Takes

Pool water isn't actually blue; the lining is white and the water is clear

No, the water's clear... I think the walls, the walls are white, the bottom's white and the water's clear... This is the hill I'm dying on right now. The teas were definitely black... the water is clear and the lining of the pool was white.

An Oreo is a frosting sandwich, not a cookie

If you took an Oreo and took, you know, the top part off, that single black chip is a cookie... What do you think Oreos are cookies? It's a frosting sandwich.

Phil Kessel will celebrate a Stanley Cup win by eating whatever he wants all summer, possibly filling the Cup with queso or hot dog water

Phil Kessel, though, you think he eats now. If he's a Stanley Cup champion, you can eat whatever you want for the rest of the summer... I wouldn't be shocked if that was a story that came out in a couple months or, like I said, just some hot dogs. Like some good old hot dog water and some boiled hot dogs.

Hot water, lemon juice, honey, and Tylenol is an effective strategy for treating COVID-19

I'm recommending also hot green tea, lemon juice, and honey three times a day because the hot water washes down the virus... and if they have a fever give them Tylenol anyway, that's all I have to say.

Teddy Bridgewater can't throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field

I don't think Teddy Bridgewater can throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. So I like that under.

The Broncos will be a profitable betting team because of Teddy Bridgewater's stability

This team, the Broncos this year will be a bet on team for me because Teddy Bridgewater is perfect for Vic Fangio's defense like a quarterback that's not going to make mistakes, not going to lose you the game. Let the defense win you the game.

Teddy Bridgewater's injury is actually a positive for Vikings fans because it removes the stress of expectations

I mean, right off the bat, it's kind of nice. You don't have to get your hopes up. It's vacation season for Vikings fans. Like, you know, just relax. Take your shoes up. You don't have to stress yourself out during the games. You get to kind of take it easy.

Teddy Bridgewater is simply a winning quarterback and one of the best in the NFL right now

I went and looked it up of the active quarterbacks in the NFL right now for 40 minimum starts best winning percentage Patrick Mahomes 1 Tom Brady 2 Russell Wilson 3 Ben Roethlisberger 4 Aaron Rodgers 5, Teddy Bridgewater 6... All he does is win and all he does is a win as an underdog. He's 12 and 10 straight up as an underdog.

Deshaun Watson should not be allowed to play in 2022 until the civil suits are resolved

I'm about ready to say, like I've seen enough and that I feel like Deshaun Watson should not be allowed to play this year until, until they figure out what's going to happen with the civil suits, because this is now 24 women. And with like strikingly similar details about what's happening.

Everything will fall apart for the Celtics later in the series

And then the Celtics will go back to, like, Terry Rozier won't be able to hit a shot anymore, and Jason Tatum will look like a rookie, and Al Horford will be with a Kardashian or something. Everything's going to fall apart.

Wisconsin will lose in heartbreaking fashion on a buzzer-beater

Wisconsin is going to lose in heartbreaking fashion. That's going to be fun... South Carolina will probably win on a buzzer beater right in my face. I'll have front row seats.

The Browns will find a way to mess up the draft even if Deshaun Watson is available

Dabo Swinney basically telling the Browns, don't fuck up, even though you're going to fuck up because you're the Browns and you always fuck up.

Travis Hunter will not be the only five-star recruit to join an HBCU

I liked it as well stated. And I don't think he's [Travis Hunter] going to be by himself. I'm just telling you that he's not going to be alone. I promise you. He is not going to be alone. You're going to hear about that real soon.

Baker Mayfield and the Browns are significantly better without Odell Beckham

It is not a hot take to say that the Browns are just significantly better and Baker Mayfield is significantly better without Odell Beckham. ... Because he doesn't have to feel like he has to throw the ball to Odell Beckham, and if he misses Odell Beckham, Odell Beckham's dad's going to make a fucking mixtape with R.E.M. behind it.

The Jaguars will fail Trevor Lawrence, not the other way around

I'm gonna, I'm going to switch the narrative on Trevor Lawrence. I think that it's the Jack, the Jaguars will fail Trevor Lawrence, not Trevor Lawrence failing the Jaguars because they don't put a team around him. Like I, I think he's going to be great if they can put a little bit of a team around it.

TJ Watt's injury might be a psychological 'Art of War' ploy to trick the Ravens

I have a theory about TJ Watt's injury... I think this could be an Art of War situation. Sun Sue Art of War. Make your enemy think that you were weak when you were strong... Start throwing out the one in 10 without TJ Watts Stats... Let people start thinking during the week of practice. Maybe TJ's not gonna be playing this week.

