Takes

Diana Russini likely leaked the Sedona hotel photos herself to publicly announce her hatred for the New York Jets.

I also kind of think she leaked this article. Like who gives a fuck about Mike Vrabel going out in the middle of the desert? Who leaks that? And then what better way to announce your hate for the Jets than being like, I'm hanging out with Mike Vrabel pants on a rooftop.

Victor Wembanyama should win the NBA MVP

I think we should become a pro Wemby for MVP podcast. Oh, I mean we are... I really like Wemby for MVP because he has played enough games.

Tom Brady never processed 9/11 because he was such a psycho about football

He just had delayed onset grief. Anything that happened during his playing career, he never processed any of it outside of football. Tom Brady probably never processed 9/11. He was such a psycho, all he cared about was football. He probably found out about it like two years ago.

Tom Brady could still throw for 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns in the NFL right now

Tom Brady... It's football. They had the flag football event this past weekend. Tom Brady played in it. I mean, he could go out next year in the league and probably get 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns.

Duke is guaranteed to win the national title this year

I think they're guaranteed gonna win the national title... Most shocking sports story of our lifetime if Duke doesn't win it all this year.

Arkansas freshman Acuff is a more advanced offensive college player than Allen Iverson was at Georgetown

Acuff, I look at him and I, I watch him. He's, he's the best offensive player in the country. And I, I'll say like he's a better college player than Allen Iverson was right now. Freshman year at Georgetown, Iverson, Acuff's more advanced offensively. He's a better shooter... and just athletically his build, he doesn't get knocked around.

The Seattle Seahawks will sell for $10 billion

Somebody told me $10 billion... You're buying the defending Super Bowl champion. That's never happened. Right? You're buying an organization that's run very well... It's a great buying opportunity.

The name 'Six Female Chinese Boy Whisperers' instills fear in opponents

I love that. I love that people hear that name and they go running for the hills... A name that instills fear.

The Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad it ruined my interest in international football forever.

That halftime performance was so bad. I might have changed my stance on international football forever... It was horrible. I was watching it and I was like, this is, who is this for? This is America. This is a fucking Super Bowl.

Duke should have made the College Football Playoff this year

I was on that bus. How do you leave the ACC Champ out? [You lost four games?] Bro. Bro. But it's ACC Champ.

The claim that I ran Kevin Durant out of Golden State is closer to the truth than the claim that I begged him to join the team.

The one that is probably closest to the truth is I ran [Kevin Durant] out of town... Because I'm not begging anyone for this... I don't quite know if I ran him myself. But I'll take that one.

Deshaun Watson having a comeback is the final boss of 'who's the next Sam Darnold'

With all the discourse around Sam Darnold quarterback reclamation projects, it's actually kind of cool to see Darnold being in the Super Bowl. Teams are gonna be like, who's the next Sam Darnold? I found myself this morning thinking about like, what if Deshaun Watson's just good again? What if he's just good? That might be the final boss of who's the next Sam Darnold.

Jalen Hurts plays his own game regardless of the designed offense - the Eagles OC hire won't be someone with other options

There's a certain amount of frustration within the coaching staff and within the locker room because they designed the offense, they designed the plays, they call the plays. And then when it's time to go out there, Jalen Hurts the quarterback plays his game. Whoever the Eagles hire to be the offensive coordinator is not gonna be a guy who has other choices.

The New England Patriots are the worst-looking team to ever make the Super Bowl

Is this the worst a team has ever looked on their way to the Super Bowl? [PFT]: The question people are gonna be asking on other shows, not ours. Is this the worst thing to ever make the Super Bowl?

It's my duty to 'shake it off' on the floors of airplane bathrooms to punish people who walk in with just socks

I watch people get up in their socks and walk into the bathroom... I feel it's my duty to just shake it, shake it up, even it out. Just get the little, few little drops here and there just to let you know that if you wear your socks in there, you're coming home with urine on them.

The US government will confirm the existence of aliens this week

Aliens might drop this week. Like, like there's aliens might drop this week... [The White House] might confirm the existence of aliens as early as this week. And just be ready for the outcome of that.

Exposing your 'boys' to sunlight increases testosterone.

