Hank

The Nicki Minaj and Cardi B beef will never actually end

I don't think it's going to end though. Give it like two months, the same cycle, spout off. [Nicki Minaj] has a radio show, so she needs shit to talk about.

Chris Paul is the worst teammate in the NBA

Chris Paul, worst teammate in the league... It says all of his former teammates. Ryan Hollins and Glen Davis [say it].

Lacrosse is the sport of the future and will surpass baseball

My cool throne is lacrosse... My other hot seat could have been baseball because lacrosse is coming for that America's Pastime, sport of the future. Premier Lacrosse League was announced. TV deal... This sounds like a real dud. No, this is going to be great.

Boban Marjanovic is not of this world

My who's back is Boban... His clips of him playing are, I mean, I remember people talking about him last year, but this year it's like surreal. He's not of this world. It's like he's playing on a seven-foot hoop.

The Red Sox will win the World Series in five games

Sox in five... I just hope it's six so I can go to game six.

The Chiefs will have a come-down-to-earth game against the Bengals

I think this is going to be the week where everything comes back down to earth. It's a little bit sloppy. They might lose, but they're probably going to be within the record.

The 76ers will win under 53.5 games because Joel Embiid will get injured

I have the under 76ers, 53 and a half. That's just a pure hate bias. No way they all say healthy. Embiid's probably going to get injured for 75 games.

Coach K will fake a brain aneurysm or heart attack if the FBI investigation into college basketball heats up

What injury is [Coach K] going to do if he starts to feel some heat? [PFT: Brain aneurysm is next.] They're not feeling any heat this year. [PFT: Oh, my heart. I'm having a heart attack. My brain.]

Aladdin is the greatest Disney movie of all time

My sleeper is Aladdin, the greatest Disney movie of all time. Yeah, I said it. It's being made into a live-action movie star in Will Smith, The Fresh Prince, which means it's sure to fucking slap.

The Red Sox will beat the Astros in 7 games in the ALCS

Hank, are you worried at all about the Red Sox against the Astros? The Astros are a wagon. [Hank:] I think it's going to go seven games where the Red Sox are going to win.

Giancarlo Stanton should change his name back to Mike Stanton to fix his hitting performance

Giancarlo Stanton needs to change his name back. That would do him a lot of good.

Candy corn is absolutely delicious and should be a year-round candy

Candy corn is absolutely delicious. I think it should be a year-round candy, and I can't wait to eat it for the next month.

Conor McGregor will lose to Khabib Nurmagomedov

My Who's Back of the Week is Conor McGregor... maybe because he's going to lose. He is going against Khabib... who wrestled bears as a child.

Josh Rosen will be exposed as a fraud against the Seahawks

My pick's going to be the Seahawks, minus three... the Cardinals. Yeah, Josh Rosen's going to throw like four picks... After this week, he'll be exposed.

Patriots September losses never matter

The Patriots always lose these games in September. It never matters. I got another stat from this from Tim Whelan on Twitter. So the last three years in which the Patriots reached the Super Bowl, they lost by double digits within the first four weeks.

Christian Yelich will win the MLB MVP

It's Christian Yelich since appearing on Pardon My Take in July. He's first in batting average, tied for first in home runs, first in runs, first in RBIs, and first in slugging percentage. Many people are saying he's going to be the MVP.

The Chiefs' new parking lot policy is the beginning of the end for tailgating

The Chiefs have started a new policy where after the game starts, they're just going to start kicking people out of the parking lot. I feel like it could just be the beginning of the end... They're going to slowly outlaw tailgates.

The 'Pacific Ocean' is superior to the 'Atlantic Ocean' because it is twice the size

My number two, Pacific Ocean. Pacific Ocean, twice the size of the Atlantic Ocean. Has, like, Hawaii, all that cool shit. You could be a cool Cali teen in the Pacific Ocean.

The 'Green Zone' on-field graphic will save the NFL's TV ratings

Breaking moves. I think the NFL has figured out how to save their ratings in their league. The green zone. It's a new feature they rolled out tonight. It's on third downs. It shows you how far players will have to go at any point during the play to get a first down.

Nicki Minaj is rattled and taking a backseat to Cardi B

She's just very rattled. And it's clear that Cardi B's album did better than hers. Cardi B was better at the VMAs. It's just clear that Nicki Minaj is taking a backseat, and she's not happy.

An African buffalo is a top-tier animal choice for a fight and can beat multiple lions

I'll go with the African buffalo... they're diesel. They're like basically like rhino buffaloes. They kill lions. They just fuck everything up in Africa by themselves. ... The African buffalo fucks up like multiple lions.

Duke basketball is entering a major championship window because of Zion Williamson

My cool throne is Duke basketball. So they're back. Zion Williamson, my guy. 6'10", 320 pounds... Dunked from the free throw line. Kyrie, Jason Tatum about to take over for the Celtics. So it's going to be a big, big window for Duke basketball.

There is an oversaturation of dogs on social media

I'm getting on the borderline of getting sick of the oversaturation of dogs on Twitter.

Rosé cider is delicious despite being a 'chick drink'

Rosé cider. Kind of a chick drink, but it's just so delicious. I could drink it any day. Sometimes the ones in the can have a lot of sugar, though, so I try and go out of my way to find one with low sugar.

Latrell Sprewell is a top-tier locker room cancer because he choked his coach

My number three, I will go with Latrell Sprewell. Choked his coach. Probably not good for locker room morale.