J.J. Watt needs to wear a surgery cone so he doesn't re-injure himself working too hard

The bottom line is J.J. Watt needs a cone around his head like you give to a dog after surgery because he's so anxious to prove what a hard work he is. This is what it's all about. He rushed back from a back surgery so he could be like, oh, I'm a big, tough guy.

Only Oregon, Ohio State, or Georgia can win the national title this year

I do strongly think that if your name's not Oregon, Ohio State or Georgia, you're not gonna win the whole thing.

Deshaun Watson is the best quarterback in the 2017 draft class

I like Deshaun Watson. I think Deshaun Watson has proven he can play in big games... I think Deshaun Watson is probably number one.

The take that the Warriors are better without Kevin Durant is starting to look true

The kernel, the little fucking seed that got planted a few weeks ago, has now become a full tree, a take tree. Are the Warriors better without Kevin Durant? It is a full-blown take tree. It's the tree that's dropping shit on your car now because you can't go anywhere without seeing this take. And it's starting to look kind of true.

The Cardinals will have a very good, fun-to-watch offense this season

I think the Cardinals' offense is going to be very good this year... I think they might be one of those really fun teams to watch. They might not win seven or eight games, but they give us some great red zone late witching hour moments.

Deshaun Watson will be suspended for the entire 2022 NFL season

I don't think that Deshaun Watson is going to play next year. The more I think about it, the more I think that Roger Goodell is going to step in and be like, that's me, Roger Goodell champion of women everywhere. And we're suspending Deshaun Watson next year. Holy fuck.

Deshaun Watson doesn't like football anymore and will eventually quit on this season

I think [Deshaun Watson] just doesn't like football anymore. Yeah. He's going to, he's going to quit on this season. Or the Browns will find a way out of this. Something's gonna happen.

The Packers, Ravens, and Chiefs are my favorite teams to watch this NFL season

I'm really liking Green Bay. I'm really liking Baltimore for some reason. I'm really liking Kansas City because they're upset and they're going to be a lot more focused.

The Cowboys' defense plays better when they have a backup quarterback like Ben DiNucci

It turns out that in a weird way is kind of good having a shitty quarterback playing because your defense gets this mindset of like we have to create turnovers, we have to stop everybody. Whereas before they're like, oh we got Dak, he's gonna throw for a million yards, I can take a couple plays off here.

Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson will be part of a 'sneaky good' QB class

I have a feeling this year's class... Pat Mahomes, Mitch Trubisky, Deshaun Watson, and even DeShone Kizer, all four have a chance to be sneaky good, I think, in the NFL. So maybe that trend's reversing back a little bit.

The Falcons are a team to watch as a trade destination for Kirk Cousins

I noticed earlier in the week the Falcons made cap room. They did a big restructuring. I could see the Falcons trying to do something like that [trading for Kirk Cousins]. Because if you're being honest as a Falcons fan, you're not really happy with the quarterback situation right now.

If the College Football Playoff started today, my final four would be Georgia, Alabama, Oregon, and Penn State

If they started the college football playoff today, my final four would be Georgia and Bama, which obviously not new colors, but Oregon and Penn state new colors. And that's our color update.

The Bills and the Cardinals are the only two NFL teams that definitely suck after Week 2

I think this is the first time we've gotten to week two, because usually you can tell almost instantly, okay, these teams definitely suck, and these teams are going to definitely be good. I actually only have two teams that definitely suck on the list... the Bills [and] the Cardinals.

Watch out for the Saints as a 'don't look now' team in the NFC

The Saints might be your don't look now team. They finish against the Dolphins, Panthers and Falcons. Like they could run the table. They could be in... they still have so many, their defense is still so good. And with [Alvin] Kamara back, watch out for the Saints.

Derek Jeter will be a successful executive if given five years to fix the Marlins, and I would not bet against him.

Give [Derek Jeter] five years before passing judgment because he walked into a very difficult situation. Here's a five-time world champion, a Hall of Famer—Jeter is going to be just fine. I would not bet against Mr. Jeter.

The Oscars are better without a host

No host is the future. Way better. No stupid gimmicks, you know, when they deliver pizzas or do the selfies or whatever the fuck happens when you run out of bits two hours into the Oscars.

College Football Playoff prediction: Georgia, Michigan, Oregon, and Alabama

I'm gonna go Georgia, Michigan. I'm gonna go Oregon. I'm gonna say Oregon wins the Pac-12. First Pac-12 playoff participant since 2016. And then Alabama.

The Lions are better without Calvin Johnson because Matthew Stafford can spread the ball around

Is this the year that Matt Stafford finally makes the leap? I'm going to say yes. Calvin Johnson was holding him back. Better without Calvin Johnson. He can spread the ball around.

