Takes

I was the one who ran Kevin Durant out of Golden State

The one that is probably closest to the truth is I ran [Kevin Durant] out of town... Because I'm not begging anyone for this. I've worked too hard in my life to beg anyone for anything.

Sean McDermott and Joe Brady committed coaching malpractice by running the tush push repeatedly.

What was really bullshit is the fact that Sean McDermott and Joe Brady decided to keep running the same play that the Chiefs were clearly ready for all game. And that was the tush push that they didn't even do correctly. They don't even push. They just rammed Josh Allen in the line. That was coaching malpractice in my eyes.

Caleb Williams should have used his leverage to force the Bears to decide on Matt Eberflus before the draft

If you're a quarterback like Caleb, like Shadur coming out, and you have the power to tell a team, I need you to make a decision on your coach. All I was suggesting he do is say, I need to know what you're doing with the coach. So I don't come into a situation where the structure is bad. And now he's gonna be sitting there second head coach. Third offensive coordinator.

Caitlin Clark is on the 'can't win the big one' list because she never won a title at Iowa

Caitlin Clark can't win the big one. She has not been able to win the big one. She lost... she literally college cannot win the big one and like, I don't know what else you could say about it.

Aaron Rodgers might run for Vice President with RFK Jr.

Aaron Rodgers might run for Vice President... He's being considered and is considering the opportunity right now. Mr. Kennedy confirmed on Tuesday that the two men [Rodgers and Jesse Ventura] were at the top of his list.

The Eagles will lose in the first round of the playoffs

My overly direct take of the weekend is that the Eagles are gonna lose the first round of the playoffs. ... I was watching the defense. Defense wins championships. And the Eagles defense doesn't exist.

Florida State shouldn't automatically be in the playoff just because they are undefeated

The loss of Jordan Travis to me is pretty significant... We live in an era where it's like, okay, they're undefeated, so they're in because they're in a Power five. I just don't do that. I'm really big on the best four teams... If you think Florida State's one of the best teams with Tate Rodemaker, then that's no problem. But I'm just not big on, they're undefeated so we have to put 'em in.

Jordan Love might actually be good

Jordan Love might actually be good. And it's starting to scare me. He might actually be good. And this is the difference between dysfunctional franchises and functional franchises like the Green Bay Packers... I think Jordan Love might be good. And it's starting to worry me. He looked a lot better.

The Yankees should extend both Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman

I think they should extend Aaron Boone. Yeah. I think he's the steady hand and Cashman. I think Aaron Boone is a steady hand that the Yankees need to control their franchise. ... We official vote of confidence as they should extend both of them. Yes.

Philadelphia fans giving Trea Turner a standing ovation is strategic and genius

Philly being the big sports town that they are... rallied together and said instead of booing [Trea Turner], we're going to give him a standing ovation every time he gets to the plate... all of our boos are strategic... that's just like us being a very smart sports town and knowing that.

I am not moving to Chicago with the rest of the show

I will not be moving to Chicago. Kind of been in denial about it. It sucks to say there are various parts of my life that I keep private that impacted this decision. I hope you guys respect the decision. Please just remember that I am the only one who can weigh all the factors that impact my life.

Miami will upset Houston and make the Final Four

Hot Take Miami can beat them. Ooh. And I'm gonna be the one guy that picks Miami to win... Miami is a bad matchup for Houston... I am going to go out on a limb and pick them. Wow. Because I think I, I don't trust Houston's offense.

The 2023 Final Four will have no #1 or #2 seeds

It would not shock me if when we get to Houston for the final four, if there's no one and two seeds in the final four.

Nebraska is going to land the #1 recruit for 2024, Dylan Raiola

I think we're gonna land him. Really? Yeah. Number one recruit 2024. His last name's Raiola... I think ultimately what I'm saying is... in my gut, I think that's the, that's the centerpiece of Nebraska.

Brock Purdy is a better quarterback than Tom Brady right now

Brock, I be honest with you, if you, if you were to take one quarterback right now for the rest of the season, if you were putting together like a stretch run. Yeah. Would you rather have Brock Purdy or Tom Brady right now? ... he is way better than Tom Brady right now. Well, he, Tom Brady stinks right now.

Utah will demolish USC in their upcoming matchup

Utah's going to demolish USC. How you say that? That's just candy ass football versus man football.