Penguins are the most entertaining zoo animal because they trip and fall

My number two, definitely the most entertaining zoo animal, penguins. When penguins are running around, a penguin diving into the water is just pure joy.

Left-handed players should be allowed to play shortstop

Lefties can't be shortstops. It's always bothered me. Someday someone's going to break the mold. ... Someone's got to be the change out there.

LaVar Ball riding coach class on a plane is a terrible look for a brand built on being a 'Big Baller.'

Someone took a picture of [LaVar Ball] riding coach on a plane. It's kind of a tough look if your brand is built on being a big baller. ... You can't be doing that if you're a big baller.

Pregaming a wedding is essential to making the day tolerable when dealing with annoying family members.

Sometimes you're pre-gaming just because you don't want to deal with, you know, annoying family members and whatnot. You got to have a couple beers, make the whole day tolerable.

Massive monuments are the best because they prove you 'really ran shit' while alive

I think the best monuments are the big, giant ones. That's how you know you really ran shit when you were alive. You've got a statue that's three or four times the size of you.

Croatia will win the 2018 World Cup because of the 'presence of smoke'

Taking Croatia because their presence of smoke.

The Challenge is the number one reality show of all time

My number one reality show of all time is The Challenge. I have seen pretty much every season. I watched it when I was young, I watch it now. It never gets old. TJ Lavin never gets old.

Flavor of Love and Laguna Beach are top-tier reality television shows

I'm going to go with Flavor of Love... and Laguna Beach. I was obsessed with Kristin Cavallari.

To Catch a Predator was one of the most entertaining shows of all time

My last one, I feel like I'm going to sound like a fucked up person for this, but To Catch a Predator was one of the most entertaining shows of all time. All time moment, the guy who spilled the margarita in the backyard... It's a fucked up show, but hard not to watch.

Riptide Rush is the only good Gatorade flavor

I'll go Mint Chocolate Chip and Riptide Rush... [Riptide Rush is] the only good one. No, it's the white one.

Playing mini-golf more than 10 times a year makes you a psychopath

If you play mini golf more than 10 times a year, you're probably a psychopath. Mini golf is fun on vacation, but you realize after 10 holes, you're like, I've had enough mini golf.

Loneliness has the same effect on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day

Loneliness has the same effect on [mortality] as smoking 15 cigarettes a day... so if you're lonely, just smoke a bunch of cigarettes and you'll actually be healthier [because you'll make friends].

The national drinking age should be lowered to 18

I'd make the drinking age 18... Because everyone's drinking when they're 18 anyway, so why not just make it legal?

Sitting on a winning bet ticket is one of the best feelings in the world

My number four will be when you're sitting on a winning bet ticket. So like when you bet the Capitals and win the Stanley Cup and you know that it's our year and you're just like, I have $1,500 free money.

The PGA Tour is ridiculous for investigating Bryson DeChambeau for using a compass

[Speaker 1] (16:38-16:41) My hot seat is Bryson DeChambeau. [Speaker 1] (16:41-16:47) The PGA Tour is investigating him and trying to figure out whether it was legal of him to use a compass or not. [Speaker 1] (16:48-16:49) What century are we in? [Speaker 3] (17:16-17:21) I love this that it's a compass is now an illegal tool in golf.

Dwight Howard would work on the Celtics

I actually think he would work on the Celtics. Call me crazy. But they wouldn't let him be the alpha. And if he didn't fit, he wouldn't fit. But I think he could fit.

Real dinosaurs will be recreated within five years

A famed paleontologist, Dr. Jack Horner... came out and said that we're only five years from actually recreating real dinosaurs. Using chickens.

Puma is on a five-year comeback in the sports world

I think Puma's going to be on the comeback. Remember when players started going to Adidas a few years ago? Everyone was kind of shitting on it... Now Adidas is back. Puma's on the five-year come-up.

Lonzo Ball's diss track on Kyle Kuzma was actually ruthless and pretty good

The diss track that Lonzo just dropped on Kyle Kuzma was actually ruthless and pretty good. [Rachel Nichols: You never knew who your dad was? Yeah. That was pretty good.]

Drake's Degrassi reunion video was a calculated response to Pusha T's diss track

Drake decided that his response for the diss track basically coming at his entire livelihood... was to just do a video from his childhood acting days. Big Degrassi reunion.

The Warriors' owner took a direct shot at Kevin Durant by saying Steph Curry 'earned' his deal

[The Warriors owner] said Steph Curry, though, has earned the right to get whatever deal he wants because he's been there since when they were bad and saying that Steph Curry earned it, which is a direct shot at Kevin Durant.

Russia will win the 2018 World Cup

I got Russia.

LeBron James will not sign with the Boston Celtics

You can officially take LeBron out of the Celtics running. Now that this Edelman story's come out, the Boston sports media doesn't need a story... so you can officially take LeBron out of the Celtics running.

The Yankees' protest against ESPN's scheduling is a power move using Aaron Boone's inside knowledge

It's also a power move because you know Aaron Boone knows the inside deal with ESPN, so he knows the leverage he has.

Pusha T killed Drake in their rap beef

So Pusha T killed Drake. Yes. Drake cannot stop. He's still going to come out with an album. We'll probably have some subtle shots, but I don't think he's going to come out with a full-on diss track.