcoin.

Big Baller Brand will corner the market because they're the only shoe company not implicated in the bribery scandal

Big Baller Brand, by being the only shoe company that's not implicated, could have just cornered the market.

Clothing manufacturers and dry cleaners conspire to put 'no dryer' labels on clothes

I think there's a big conspiracy out there. This is probably the big laundromat services of the world. They're basically dry cleaning services. They're basically making clothes that you can't put in the dryer so that you have to go to the dry cleaners.

Elon Musk should stop trying to get to Mars and focus on giving us retina credit cards

Elon Musk, if you're listening to this and we know you are, quit trying to get to Mars, you fucking nerd. Just give us retina credit cards.

If something is more expensive, that means it's better

If something's more expensive, that means it's better, right? Correct. Without a doubt. Like Fyre Fest tickets. That was the best concert of all time.

The Washington Wizards abandoned the Bullets trademark, so it is now open for public use.

I i i would say uh give it a shot [selling Bullets merchandise]... I would say the argument would be they've abandoned it [the trademark]... it makes sense to me.

I would not be buying any stocks right now and would put money into real estate instead

I wouldn't be buying any stock right now. [Put money in] Real estate. Hookers? ... That's a dead end road, dude. I'm over a million in those places. There's no return on anything.

The 200% deposit bonus on BetDSI has to be a typo

We're going to give you a free $10 just for registering and a 200% bonus. That's got to be a typo, but it says it several times. So it's a 200% bonus with your first deposit.

Twitter announced the death of Vine just to get PR and check its importance

It seems like something that a company that was maybe down... they need a little press. What better way to press than announce a death?... they're like, if enough people object to us closing down Vine, then we'll keep it around.

I am 100% innocent of all criminal charges

I'm innocent without a doubt. The charges are related to some hedge funds I operated in a public company I operated. Don't have one person who has ever complained. You won't find one person that ever lost money in these funds.

My company Turing is worth one billion dollars

I don't like to talk about it, but if you look at the company, Turing, that I own, I think that company is worth a billion dollars.

Barstool and Disney/ESPN are closer in value than people think

I'm not saying that Disney and Barstool are, like, maybe equal in terms of stock, but we're closer than people think.

Grit Coins are my own electronic currency and are legal tender in many states

Grit coins... That's my currency that I made my own electronic currency. Well, somebody actually, someone else designed it for me, but yeah, those are actually legal tender in many states.