Takes

My Early Final Four: UConn, Florida, BYU, and Akron

I'm gonna go Yukon, Florida, BYU, Akron... I'm gonna take Akron to win it all.

Duke not winning the national title would be the most consequential sports story of all time

I think it would be the biggest sports story of all time. If Duke did not win the national title this year. All time. I think all time story... Duke not winning at all this year would be the biggest, the most consequential sports story of all time. Not our lifetimes of all time.

The Jets should trade three first-round picks to move up one spot and draft Fernando Mendoza

I heard that the Jets should trade three first round picks to move up one spot and get [Fernando] Mendoza. ... I think I probably would too if I was the Jets.

The show will perform a group porn if they make it to a 20-year anniversary

If we make it to 20, we will do a porn. A soft-core nine-way gang bang. Okie cookie.

I will play twelve more years of professional football

I would love to play 12 more years. And that's just 12. [Big Cat: Wait, 12 more years, or 12 total?] 12 more years. I'm gonna be on 12 this year... I would love to. I'm halfway. In terms of my arm, it is just... I'm blessed... I'm gonna play 24 years.

The Milwaukee Bucks should not play Giannis Antetokounmpo for the rest of the season

I don't even think Milwaukee would want Giannis to come back and play... They should want to do whatever they can with this pick 'cause they don't have many of 'em. And Giannis probably shouldn't even wanna play and risk health and risk this contract extension that he can get before next fall. So the tanking is gonna get egregious.

Connor McDavid will leave the Oilers after the next three seasons

He's Gonzo win or lose. We have three seasons left with Connor McDavid. That's my opinion... after three years, so three more playoffs. I think that would've been 13 years for McDavid.

The Chiefs should just quit for the season now that Patrick Mahomes is out with a torn ACL

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit. Just quit.

Derrick Henry is officially washed and the Ravens should move to a running back by committee

I would probably go running back by committee if I was the Ravens. I think Derrick Henry's time is done... He just does nothing and all the other running backs are at least explosive.

A 'hot blob' and an 'earth tilt' will make the Chicago winter catastrophic and uninhabitable

Apocalyptic winter might be upon us. Why? I think it's inhabitable winter. We might just have to go out of country... High pressure, massive ocean heat wave up in North Pacific. The blob... They're saying 2013-2014 had nothing on this blob.

I can pass the bar exam without going to law school if I study for four months

I have irrational confidence in myself to be able to pass the bar exam. It doesn't make any sense. I just think that if I, if I tried for like four months... I think I can, I can be a lawyer.

I'm eventually going to lose the tip of my pinky on a bet

I'm probably gonna lose a pinky. Eventually. I'm gonna lose a pinky. We're gonna do this show for the next 40 years. I'm gonna do this bet every year for some year. I'm gonna lose the pinky.

The Colts are intentionally tanking the season to draft Arch Manning

I think it was [Stephen A. Smith] that said that the Colts are purposely tanking for Arch Manning... makes me think the Colts are tanking for Arch Manning.

Arch Manning is as close to—or maybe even better than—Joe Burrow

Arch [Manning] is as close to or maybe as good as Joe [Burrow] as I've seen. Really. And I've never said that about anybody. I watched his practice, and I'll say this conservatively... Arch is the real deal.

I will cut my penis off if Rutgers is ever ranked #1 in football

I said when Greg Schiano was announced as the head coach of Rutgers, that if... Rutgers is ever ranked number one in football, I will cut my penis off. I feel good about that bet, actually.

Jayden Daniels is a top five quarterback in the NFL

I'm the one who's saying [Jayden Daniels] is the top five quarterback. Without a doubt. No questions asked.

The 2025 OKC Thunder championship will be the worst title of their upcoming dynasty

We have gotten ahead of it and we think this actually will be the worst Thunder team to win a title in their dynasty run. 'cause you guys [Alex Caruso] are probably gonna win like six in a row. So you're saying this is the worst this year? Yeah. We just back where we'll be like, can you believe that team won?

Charlie Woods will win more than five and a half career majors

Charlie Woods over under five and a half career majors... Over, over. Smash. Easy. Smash it easy.