Do not draft any Los Angeles Rams players for fantasy football

No Rams, no Rams at all. Not one... I have never met a Rams fan ever until about seven months ago. And it's just at Los Angeles, they're just, it's a town of bandwagons. It just drives me crazy.

Not pulling out is a bad idea

Not pulling out. He's saying not pulling out when you were supposed to pull out. [Big Cat: You're against cream pies?] Billy Football, anti-cream pie.

Oxygen is a universally loved thing

Something we all take for granted... Oxygen. Everyone loves oxygen and especially, hey, we've all been carrying stuff around altitude... If you didn't have oxygen, you would die. Do you love breathing? You want to breathe. If I took you out to the water and drowned you... you gotta succeed as much as you want to breathe.

Nuclear-powered 'air cruises' are fake and would definitely crash

It's a plane cruise. Yeah. It's like a massive, massive, massive, bigger than whatever name like four aircraft carriers... 20 electric engines powered by nuclear fusion. I'm just going to say this. If this is real, I will absolutely laugh when it crashes and everyone dies. There's no way to test fly this until you actually make the real thing.

There will be a quarterback controversy in New England where Bailey Zappe challenges Mac Jones

Maddie. Think about this magic Mack Jones gets benched for Bailey. ... I think there's going to be a court quarterback controversy in new England. That we're is going to actually like really tank them. I'm just saying why they draft Bailey just saying,

Unspayed ferrets will die if they do not get pregnant

Unspayed ferrets will die if they don't get pregnant. Die of stress.

Dan Snyder is finished as an NFL owner because he took money from other owners

I think Dan Snyder has done. I think that motherfucker is done... it's been proven through the other books that have been released now, the documents that have been sent to Congress, that he was taking money out of the pockets of Jerry Jones out of all the other owners. And if there's one thing like you can have 40 sexual harassment claims against you. If you take money from the other owners, that's when they're going to do something about it.

Troy Vincent was the source for the false Deflategate report

We outed the source for Chris Mortensen's report that 11 to 12 footballs were two pounds underinflated... That was false information that was given to him by Troy Vincent from the NFL office. We report that in Playmakers.

I bet my pinky the Indianapolis Colts will not win the Super Bowl

The Indianapolis Colts will not win the Super bowl. And if they do, I'll cut off the tip of my pinky.

Tim Tebow signing with the Jaguars is a 'big joke' and he can't play tight end

This is an interesting signing, and it's a stupid signing. And I will absolutely say that this is a big joke because he can't play. He couldn't play quarterback. He was a terrible quarterback. He hasn't played since 2012. He's going to be 34 years old, and he has no suddenness to his game. He can't play tight end.

I am going to 'skull fuck' Jose Canseco in our fight

I'm going to skull fuck him. ... I'm absolutely going to skull fuck him. No doubt. He's tiny. I mean, yeah, he looks big. He's 270 pounds. But I just care about the frame. He has a smaller frame than I thought.

Drew Brees is the most washed player in NFL history

Drew Brees... I probably think he's the most washed person of all time.

Kliff Kingsbury is a failure who has succeeded solely because he is attractive

Kliff Kingsbury. Are we sure he's good? It's kind of amazing when you look back at Kliff Kingsbury's entire resume and you realize like, oh, attractive people do really run this world. If you are a good looking guy and you can walk into a meeting and wow someone, you can fail upwards all the way. Kliff Kingsbury was 35 and 40 as the head coach at Texas Tech. He had two winning seasons out of six... Kliff Kingsbury, not very good.

I will tattoo Drew Brees' career touchdown total on my arm if the Saints make the Super Bowl

If The New Orleans Saints get to the Super Bowl. I will tattoo the final number of Drew Brees touchdowns for his career somewhere in my arm.

I will get Kevin Durant on the podcast before my 36th birthday

I will say if we don't get Kevin Durant on this podcast in our age of 35, cancel my birthday next year. I'll just stay 35 forever.

Scoring a high amount of points is a curse that prevents winning championships

Scoring points is bad, and you should actually be bad on offense... The 12 highest scoring teams in NFL history have zero championships. Zero. That's good enough for me. Zero championships. Scoring points is bad. You do not want to score points.

The 7th PLL expansion team will be named the Waterdogs

The Waterdogs are going to be the name. I'm excited for it... Go Waterdogs.

