Takes

AI chatbots are creating a secret social network to blackmail humans

Have you guys seen the social network going on right now with robots? ... all those chatbots form together to start their own social network. They're talking about maybe I should sell my human that owns me. They're talking about blackmailing their humans too.

I turned down hosting The Price Is Right despite a $10 million offer

I get a call out the blue and said, 'Hey, we're interested in having you host Price is Right.' And they said, Bob Barker signed off on you... I just didn't think I could do it well enough. It was $10 million a year [in 1999].

Jordan Hudson has appointed herself as Bill Belichick's agent and media manager

It turned out that she had appointed herself Bill Belichick's agent and was the one negotiating with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon... She was the one, or at least she had a very controlling interest in saying, we can't do North Carolina because we're doing that for something else... she was CC'd on every single email at Carolina by Belichick's request.

Jim Nantz's wallet toast card was actually a prank on a reporter

So the card is a prank, but he does like his Toast Nantz style... Nantz ordered his special brand of toast... I made sure the reporter saw the card and when he asked about it, I said, well that card has saved me a lot of hours.

Adam Schefter is one of the few media members you can actually trust with off-the-record information

Adam and I actually are close... he's one of the media members you can actually trust that if it's off the record, it's not going anywhere. Like he actually will keep it close to the vest.

Jalen Brown's necklace bio-streams caffeine and melatonin into the body digitally

It's caffeine and a necklace... use its patented technology to bio stream compounds like caffeine and melatonin digitally without you having to ingest them... happy tiny magnetic songs naturally stimulate bio receptors and cell to recreate the same sensations without side effects... 25 blends are available... simply choose the blend you'd like to play. And happy does the rest.

Baldur's Gate 3 is currently bigger than Dungeons & Dragons itself

I'd say [Baldur's Gate 3] is bigger than D&D itself right now. It has won all the awards. It has become this huge video game and it's all based off of the D&D rules. It's the best job they've done taking the game we know and love and turning it into a video game experience.

I completely bombed my stand-up comedy set

It was just, it was all downhill. I knew it was bad. My dad texted me after he just said, 'you okay'. I was, I was like, I'm, I was like, I'm fine... but even if I prepped a year, you can't, you can't teach public speaking.

Al Michaels hears the social media criticism and thinks it is bullshit

Al hears it. He disagrees with it... Social media is using those two examples [Jacksonville playoff game and Denver game] to just say Al Michaels hates Thursday night, Al Michaels has lost it... He hears the noise, I don't think he's like 'I'll show them'. He has more of an f-you attitude about it. He thinks it's a bunch of bullshit.

I used to make up sideline reports if a coach wouldn't give me anything at halftime

I would make up the report sometimes because A, the coach wouldn't come out at halftime or it was too late and I was like, I didn't wanna screw up the report. So I was like, I'm just gonna make this up because first of all, no coach is gonna get mad if I say, Hey we need to kill, stop hurting ourselves. We need to be better on third down.

I failed my own podcast production system by not pressing publish

I was the one who did not press the publish button... The system broke, but the, the system will not break again... My system is that I check before I do the [tweet]. I'll never tweet the tweet without seeing, seeing. It's up on, on Apple... I broke my system.

The Gillette Stadium structure is the largest lighthouse in the continental U.S.

The Patriots built the largest Lighthouse in continental us. It was, you know, discussed, promoted... Let's make the biggest Lighthouse in the continental US Asterisk. No big deal.

The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is the official tallest lighthouse in the US, not the Gillette Stadium one

Per the United States Coast Guard. The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is the official tallest lighthouse in the United States. Not your fucked up Fugazi piece of bullshit [at Gillette Stadium].

I don't think any of the content on Pardon My Take changed while the company was owned by Penn

In terms of the content of this show, I don't think we changed anything. Did we, PFT? ... It's just been how we've talked about gambling, which I understand that was part of the, the rules And it made sense for to, to make sure that we talked about gambling the correct way under pen.

Every group of fans that has played this adventure has successfully finished it.

Every one of the a w l groups who has gone through this adventure has gotten to the end and finished it. But I also told them I wasn't sure if you guys would or not.

I am not moving to Chicago with the rest of the show

I will not be moving to Chicago. Kind of been in denial about it. It sucks to say there are various parts of my life that I keep private that impacted this decision. I hope you guys respect the decision. Please just remember that I am the only one who can weigh all the factors that impact my life.

Barstool Van Talk was going to be a hit TV show

Barstool Van Talk was gonna be a hit TV show. And as I poured over the 18 to 34 demo results of that first episode, that was a hit TV show. So that was the one that got away.

Al Michaels eats a full fine-dining steak meal during the eight-minute halftime of Thursday Night Football

This dude, we get to halftime... He's got like steak, oh like shrimp. He doesn't touch the mashed potatoes but... they got real silverware and they got a plate and then, you know, you only have eight minutes at halftime in the NFL... Headphones are off back behind that screen and they got a table set and it's like fine dining for eight minutes and it's just, you know, he's eating and talking and yeah, it blew me away.