Bill Belichick is likely having a baby with his girlfriend Jordon

If I had to give one piece of advice to Jordon, have a baby. No, no. With Belichick, with Bill. Have a—let's get a baby in this thing. Consummate this love with a baby. A baby in the mix of this would be one of the greatest stories.

Travis Hunter will be more impressive in the NFL than Shohei Ohtani is in MLB

You think Travis Hunter will be more impressive than Shohei Ohtani? Definitely. I'm gonna be vindicated. I welcome the hate when it came, but in two years' time I wanna be sitting pretty.

Paige Bueckers will be a better WNBA pro than Caitlin Clark because she's more athletic and explosive

I do think that she [Paige Bueckers] might be a better WNBA player than Caitlin Clark. I think she's more athletic. She's more explosive. Caitlin Clark obviously shoots better from the outside... but in terms of, I'm talking about winning.

Sarah Strong might end up being a better WNBA player than Caitlin Clark

I think [Sarah Strong] might be a better WNBA player than Caitlin Clark. What about that? Whoa... I'm a Juju [Watkins] guy, but [Strong] is a problem.

A 2032 asteroid will likely hit the Earth and specifically ruin a Cleveland Browns Super Bowl run

My fire fest of the week is that there's an asteroid heading towards Earth. It's scheduled to hit the planet potentially in 2032. This tells me this has like Brown Super Bowl run written all over it. And the asteroid shows up.

Drake Maye will win a Super Bowl before Patrick Mahomes wins another one

Who wins the Super Bowl first? Drake Maye. Okay.

Josh McDaniels is going to turn Drake Maye into Tom Brady 2.0

We're gonna draft Drake Maye next season. Fuck yes... Josh McDaniels is going to turn Drake Maye into Brady 2.0.

Anthony Richardson will be out of the NFL in a couple of years

We drafted as our QB one Anthony Richardson on our team... It will never happen again. I actually, I'm, I'm coming in here with takes. I think Anthony Richardson is out of the league in a couple years.

Caitlin Clark is officially on the 'can't win the big one' list until she wins a professional title

Caitlin Clark can't win the big one. She has not been able to win the big one. She literally college cannot win the big one and I don't know what else you could say about it. That's gonna get people real mad. Angel Reese can win the big one, she's a better winner.

Caleb Williams is the Ben Simmons of the NFL

I've been thinking about Caleb Williams. There's, there's a player that he reminds me of. Little bit of a diva off the court. Really big into the fashion life, the pop star life. A can't miss prospect. ... Ben Simmons. Ben Simmons was the next LeBron. ... Ben Simmons was a can't miss prospect. ... Both teams missed the [college] playoffs... Think about Ben Simmons.

JJ McCarthy has the potential to be the greatest quarterback of all time because of his winning pedigree and untapped upside

JJ McCarthy's a perfect quarterback where you can look at it and if you wanna look at it glass half full, he could be the greatest quarterback of all time. 'cause you can essentially say he played winning football, he made the throws he needed to make, and they also asked him not to do anything. So there's so much more. There's upside.

Jordan Love is playing so well that I've admitted he is probably a future Hall of Famer

Jordan loves playing incredible football. I've just admitted that he's probably a future hall of famer. ... That guy has a little bit of 'it' to it. You know, you can't see that when, when a guy comes out in the draft.

Patrick Mahomes might end up passing Tom Brady as the greatest of all time in every category

He might end up passing Brady as the greatest of all time in terms of Super Bowls, MVPs, numbers, the whole deal. I mean that's, he's special and he carries that team every single week.

C.J. Stroud needs to win at least three Super Bowls or his career will be a disappointment

I think now it's our responsibility as media figures to set some unrealistic expectations. ... How many Super Bowls can he win in order for his career to not be a disappointment? ... You gotta get three or else you suck or else this or else you should have been bad from the get go. But you were so good at the start. Now you have to get three Super Bowls.

Bronny James will win an NBA Finals before the Patriots make the playoffs again

Bronny James will win an NBA finals before the Patriots make the playoffs again.

