Hank

Automatic tip screens are intimidating and the minimum amounts are getting too high

When you go to pay for something, the people, when you swipe your card, the tip screen automatically comes up. It's intimidating... it's too much. The lowest amount is too much. If you get a sandwich and they show you it, you've got to tip $3 for a sandwich. That's too much.

LeBron James is breaking his social media blackout by using his wife's Instagram

LeBron James, who said he's not going on social media one time the entire playoffs... decided that after the Eastern Conference Finals that he was going to do an Instagram takeover on his wife's Instagram account, which to me seems like he was on social media and not focusing on the biggest series of his life.

The Celtics will win their series in six or seven games

I think they're going to win six. And I think if they don't, they'll still win game seven.

Johnny Manziel is in it for the long haul in the CFL

[Johnny Manziel] signed with the CFL. He's going to the Canadian Hamilton Tiger-Cats... I think he's in it for the long haul.

The Warriors will sweep the Rockets in the Western Conference Finals

Yeah, the series is over. I predicted a sweep, and I stand by that.

I am not worried about the Capitals despite the series being tied 2-2

Listen. We just wanted to say, as a team. It's our year. We're not worried. So the Capitals lost... But we didn't win. We didn't win, but we're the better team. We injected money into the local economy... Not worried.

The Celtics will win the NBA Finals in 7 games

It's going to go six or seven in the finals. Celtics might win in seven. He's got to steal one. He's got to steal one at the Warriors.

Millennials are saving the frozen food industry

Frozen food is also back. So a lot of people bash us millennials and say we're only good for avocados and things of that nature. But it turns out that millennials are saving the frozen food industry.

The Celtics have a 60% chance of beating LeBron James and running him out of Cleveland for the second time.

I said it when the Celtics signed Kyrie that if they can run LeBron out of Cleveland in the beginning of his career and then run it out at the end, it would be the sweetest thing in the world... I put the percentage at 60%.

Tuukka Rask is good but bad in big moments, which makes him not good

The Tuukka Rask thing to me... if he was good, you wouldn't have to tell people he's good. He's good but bad in big moments. So it's like, is that really good? So that's kind of bad.

Terry Rozier is going to get a massive contract

Terry Rozier's going to get paid. [He]'s still got two more years left on his deal, I think. Can you pay everyone? No.

The Celtics vs. 76ers series is going to a Game 7

I think this series is going to go seven. Like I said, if they can stop Ben Simmons in transition, they have a chance to win. ... They're going to figure it out, win a few games, but Celtics have home court advantage, so it's going seven.

Indiana basketball is back because they signed Romeo Langford

My cool throne is Indiana basketball. So they signed Romeo Langford, the number one recruit in the nation. His minister said that Romeo is like Abraham Lincoln. So, I mean, it's going to be huge.

LeBron James's Game 7 cramps were a calculated 'escape plan' to have an excuse if the Cavaliers lost

I actually have a theory that [LeBron's cramps] was an escape plan. Because when he went to the locker room, it was tied. So he was like, if I go to the locker room with cramps, it's an excuse in case we lose this game.

Mint chocolate chip is the best ice cream flavor

My number one flavor... It's mint chocolate chip. Best ice cream flavor there is. Number one pick.

LeBron James will probably lose to the Pacers in the first round (but maybe not)

Not only is [LeBron James] about to lose to the Pacers in the first round, which will be embarrassing for him... Probably not.

MLB is making the stitches on baseballs bigger to create better GIFs

This year they're just making the stitches a little bigger, make more movement, better gifs, more social traction... When the pitches are going like four feet across the plate straight up, it's a little suspicious.

Swallowing gum is completely normal and no different than eating candy

I'm trying to educate the world that it's not, you can swallow [gum]. It's the same thing as candy. It's the same thing as a Tootsie Roll. It's the same thing as a piece of licorice. Once the flavor goes away, you swallow it.

The Timberwolves will upset the Rockets or Warriors if they make the playoffs

I got a take that if the Timberwolves make the playoffs, they're going to upset someone. Either the Rockets or the Warriors.

The Oakland A's low attendance signifies that baseball is dwindling away

My hot seat is the Oakland A's and baseball in general. Oakland A's only managed to draw 7,000 people for their game against the Rangers last night. ... I mean, baseball, another sign. Baseball's dwindling away.

I'm betting on Michigan to cover against Villanova because water always finds its level

Or you bet on Michigan like I'm going to because water always finds its level.

Yankees fans become insufferable immediately on Opening Day

My biggest takeaway from opening day is how much it sucks living in New York when the Yankees, like last year, it wasn't until the end of the season where Yankees fans got insufferable. Day one for the rest of the season. Giancarlo, bro.

The Sixers are easy to guard in the playoffs because Ben Simmons can't shoot

Ben Simmons can't shoot, so if you just take them out of his hands, it's a lot easier to guard a team with four players instead of five.

I believe the guy who claims to be Bill Clinton's son

He's definitely Bill Clinton's son... I've seen the tweets. The story adds up. I've done the research.

Kyrie Irving will be back and fine for the first round of the playoffs

He'll be back in three weeks, first round of the playoffs, no problem... Once [the debris is] out, he's completely fine.

Duke only lost to Kansas because of a blown call on a blocking foul

[Duke] just lost when they should have won because they got called for a blocking foul that was a charge.

Ed Hochuli's retirement is a major blow to the NFL's masculinity

My hot seat is NFL's masculinity. Ed Hochuli retired. He's gone. There's going to be no more giant arms coming at you every Sunday, so I don't know what NFL's going to do. They need someone to fill the void of just a jacked, jacked ref.