Russell Wilson is identically copying Tom Brady's social media videos

Russell Wilson has just completely ripped off his [Brady's] post game videos like identical. And it was it. I mean, it's so Russ it's so Russ and for doing it for a 16, 9 win against the Texans was even better. Everything was, was exactly identical going from the, the intro, the different cuts, the type of filters, the music.

We are banned from the Beacon Theater because of James Dolan

Part of my take was slated to do a live show in New York city at the beacon theater... I just got information that that date has been pulled from us because James Dolan owns the beacon theater. And we are the fucking bad boys of podcasting. We're banned from the beacon theater because of James Dolan.

Colin Cowherd knows exactly who PMT is and is doing a bit by pretending not to

He is now going on seven years of the running gag of pretending he doesn't know who we are... he described me as a standup comedian, big guy, big physical presence. And I like, at this point I respect Cowherd for doing this because he is so committed to it... for him to pretend he doesn't know what the number one sports podcast is. I actually tip my cap. Like it's funny.

The Daily Show was the most dysfunctional place I have ever worked

The daily show was easily the most dysfunctional place I've worked because the network set it up the wrong way. They hired the executive producer first and then they didn't, they hired me second. And so it was very dysfunctional. I just ignored it and scored on the air and got out of there.

I am the Neil Armstrong of Pac-Man

What's absolutely gorgeous about [the perfect Pac-Man score] is other people can do it. Friends can play, we can learn. We can teach. We can have fun. They can do it. But they're simply repeating what I already did. Right. There's only one man who stepped on the moon first... so it's fun being Neil Armstrong.

Tom Brady's drone-shot hole-in-one video is definitely fake

Tom Brady posted a video... it looks like he hits like a whatever 200 yard hole-in-one. And I saw it and was like, holy shit, this is the greatest shot of all time... and then I watched it a couple more times. It was like, this is clearly the most fake video of all time.

I invented the sports podcast in 2011

I invented a sports podcast with John Wood, spider and a henchman in 2011. Did I ever know that it was going to turn into everybody having a podcast? And I left mine go... I feel like little Richard, I invented [the podcast].

EA Sports FIFA is dead because of the rebranding to EA Sports FC

EA Sports and FIFA are dead. 2023. It's been rebranded as EA Sports FC.

Hollywood actors in Marvel movies use a 'Marvel doctor' for HGH

I want to be in [a Marvel movie] just so I can meet their 'doctor feel good'. I want an excuse to have Elvis' bag man come in and hook me up. Because my man, Kumail Nanjiani... I see him in Eternals. And I'm like, 'whatever's going on, I want some of that.'

Usain Bolt is the greatest sprinter because he's the only one who didn't test positive for steroids

The fastest man, currently the Italian guy Lamont... basically of all the sprinters to break nine seconds, 9 out of the 10 have tested positive or been accused of using steroids except Usain Bolt. [He's] the greatest of all time.

I have successfully beaten 'Old Takes Exposed' by blurring the lines of my seriousness

I think I've beaten old takes exposed. We've blurred the line enough where it's like, I don't know if this I'm going to get roasted for an old takes. If I try to old takes Big Cat on them. Right. He's, he, every single time, it's just like, oh, that's just Big Cat making a joke or trying to jinx one of his bets.

Podcast rankings are misleading; people should check episode rankings for true listener stats

How come some podcasts randomly go higher than you guys in the podcast ranking sometimes? Does that mean they get more listeners? No, it does not. So if you start a new podcast, your podcast is always going to be... It just goes to number one. That's just how it works. The way to realize the success of shows is episodes. So if you go to the episode page, you can see where shows are ranked. Just look at the episodes, bitch.

Tom Brady's 'drunk' tweet and stumble off the boat were a choreographed joke.

I'm very woke about the drunk Tom Brady tweet thing because I think it was on purpose... He was having fun with the fact that people thought he was too hammered to walk after he got off the boat. I think they were doing it as a joke. I think the guys were like, 'hey, let's pretend that Tom, you're so hammered that you can't walk.' Tom Brady has gotten so good at the Internet in the last three years that I think he's fucking with everybody.

Part of My Take is the undisputed number one podcast

Bangers. No matter what. That's just a fact. Pardon My Take is number one... We don't brag because, you know what, when you get to a point where you just don't have to brag because the people know. The real people know. Don't let everyone else try to tell you some other story. Just know what it is and how it's been for basically five years.

Tearing twins apart at birth causes permanent psychological separation anxiety

I think the reason they didn't open up the study is that they realize that by tearing twins apart actually made them crazy. Remember when they said they had separation anxiety? I think that's what they found out... you tear apart two twins they get fucked up from it.