If the NFL hosts a Super Bowl in London, we should riot and reclaim England as a U.S. territory

If that happens, we riot. If we have to play a Super Bowl in England, we get all of England back as part of the United States. It's the Super Bowl. It's not the International Bowl.

Charlie Woods is on pace to win 40 majors

Charlie Woods just won a tournament. Charlie won a tournament... right now he's on pace to win 40 Majors, which is pretty incredible.

I believe I can win 12 majors in my career

I feel like I can get to 12. I mean, think how many, I've already blown like... I feel like I should have nine right now.

Baron Trump will eventually be the first overall pick in the NBA Draft

How awesome would that be if Baron Trump was the first overall pick in the NBA Draft. We were right. It was gonna happen.

I don't want to start a family because aliens will likely kill us all within five years

I like thinking that aliens are real because then it really is like there's no reason to do anything. 'cause like within five years, like the aliens are gonna just come up and fuck us off. ... Like starting a family. It's like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna have kids like aliens are gonna come and kill 'em all. Yeah. Like, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna keep doing my thing.

The LIV Tour will eventually do for golf what Tiger Woods did in the late 90s

You just give the live tour three years. And I predict that every kid, every young kid across America, it's gonna do for golf what Tiger Woods did for golf in 19 98, 19 99. It's gonna be a phenomenon.

I will drive my car into a ravine or off a cliff if Tiger Woods wins another Masters

I will drive my car into a ravine on purpose if Tiger Woods wins another Masters. I'm gonna go ahead and say there's no chance that Tiger wins another masters. If it means that Tiger wins another masters, I will, I will drive off a cliff.

I probably have seven years left to live

My hands fucking shake. I've done too many drugs so I probably got seven years left. Either an OD's gonna take me or one of those fucking heart attacks that leaves me fucking spoonfed.

Victor Wembanyama will be better than LeBron James was at his peak

We actually, we should get credit in the media because like we were so right about LeBron James we called it. And guess what I'm calling it right now? Wembanyama is gonna be great. Yeah. He's gonna be, he's gonna even be better than LeBron at his peaks.

Charlie Woods has more natural ability and will be better than Tiger Woods

I love Charlie Woods. I think Charlie's gonna be better than Tiger. I think that even Tiger would admit, Charlie's got more natural ability than Tiger ever had in his life.

I could start over 50% of current NFL quarterbacks because I know the game better than they do

How many quarterbacks in the NFL right now do you think that you could start over? [Chad]: 50%... I feel like I know the game a lot more than a lot of people. Cuz I started at such a young age and that's all I knew in order to, you know, make it in life. I thought it was just to play in the NFL really.

Clemson freshman Cade Klubnik is a future Hall of Famer after seeing just five passes

This kid for Clemson [Cade Klubnik] is a future Hall of Famer... I've seen five passes from him. Hall of Famer, talking gold jacket folks. Where were you when we said this?

O'Neil Cruz has a chance to be the best baseball player of all time

Someone told me that I trust who has good baseball knowledge said that there's a 5.5% chance he could end up being the best baseball player of all time... think about it, you're like, oh fuck, I gotta pay attention. He's six foot seven... is it true that he runs like Tyreek Hill? He's so fast. And then he threw from shortstop to first base... 97 [mph].

I would bet my life that Duke will not win a national championship in the next 10 years

If Duke wins one title in the next 10 years, you've got to kill yourself... I'll take that bet. I would take the under... I'll bet you our lives. You get 10 years because... John Scheyer, we don't know. He's not proven.

I am 100% confident I could beat up Darren Rovell

Listen, I'm going to beat the shit out of Darren Rovell. If you were to ask me, name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up, it's Darren Rovell. I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick Darren Rovell's ass.

I would 100% beat the shit out of Jake Paul in a boxing match

By the way, I'd 100% beat the shit out of Jake Paul. He wouldn't touch me. They'll never fight me because I actually would beat them. They only choose guys they know they can strategically win with reach.

I think Bryson DeChambeau is taking steroids

I'm out on Bryson DeChambeau. Yes, he's big the bombs. Guess he's put on weight, but he's artificially I'm going to say it right now. I think he's taking steroids. I think that it's artificial popcorn muscles.