Pizza Hut deserves more recognition now that they are the official NFL sponsor

My cool throne is Pizza Hut. We didn't really talk about this on the show last week, but Pizza Hut is now the official sponsor of the NFL. And that's huge because Pizza Hut's delicious, and I'm just happy that they're getting the recognition they deserve.

Las Vegas hotels should build CamelBak hoses into the walls next to beds for hungover guests

Everyone's been so drunk that the next morning... you realize that you are so thirsty that you could basically drink the entire ocean... so this is more of an idea for Vegas... they need to build those camelback hoses into the wall and just so they pop out right underneath your bed. So you can just wake up, open your mouth, and then you just squeeze it.

The Philadelphia sports winning streak will end when baseball season starts

I mean, I don't know when this run is going to cease. Probably baseball season. Hopefully. Definitely baseball season.

Winning a championship can fundamentally change a fan's entire outlook on life for months

The high of a championship... if your team wins a championship, it honestly can change your whole outlook. You buzz for weeks, months, going into next year. You just feel better, you feel happier.

I am officially smashing the panic button on the Celtics

I'm smashing the panic button. Smash. Panic button might be broken. I hit it so hard. I really thought... [the Celtics] could beat the Cavs. Maybe if they got lucky, beat the Warriors. [But after today] there's really no hope for, like, another two years.

The Patriots will win Super Bowl 52 by 10 or more points

I think this game is going to be in hand from beginning to end. Patriots are going to win by 10+. Bird in the hand. That's the old saying. 31-20.

Fortnite is the hottest game in the streets and is curing kids' depression

Fortnite, the hottest game in the streets. It's free... You're hearing stories about these kids who finally win a game or two of Fortnite, and their whole lives they get cured from depression.

Patriots fans will be the classiest fan base in Minnesota during Super Bowl LII

[The Patriots] are going to be the classiest fan base in Minnesota because Minnesota people are coming back to Minnesota with tragic and horror stories about how mean the Philadelphia fans were to them. So it's going to be exciting to see if they try and do anything back to Philly fans next week.

Zion Williamson is basically LeBron Jr.

They landed Zion Williamson, who's basically LeBron Jr., has the craziest mixtapes of him ever.

Yolked: A gym that serves gourmet egg breakfast sandwiches

All in my notes, it just said, Yolked, and it's a gym and egg sandwich breakfast combo... Y-O-L-K-E-D... you can get yolked and then you get an egg sandwich.

The media is inflating the severity of Tom Brady's hand injury to give the Jaguars a reason for people to watch

If the Patriots are playing the Steelers and this hand thing happened, they wouldn't even be talking about it. But they know that the Jaguars, they need a storyline, they need a reason for people to watch, they need a reason to believe, so they're inflating the severity of his hand.

The Patriots are a bigger lock this week than they were last week and they'll hit the Over

I'm going to take the Patriots. I'm going to say that they're more of a lock this week than they were last week... I would take the over. I probably won't, but I'm just going to load up on the Patriots.

I'm taking the Eagles and the Under against the Vikings

I like the Eagles and I like the under, but I want the Eagles to lose in a heartbreaker just so we can get a bunch of drunk Philadelphians walking around with dog masks all night.

The Eagles will cover +2.5 against the Falcons

I like the Falcons too. But I'm going to take the Eagles. Hank's on the Eagles plus two and a half.

The Patriots will beat the Titans by 30 points

Bet every single dollar you have on the Patriots. They're going to win by 30.

Bill Belichick will become the commissioner of Lacrosse to take down the NFL

Bill Belichick hates the NFL, hates Roger Goodell... He's going to become the commissioner of lacrosse. He knows. He sees the writing on the wall. The NFL is going to be dead soon. Concussions. Everyone's going to stop playing... then he's going to start recruiting the best football minds to lacrosse... he goes on top as the best coach of all time [by taking down the NFL].

I am rooting for the Jaguars to beat the Bills in the wildcard round

The Jaguars [over the Bills]. No question. No doubt about it.

Lock of the Week: Jaguars -4.5 vs 49ers

I have the Jags. Blake Bortles. [The spread] is four and a half, by the way. Minus four and a half.

Aliens will eventually hack the cloud and release everyone's deleted messages and photos

I've always thought that at some point in the future that every text message, Snapchat, picture message, picture they've ever taken and deleted, that's all going to end up on the internet for everyone... Aliens are about to start that. They're aliens, so they obviously know how to get to the cloud.

Belichick rescinding Alex Guerrero's credentials is good because friction causes fire and will motivate Tom Brady

It's not a friction. It's actually a good thing. It means Belichick's lighting a fire under Brady's ass because friction causes fire. So Belichick knows he's got to push Brady's buttons if he wants him to keep playing at this level at such an old age.

The Celtics will win five championships after LeBron James leaves for the Lakers

[Gordon Hayward] is going to beat LeBron, then LeBron's going to leave, go to L.A., and Celtics are going to win, like, five championships.

I will knock out Tex in the second round

Second round knockout. Woo! Boy. Actually, I'm 100% on board with that... I'm going to knock his ass out. Double sit-em. And my sleeper is the left-handed uppercut. Watch out for that in the second round when I fucking knock Tex's ass out.

I am going to kill Dylan 'Tex' Stone at Rough N' Rowdy

My hot seat is Dylan [Tex] Stone. He's the person I'm fighting on Friday, December 15th at the Rough and Rowdy. It might be just because I'm all hyped up on pre-workout right now, but I'm going to fucking kill him.