Never tried it, but there is evidence that if you get sun on your boys, that your testosterone will go up.

If Clint Kubiak is hired by the Giants, every Giant is a must-draft in fantasy

I think their head coach is gonna be Clint Kubiak. And if that's the case, every single giant becomes a must draft in next year's fantasy world. Because Bowles is not gonna be there. Right?

Mike Tomlin has to be fired by the Steelers

Regardless of what happens next week, Tomlin's gotta go. I mean, he just gotta go. It's stale. He has a losing record in the playoffs. He refuses, he changes offensive coordinators all the time. Defense coordinators, the seasons all look the same... everything is always the same because it's Mike Tomlin.

The Chicago Bears will face the Houston Texans in the Super Bowl

I'm actually rooting for the Bears to beat the Packers Bears to get the Super Bowl against the Texans. Because I would that, that if the Texans beat the Bears in the Super Bowl [I'll cut off my pinky].

The Ravens will trade Lamar Jackson to the Jets this offseason

I spoke it into existence... Good organization, they think their guy's over the hump might have injuries. Send him to a bad organization who's needy, haven't made the playoffs in 15 years, has a lot of draft capital. Oh my God, that'd be so sick.

The Chiefs are more 'dead' for the future than the Cowboys

I think it's the Chiefs. I think it's the Chiefs for the now and for like the immediate future... They're $32 million over the cap for next year. How do you rebuild the offensive line... The defense has fallen off the face of the earth... I just think like this is a, a little bit, I don't know if it's just a snap my fingers and all of a sudden we're back... where it's like, if you're Dallas offensive line's really good and cheap, the the receivers are ridiculous.

The Eagles season is dead

This team is dead... Nothing will save this team. The only good thing about this team is that Kevin Patullo will get fired. We'll hire a new offensive coordinator and make the Super Bowl next year. Because it's just a cycle for the Eagles right now.

Tyler Shough is the best quarterback in the 2025 draft class.

I'm an in on [Tyler] Shough. Best quarterback of the class.

The Texans' defense is the best singular unit of any team in the AFC.

The Texans might be the best singular unit of any team in the AFC. ... Their defense is for real. And it's, it's like, shit, man. They, they beat the fuck—what they did to Josh Allen a couple weeks ago was like, oh man.

Turkey is a 'peasant bird' and doesn't belong on the Thanksgiving table

I'm not fucking settling for peasant for the peasant bird. Thank you very much... Turkey is dog shit. You guys don't know how cook Turkey.

The 7-4 Chargers will miss the playoffs

They're not making the playoffs... and it's gonna come down to that Chiefs Chargers game and I think the Chiefs will beat 'em. They're seven and four, but if you look at their schedule, it's brutal. And that offensive line is horrible. Yanked [Penning] out of the game. It's a terrible offensive line.

James Franklin is leaving Penn State to become the head coach at Virginia Tech

James Franklin is using the Penn State private jet to move to Blacksburg... I am so pumped that of course. That's the other reason why a jet would go there... I do think that [James Franklin] is gonna be the next coach... somewhere else next year.

The Titans should stop punting and go for it on every fourth down for the rest of the year.

They should just not punt. They should say fuck it. Let's just get reps in on offense... Nobody gives a shit what happens with your special teams. Correct. It's not gonna do anything.

Jacoby Brissett is currently a better quarterback than Kyler Murray

He [Jacoby Brissett] has looked a lot better than Kyler Murray's looked this season. That's not—that's not a mistake. He's better right now.

Indiana can win the National Championship this year

I think Indiana is as—I think they can win a national championship. I really do. The, the, my question for them... is health and injury... If they're healthy, they're really good.

Body wash doesn't work under your armpits

My take was that it's bullshit. That body wash doesn't work under your armpits. If you use body wash on your armpits and you don't use deodorant, your armpits still smell like an hour later.

The Blue Jays' World Series loss is the worst loss of all time

I think that might be the worst loss of all time for the Blue Jays... the slow burn of the loss where if you're a Falcons fan and you're looking at 28 to three... those happen all in one game. This was 10 days where it just, and you had 3-2 going back home. It's just insane.