Antonio Brown will never play a single game for the Raiders

Here's my take: [Antonio Brown] is not going to ever play a game as a Raider. I think they're either going to cut him. They're probably not going to be able to trade him anywhere.

I use Microsoft Excel for everything, including writing poems and drawing pictures

I do everything in Excel. Everything in Excel. I draw pictures in Excel. Excel is the first thing I learned, and I've stayed with it. I'm a disciple of Excel... You can format the cell and do three to four lines or six. They can overlap. It's a very versatile piece of software.

Bran Stark will become the King of Westeros

Bran comes down from Winterfell, stands up out of his wheelchair, and raises his arms and shows he's the true Night King... but I think it's Bran. But it's Bran just because all the betting sites are like Bran.

Carson Wentz is 'damaged goods' and will get hurt again

I said [to WIP radio], Mahomes, then Goff, then Wentz, because Wentz is damaged goods. And he's got the torn ACL, and he plays with reckless abandon. He's going to get hurt again. That's just the way it is.

Michael Rapoport suing Barstool over herpes allegations will trigger the Streisand effect

Rappaport claims Barstool engaged in a campaign to discredit and embarrass him, including accusing him of having herpes. The actor wants to make it clear in legal documents that he does not have herpes... I would tell everyone to please Google the Streisand effect and then laugh at the whole thing.

I'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs

We'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs. Spread that mayo all over it. Yeah, we'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs.

No two countries with American football have ever gone to war with each other

I sat back. I crunched the numbers. No two countries that have American football have ever gone to war with each other. [Countries like] Mexico. Canada. Canada... they have Canadian football. Yeah, it's the same thing.

Patrick Mahomes would have been the target for the Saints at pick 11 in 2017

Mahomes certainly would have been a target at 11 [in the 2017 NFL Draft]... Mahomes certainly would have been a target at 11.

The Washington Capitals are better this year because they are actually worse than last year

The Washington Capitals, they are better this year because they're actually worse than they were last year, okay? ... The fact that the Capitals are not as good, they're not as deep... It means that they're winning ugly is what I'm getting at. ... we've tried being by far the best team talent-wise. That hasn't worked. So let's give it a shot being a little bit shittier than them.

The Chargers will be the best team to not make the playoffs this season

I'm taking the Chargers, minus four, the best team to not make the playoffs. ... I stand by that. They have an unbelievable pass rush. Phil Rivers, they almost win every single game. They're going to be the best team that doesn't make the playoffs.

LeBron James moving to the Lakers is just him copying my move to LA

I love Ohio. A lot of people say that. But when LeBron leaves Ohio for L.A., he's going to be copying me. I'm just getting out ahead of it a little bit. I'm the first person to ever move from the Midwest to Los Angeles for career opportunities.

Bryce Harper will eventually sign with the Philadelphia Phillies

If you were to ask me straight up, [Harper goes to] Philadelphia. Philadelphia... Because it's 212 feet to right field, 279 to center, and 175 feet to left. So he's thinking Hall of Fame... Where can I hit 700 home runs? Philadelphia.

Legalized gambling will be available across the country in five years.

Football in Vegas, I'm saying, calling your shot five years, say five years, legalized gambling all across the country, it's going to be great.

Tom Brady will play three more years, likely until he is 45 or 46

How many more years do you think Tom Brady plays? Three. His dad, Tom Sr. and Tom, I think it's 45, 46, realistically. I don't know how long that body can end up.

I hope Nyquist the horse dies

I now am fascinated with Nyquist the horse... I hope Nyquist dies. I'll say it. Biggest piece of shit horse. And you know what, Nyquist? That's your horse owner's fault for running a shitty Twitter account. I wouldn't have wished death on you if you just had a semi-normal person running her Twitter account.

The Green Bay Packers drafted a serial killer and he's the biggest bust in NFL history

People forget that the Green Bay Packers drafted a serial killer. In 1974, they drafted a legit serial killer. His name is Randy Woodfield... Would you say he's like the biggest bust in NFL draft history?

Greg Maddux was a sick individual in the clubhouse who used teammates' clothes to clean himself

He [Greg Maddux] was a sick individual to say the least. You know, there was nothing that was off limits for Greg. You know, he wasn't opposed to going into somebody's locker and grabbing a piece of piece of clothing and using it to clean himself in various ways and things of that nature.