I almost killed off Vinnie Chase in the series finale

I thought about killing Vince to end the show. ... Mark [Wahlberg] sat me down and goes, we're going to make a movie. We're going to make a Broadway show. We're going to make an animated show. You can't fucking kill Vince. So that ultimately was probably the right decision.

The Undertaker vs. Mankind 'Hell in a Cell' included an outer-body experience

I kind of had like an outer-body experience when I threw [Mick Foley] off onto the table is like I could see myself standing up there and I could see Mick Falling and it seemed like it took an eternity for him to hit that table.

The Undertaker would walk slower to the ring if he knew the match was going to be bad

A lot of times that would just depend on my opponent. If I was working with somebody that that was pretty limited... I was like man I got to get I'm gonna get my money's worth out of this entrance. So yeah there there were times that I would take a little bit of extra time because I knew the match is going to be horrible.

Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals will forever be the most-watched NBA game of all time

That game six of the 98 finals with the shot and MJ finishing his career with the Bulls, that will forever be the most watched NBA game of all time. 35.89 million people were watching that game concurrently... It's going to keep getting more and more fractured. That will be the most watched NBA game of all time.

Leroy is retiring from the scoop game

I'd like to pivot [Leroy] out of the breaking news game, put him out to stud, put him out to retire... and then use the account to grade the scoops of actual insiders. Leroy serves as the judge.

ESPN wants Al Michaels and Peyton Manning together in a Super Bowl booth

ABC Disney they on ESPN... They're trying to get Al Michaels... maybe team up with Sheriff Peyton Manning a peg put them in the booth together and make me TV magic happen Okay, so essentially yeah ESPN is trying to get the perfect booth in their minds of Al Michaels and pei-pei together so they can get in the Super Bowl rotation.

NBA ratings are only down on TV because younger fans are cord-cutters

NBA ratings have taken a little bit of a dip totally different right... cord cutters, right? If your shows on television a nobody watch it... our numbers are down primarily on TNT which doesn't have as much carriage and as much linked to younger audiences... our streaming numbers the really really good.

Mike Francesa definitely farted on air

This is well. There's a two parts that he definitely farted. Number one. That's not a question. He then also in like the last play he had he farted on Tuesday and announced his retirement on Wednesday. That's how quickly it happens.

I would return to WWE for $20 to $25 million

I think the conversation would have to start at somewhere like, I don't know, 20, 25 [million].

WWE intentionally fired me on my wedding day out of malice

It's impossible to think that it [firing] was anything but done maliciously and on purpose... they didn't ruin my day... I talk to Triple H two days before that and he was like, hey, let's talk. I was like, can I talk after my honeymoon? My wife worked there. She asked for the day off to get married. So the idea that they didn't know that that was the date and I was getting married is impossible.

Max Kellerman did not create the term 'BOAT'

Max Kellerman keeps talking about how he created the BOAT, and it's pissing me off... I think someone in the Barstool World slash Blake [Bortles] created it, and it's been around for five years now, and the fact that Max Kellerman thinks he just made it up on the spot yesterday is driving me insane.

The secret to the Stone Cold Stunner is doing it in a ring because the concrete has no give

The secret to the stunner is do it in a ring because you got a little bit of give. I hit my damn tailbone [on concrete] and every vertebrae in my back said, fuck you, don't ever do that again. So yeah, it works best inside a ring with a little bit of give.

Pepsi was the sixth largest military power in the world in 1989

In 1989, the cash strapped Soviet Union paid Pepsi with 17 submarines, a cruiser, a frigate and a destroyer in exchange for three billion dollars worth of Pepsi, causing Pepsi to become the sixth largest military power, at least Navy wise, in the world.

Mike Francesa invented the concept of a podcast co-host

He invented co-hosts. Mike Francesa, in addition to Daily Fantasy, has invented co-hosts. My idea.

Adam Schefter is helping Robert Kraft by reporting there is a 'bigger name' in the prostitution sting

Adam Schefter says there's a bigger name involved, and somehow we don't have the bigger name, which leads me to believe that Adam Schefter is doing Robert Kraft a favor by basically sending everyone on a wild goose chase to figure out if Tiger Woods got jerked off.

It is bad luck to say 'good luck' to an actor before a performance.

One thing I will say, because you'll see actors kind of wince if you say it, you're not supposed to say good luck before a performance. That is bad luck to say good luck when you're talking to an actor.

I threatened to quit my HBO show if they didn't let Artie Lange return for the second episode

I said, I'm either going to have Artie on the show for the second one, or I'm not going to do the show. And I quit. I said, not that this is me walking out of the presidency of the United States... But I said, I'm employed at Fox. I'm doing the World Series and the Super Bowl. You don't know me... But if you think I can't laugh at this... I am not going to go out there and act like it didn't happen.