Tucker Kraft is the best tight end in the NFL

Tucker Kraft best tight end in the NFL. I would say let's just, let's just get fucking reckless. That was yeah. Was the last thing we watched and yeah. Did he have 143 yards and two touchdowns and looked absolutely explosive and unguardable? Why not just fucking say it and then next week Sam LaPorta has a great game? No.

The Dodgers will sweep the World Series in four games.

I will go Dodgers in four... I just think that's going to be the case.

Tua Tagovailoa has 'low eyes' which causes him to miss linebackers

I feel like this is why in the draft you measure quarterbacks up to the eyeballs. You don't measure 'em to the top of the head. Tua's got a lot of wasted space in the forehead. Makes him a little bit taller on paper than he really is. He's got low eyes.

Wisconsin Football will be bad for at least the next five to seven years

I'm starting to think now they're gonna be bad for five to seven years minimum. And if they just keep going down this path, it's gonna be a decade. To the sunk cost fallacy of essentially saying, we made a mistake... let's throw more money at it.

Ty Simpson could win the Heisman Trophy this year

Ty Simpson could win the Heisman Trophy this year. He's not making everyday throws now. He's pushing it down the field. He's getting outta trouble. He's got a soul about it, man.

Luke Fickell will be fired soon

I think Luke Fickell is fired by the way soon and maybe Macintosh the AD. Wisconsin's a dumpster fire, maybe worst program right now in Power four.

The Phillies' loss to the Dodgers is the worst in playoff history since Bill Buckner

It's the worst loss in playoff history since Bill Buckner. He should have gone to first. That is a play that you would be shocked to see on a little league field.

Arch Manning looks like an unpolished freshman and is not ready for the SEC

I thought like the last few years sitting on the bench developing behind Quinn Ewers is like we were gonna see a much more polished player than what we have seen to this point. He just looks like a freshman even though he is now in his third year on campus. So I think that is very alarming.

Lane Kiffin's daughter's relationship with an LSU player is a 'coordinated attack' to get intel

He definitely knew. They've been dating for a while. He posted a picture of her... he's already talked to Weeks about what they're gonna run on defense.

Marvin Harrison Jr. currently has the yips

Marvin Harrison Jr. might suck dude... I'm not scared to say it. Apparently you are, but yeah. He has the yips. You said it earlier, can receivers... he has the yips. Both him and Brian Thomas.

The Commanders are legitimate Super Bowl contenders this season

No, we thinking Super Bowl. It's been generations since we could think Super Bowl and just to be in that window to think Super Bowl is a privilege... Congratulations to the team by the way. We moving back to the nation's capital.

I will get a Taylor Swift lyric tattooed on my body if the Chiefs win the Super Bowl

If the Chiefs win the Super Bowl, I will get a Taylor Swift lyric tattooed on my body... in a place that can be seen. I get to pick the lyric, but I will have it on my body.

St. Louis is a terrible city with shit sports teams and paste-like pizza

St. Louis isn't great. Sports teams shit. Pizza not good. I don't even think it's cheese. I think they use like, some sort of glue or paste. It's a whole, whole entire city of people sitting under an arch eating paste.

The Edmonton Oilers are choke artists and will never win a Stanley Cup

He [McDavid] ain't winning a cup in, in Edmonton. No. Oh. Not at all. They fucking, they're choke artists. They might, they might as well might as well be Maple Leafs. It ain't, it ain't gonna fucking happen.

Brandon Aubrey could be a first or second-round draft pick if re-drafted

If he entered the NFL draft next year, if somehow he got reclassified back and he wasn't in the NFL and was eligible to be drafted, there would be a team that would take him in the second round. I'm saying he is so much better than any other kicker in the NFL.

Disney adults without kids should be sent to jail

I just think there should be two lines at Disney. One for people with kids and one for people without. And the people with kids get to go in the park and the people without get to go to jail, you have to go to jail. There should be a line right into a jail cell.

USF is currently the best team in the country

College football. USF is the best team in the country. Resume. Debate me. USF... Are they the only team that's beaten two ranked opponents? I believe so. So they beat Boise State and then they beat Florida. I think they're, I think you can make the case. They should be ranked higher. Top 10.