Deshaun Watson will be suspended for at least a full year

We're first reporting on Pardon My Take that Deshaun Watson will be suspended for [at least a full] year. Yep. On Friday... my guess is it will be a suspension for a year, and then the appeal is going to come through... then Goodell is going to be like, okay, I'll like reduce it to 14 games or 12 games.

The Cavs vs. Raptors series is over and I'm not watching another second of it

This series is going to be brutal to watch. Maybe the Raptors play close for four quarters in Toronto for one game, but I don't even give them that... the Cavs are locked in. They're on a different level right now. So this series is over as far as I'm concerned.

Deshaun Watson will have a better season than Aaron Rodgers in 2023

Deshaun Watson will have a better season than Aaron Rodgers. I agree... I'm predicting this year is gonna be like last year. Russell Wilson going to Denver. Yeah. Everybody was like, oh, he's reuniting with Nathaniel Hackett. It's gonna be great. Guess what, Aaron Rodgers. Okay. Big name switching teams.

The Browns might actually be better without Deshaun Watson and Nick Chubb

Do you think that the Cleveland Browns are better without Deshaun Watson, Nick Chubb and Joel Bitonio? They might be. And you had a lot of people talking about the 49ers being super injured today. Well, the Browns, they they got you beat when it comes to major injuries.

Deshaun Watson will be suspended indefinitely for at least one year

Sean was suspended for, for a year, for a year, but also indefinitely. They're going to drop that one on, on Friday. Yup. Yup. Right before 4th of July.

Oregon is the weakest 1-seed but has an easy path thanks to Duke being in their bracket

Oregon's definitely the weakest one seed, but then you've got to look at their bracket. Because they were blessed to have Duke in their bracket, the committee always gives Duke the easy ride. By proxy, Oregon also got the easy ride.

Deshaun Watson will be rusty and the Texans will cover +7

Texans plus seven Dashaun Watson's coming back. He is playing his first game of football since January 3rd, 2021. That's essentially two years. In between football games. That's a long time. It's a long time to not play football. Yes.

Michigan has turned the corner and is a dangerous team after winning the Big 10 tournament

Michigan obviously beat Wisconsin Big 10 title today. Dusty May called it correctly. He was like, our team needs a reset. They got their reset and then they won the big 10 tournament and they looked really good doing it. So maybe they've turned the corner and gotten that reset they needed.

WNBA Finals will be the third most-watched sport in the fall

The finals of the WNBA specifically will have the third most ratings in the fall. So behind college football and the NFL. There needs to be a third place. And WNBA finals will surpass the NBA opening, will surpass the NHL and it'll be the third most watched sport. It'll battle the World Series and it will be three.

Drake deserves an at-large NCAA Tournament bid no matter what happens in their conference tournament

Texas does not to be deserved to be in. They're bad if like Drake gets kept out instead of Texas. If Drake doesn't win their conference, I'll be very upset. I'm gonna say it right now. Drake deserves to be in no matter what.

Travis Hunter will be more impactful as a Wide Receiver than a Cornerback in the NFL

I think everybody I've talked to has a plan to major in minor... I think he's ready, he's more impactful as a receiver right now. And so I, to me, I think that's where you start him... I think he is right now ready to go. There's a ton of ways we can get the ball in his hands and I just think he impacts the game more on offense.

The OKC Thunder will get swept by the Golden State Warriors in the playoffs

Who gets the shot at the end of game four when they're getting swept by the Golden State Warriors? Russ, triple team.

This is the end of the Golden State Warriors dynasty

The Warriors are on the hot seat because the Warriors are breaking up... Steve Kerr is sick of Draymond's shit. Now, I don't know if that was actually what he was talking about, but it's clear the Warriors have... I feel like this is it. This is it. This is the end. Don't you?

The 2016 World Series eliminated the ability for anyone to make '3-1 lead' jokes at the Golden State Warriors' expense

The true winner was Steph Curry, because any Cleveland person who tries to make fun of the Warriors can get that [the Indians blowing a 3-1 lead] thrown back in their face... it just basically eliminated the joke solely at the Warriors' expense.

The Golden State Warriors will stumble in December before turning it on after the All-Star break

I'm on the record. I think they're going to stumble out of the gate. They're going to have a hard December. And then they're going to turn it on after the All-Star break.

The 2022 NBA Finals will be the Brooklyn Nets vs. the Golden State Warriors

I'm going to double dip. I'm going to go nets warriors... Meaning like the warriors are kind of, I'm treating them the same way I'm treated the nets, which is they're too good. They've got so much talent. They're going to figure it out.